Chapter 18: 14.5 [the unspoken memory]

I had a dream that night. 

It had been so long since I dreamt that I had forgotten how surreal dreams could feel. In my past life, I consciously avoided dreaming in my sleep. Not just because there was always the looming threat of being attacked when I was at my most vulnerable, but also because dreams were…well, simply dreams. I understood, more than anyone else, that no amount of dreams could save us from the grim reality. It seemed like that habit had passed on with me into this second life, so it was always a surprise whenever I slipped into a dream. 

In that dream, I was once again a young girl. A girl with deep red eyes that shone with a mischievous glint and long, silky hair which flowed down her back like a river of lilac bloom. A girl who had found herself lost in the magical forest that lay beyond a place I once called ‘home’. As the dream gradually became sharper and clearer, I could hear a whispery disembodied voice speaking to me from nowhere and everywhere at once. It was a language I had not heard in a long time, so it took me a while to understand what the voice was saying. 

What is your name, human child? 

Stefania. That was my name in this world. 

Stefania, the crown jewel… The voice took some time to seemingly muse over my name before asking, so, why are you here? Do you know?

I had honestly no idea how I ended up in this unfamiliar clearing in the middle of the forest. I had been playing with a group of wild faeries by the creek, and one of them had suddenly run away without warning. I tried to follow after it, and before I knew it, I had lost my way in the forest. I was wandering about aimlessly trying to retrace my footsteps when I stumbled upon this clearing. 

Unfortunately, that’s the wrong answer, the voice replied gently. Do you want to try again? 

I frowned and tried to recall what happened before I found myself here one more time. To my bewilderment, my recollections came up blank—not because I couldn’t remember them, but because…because they didn’t exist in the first place. 

I realised, with a chilling horror, that I had no memories of myself. Why am I here? Where is this place? What is my name? 

W-who am I? 

The voice fell silent for a long time, so long that in my overwhelming despair, I had forgotten that they were still present. 

The Hero, they suddenly whispered. You were the Hero. You are the Hero. 

I froze with a start of shock. The Hero? Me? 

Then, as if a floodgate had opened somewhere in my mind, a flow of memories began to trickle into my consciousness. Some memories which I remembered dearly, some which weren’t too pleasant to recall, and some…some memories which I didn’t recognise as mine at all. They depicted people I was certain I had never met before in my past lifetime, showed me sceneries and landscapes that I had never been to, spoke of things that never existed in Eltshion. 

But strangely enough, I felt an inexplicable emotion welling up inside of me as the unfamiliar memories flashed before my eyes one by one. An emotion that felt soft and warm like a sun-kissed blanket, yet tinged with a profound sadness that I could never begin to understand or find the cause of. 

In one particularly vivid memory, I was walking down a busy street of a city so large it could have easily dwarfed the capital city of the Republic. It was filled with light not from torches and fires, but from strange metal poles with glass tops that lined along the sidewalks of the cobblestone street. Peculiar horseless carriages clattered past me, the copper pipes running all over their lacquered wood exteriors puffing out clouds of steam that dissipated into the cold air. The buildings surrounding me were a mix of old and new, with towering structures of stone and wood interspersed with humble hovels and shops. The banners of a nation unbeknownst to me flew high overhead, their colours bright and bold against the starlit sky. 

A voice abruptly called out to me in a language I didn’t understand. It was a soft, mellifluous voice that sounded gentle and clear like the murmuring of a stream, a voice that made me pause my footsteps and turn around to face its owner. I apparently said something in reply, because the small figure cloaked in shadows waved their hand at me dismissively and approached a reptilian vendor selling what looked to be trinkets and treats. I shrugged my shoulders and gave the figure a resigned yet fond smile. 

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The memory dissolved into a white haze, and almost immediately, another memory replaced it. This time, I was inside a bustling tavern lit by the same strange flameless light, raising a tankard of ale in front of a massive crowd gathered in the foyer. The din of the tavern instantly subsided as everyone froze in anxious expectation. I said what sounded like a speech, after which the crowd erupted into boisterous cheers, glasses clinking together in a celebratory toast. A bard by the entrance strummed his lute, playing lively tunes that had everyone tapping their feet and singing along loudly. Delicious aromas wafted in the air as platters of roast meats and stews were passed around the tavern. 

I spun around happily on my feet, shouting at the top of my voice while offering a toast to the group of people that had been standing behind me—an elf with beautiful alabaster skin and flowing robes of deep blue, who carried a staff of polished wood wherever she went; a tall, broad-shouldered man clad in leather armour, with chiselled features and cedar brown hair that was tied back in a ponytail; a female wolf beastkin wearing a hauberk of gleaming silver mail, proudly wielding a mace in her left hand and a warhammer in her right; and last but not least…

My eyes gazed upon the small figure cloaked in shadows as they stepped forward first with their glass—the same figure who had been walking with me along the busy street, I realised. They said something in response and I laughed heartily while downing my drink. 

The memory ended there, seamlessly transitioning into another like a mental slideshow. I was now sitting at the rear of a wagon winding its way through a wide moonlit valley, the peculiar sounds of steam puffing out of pipes and creaking of iron wheels the only sounds that could be heard in the tranquil night. 

The tall, broad-shouldered man with a ponytail was sprawled across the bench to my left, his arms crossed behind his head and his breathing slow and steady as he slept. The elf sat across from him, her eyes closed in solemn mediation; the wolf girl snored softly beside her, a contented smile on her face while she drooled in her slumber.

And sitting right next to me on the rear bench, their head resting serenely on my shoulder, was the shadow-cloaked figure. The wagon jerked as it ran over a rut in the dirt path, seemingly stirring them awake. I whispered something to them, and they glanced at the three other companions on the wagon before whispering back to me in a demure-sounding voice. 

I murmured something again, and they slowly leaned in close to me, wrapping their arms around my waist. With a tender smile, I gently cupped their chin and brushed my lips against theirs in a fleeting kiss. 

Then we both suddenly straightened and turned away at the same time. My heart was pounding, my cheeks had turned bright crimson and my hands were shaking in excited trepidation as I rested them on the hilt of my sword. An ornate hilt with a pommel that I recognised with a startling jolt. 

You were the Hero. 

I stared at the flame-shaped golden pommel under my hands. There was simply no mistaking it—this was the one and only Holy Sword of Eltshion. 

You are the Hero, the disembodied voice repeated in my head, as the memory before my widened eyes slowly faded away. 

Just as an opaque darkness began to cloud my vision, I heard a mellifluous voice whisper to me again. I turned to face the figure—and for a single moment, the moonlight shone on their face at the right angle, revealing soft pink lips that were upturned in a charming smile, wind-swept yet luscious black hair and lush, long lashes.

But it was their eyes that made me pause. Because I had never seen such exquisite eyes before. Eyes that glittered like diamonds in the pale silvery light. Eyes that were of a brilliant, mesmerising blending of green and blue…

Green and blue…

Greenish blue…

…like the colour of aquamarine.

And, the disembodied voice quietly added before everything went black, you shall forever be the Hero.

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