Chapter 11: CH 11

Translator: THISBRO

Editor: Mimishijie

Proofreader: Happy Bubbles

When he said this, that bunch of male disciples instantly blanked. Wasn’t it you who told us to do it? If it wasn’t for having you as a backer, we’d be crazy to dare do a Xuanmen disciple…

All of the disciples looked at each other in dismay, while You Jiang found this increasingly strange. Seeing that Qian Ren didn’t have the intention of doing anything, he took the lead, “These two were the spies Palace Master had just exposed, we are currently following Palace Master’s orders in awarding them to the disciples.”

Hearing this, He Ku once again appraised the people in the Hall. He first looked at the two righteous sect disciples, with their pretty boy features, then moved on to the male disciples who had the stereotypical ugly demonic cultivator appearance and couldn’t help but sigh. Just how big did the hatred have to be?

It stands to reason that since he’d just arrived, he wouldn’t understand anything, and therefore wasn’t willing to intervene in He Huan’s affairs at all. However, it wouldn’t sit well with his conscience if he just watched as this scene was carried out in front of him. Thinking that He Huan should have anticipated his reaction since he dared to release him, without hesitation, he opened his mouth and said, “With appearances like that, how are they fit to be rewards? Assign them to do the laundry and sweep the floors1 and be done with it.”

With appearances like that?

The mass of disciples all looked at the Xuanmen disciple’s face, then compared it to their own. All at once, they felt their hearts cry out in anguish. So it turned out that this standard was only fit to do chores? No wonder, even after so many years, the Palace of Bliss had never received a Palace Mistress, it was all because their master’s eyes were placed too high ah!

The Xuanmen disciple had grown up under the constant praises of his martial brothers. When he heard this villain actually compare him to an outer court disciple, he instantly forgot all of his previous fear towards He Huan and erupted, “I am a noble Xuanmen Righteous Sect disciple, and yet you dare dishonour me like this? Shameless! Despicable! I will report you to my shifu and have you exterminated!”

With this remark, even the male disciples who were holding him down couldn’t help but feel respect. This was a warrior ah! First, let’s not mention who his shifu was, but even the Xuanmen-zhangmen wouldn’t have enough confidence to guarantee they’d be able to kill He Huan. To be able to survive even after so incessantly courting death in front of their Palace Master, this person must have been some kind of high priest who’d managed to cleanse the world or something in his past life, right?

Looking at him in sombre silence, He Ku was semi-speechless. Were all righteous cultivators this stupid? He Ku finally understood a little as to why the Palace of Bliss hasn’t been razed to the ground yet, even with He Huan’s lackadaisical attitude of practically abandoning himself to pleasure and not managing the sect at all. This was simply a one-sided IQ suppression ah.

Knowing that the more he was polite to this type of spoiled young master, the more unruly he’d get, He Ku also didn’t waste pleasantries. His expression turned severe as he pointed at the disciple and commanded, “Shut up! You come to my Palace of Bliss, swords raised and shouting bloody murder, clearly, you were going to try to wash this place in blood. Yet you, as the offender, dare to report first?”

Seeing that Xuanmen disciple’s furious expression, He Ku didn’t give him the chance to defend, directly turning to the enforcers beside him, “Assign this one to the lavatory!”

Hearing this, You Jiang was instantly dissatisfied, “Palace Master, the cultivation of these two isn’t weak, you should assign them a more appropriate punishment.”

Not expecting this idiot to be an expert, He Ku asked, “What level is he at?”

“Early-stage Golden Core.”

To think that he’d thought Yun Ce’s late-stage Golden Core level was very rare; who knew that it was practically everywhere. It seemed as if being knocked out by that god thief was inevitable. Thinking to this point, He Ku also recognized that it wasn’t good to just let two righteous sect cultivators roam about, he would need to find a person to keep watch over them. He looked to the mass of demonic disciples… and added another requirement — it must also be someone who couldn’t be bribed. And so, his eyes fell on Yun Ce, who was currently spiritedly chattering to Sai GuanYing about the Palace Master’s qi-deviation, and calmly asked, “Yun Ce, are you able to defeat them?”

Clueless as to who it was that asked this question, Yun Ce reflexively answered, “Of course I can, anyone from my clan can easily take on five opponents within our level at the same time. Moreover, the Palace Master has even sealed their cultivation.”

This was what he was waiting for, He Ku immediately slapped the table, “Good, then you will be responsible for watching them work.”

“Me?”

It was only now that he registered it was the Palace Master who was speaking. Yun Ce’s cheerful face instantly soured, aggrievedly resisting, “Palace Master, weren’t you the one who said that male pets didn’t have to do any work and could do as they pleased? This isn’t my responsibility ah!”

“Then tell me, who is it that is usually responsible for this type of thing.”

Hearing his master’s response, he decisively pushed it to the two busiest people in the palace, “Head Enforcer and Second Enforcer!”

Although He Ku wasn’t familiar with them, it didn’t obstruct him in feeling a deep sense of sympathy for the only two enforcers that did any work. And so he decided, “Fine, from today onwards, you are now the fourth enforcer, for a respectable demonic sect to not have Four Heavenly Kings2, how embarrassing.”

Never having anticipated that such a serious position could be given so haphazardly, Yun Ce was shocked before continuing to resist, “I can’t! Palace Master, seriously look at me, the disparity between me and them is immeasurable, there’s no way I can be an Enforcer!”

He’d already prepared to showcase how lazy he could be and highlight all of his flaws, how if he were made to be an enforcer, the Palace of Bliss would fall into danger and that he mustn’t let the hope of the demonic side die just like this.

And yet, he’d only heard the Palace Master turn towards the two male enforcers as he curiously asked, “Have I ever slept with you guys before?”

“No.” As the last virgin male in the Palace of Bliss, QianRen’s face darkened as he defended his chastity.

“Never!” You Jiang, the last straight male in the Palace of Bliss, used a very forceful tone as he defended his sexual orientation.

Satisfactorily receiving the response that he wanted, He Ku made his way over to Yun Ce as he encouragingly clapped his shoulder, “See? You also hadn’t. You were destined to become an enforcer.”

This time, Yun Ce was really speechless, “You can even argue it like this?”

“How is it not okay? I am the Demon Lord, when have I ever been reasonable in my actions?”

Suddenly remembering his identity, He Ku eagerly slipped into character. Even immersively threatening, “Watch them carefully, if anything happens I will immediately fire you and destroy any future prospects in your goal to become a male pet.”

Silently watching as Yun Ce begrudgingly accepted his new status, the crowd of disciples didn’t feel that it was too much of a surprise. After expending so much effort in order to trick the Snowy Mountian’s late-stage Golden Core genius to come here, how could he just be a mere male pet? Although the status of enforcer was a bit high, considering that he had the Snowy Mountains to back him up, it really wasn’t that excessive. It’s just that, although their Master’s behaviour was just as arbitrary as usual, how come it felt a little off? As if he really was just acting arbitrarily? No, how could their far-sighted Palace Master act purely arbitrarily? This must be an illusion.

Noticing that the disciples were now trading confused gazes, Qian Ren coughed as he finally stepped out to maintain order, “Everybody, although this person’s words and actions are a little… but he really is the Palace Master. Only, he’s an 18-year old Palace Master.”

Just this one line had all the demonic sect disciples gasp. The 18-year old Palace Master… wasn’t that… they just knew that opening the Main Hall would lead to bloodshed!

He Ku never expected that the Head Enforcer had been informed about his relationship to He Huan. While he was being surprised, his gaze shifted to see that everyone in the Hall had instantly paled.

He was still bewildered when the disciples beside him instantly leaped back a good 10 meters. Still seeming insecure, they took a few cautious steps backwards as well. Following that, he saw that beautiful woman who had been hugging the righteous sect disciple immediately employed her flying skill, speedily running to the back after saluting him, “Palace Master, this Xiu Niang has recently felt that my waist and back were quite sore. I’m afraid that it might be my menstruation cycle, so I’ll be leaving first, excuse me!”

Third Enforcer, with your age, what menstruation cycle are you talking about? It was clearly just an excuse!

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Seeing her manage to make a clean escape, the disciples all gritted their teeth, only hating that their status wasn’t enough and thus, they didn’t dare leave without permission. Rather, it was a female disciple who stood behind where Xiu Niang had been that hastily followed, “Palace Master, this disciple feels that my chest is stuffy and I have the urge to throw up. I suspect I may be pregnant, so I’ll be leaving first to find a doctor to take my pulse.”

Seeing she was completely fit and able-bodied as she rushed out, with no hint of pregnancy anywhere to be seen, everyone couldn’t help but lament that in times of crisis women actually had so many excuses to use in order to escape. However, at this time, a male disciple quickly followed after her, “Palace Master, this disciple suspects the child to be mine, so I’ll be taking my leave.”

With this precedent, another disciple quickly rushed out to fight for fatherhood, “Palace Master, this disciple suspects that the child is actually mine, I need to go and check.”

“Palace Master, the one who is pregnant is my dual-cultivation partner, for this disciple to have grown such a field of grass on top of my head, I have no other motive, please pardon me as I go hack those two into pieces.”

Huh? That last one didn’t seem to be an excuse?

Seeing that the fastest of them had already escaped to determine the child’s true father, everyone couldn’t help but fret. All the excuses had already been used up, what were they to do?

It was said that two minds were better than one. Gathering all the wisdom of the disciples around him, a male disciple instantly stood ramrod straight as he shouted, “Palace Master, I’m afraid that a fight will break out, us brothers will go and stop them!”

Not forgetting his comrades in times of trouble, this was a true friend ah!

They looked gratefully at that good person before they all firmly swarmed outside as if the Main Hall contained a monster.

“You guys are this type of Palace of Bliss?” Speechlessly taking in the suddenly half-empty hall, He Ku found out that his perspective of demonic sects was once again washed anew.

Towards this display, He Huan didn’t really take much offence; instead, he had an attitude of watching drama take place in front of him. Taking advantage of the fact that no one could see him, he was lazily lounging on a roof beam, chuckling, “There aren’t really rules in my Palace of Bliss, so the disciples are fairly lively.”

Is it really okay for you demonic cultivators to be so lively?

Speechlessly accepting He Huan’s explanation, He Ku saw that the ones who’d remained were still trembling in fear before deciding to wave them away, “Whatever, dismissed, dismissed. Everyone go back home and birth your babies.”

“Thank you, Master!”

Seeing they all had an expression as if they’d just slept with death and lived, spiritedly running out, He Ku was a little depressed. He turned to Qian Ren, the only one who hadn’t moved, and asked, “Was I really that terrifying at 18-years-old?”

The mercenary facing him wasn’t frightened in the slightest, as if having long anticipated such a scene would occur, calmly replying, “The 18-year-old Palace Master wasn’t scary, but if it was an 18-year-old Palace Master with the cultivation of a Calamity Crossing expert, then there exists no demonic cultivator who wouldn’t be afraid.”

It seems that He Huan’s teen years were spent fairly rebelliously.

He Ku deeply worried whether it was during this time period that he’d become a delinquent, before glancing at the still calm Head Enforcer, “Then why aren’t you scared of me?”

“From this subordinate’s observation, Palace Master’s intelligence has also been stopped at 18-years-old.”

Although Qian Ren’s answer was extremely sincere, it didn’t affect He Ku’s urge to beat him up. What was more maddening, that bastard He Huan was actually watching from the sidelines and gratifyingly praised, “As expected of my disciple, your observation is perfect, perfect!”

Just as He Ku was debating how he was going to choke He Huan, this traitor, that black-clothed Second Enforcer amiably stepped up and comforted him, “Palace Master, don’t be sad. Let this subordinate recount all of the righteous side’s greedy ambitions, you and I must wash the Three Major Sects in blood! Otherwise we’d be wasting our youth’s hot-bloodedness!”

Did you really take him for a fool? This guy was clearly trying to take advantage of the opportunity to use him for his own ends!

Just as He Ku wanted to prove to these two that it wasn’t his intelligence that was insufficient, but rather He Huan was too cunning and therefore shouldn’t be used as a point of comparison, he saw Qian Ren dragging You Jiang out with him, “Enough, the Palace Master is tired. Let him return to his QingYun Hall to rest.”

And so, other than him and He Huan, this spectating spirit, the entire hall was empty.

Helplessly accepting the fact that all of his subordinates ran away the moment he appeared, He Ku sighed, “He Huan, how come I feel as if I don’t have any weight?”

“That’s fine, I do.” He Huan came down from the roof beam and patted his head, then, thinking that He Ku didn’t have any cultivation and therefore couldn’t see him, boldly decided to hug him. As if he was highly interested in taking liberties with his own body, this kind of novel experience.

He Ku couldn’t see what he was doing, only fixated on worrying that the demonic sect was nearing its end, “Do you? How come I can’t feel it?”

Thinking that he indeed hadn’t shown He Ku his Palace Master side, He Huan paused before smiling mischievously. He lowered his pitch into an ambiguous tone, “Perhaps that’s because we’ve only ever met each other in bed?”

This… although it was true that they chatted while laying on the bed; how was it that, when it came out of He Huan’s mouth, it just seemed weird?

Peeved by his tone, He Ku directly expressed his internal thoughts. “Fuck, you’re so vulgar.”

“You little ones don’t understand, this is called being flirty.”

Seeing with satisfaction that He Ku had been provoked until he was practically glaring daggers and scowling, He Huan’s mood became increasingly good. He likes seeing his face reveal these types of expressions, full of youthfulness and innocence. This was something he’d never be able to regain, no matter how powerful he becomes.

If at this time He Ku had cultivation and could see him, in this hall which had been washed in the blood of both righteous and demonic cultivators, two men identical in appearance would have been gazing into each other’s eyes. Although one of them wore an angered expression, it was more like he was a cat waiting for its master to admit his mistakes, 70% bluff and 30% indignance. The other, seeing him like this, only chuckled as he moved forward to place a kiss on the little kitty’s forehead. Soon after doing this, he couldn’t resist trying to muffle his snickering as he watched the other stalking forward obliviously, ranting the whole time. He lazily floated beside him, seemingly entertaining himself in an adequate manner.

He Huan remembered that when he was young, someone had once said that elder’s expectations and how others view you were all unimportant. At the end of the day, as long as you are able to grow into someone you like, then that is the greatest happiness in life. At this moment, he was able to confirm that he indeed still liked this youthful version of himself, but in the same sense, does his 18-year-old self like today’s He Huan?

From He Ku’s performance, he probably did not.

In the end, it seems he wasn’t able to attain this ‘greatest happiness in life’.

End of Chapter 11

chores were often completed by the outer court disciples who were more or less the servants until they got accepted into the inner court.

Four Heavenly Kings (四大天王) – refers to the Four Heavenly Kings/guardians in Buddhist law. “They are the protectors of the world and fighters of evil” and “inspect the state of virtue and morality in the world of men” and vowed to protect Buddha.

They are obviously not all that righteous stuff, but I felt that it was still fitting to leave the title as is.

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