Chapter 3: CH 3

Chapter 3 – Cherry Blossoms Billowing Across Snow


“I can’t imagine the way you would look in bed at all.”

He didn’t even have to come up with a draft before bluffing people. Fang Juexia envied him so much. 

“You! Who are you?”

“You can’t tell?” His tone at the end of this question made him sound even more careless than before. Fang Juexia felt the hand on his shoulder sway gently as fingertips tapped against him. “I’m Pei Tingsong ah.”

The other party’s voice suddenly came to a halt. “Pei…”

“Yes, Pei Tingsong, the one who had counter-killed your garbage last time. I heard you wanted to have me blocked last time? Did you succeed?” Pei Tingsong pressed a hand on the table behind him and then sat on it. “It seems that in the end, the broadcast didn’t dare to cut out my parts ma.”

Fang Juexia knew where this guy’s power came from, but he didn’t expect that this guy would actually be willing to use this power on his own self.

The other party experienced the sensation of having a fishbone get stuck in his throat for a moment. He knew that he couldn’t afford to offend this guy, so he didn’t try to go around in circles with him. “You give the phone to Fang Juexia, I have proper business to discuss with him.”

“Your proper business is related to hidden rules for young male artists? Your benefits are pretty good ah.”

He even knew about that; Fang Juexia frowned.

Pei Tingsong had a straightforward character, and after having worked with him for two years, Fang Juexia couldn’t be more clear about this point. But even so, the words “hidden rules” pierced sharply through him, so he tried to escape from the loose grip of that leisurely and carefree hand on his shoulder to widen the excessively intimate distance between them. 

But the moment his shoulder left Pei Tingsong’s grasp, Pei Tingsong caught hold of his runaway wrist. He hadn’t changed his posture at all—his head was still half-bowed as he spoke on the phone—only his eyes raised up slightly as he matched his sharp gaze against Fang Juexia’s. Then he continued with his conversation, “If I worked for the news, this would be a great scoop. Ready-made materials just waiting for me to bust them open and explode them into the light, right?”

Fang Juexia didn’t know who that “right” was meant for, all he could feel was his wrist being encircled and pricked by thorns. 

“What the hell does it have to do with you?”

Fang Juexia was also curious, because this matter really had nothing to do with Pei Tingsong.

“Of course it has something to do with me.”

The hold on his wrist tightened.

Pei Tingsong’s long legs spread apart as he explained, “Didn’t you see the Hot Search? The company has asked us to form a CP, so before this business agreement ends…” He faced Fang Juexia and laughed like a naughty child. “Everything he does is bound to me and mine.”

“His reputation concerns my reputation, and his private life affects the public’s view of my private life. Once we publicly announce and establish a symbiotic relationship, the eyes of the many will start to equate all of these things between us.”

His tone made it very clear that he was completely bantering. “Do you think I look like the kind of person who would become a sugar baby for you?”

The voice on the other end of the phone went from being agitated and indignant at the beginning to getting completely choked off by the end of this conversation. This person could think of nothing more to say. In this circle, some people were famous, some had money, and others had their own means. However, they all had one thing in common; that was, they accepted and generally abided by all the rules, spoken and unspoken, of this industry. But Pei Tingsong was a freak who loved breaking the rules, and he also had strong backing behind him, one who supported his rule-breaking wholeheartedly. This not only made him look like a bastard, but also made him someone not to be trifled with. 

Hearing no further sounds from the other end of the call, Pei Tingsong’s mouth curled as he said, “Goodbye then, Assistant Director Yang.”

His tone then cooled as he warned—

“Be a bit more well-behaved, and dream less.”

Pei Tingsong raised his hand to the earphones to end the call before taking them off. He then raised his chin and stared at Fang Juexia, not saying a single word. Although he didn’t speak, the way he raised up his eyebrow made for a very obvious hint—he just was waiting for him to speak first.

Fang Juexia knew that he should open his mouth and say something at this time, but he first looked down at  Pei Tingsong’s hand, which was still grasping onto his wrist, and there didn’t seem to be even the slightest indication that he would let go. Pei Tingsong saw him glancing at their hands, and the corners of his mouth hooked up again, while the slender fingers of his free hand started playing with the headphones.

“Thank you.”

Pei Tingsong tilted his head, and his eyes chased Fang Juexia’s evasive gaze. “Listening to your tone of voice, it doesn’t seem like you’re all that grateful towards me.”

Who would have known that Fang Juexia would suddenly reply solemnly, “I’m very grateful. But I didn’t want anyone else to get involved in this matter, especially my group members.”

So earnest.

Pei Tingsong lazily nodded twice. “You especially didn’t want it to be me ba.”

Fang Juexia’s indifferent eyes fell on him for a few seconds, and then he nodded slightly, showing his agreement for this sentence.

“But thank you all the same.”

Hearing this, Pei Tingsong laughed. Talking about it, the most unusual part of his facial features were his eyes. When he wasn’t smiling, they looked cold and intense. But the moment he smiled, they would immediately turn into a pair of curved, childish eyes, and his entire demeanor would also change completely in a flash. 

However, Fang Juexia knew that even if this person was smiling at him now, it was only out of amusement at his circumstances. 

He was simply curious and asked, with an expression like that of a student with a strong thirst for knowledge, “Why would there be someone who has taken a liking to you ah? I can’t imagine the way you would look in bed at all. Do these people have a thing for ice or wood?”

He said it so bluntly that Fang Juexia couldn’t get angry at all, and instead quipped back quite peacefully, “Then can you let go of this wood’s hand?”

Only then did Pei Tingsong discover that he was still holding onto his wrist, and his naturally vile instincts took over again as he stated, “I won’t.”

In the midst of this standoff, they heard Cheng Qiang’s voice calling out from outside, “Juexia? Xiao Pei? Weird…”

“Qiang Ge told you.” Fang Juexia quickly understood the whole story. 

He just saw the other side shrug, then non-committedly say, “Who cares who told me, anyway, if things had continued to develop, sooner or later, the whole company would know.”

“So what if they knew?”

Looking at this fearless appearance of his, Pei Tingsong felt it was funny. “That’s true, it’s not like it’s the first time. Then why did you refuse this time? Anyway, previously you…”

At that very instant, Cheng Qiang saw the two people inside the conference room through the glass door. He opened the door and said, “What are you two doing? I had to go around in a whole circle before I found you guys.”

Fang Juexia pulled his hand away quietly and looked down at his wrist, which had turned red from the strength of Pei Tingsong’s grip. Pei Tingsong looked completely relaxed as he got down from the table. “Nothing, just cultivating feelings in advance.”

“Come on, you haven’t managed to cultivate any feelings even after two years, you phonies.” Cheng Qiang kept an eye out for the expressions on Juexia’s face and specially asked, “What’s the matter?”

“I took care of that matter.” Pei Tingsong took the lead in saying, “I’ll also tell my Jie that if Yang Chenggang misbehaves again, then she should directly withdraw her investment. With his character, we’re just waiting for him to be exposed and for the program to be boycotted, and by then her money would really have been squandered away.”

Cheng Qiang nodded. The reason why he had been willing to tell Pei Tingsong about this matter was because he had long been aware of the issues between him and this assistant director from before. He knew that with Pei Tingsong’s character of not even being able to bear a speck of dirt in his eye, he would definitely take action. 

“Then you have to really thank Xiao Pei.” He placed his hand on Fang Juexia’s shoulder and steered them towards the conference room where the meeting was being held, but Fang Juexia just stiffened up before agreeing in a low voice.

Pei Tingsong walked behind them and looked at Fang Juexia’s back. Humans were a complex mass of contradictions—a fact he knew well. Yet, Fang Juexia was probably the strangest contradiction he had seen. There was a natural coldness to his appearance, which gave the impression that he kept people at arm’s length at any and all times, and yet such a person was deeply involved in rumors of that sort. 

But now, looking at his current countenance of preferring death before dishonor, Pei Tingsong became really curious.

It couldn’t be post-traumatic stress?

Although Pei Tingsong looked down upon people who sold their bodies to get to their positions, he had a natural affection for people with high professional ability, and Fang Juexia was such a person. His dancing ability was absolutely top notch in the entire circle, not to mention that he had been born with a good voice that had a hoarse timbre to it. After working together for two years, Pei Tingsong’s aversion to him had gradually decreased little by little, dropping from the peak it had been at when he had first heard the rumors, and currently, he almost couldn’t feel anymore of it.

Besides not being disgusted anymore, he had also become a little curious, because the contradictions that were present in Fang Juexia’s personality and behaviour were too special.

The second half of the meeting flowed by very quickly. Pei Tingsong was absent-minded for most of it and even forgot about the purpose he came here for here—to oppose their plan to make them form a CP. After a while, the door of the conference room opened, and the four other members of their group entered one by one.

The boss motioned for everyone to sit down and told the assistant to distribute the new plan. “Ever since Kaleido debuted, you guys have only released two albums, and the most recent one was the mini-album from a year ago. In fact, you should have made a come-back a long time ago, and you guys have all probably been pretty anxious this whole while.”

Chen Zhengyun glanced over each group member and said, “We discussed it in the meeting we had just now. In order to make the most of your recent popularity, the company has decided to launch the production and distribution of a new album as soon as possible.”

Group leader Jiang Miao brought up a question. “But it takes time to make an album…”

“That’s right.” Chen Zhengyun said, “We can’t compress the production time and release a crudely-made album to fool the fans just because you guys got a bit more popular. You guys are idols, and singing and dancing are your bounden duties, so at least in these aspects, we can’t let anyone down. Therefore, in order to balance the production quality and time, we need to maintain your popularity in another way. Ziyan, Jiang Miao, you guys have variety show resources, Lu Yuan is still filming a dance program as well, Ling Yi has an OST, and Juexia is also filming…”

Cheng Qiang cut him off. “Juexia’s program is gone.”

Chen Zhengyun’s face showed some suspicion, but he didn’t delve into the topic. He continued, “To reiterate, in short, we are still engaged in talks about acquiring other possible prospects. If these talks go well, we can get a spot as a drop-in guest for you guys on some of the popular variety shows.” With that, he motioned to his assistant to distribute the other documents related to the plan. 

Ling Yi took the plan, flipped through its pages, and said in surprise, “There’s even an ensemble show featuring only us?”

“This time, we will mainly film everyone’s day-to-day real life, and may add some entertainment sections afterwards to break it up a bit and not make it too monotonous.” Cheng Qiang carefully explained the details of the plan for the ensemble show to everyone, “The format will likely consist of filming and livestreaming at the same time, and we may intersperse some livestream clips in the middle too to save time on filming.”

Before the end of the meeting, Chen Zhengyun stood up. “You are all children possessing good abilities. Over the past two years, all of you should have realised how cruel this circle can be. I don’t need to say anything else, everyone already knows the score.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing you all as shining idols.”

When Fang Juexia heard this sentence, he fell into a reverie and felt as though he was back to the start. It seemed as though that stage he had longed for back then had once again drawn near him, even though it had approached him in this absurd way.

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Right after the meeting finished, these six people stayed behind at the company to practice for the new album.

Today’s entertainment industry offered idols a lot of opportunities, but they were not all specifically related to the career of an ‘idol’ itself. What was embarrassing was that most of these young people entered the circle with the dream of singing and dancing on a stage, but eventually ended up doing various other jobs for a variety of reasons. By carrying the title of ‘idol’, many of them suffered from all kinds of prejudices and couldn’t get the kind of stage an idol should have. 

Music and dance gradually got further and further away from them, as they busied and tired themselves out by rushing between large and small performance venues, and then burning through countless all-nighters in largely identical recording studios, until they forgot their original intentions. Finally, they would be hastily judged as being “insatiably greedy” or “trying to do something beyond their ability,” and would then disappear under the new wave of beauty that entered the circle. 

The chaos that came with being in this artiste profession caused too many fresh lives to be passively ground into residue under the gears of the entertainment circle, which was like a large and perpetually-moving machine. This would happen day after day, and there would always be more fresh and beautiful victims who would be lured into its jaws. 

“The intensity of Juexia’s dance practice is too high today.” Ling Yi panted for breath while leaning against the wall, and unscrewed his malva nut thermos to drink some water. “No way, I didn’t warm up my voice properly today, cough, cough.” He started to goof off, speaking in a hoarse voice while stretching out his own hand, “Huohuo, my throat, what’s wrong with my throat? I will never be favored again…”

He Ziyan, who was helping group leader Jiang Miao hold down his feet while he was doing sit-ups, spared a hand to cover his own mouth as he laughed. “Enter the cold palace ba, Concubine Ling. Your physical strength is too poor for you to be favored.”

“That’s not it, look, even Yuan Ge can’t keep up with him! Both of them are our main dancers, so we can compare them ba.” Ling Yi used his arm to turn Pei Tingsong around a bit. “Right ba, Xiao Pei.”

“En.” Pei Tingsong, with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his hoodie, replied perfunctorily as he gazed at Fang Juexia, who was in front of the mirror, from a distance.

He felt that as though this person was completely filled with energy that he had been holding back for a long time. 

That kind of feeling couldn’t be described; clearly, in terms of popular aesthetics, this person’s appearance could pretty much be described as fragile and soft. However, he felt that Fang Juexia was much rather like a thorn. 

A stubborn thorn that never softened.

This was already the second time that the man in front of him had found himself drowned up to his chin in the quagmire of hidden rules. Even if that first instance could be somewhat regarded as just a rumour, Pei Tingsong had personally witnessed the unsuccessful transaction that the most recent instance had ended up being. 

What was it that these people were coveting so much? His beauty? His youth?

Seriously, he didn’t understand.

Pei Tingsong had never been in love before. It wasn’t that he was too young to be interested in these kinds of feelings, it was just that he wasn’t interested in dating. He felt that it would be a waste whenever he imagined his heart being caught up in such sticky and trivial thoughts. These kinds of things like feelings— when it was going good, it could send people up into the heavens, and when it was going bad, even going to hell would be a better option. 

But they probably didn’t want to date Fang Juexia ba. These middle-aged men all had families; they just wanted to sample something fresh and then leave. 

The thought of that sort of physical lust felt even more absurd; he had a very hard time imagining what it felt like to have any ideas towards a man’s body. Although he grew up abroad, had all kinds of friends around him, and supported minority groups, he wasn’t gay. He couldn’t understand this kind of craving. 

Two of his blind spots had been poked at in one go. However, Pei Tingsong’s way of thinking was different from others. Above all else, he couldn’t tolerate ambiguity and had to deeply consider any matter involving it. 

He tried to find the answer from Fang Juexia’s body.

“Holy crap, Fang Juexia is crazy. How long has he been practicing for by now? Daddy is tired to death, in the future, I’m not going to practice dancing alongside crazy training demons anymore,” Lu Yuan also came back, bent over and gasping as he wheezed out these words. 

Jiang Miao finished his last sit-up with a smile and said, “Ah, my stomach is so sore…”

“Let’s go, let’s eat, I’m so hungry~” Ling Yi dragged Jiang Miao up. “Captain, I want to eat!”

“That’s true, it’s time.” Jiang Miao looked at his watch and then called out to Juexia from afar. Only then did the Fang Juexia being reflected in the mirror stop, and he gasped out, “I’ll come later.”

“Alright ba.” Everyone knew what his personality was like. When it came to training, this guy would become the most intense person in the whole company; no one could stop him. Ling Yi pulled at Pei Tingsong. “Let’s go Xiao Pei, today, Ge will take you down to the countryside to eat at the company canteen, using my card!”

Who would have known that Pei Tingsong would take this moment to deviate from his normal behavior by saying, “Yi Ge, you guys go first ba, I’ll practice for a bit.”

These several people froze right on the spot. 

No, this guy who usually treated his job of being an idol as a hobby, had undergone a personality change?

Jiang Miao could take a hint and smiled. “Then we’ll go first. Don’t practice for too long and delay eating dinner.”

Ling Yi was still worried even after they all reached the canteen. “The two of them won’t start fighting ba.”

“This fight has been waiting to happen for a long, long time.” The expression on He Ziyan’s face, that of a Bodhisattva having opened his third eye to predict the future, really clashed with his short eyebrows. 

Lu Yuan took the opportunity to cut a piece from the sirloin steak on his plate and stuff it into his mouth. “You have to say though, I seem to have been brainwashed by those girls online. When I look at the two of them now, they seem like an old couple.”

Ling Yi used his chopsticks to hold a very thickly cut portion of shredded potato, and held it in such a manner that he looked like a big boss who was smoking as he spoke, “Xiao Fang, and this Xiao Pei ah, every single day, they always seem like they could start fighting in the very next second. Do you think all these little girls will cultivate the two of them as a CP after seeing what they’re really like?”

“They will.” He Ziyan calmly used his chopsticks to slap Lu Yuan’s evil hand away, which had stretched forward for a second time. 

“Why?” Ling Yi blinked.

“Eat ba.” Jiang Miao’s facial expression clearly conveyed that he had seen through things but was too polite to explain it. “They won’t fight.”

There were only two people left in the practice room, and Fang Juexia soon stopped practicing dancing. Habits learned over the course of two years already caused him to naturally take the initiative in trying to turn away from Pei Tingsong whenever he faced him, in order to avoid creating any trouble. He pushed his sweaty hair back, revealing his bright and clean forehead, and got ready to leave.

Seeing the other party’s naturally red birthmark, Pei Tingsong suddenly remembered the moment he had seen him for the first time.

As an airborne trainee, he had been led by Cheng Qiang to meet his future group members. This meeting had taken place in a training room, and it had happened in winter. When the door had opened, several boys could be seen practicing the dance for their debut. Upon hearing movement, everyone had turned their heads. Only one guy, in a black baseball cap, had still been practicing while facing the mirror, and did so right up to the moment Cheng Qiang opened his mouth.

He had then stopped, and breathing silently, had turned around, very much like the way he did just now. Sweat had trickled down the lines of his jaw, just like how a drop of water melts off an icicle hanging at the edge of a roof.

The last person to introduce himself was, of course, him.

Fang Juexia, who had only been 20 years old at that time, had taken off his hat and pushed his sweaty hair back, exactly the way he had done just now, thus revealing his whole face. The slender and long light red birthmark on his pale skin had brought forth an abstract image in the sea of his mind. 

Cherry blossoms scattering and billowing across snow—This was the most appropriate image he had found to describe it.

“Hello, my name is Fang Juexia.”

[ Even though the rain doesn’t know summer has left, the sun was clear and summer was deep. ]

Obviously, his name pertained to summer, but his whole body carried the coldness of winter. 

He had nodded and smiled back. “Pei Tingsong.”

At that time, Ling Yi, who was a naturally friendly person, had asked curiously, “What a special name! How did your parents come up with it?”

“I was born on New Year’s Eve. ‘A pot of fire roars with the bamboo, staying up to feast and listen to the pepper wine being poured.’ My grandfather named me using two words from that poem.”

“Wow, it sounds really good, but you don’t look like a child who was born in the winter.”

Really. 

Pei Tingsong’s gaze, which had been blurred by his memories, gradually returned to reality, and he noticed himself fixedly staring at Fang Juexia through the mirror.

His unceasing gaze fell on the half-rolled up sleeves of Fang Juexia’s hoodie, where his exposed arms looked pale and wiry. The blood vessels and muscles in his arm could be seen moving faintly. Since he had worked up a sweat, his originally loose clothing was now unconsciously sticking to his body, swaying with his movements. Pei Tingsong’s gaze wandered down to see the hollows on the sides of his ankles and heels being hugged tightly by the hems of his pants, which also scraped against his snow-white skin.

At the sight of this, for some reason, Pei Tingsong recalled the feel of the moment when he had held onto Fang Juexia’s wrist tightly. 

“What are you looking at?” Fang Juexia noticed the direction of his gaze through the mirror, turned around, and looked at him coldly.

Releasing the hand that he had subconsciously clenched, Pei Tingsong’s lips lazily curved up, and he looked straight at his face.

“Trying to see exactly how you’re attractive.”

—

The author has something to say:

The names of the two people are from:

Pei Tingsong: ‘A pot of fire roars with the bamboo, staying up to feast and listen to the pepper wine being poured.’——”New Year’s Eve” (Dai Fugu of the Song Dynasty)

Fang Juexia: ‘Even though the rain doesn’t know summer has left, the sun was clear and summer was deep.’ ——”Xi Qing” (Fan Changda of the Song Dynasty)

In fact, these two poems are quite in line with their respective personalities. 

[If you can’t get used to Fang Juexia’s character in the beginning, please directly abandon this story. Don’t scold him as being a weak bun or say that he might as well just clean himself up and send himself in to be cursed out or something, it’s very unpleasant to hear. Fang Juexia is definitely not a weak bun character. He is a very strong and rational and brave person. Please don’t use the ideas you’ve formed from just three chapters to maliciously speculate about him. 

At this time, the relationship between the gong and shou is very bad, so there’s no need to scold him for disrespect. The writing made it clear that they had a bad relationship from the start, and the shou also hasn’t taken care of the gong. If you guys lived with someone you had a bad relationship with, you probably wouldn’t be very affectionate with them either. If you can’t accept this, then you can abandon this story. 

And finally, explaining the question many people have asked, “Why not make a recording?” Do you really think that a little idol recording something can change the fact of him being bullied by those with capital and family background? Can he really revolt? After sending out the recording, who do you think will be the one bearing the consequences, won’t it be him and his group members? They already didn’t have any backstage connections or capital, and after this, won’t they now get frozen out by national TV and capital resources?

This article starts with an unpopular group and an unpopular idol, who will crawl up step-by-step. If you don’t like this, you really can abandon this story, don’t force yourself to continue reading.]

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