Chapter 15: Chapter 14:To Confront A Dark Past You Need Someone Who Also Have A Dark Past (Haruka Mishitsu PoV)

The class ended and it's now time to proceed to the destination.When I'm about to leave the school,I spotted Harakiri-kun together with his bike.

Since I will just walk towards the playground,I will be late for a bit.Anyways,after some time,I finallu arrived at the meeting place and there,I saw someone sitting in the bench.

"Just like expected,you will show up."

Well if he doesn't show up here,I will just force him to agree to accept my request in anyway.But since he said yesterday that my desperation makes him to think about it a little bit longer,I'm already sure he will show up.

Anyways,he urge me to sit in the bench beside him.But I think he was misunderstood something.

"Idiot.We will gonna talk about it in my house."

As expected,he was surprised.And although we argued to each other for a bit,I ended up persuading him.

I rode again to his bike just like yesterday.After a while,we finally arrived to my house.

I asked him to sit in the sofa from the living room and wait for me to changed my clothes.

I went to the second floor and wear my camisole and velvet shorts.Although I have these kind of outfit on my drawer,this was the first time I wore.

Because today is a special day.And it has something to do with my plan.

After that,I went to the kitchen to prepare the food.I get the box of cookies and out then in a plate.I also get a 1.5 bottle of coke from the refrigator.

And put the aphrosidiac powder on it.

I went to the living room to present it to Harakiri-kun.Then we started talk about the basic details of the my request or should I say,the murder mystery.

I looked to him.He just silently listening to me.But I can tell that he was kinda nervous.I also noticed his some glances to me.

He also asked me if I can turn on the aircon since it was somehow.I told him it was broken although that was not really the case.

Anyways,after telling to him the details and took some cookies and a couple of cups of coke,he asked me if he can check the crime scene I mean,the bedroom.

I agreed to it so we went to the second floor.I have two bedrooms in this house.One from me and another one for Hina.

But this is what I'm expecting to happen.Really,all my plans was going smoothly with this man.He was really an idiot.

We we already inside the bedroom,he look around to check some things.Then after a while,he sat on the bedroom,with his right hand on his forehead.

Then he asked me to get some water.But before he even finished that statement,I started stripping my clothes except for my panty and bra.

Then I went towards to Harakiri-kun and push him to the bed.Then I begun unbuttning his polo.I looked to his face.It was all red right now and his breathing heavily.

"It seems like the....aphrodisiac medicine.....already taking its effect..." I said.

As soon as he hears that,it seem like he immediately understand my true intentions.My intention of seducing him again.

Then we talked to each for a bit.I asked if he already have his first kiss to someone.At first,he answered me a joke but he eventually admitted that he haven't.

"How about you,Mishitsu-san?.Did you already....kissed someone before?."

I was a bit shocked when he asked me back that question.But I just ignored it.It's not important.

Afterall,my first kiss was already taken by someone a long time ago.Forcely.

Going back,I thought I got carried to his words yesterday.But I realized that I'm just in a wrong place to seduce him so I changed my plans.

So I prepared a more comfortable place,which is my house.No one will bother us here.I living alone afterall.My parents will not come.

This time,I'm sure he will not be able to resist his temptation.An almost naked girl on top him,with the effect of aphrosidiac powder and my erotic conversation,it was not impossible for him to make a move on me.

And that's what I need to prove that what Mom said is wrong.

I want to show that Harakiri-kun is just like most men out there,who will lust to woman's body.

Or so I thought.

When I put my hands,who have been shaking tremendously for a while,in his shoulder and about to kiss him,he stopped me.

Again.

"You really disappointed me,Mishitsu-san."

I stopped on moving.Then he proceed on talking.He was concerned again about the fact that my body is shaking again

Then he lecture me.I heard again the words he said to me yesterday.But this time,he sounds angry.

He really was disppointed.

But I was tired of hearing those words again.

"Those weak people who are acting to be strong.I really don't like them.No,I hate them."

That line from him made me to reach my limit.

"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!!."

I got irritated and said those to him very loud.I gripped both of his hands tightly.As expected,he was surprised since this was the first time I showed this side of mine to others.

I said that he was not parent so why would he need to lecture me.Even though I don't have the right to say that.

I insult him in many different ways.Even though I don't have the right to say that.

I said bad things to him.Even though I don't have the right to say that.I hurt his feelings.Even though I don't have the right to do that.

I acted childish and immature.

I'm really stupid.I got angry for no reason.

"EVEN SOME ARE CHEATING JUST TO FUCK ANOTHER GIRL WHO IS CUTER AND MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN THEIR GIRLFRIENDS!!.WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND IT AND ACCEPT THAT FACT!!!?."

Just when after telling him the last words I want to say to him,that was also the time when he showed a different expresion.

He opened his eyes widely as if he realized something.I thought that he finally understand now my nonsense rumble here so I asked him.But it was different.

He began speaking again after a while of being silent.Then I heard the words.The he really got lust to my body.That he really want to fuck me.

Even though I got nervous about that.But that was the words I'm expecting for him to say.That's why I urge him again to fuck me already.

Prove to me that Mom is wrong.

But then again,his words left me again in shock.

"If that's what you really want me to do,then I'm sorry.I will not be able to do that.Or should I say,I cannot do that."

What's up with that response?.

I couldn't understand it.

For the one last time,I tried to become forceful.I get his arm to and tried to touch it to my breast.But he strongly removed my grip from it.

With that,I gave up.

At the end,I just put my head to his chest and didn't talk.

After a period of time,he said he will go home now.He carefully lifted me from my position and let me to sit in the bed.

Then before he left,I think he talk to me more although I can barely know what he is saying. to me because I was so confused right now.

I just turned my head down,not looking at him.I don't want to show my face to him right now.

He get and put my clothes besides me.I think he was asking me to wear them.

At the end,I didn't talk to him.I just stayed on my current position.

But there these words he said to me that made me to react.

"Farewell,my artist."

I turned my head up.He was not there anymore.

"I'm not even your artist."

"You didn't even ask to draw a cover photo for your work."

I want to say those words to him but before I knew it,he already left the scene.

After he left,instead wearing my clothes back,I laid to my bed sideways and get a pillow to hug it.I hug it very tightly.

I was so confused right now.My thoughts was all jumbled.

The only thing I could remember is my selfish plan,his farewell and his worried face he showed to me.

That face.As if he just remembered a past.

A past?.Does he also have a dark past like me?.I don't know.I'm not sure.

I remembered again Mom's words.

"Not all men is like the person that hurt you,Haruka.There at least one out there,who doesn't think that way towards a girl.And I hope you meet that man."

Then I started reminiscing a specific memory.

"I'm scared!.I'm so scared!.I-i don't know wh-what will I do that time.I trusted him so much.Why he-"

I stopped there as my body began to shake again.

This is not good.Even though it was already almost two years have passed,that moment was still hunting.

I tried to calm down myself.I breath in and out few times.Then I started again reminiscing a memory again.

Specifically,it was when weeks was already passed since that incident happened.I went to my bed on laid on it.I tried to fall a sleep but I couldn't it because the incident was flashing to my mind that time.

After a while of being awake,someone tapped my shoulder.I got suprised a bit.

"Don't worry,it's your mother."

When I turned my body around,it was really Mom.

"You couldn't sleep again?."

"No,not really." 

"But your body is shaking immensely."

"So your watching me again."

"I just worried to my daughter."

I turned back my body away from her.But I know that this will not do anything.

"You want to sleep again together,Haruka?."

I didn't answer.On the other hand,Mom laid to my bed.It was a two-man bed so there's no need to worry about the space.

I turned around my body to her and spoke up.

"Didn't I tell you that you don-"

Before I even finish my sentence,Mom suddenly hugged me.Then he started patting my head like a small child.

I didn't stopped her for doing that.As this was the only way to calm me down.

After some minutes,she started singing a lullaby.It was very soothing.Maybe because she has a good voice.After a while,my body eventually stopped shaking.

"You really don't have to sung a lullaby for me,Mom.I'm not a child anymore."

"Haruka doesn't stop shaking even while patti g her head.So I have no choice but to sing one." she said while continuing patting head.

I couldn't reply back.She was right.She know it.And I know it very well.Then ater some minutes,Mom spoke up.

"Are you really okay to live alone?."

"Don't worry,I can handle myself."

"If you want to,I can live with you in the hou-"

"I said I will be fine,Mom!." I shouted.

I opened my eyes.It happened again.And just like as expected,she didn't got mad at me.She just continue patting my head like nothing happen.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"Don't worry.But I just want to confirm something,Haruka."

She paused a bit then continue.

"I'm actually don't mind doing this to you until you recover from your trauma.But you must know that this will not be the case anymore next year right?."

"I know."

After answering her,Mom hugged me tightly compared before.But this time,she stopped stroking my head.Then after a minute of silence,she spoke up.

"I know that this will not be an easy path for you,Haruka.But I hope that one day,you will find someone who will cherish and help you to overcame your past."

"I can do it to myself."

"You need someone,Haruka."

"Then I can just have you or Dad."

"What I mean is the same age as you,Haruka."

"If you want me to make a friend in the school I'm transferring then I think I could do that."

"Could you become friends....to a boy?."

I opened my eyes widely.Mom must already know this kind of reaction of mine.

"I know that I'm idiot for this." she continue "but I hope that you could find that kind of man I'm talking about."

"Are you desperately asking your own daughter to have a boyfriend quickly?."

I asked jokingly but it seems like Mom didn't took it that way as she answered me in a serious tone.

"If having a good boyfriend who will never betray you then I don't mind it."

"Mom..."

"If having one who will help you to overcome your past then I don't mind."

"....."

"If having one who is willing to pat your head and sing a lullaby if that incident started hunting you then I don't mind."

"..."

"And if having one who will change the way how you view men then I don't mind."

"....."

The reminiscing ended there as I opened my eyes.Well there's nothing special happened there after that conversation as we just went to sell that time.

I stopped hugging my pillow and starred at the ceiling.I put my right hand to my forehead and think again some things.

Will Harakiri-kun never do that thing to me?

Can I assure that?.

Is Harakiri-kun someone I could trust?.

Is he really different from others?.

"Is Harakiri-kun the one you are talking about,Mom?."

At the end,that was the only conclusion I came up.

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