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"Where the bloody fucking Hell is Kiritsugu anyways?" I asked loudly, eyes searching for traces of the retired Magus Killer. He was nowhere to be seen, and even with my acute, Supernatural senses, I couldn't feel him on the property at all. "Dad has gone on a business trip to Germany–"
Ah, so he left to rescue his daughter. While I was angry at him for teaching Shiro half-baked Magecraft, then leaving her to her lonesome in this shitty residence, I couldn't fault the man for trying to save his daughter from her miserable fate… Perhaps I could help him once he had returned? But, not before drowning him hours of lecture about the fatal dangers he put Shiro in, of course. Rationally, I knew she would be fine, seeing as she had Avalon to keep healthy. Still, converting your nerves into Pseudo-Circuits was possibly the most painful thing ever.
"He told me to 'hold the fort' and keep practicing Magecraft while he is gone, he even said he would check on my progress when he is back." Shiro looked up at me excitedly, seeming to have completely forgotten her pain. "Magic is real, Leo! Dad said if I get good at it, I can do lots of good in the World, I can be a Hero! I can pay back the kindness you and dad have shown me!"
'Or become Alaya's bitch…' I muttered internally, face grim as I peered at the girl, who was practically radiating sparks of joy. It's as if the mere idea of being able to help others seemed to give her the meaning of Life. It would be a terrible shame to see that glimmer snuffed out as the sheer weight of her ideal slowly, gradually grinded and crushed her innocence to pieces and bits to be scattered to the winds. Nasuverse was not a place for Heroes; especially the selfless, idealistic ones who were often the most tragic.
Of all those that ascended the Throne, few could say they had lived a fulfilling and happy life.
Shiro– Or rather, Counter Guardian Emiya wouldn't be amongst those few.
Their afterlife was literally an eternity of service to the psychopathic Collective Consciousness Of Mankind.
Suddenly, Shiro tensed in my arms. "He- Uhmm- He also said I can't tell others under any circumstance, else they will be endangered by the knowledge, since most Mages aren't good people and they don't want the mundane to be aware of the Moonlit World…" The wannabe Hero stared apologetically at me, amber eyes flashing with pity, fear and sadness. All aimed at myself. "Sorry, Leo. I- I shouldn't have told you, I didn't mean to–?!"
Her jaws went slacked as [Finn Cannon] manifested, hovering over my palm, shining, pulsing with reddish black energy. It was like a condensed, demonic flame given life by my Mana, and trust me when I said it looked as cool as you would imagine it to be. "Bold of you to assume I'm just a normal human, Shiro-chan–" I chuckled at her dumbfounded expression, playing with the Spell fondly. Then, I shot the [Finn Cannon] at the ground, smirking as it tore through the air and detonated, tearing up dirt and rocks in the process.
The best part was: It wasn't even the strongest [Finn Cannon] I could pull up.
Not even close. After all, with [Finn Cannon] at Veteran Rank: Level 24, almost 25; I could probably demolish entire buildings with a few well-aimed shots, bend steel beams and shatter diamonds. In comparison to that, this little bit of dirt was nothing. I laughed, patting the confused girl's head and spoke in a teasing voice. "How was that, Shiro-chan? Do you still think I'm just an ordinary Joe?" Gotta admit, it felt immensely satisfying to show off in front of the future 'Hero Of Justice'… Even if she was still a child.
"Y- You are a Magus, Leo?" She didn't appear scared in any capacity, more like thrilled to know her personal Hero was a Magus too. I could practically see the stars in her eyes and smell the elation rolling off her small, vibrating form in waves. "Yes Shiro, I'm a Magus, a decently good one at that too. And, as the more talented of us, not to mention your senpai in all things Magecraft, I'm ordering you to cease converting your nerves into Pseudo-Circuit, effective immediately."
I poked her on the cheek as her enthusiasm vanished into thin air, replaced by confusion and, if my sight hadn't failed me, slight anger. "But, I want to–" Again, I shushed her, rolling my eyes. "I'm not telling you to abandon Magecraft altogether, just that you can't convert your nerves into Circuits anymore. Blind, deaf or mute, you will still be able to become a Hero, but you can't help anyone if you are paralyzed or brain-dead, Shiro. Which, is what would happen to you if you kept practicing Magecraft as you have…"
I paused to let the information sink in, then continued with my explanation under her flabbergasted, wide-eyed stare. "We Mages have a Spiritual organ called Magic Circuits, it's what everyone, and I do mean everyone–" I touched my own chest to emphasize. I lied by the way, I didn't even know if I actually had Magic Circuits or not. The Ritual Kotomine performed was able to determine both my Origin and Affinities, but not the amount of Circuits for whatever reason. Not that not knowing really bothered me.
After all, I already knew what was responsible for the weird state my body was in…
I had always assumed the Game acted as a medium for me to channel Mana or something. 'Hmmm… I'll have to look into it later.'
I swiftly shifted my attention to the girl in my arms. "– Uses. It's the only safe way to manipulate and channel Mana. What you–" I stressed. "Are doing is the bastardized version that no Magus would ever even consider. The mere fact that you are alive and not a bloody paralyzed, drooling waste of a person is already an unprecedented miracle in and of itself. Don't ever do it again, understood?"
Shiro hesitantly agreed, bobbing her head pitifully. Still, in spite of her appearance, I could tell she was only agreeing to make me feel better. I had no doubt she would go right back to converting her nerves the second I went out of sight, which was why I decided to teach her first, before hauling her to Gil. "That doesn't mean you have to stop practicing Magecraft entirely, I will help you awaken your dormant Magic Circuits–" Her eyes shone brightly, their amber color seeming to have been set ablaze. "But, in return you must swear you won't ever try to convert your nerves again."
I peered into those flaming, amber-colored orbs, awaiting her reply as I gently set her down on the porch. "Well, do we have a deal, Shiro-chan?" I paused, feeling the need to add while the girl sank into deep thoughts. Usually, this would have been a no-brainer for anyone else. Unfortunately, Shiro Emiya was both willful AND legally blind when it came to Magecraft. "Regardless of your answer, I'm still going to make sure you won't be able to do such a profoundly stupid thing like that in the future, even if it means hypnotizing you."
I tapped my feet, blowing at my nails, seemingly almost nonchalant to the dilemma; which when voiced out loud, really wasn't that hard a choice; that the young, aspiring tiny Hero Of Justice was contemplating. "So, choose carefully, Little Ember."
Shiro lifted her face puzzlingly, head titling in confusion as she repeated under her breaths. "Little Ember?" My cheeks were tinted red and I coughed loudly to hide my embarrassment. "What? I give pet names to all my juniors, you have a problem with that?!" That was a big, fat lie. I had no kouhai that I knew of, I hadn't met Sakura so she didn't count. But, Shiro didn't know that, and she didn't need to. In fact, nobody needed to know about this… Ever. "Forget it. If you don't like it, I won't call you that anymore."
She rapidly shook her head. "No, no. I- I kind of like it?" She chewed on her lips, face ablaze. "I just- I don't understand… You hate me, hate my dream. Why are you being so nice?" She fiddled with her hands, then looked me square in the eyes. "Why are you doing this, why are you helping me?"
I didn't reply for the longest time, letting a comfortable silence blanket over us. "I don't hate you, Shiro. I hate that you have set yourself on a hopeless path." I gestured at the space around us. "This, this World isn't kind. It's cruel, especially to Heroes. If you choose this, you will have effectively doomed yourself to a fate worse than death…" Visions of a certain Counter Guardian and the sky that seemed choked with regrets and the ashes of their shared dream suddenly flashed through my mind.
"I had hoped I could discourage you from the path you are walking–" I chuckled, self-deprecation plain on my expression. "But I understand that is a futile endeavor, mere wishful thinking on my part."
I turned towards the girl, plastered with a confident grin. "Someone once said: 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em'. If I can't alter your trajectory, I will have to ensure your END is better than those other Heroes." I tapped teasingly on her forehead, watching in amusement as she held the spot tearfully. Odd, I didn't remember tapping that hard. "Nasu is full of intelligent people already. I s'pose having a tiny, teeny bit of stupidity is fine, don't you agree Ember-chan?" In any case, Nasuverse was in a desperate need of a Hero with its roster of psychos.
Now, I wasn't nearly selfless enough to take that responsibility upon myself. But, I didn't mind training one. "Besides, I will have an easier time reigning you in like this should the need arise." I mumbled under my breath. By putting myself in a position to teach and direct Shiro, I could potentially mitigate the damages done to her psyche, thus granting me the precious chance to possibly save her life in the distant future. Hell, if I did this right and became someone she trusted fully, it wouldn't be too hard to steer her clear of dangers.
Sorta like how the relationship between Alfred and Bruce Wayne worked. I'd name another dynamic duo, but those two were the only ones that came to mind. "So, what do you say, Little Ember?" Shiro titled her head, the spiky bob-cut that framed her face, pushed by the winds, fluttered playfully as the corners of her lips turned upwards to form an absolutely adorable smile, her hand reaching for mine, presumably for a handshake as she spoke. "I know I'm not the best Magus there is, but please guide me, Leo-senpai."
Oh-God, she was like a puppy. A disheveled, unkempt, yet somehow still joyful ginger puppy with a multitude of undersurface psychological issues including, but not limited to: Hero-Complex, PTSD and Survivor's Guilt,…etc. "Let's do it then, and to put money where my mouth is, I'm gonna help you awaken your Circuits right now. So chop-chop–!" I clapped my hands, gesturing for her to turn around. "Pull up your shirt and show me your back."
I was going to do the same thing Archer did to help Shirou in UBW. Normally, Circuits-Awakening involved a very complicated Ritual, often requiring days, weeks, if not months of preparation simply to lower the risks for the participant. Fortunately, Avalon constantly healing her from the inside meant I could just brute-force it, instead of having to perform that extremely elaborate Ritual, which required all kinds of precious resources and would have bankrupted the current me with my net-worth. Besides, it's not like Shiro wasn't used to the pain already.
In spite of her visible embarrassment, Shiro followed my instruction to a tee, albeit hesitantly. She pulled up her iconic white and blue-sleeved shirt, showing me her bruised back. Okay, I had no idea what this was about… A consequence of recklessly converting her nerves to Magic Circuits maybe? It looked, for all intents and purposes, near identical to a Lichtenberg figure. Luckily, it'd appear Avalon was doing tis job, slowly lessening the destruction her thoughtlessness had caused to her own nervous system.
"Holy fucking Hell...!" I traced the tip of my index finger along the injury. I had never seen such damages before. Yes, I had been victim to a variety of injuries and wounds, but none was quite like this. It was as though her blood vessels had burst open from the inside, yet somehow not breaking her skin at all. I was genuinely surprised she even managed to make her way to the door. I'd be flopping and convulsing on the floor like a fish, that or paralyzed from the neck down. "Avalon is such a cheat."
"What's wrong, Leo-senpai?" I quickly shook my head, speaking in a low tone. "Right, I'll use my own Mana to jolt your Circuits, and it is going to be quite painful. Not as much as converting your nerves into useable Pseudo-Circuits, but it is up there…"
I looked her in the eyes, those amber orbs were trembling with fear that was soon washed away by her determination. No, no; I was wrong. Determination wasn't the correct term to describe it, more like a lack of any and every emotion that logically should be present in a person, be them ordinary people or Mages. Then I understood, I wasn't looking at Shiro Emiya– The girl whom I had saved in Fuyuki's greatest tragedy, but a Blade forged of blood, flesh and bones.
A Blade tempered by Curses and Evils none should be made to witness or experience. "Alright, prepare yourself Little Ember. I'm starting now."
The Blade nodded, bracing itself. My Mana surged, the metaphysical Gate of [Energy Storage] snapped open and utilizing the momentum of the overflowing Mana, I basically propelled mine through Shiro's Circuits. Activating Magic Circuits with this method was not only dangerous for the awakener, but also the extremely risky for those helping them as well. Regardless of what his Parameters said, Counter Guardian Emiya was still a Servant, albeit a relatively poor one Stats-wise. His Mana was superior to mine in both quantity and quality.
It's why he could afford to help Shirou so effortlessly in UBW, but I'd need to use [Energy Storage] in order to accomplish the same feat. "ARRGH–!" Shiro groaned, falling forwards as the pain began to overwhelm even her will. "Hold on, the procedure is almost done!"
Groans turned to screams, then weak whimpers as her Magic Circuits flared to life for the very first time. 'Fucking finally…' I wiped the sweats from my brows, frowning as my [Energy Storage] went from thrice the total amount of Mana I actually had to barely a tenth. All living beings had Magic Resistance, most were simply too weak to be factored in the equation. Unfortunately, Mages were the exception since we all possessed Circuits, and thus, a ridiculously enhanced Od Pool to go along with that.
The same Od Pool which dictated how Resistance we were to Mana and external Magecraft aimed at us. Od, Magic Circuits and Magic Resistance, the three went in tandem with each other. Shiro just happened to have a surprising amount of Magic Circuits for a First-Gen, hence why the procedure drained me of all my Mana. Granted, some of those Mana seemed to have been re-purposed by Avalon to heal Shiro's injuries in the process. 'Dick move, Avalon…'
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"Well–" I laid the exhausted girl on the porch, taking a seat myself as I rested my back against the wooden column of the house, my breathing harsh and labored. Still, I managed to push out a question in concern for the girl's wellbeing. "What do you think? Feel anything yet, Little Ember?"
Shiro shook slightly, her smaller form seemed to vibrate with excitement as her Circuits lit up, which, in all fairness, was a very normal response. Mana had this odd way of making even the calmest, most rational people feel like they were invincible and filled to the brim with energy the first time their Circuits were activated. I'd know, I did experience that feeling myself after all. Reality should pull her back down that high right about… "Now." Like that, Shiro went from literally shaking with enthusiasm to completely despondent.
"You okay there?" I crawled to her motionless form, waving my hands in concern. Meanwhile, the girl who looked unresponsive moments ago started to blink. "W- What was that, Leo-senpai?"
"That, Shiro–" I pulled myself up, hammering at my spine. The column was hard, damned thing made my back all stiff. "– Was your first and last high. Don't get used to it. From this moment onwards, things will only go down, I can promise you that. You will never experience anything like it again. Magecraft, being as unnecessarily complicated, painful and dangerous as it is, will make you feel so worthless you will have forgotten about the feeling in a few short days. Hell, just look at me. I forgot it in hours."
"So, it won't happen again?" Shiro seemed nearly disappointed at that. "No. And, don't expect your journey in Magecraft to be as exciting. Half the time, it is just theory stacked on top of even more theories. I know I haven't done a good job demonstrating it, but Magecraft study can be beyond boring as it required lots of theoretical knowledge about physics, science and everything in between."
Although… "I doubt it would be an issue for you of all people."
I muttered under my breaths. Shirou Emiya– The one I was familiar with practically spent an entire decade reinforcing pipes, newspapers and fixing lightbulbs. Boredom likely wouldn't prove too much of a problem for Little Ember here also. 'Hmm… This nickname is really growing on me.' Might be a good method for me to differentiate Shiro Emiya and Shirou Emiya. While the two were essentially alternate versions of the same person, only in different genders, it would feel weird to keep thinking of Shiro as Shirou.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Shiro glared at me? Well, it had more in common with a pout, but you get the idea! "It means you are a very hard-working girl, and bullheaded too."
Don't worry, the last part wasn't actually spoken out loud. Wouldn't want to piss of our 'Heroine Of Justice', do we? "Well, what are you still waiting for? Try your Circuits out."
Shiro looked down at her hands, then at me, before scratching her head and voicing her question as she blinked innocently. "Uhmm… Leo-senpai, how do I do that exactly?" Shit! This was shaping up to be a long morning for lil' ol' me. "Haaaaa! Fuck it. Alright, so what you want to do is–"
It took us three hours to get her Circuits up and running. Only then did I kinda, sorta get why Kiritsugu made so many oversights in her education. In hindsight, it should have been obvious. No way the Magus Killer himself, retired or not, would overlook something as crucial and basic as Circuits-Awakening of all things. After teaching her the whole morning, I suddenly found myself with a new appreciation for the old Magus Killer. After all, the fact that he hadn't pulled out all his hair teaching her clearly showed an iron-tight discipline.
I frowned, rubbing my glabella tiredly. "I may have severely underestimated Shiro's lack of talent when it comes to Magecraft." I swore, Shirou wasn't nearly as horrendous in the Visual Novel or Anime… Then again, he did waste decade on the two most basic Spells: [Structural Gasp] and [Reinforcement], so maybe he was just as terrible and it simply was not shown in both forms of entertainment perhaps? "Urrgghh, I regret this already…"
——◇ [Fate: DML] ◇——
"You've come, mongrel." Gilgamesh swirled her wine glass, boredom oozing from her aura. Her expression set to a somber, impassive look as she peered at the young girl from where she sat. Then, she pointed at the chair opposite to hers, gesturing for Shiro to sit. "I had thought you wouldn't dare to come, I suppose I was mistaken… Go on, take a seat."
My made for the bed, seeing as there was nowhere else to sit, eyes darting about and taking in her entire room. She had fixed up the place nicely, evidences of our passionate night could hardly be seen even with [Structural Gasp]. The bed itself had been replaced by another, sturdier one handcrafted entirely of maple wood. How did I know the bed frame was handcrafted, you asked? Aside from the fact [Structural Gasp] allowed me to peer into the furniture's true nature, which was a magical cousin of the normal maple wood.
The details on the frame itself could only be handcrafted, not mass-produced. It was literally peak craftsmanship even to my eyes, and I had seen plenty of goods, curtesy of Gil and her Gates.
I could practically feel the love its creator had put in radiating from where I was.
It's almost like a piece of his or her Spirit had been imbued in the frame itself. "No, not you, Leonis. You wait outside, or go talk to that little girlfriend of yours. I want to talk to the little Faker alone."
Instantly, I readied to oppose her wish, but a scathing glare from Gil sent a cold-bucket pouring down my emotions. Although Gil had been perfectly cordial and friendly so far, something– My instincts seemed to scream at me that opposing her wish now would damage our relationship beyond salvation. I sighed, combing my hair back and spoke. "I know you don't like people nabbing your style, but even counterfeits, especially the better quality ones require talent to be made. Please, consider that before you do anything rash."
I didn't wait for her reply, storming away to Rin's room. Whatever, I needed to have that talk with Rin anyhow. Before exiting, I threw one last, "Play nice!", at the two, ran out and closed the door.
It didn't take more than seconds for me to reach the room where Rin was currently staying. I knocked lightly, tapping my feet as I waited for her to reply. "Go away, Fake Priest! We are not talking until you explain to me where all my inheritance is being spent!" … Okay, I wasn't touching that ever. But, seriously, what was Kotomine spending her money on? The guy barely left his dungeon and lived a pretty frugal life. "It's me, Rin! Can you open up? I want to talk."
I heard rustlings, then the door cracked open, showing Rin's blue, oceanic eyes that squinted balefully at me. "Well, you want to speak, right? Speak!" … Yikes, she was definitely not happy with me. I sighed, internally gathering my courage. 'Alright, you can do this Leo! Think of your dream, think of the beautiful future awaiting you.'
"Uhmm, can you let me in?" I said nervously, scratching my head. Rin stared for a few seconds, then made to close the door as she shouted, "No!". Swiftly, I wedged my hand into the door to stop her, grimacing slightly as sharp pain shot up my arm. The real damage it did to me was next to none, yet it did not lessen the pain whatsoever. "Leo! What are you doing? Are you stupid?!"
Rin threw open the door, pulling me in, her gaze trained on the back of my hand, which after having cushioned the door, was slowly forming a bruise and turning reddish pink. I chuckled, flexing my hand as Rin fussed over my new injury, seeming to almost blame herself, odd. She had nothing to do with it after all, I was the idiot that put my hand in a closing door, which given how effective it had been in breaking the ice between us, I'd say the injury was well worth it. "It's fine, it's fine–" I waved laughingly. "I'm fine, see?"
Rin scowled angrily. "Seriously, are you stupid? What are you even doing here? Shouldn't you be doing…" Her face lit up as though remembering the scene last night. "Doing that with Gilgamesh?!"
"I told you wanted to talk, did I not?" I laughed at her expression, poking her cheek teasingly, before pulling her in my arms and patting her head. "What's wrong? Is my little sensei jealous?"
Rin pushed me away, face again red, but this time with both embarrassment and anger. She punched my chest, though seeing as I was close to reaching a Servant's Parameters, her punches might as well be love-taps instead. "Jealous? Who is jealous of her?! Why would I even be jealous about something so, so–" She struggled to think of the correct term. "So perverse, you idiot?!"
"Alright, alright. Rin-sensei is not jealous, not at all." I pulled her closer, resting my chin on her head. "Hey Rin. Remember when I said I wanted us to go to the Clock Tower together?" Rin didn't reply verbally, but I could feel her head moving into my chest, as if trying to nod. "I- I'm sorry, but the circumstance has changed, I need to get stronger as fast as possible and I believe the Clock Tower can help with that…"
Even if my research was stalled, being in the Tower would give me plenty of opportunities to get new Quest Chains, which would allow me to Level Up quicker. "I was just wandering if you would like to go with me this summer?" I continued, hopeful that she'd agree. Sadly, I'd be disappointed. Rin only tightened her grasp on my shirt, her arms snaking behind my waist as she shook. "I can't, Leo. I still have a lot to do here–" She paused, giggling, yet her voice seemed to tremble with hurt.
"I don't even want to imagine what that priest would do to my family fortune if I wasn't here to supervise him…" As she buried her head in my chest, the shirt I was wearing began to feel uncomfortably wet and damp. "Will, will you come back?"
"Of course, I will. I can't abandon my first sensei and friend now, can I?" This time, she did start to sob. "Send me letters regularly, understood? Else I'll fly there and beat you up." In spite of the way she put it, I knew Rin was simply worried about me. As long as I continued to send letters, she would know I was safe and sound. "Good, don't you dare forget!"
——◇ [Fate: DML] ◇——
"Now that he's gone… Let's talk, Tainted Blade."
The woman's crimson gaze sent chills down Shiro's spine. She still remembered how the Spirits acted the first time they met. It was like they had encountered their natural enemy, and a monster that would make even those baleful, vengeful Spirits afraid couldn't possibly be simple. Her aura was that of a Leader, of someone whose true worth was thousand-folds more than Shiro herself, and it made her uncomfortable. It made her feel like a dull blade. "Faker? Tainted Blade? What do you mean?"
Shiro repeated confusedly, to which the woman merely chuckled, as though amused by her ignorance. "I meant you, mongrel. Your very presence pisses me off, you and your counterfeits. But, for whatever reason, my Little Lion believes you to be of importance and worth, which is why I have not cut you down where you sit. Be grateful."
Shiro frowned, glaring at the woman as if to send a message saying she was not afraid of her. "Then why do you wish to meet me?"
"Because, you insolent little mongrel, despite my rationality saying otherwise, I do believe he is right." The woman crossed her legs, leaning back. Every movement of hers contained a sort of natural arrogance that could only be born with, not learnt and suddenly, it dawned on Shiro how easy the woman could kill her right now. "Do not worry. I've made a promise to him that I will not harm you, and a Ruler's words are their weight in gold, little mongrel…" The woman rested her head on her wrist, chuckling. "Not that gold is worth anything to me anyways."
Shiro tactfully ignored that last sentence, for the sake of her own sanity. "I still dislike you, but at the same time, I can't deny my desire to see what you would become… Will you be limited by your ability; or will you, with his help, overcome your limits and grow beyond them? I'm quite curious."
"That's it? That's all I am to you? Entertainment?!" Shiro growled, the noises that escaped her mouth sounded nigh… Guttural. The air turned heavy with tension as sludge-like blackness rolled off Shiro, something even she herself didn't appear to realize. "Tainted Blade, indeed."
The woman leaned forwards, eyes lit up with recognition, then laughed. "Oh, little mongrel. Everything is entertainment to me, you are merely a bit more special than others. Now, settle down before I wipe you from existence. Although I might have promised him to leave you unharmed, that was only on the basis that you will not test my patience." Her face turned cold. "And I have allowed you to keep your life, in spite of your insolence. But, even my generosity has its limit, little mongrel."
Reluctantly, Shiro's balled up fists relaxed as the two met gazes. "You may leave now, I tire of your presence." That comment nearly sent Shiro into a rage, but she kept her mouth shut. No matter how much the woman pissed her off, Shiro understood: She couldn't beat her, not right now, even though the blonde's mere existence seemed to incite both fear and hatred in her heart. "No need to chase me out, I don't want to breath the same air as you anyways! And for the record, when you said you disliked me, the feeling is mutual."
Shiro stormed outside, slamming the door shut. The last thing she heard from the blonde was a helpless huff, "Children… What annoying little cretins."
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