Chapter 116: Chapter 114: End my suffering

[Fair Warning: It contains gruesome scenes that may not be to your liking. But I managed to tone it down. It revolves around the mc's past. Kind of dark? So, I'll advise you to skip it if you can't handle it. After this arc, it will be more light-hearted stuff to balance it out. xD]

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“Haah—Haah... Haah... Ugh—!”

I woke up breathing roughly, suffering from the intolerable, suffocating, aching pain in my chest. Tears fall from my eyes, clutching my chest agonizing in sorrow. At the same time, I could feel my head splitting—One thought surfaced in my mind, I want this suffering to end.

“Ahhh—! M-Make it, s-stop, p-please—! Ugh! Ahhh—! P-Please—!”

I fell in the bed and wailing about the pain on all fours while clenching my chest in pain. Sweats dripped down on my face. The excruciating pain started becoming unbearable, as I could feel my life flashing right before my eyes. My peripheral vision was gradually fading away into the pit of darkness once again.

“Ugh—!”

Soon after, I started vomiting on the floor. At that moment, a voice started calling me from behind.

“Tatsu—!”

Everything around me went into darkness, and my body plopped to the ground.

────── ✯ ──────

For the second time, I’m once again back in the bottomless pit of my nightmare.

It was dark. I can’t see anything. The place is shrouded in darkness, with the only source of light being either the little gap of the door and the little hole in the wall. I find myself lying on the floor. Suddenly, the door opened and saw a figure of a woman in her lingerie—It was Iwamoto Azumi, the female with heterochromatic eyes whom I made a promise to save Naoki.

“Morning~ Tatsuya, how’s my lovely Tatsuya doing~?”

“...” I feel weak and light-headed.

“Likewise~♥ I should’ve known that you’ll be fine~♥ How about we eat something, shall we?” She clapped her hands and females dressed in maid outfits emerged from the door, taking my arms then carrying me outside of the room.

Then we ended up in a spacious dining room where there’s a long table at the center. The maids put me in the chair with my hands tied up on the armrest. At that moment, I don’t have any energy to spare as I feel my entire body about to collapse from exhaustion and hunger.

I’m not in the right mind right now. I don’t even know what’s going on with me.

Following that, Azumi sat right beside me with a blissful look on her face as her smile was from ear to ear. The maid served a soup on the table. I gaze upon the soup that’s in front of me. Then I suddenly remembered Naoki and asked Azumi about her condition.

“U-Uhm... H-How’s Naoki...?”

However, instead of replying to me—Her expression darkened. “How dare you ask another woman in front of me—!” She stood up and slapped me.

“*Slap*” loud enough for the surrounding maids to turn their heads the other way, completely trying to overlook the situation.

The slap absolutely woke me up. It made me remember I was taken here as the price for saving Naoki. However, I didn’t expect this kind of behavior from this girl. After the slap, she immediately apologizes and embraced my head while caressing it.

“Oh! I’m so sorry~! I didn’t mean to! Sorry, Tatsuya... You shouldn’t have talked about her when I’m in here. Sorry, for being impulsive~ Will you forgive me~?”

She forcefully made me look into her eyes. Fear took over my body at that time. My eyes are full of tears and replied. “Y-Yes...”

“Good! And, don’t worry about your little friend she’s fine I sent my men to send her to the hospital and let her parents know her location. Aren’t I too kind?”

I gulped. “Y-Yes...”

“Hehehe~”

Then I glanced at the maids standing on the side of the room. I could see their hands trembling in fear the same as I am, looking at me with pity in their eyes. At that point, I knew I entered a forbidden paradise that will torment me for life—A Pandemonium.

“Here, try this soup~” Azumi gave a spoon of food, as I accepted it wholeheartedly for my dear life. I concluded that once I did something that’s unpleasant to her—She’ll eventually kill me. Those are what my guts are telling me. After feeding me, they tossed me back in the hellhole where I came out earlier.

And so it began, the days of torment.

Deep into the darkness, peering gazes upon the light with a sliver of hope; wondering, fearing, dreaming that someday someone would give me the hope I’ve longed for. Days have passed ever since the day where it all began. Nothing good has ever happened to me since then. I was plagued by a never-ending nightmare.

Apart from living in this hell dream, there is nothing else here. In my soul, the rapture of living had long gone. I, who had once existed in the world, had vanished.  The epiphany of my life which was once vitalized by the love and warmth of a family was long gone. There hasn't been a day that my heart hasn't cried. The days that I longed for, were lost. Truly accepting the fate or destiny that Mother Fate bestowed upon me—It’s meant to be...

For days, Azumi tormented me with physical abuse and indecent assault. No matter how many times I beg, she doesn't stop. It gradually worsened over the course of several days. I, the once brave person, became a coward after I fully accepted the situation I’m currently in.

At first, I cried, pleading for her to stop, but the satisfaction she gains from tormenting is immeasurable.

“A-Azumi-chan... Please, I can’t anymore... I-I beg you...”

“Stop fussing about small details. Remember, you’re mine forever. Okay?” She then dislocated my knee the other way.

“Argh—! Ahh—!”

I kept screaming in pain. The screams of my misery are euphonious in her ears—She lives by it. That’s the day where I experienced my first—The first week, she kept dislocating my feet and putting them back together as if I’m some sort of detachable toy. Countless sleepless nights I endured, as my misery had just only begun.

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She would often feed me through her mouth with her disgusting saliva mixed in it. Every single thing she does to me was all for her own satisfaction or entertainment. After the first week, it gradually started ascending from my legs to my arms and fingers. After a course of several days, I can no longer speak.

Upon that moment, I experienced a nightmare—A hell. Her longing for my eyes and obsession with it. She would always put this thing in my head where it will force my eyes to open. Afterward, she would put various kinds of liquid in it, then she would inject something into my eyes.

I can't.

No more.

This is not real.

I'm in a nightmare.

This is not happening to me.

Denying everything as the cycle continued on until I have long forgotten the time, days, or months—Because it feels like an eternity for me.

“Don’t fret it, Tatsuya~ As long you stay obedient, mommy won’t take your precious eyes off, okay? Mmhm~ You’re rare unique eyes make me cum~ You have no idea how long I’ve been longing for your eyes~”

Those are the exact same words she would say to me, every single time while in the middle of doing it. Soon after, she would force me to do things or she would indecently assault me. Exact same thing, every day. Every single day.

The joyful days I have are the only time, I was left alone in this pit of darkness and then questioning the existence of God, a being responsible for creating everything. Questioning about my world’s despair, yet I found God wasn’t there.

I gradually started getting used to the pain that she’s inflicting on me on a daily basis, that I became like an emotionless doll, with my lifeless eyes that had given in life. But, every night, I cry in the darkness—With my thoughts full of hatred and sadness, I just can’t help myself.

Why is this happening to me?

Why me out of all people?

Why is the world so unfair?

What did I do to deserve this?

I only wanted to help one of my precious family, but in exchange, I need to suffer?

Please kill me.

Someone kill me.

End my suffering.

End my suffering.

End my suffering.

End my suffering.

I can’t take it anymore.

Let this end.

God, please kill me.

After that, the words of Azumi lingered in my head.

“The world doesn’t need you nor it needed you.”

“We live in our own world.”

“Destiny binds us together because your string of fate is intertwined with mine.”

“Accept it.”

A momentous realization occurred to me. The world has forsaken me. The warmth and touch of someone were long forgotten. The despair and anguish were what's left for me. Nothing is real, none of these are real—Is what I hope so.

I’m just an empty, lifeless person with the purpose of bringing joy to someone’s satisfaction. I’m nothing. Devoided of life, abandoned by the world. I’m a mere object with a purpose.

Peer gazing at the tiny hole, behind it was the outside, a place that I longed before. But now, it doesn’t matter. The days I longed for are now gone—A forgotten past. No matter how much I think it, those thoughts are useless. Nothing can save me.

No one can save me.

No one.

Alone.

Alone in the darkness.

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