Chapter 132: Chapter 130: Behind The Truth (2)

"Follow me, Tatsuya."

"Whoa, what are you doing? Yuki already said that you can even barely stand up now."

Gramps said as he supports himself on standing up while using the table. I went to his side and assisted him. From then on, he leads me to the bookshelf behind him. Then he points at the top shelf where books are lined up neatly in a row. "Get the second one in the row."

"Did you really just stand up just to get a book, where I'll eventually get it?"

"Yeah, and go get it. You ungrateful child."

Following his words, I came to get it. Turning it around, I was expecting some name of the book, but there's nothing in here other than the plain white cover of the book. Feeling it, I could easily distinguish that this book is well-kept and it's in great condition, despite the wrinkles around it. The strong scent of the fruity fragrance tickled my nose, recollecting some memories of mine from the familiar aroma of the book that I was holding.

"Give it to me." The old man scoffed.

"Eh? Okay."

After handing him the book, he opens the pages, slowly I recognize the handwriting and the flowers on every page. Every time the old man flips the pages, a nostalgic feeling floods right through my eyes. Touching the wet tears, I swallow my saliva to least alleviate the clogging feeling around my chest. I wipe the tears out of my face.

"Ah, come on, I didn't come here to cry."

"I didn't ask you to cry."

"That's harsh. Can't you least comfort your grandkid?"

Ignoring my question, he stops flipping the pages and lands on a specific page before handing it to me. Once gramps gave it to me, I saw a petal of cherry blossom pasted over the paper, completely sealed. Below it, there's a text written. 'For Azumi, my friend.'

"Friend? They're really related to each other?"

"Of course, they are. How do I say this, they're basically childhood friends. A long time ago, before the incident regarding Iwamoto's parents, I was once bought Sayuri to their household because of my old friend the old head of the Iwamoto's. From then on, I would often visit them alongside Sayuri at my side and she would play together with her..."

While listening to gramps, I tried to remove the tape on the petal to inspect it; and yet, I didn't have the courage to do so, because I'll ruin it.

"... Watching the two joyfully playing together, brings warmth to this old man's heart. And yet, the misfortune had befallen them as soon their parents got into an accident and led to Azumi taking over everything. Haaaah... Despite everything that Sayuri did to help her alleviate the despair, as time passes, slowly Azumi's personality changed to worst."

"What's her personality before?"

"Shy, reserved, and bright. That's how I view it, but Sayuri told me that she's a cheerful child who likes studying the greenery surrounding our world."

"I-I can't believe it..."

Every word that gramps said about that woman was unbelievable because every time I would recall the bad events, I still feel weak and helpless like from before. She's a twisted person, who likes to see the torment of other people for her own convenience and entertainment. The scent of blood and despair from me brings joy to her face. That's how I portray her because they're all true. Every memory that I have of her is nothing, but despair—an incorrigible person if I would describe her in a word.

She's nothing but a nightmare that bought me to the darkness. Until this day, I understand to myself that if I ever saw her; I would just collapse on the ground like a coward because each time I think of standing up to her and fighting for myself—the outcome will be just the same. It's like my brains reject the idea, no matter how I force it. It doesn't listen to me.

I caress the petal on the book.

If Azumi changed because of the deaths of her parents, that doesn't still justify everything that she had done to me. She should rot in hell. Such a thing as forgiveness is not something to be deserved for all the damage that she caused me both emotionally and physically. She completely ruined a man's life because of her foolishness and a broken spirit. Transfering her grieves through sick and twisted ways just to alleviate hers.

It's making my blood boil in anger. A hole of emptiness was right around my chest, a hole where all emotions were getting sucked in leaving nothing but hatred and intent.

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I flip the page one more time to see a yellow petal of a flower and a message below it. 'For the lost ones.' It's short, yet I fully understand the message of Sayuri.

One more time, now, I see a white petal and message—it's a long one. 'The grievance and sorrow of a woman. The ill-fated destine of mother Fate, entangling the string of fate to each other. The path of our destiny was left to the unknown, even mother Fate doesn't have the answer that we seek. We can only dictate ours.'

"Huh...?"

The unsettling feeling from the message was unpleasant, it gives me a jittery feeling. I'm not sure, why...

"What is this really, gramps?"

"It's Sayuri's diary, in her terms. She's a weird kid, that even I can't understand. But, from reading that book, it's more like her way of expressing her emotions that day through small messages and petals. What a weird kid. I haven't shown that book to Yuki yet, only to you and me."

"Why?"

"Not sure, but I only hope I could find her one day through that diary of hers. A glimmer of hope that would shine one day. Therefore, I want to show it to you. I don't know how long I'll be able to stay in this world, but knowing that there's you remaining. I'll be glad."

"Why not to Yuki?"

"She's not mentally ready nor had the capability to carry the burden because she's still soft inside with a strong facade. You two are different ever since I saw you two as a kid. I don't want my granddaughter to carry the burden that would lead her to the thorny path where there's no going back."

"And, you want me to carry those?"

"Yes. This selfish decision was unlike me, yet I just want the best for you two. Even my own sons can't be trusted now—"

"That's why you trusted me out of all your subordinates? I'm practically an outsider."

"Along with my granddaughters, you three are the only people to whom I can say I poured all my attention and watch you three grew up with my very own eyes. Unlike my own flesh and blood who only treats me as a stranger that only gave them a shelter and money to live in, nonetheless, it's one of my mistakes that I will truly regret until my last breath."

"To atone those regrets of yours, you poured everything to us."

"Yes. Once you're old enough, you will understand everything that's happening around you. And, the old choices of my past self have come to haunt me—the karma. You could say, it's also my way to experience new things that I wasn't able to do with my children." Gramps quivering hands held my arm.

I smile wryly. "Gramps, I'll just go out to breath some fresh air. Stay here, I'll call someone to look after you."

"Suit yourself. I'll be here."

After assisting gramps back to his seat, I slid open the door and walks on the hard wooden floor. I was welcomed by the fresh breeze of the trees and the settling coldness of it. The ticking sound of water, gushing from the pipe to the pond caught my attention along with two voices around it.

Near the pond, I saw Asuka and Yuki playing with each other while resting their feet on the water, relaxing through the coziness of the wind and the freshwater. Yet, I silently pass them toward the other direction, as there's a gate at the back which I walk through to see the marvelous scenery of the clear sky and gentle trees.

To clear my mind, I followed the stone path to the forest and contemplated over my own thoughts. The hissing sound became stronger as I walk deep into the forest. While walking, I saw different kinds of bugs and birds in a harmonic unity altogether in my surrounding.

Minutes later...

I found myself lost in the woods. "Ah, shit."

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