Chapter 63: Chapter 62: Dream of Conclusion

Traversing into my consciousness inside my mind.

A man standing in the plain white field gradually descending, as the floor devours its body, and that man was none other than—Me. This body of mine gradually becoming part of the white floor. I can’t do anything about it. Looking at the transparent liquid ripple it makes as it devours my body, it looks pleasing into my eyes.

I fixated the two lifeless eyes of mine on it; I’m helpless. There’s nothing around me, only whiteness. No one. Even the voices that keep haunting me, they’re gone. Like, it seems, god abandoned this world and left me to rot into nothingness, as my existence is only a pebble of sand from millions or billions of sands.

Why...

As I slowly descend, my right hand touched my chest. Upon touching it, a gaping hole was in my chest. I felt nothing while touching it. No blood. There’s nothing inside me. Do I feel bad about it? None. I’m about to be gone, anyway. Why would I care anyway?

With the liquid rippling, the floor below me started mirroring my own image. A young man in his teens, black raven hair with translucent amethyst eyes. Then that eye of mine. Blood started pouring out of it as it descends to my own reflection on the floor.

I can’t feel anything...

Why...

As blood drowns my eyes, a pair of arms crawled wrapping around my body. A light breeze brushed through my ears, then a voice reached my ears, “You’re here again? You really don’t listen, huh? How many times do I keep telling you?”

Slowly turning my head towards the voice, I saw white-silvery long hair while turning my head. When I finally turned my head, a gorgeous smile of a woman greeted me. She’s so beautiful. Upon seeing her, I can’t help myself but mesmerize by her beauty, which made me think of someone else that hugely resembles her.

But, there’s something wrong. She has this beautiful unblemished skin and perfect face, but her eyes. Only one of her eyes has the same amethyst eyes as mine because her left eye is white, there’s nothing in that one eye such as an iris or pupil, nothing.

“Oh, why are not saying anything?”, she smiled beautifully.

Covering her white eye with her right hand, “Are you looking at this again?”

The painful look on her face as she covers it. Something stung in my chest. Taking a quick look at it, I was stunned. From earlier, where there’s a hole in my chest, it’s now gone. In addition to that, I could see my entire legs, as if all those stuff happened earlier vanished in a matter of second. I then glanced at the lady embracing me from behind.

She’s smiling at me. But, there’s more to it as her smiles behind them are agonizing pain and sorrow. The lady was trying her best to not show it to me. Giving me a genuine smile, even at how miserable she feels. She’s giving me a genuine smile...

My mind was in disarray...

Suddenly, I could feel the tears that are coming out of my eyes. Slightly touching my face. But the unexpected happened. The bloody tears that I was having earlier vanished and now turned into crystal clear tears, as if it didn’t happen. Gradually, my eyes glance at the lady’s amethyst eye, as I was being drawn by some enchanting charm magic.

Fixated into her eye, a reflection of mine started emerging into her eye—A miserable crying boy. Then the lady spoke, “You’re such a cry-baby. How can you get a girl if you’re always like that?”

A stream of emotions went inside my chest, making some turmoil because of it. The dreadful feeling that’s indescribable for me. I don’t want it.

Why...?

Why... are you always looking at me like that...?

As if nothing happened...?

Just why...?

Why do you always put this powerful character as a facade in front of me...?

Even though I knew it...?

Just why...?

What’s the point of it...?

“How many times do I need to tell you, for you to get it? Think for yourself, first. No matter how many times you give out yourself to others, you’ll be the only one who will get hurt in the end. I chose this path because I wanted to.”, she whispered, without even losing the gentleness on her smile.

I unconsciously moved my mouth, “Don’t be such a hypocrite.”

“I am not.”, she replied, then embracing me tightly.

She continued, “You’re just a kid with a bright future ahead of you. You’re intelligent, kind-hearted, and handome. Yet, you got into this mess, you’re innocent, that should have a normal life but it got taken away from you. With how mature you are from the other kids I have seen, especially my little sister. I knew you can become successful in this cruel fated world.”

“No matter what happens, always prioritize yourself. Okay? Give and take. Change your mindset. You’ll become nothing if you gave everything to someone without taking something. Someone will take you for granted. That’s why you’re in this mess, because of your kindness. But, I can’t scold you for that since it saved my little sister.”, she added.

“That’s why I’m thankful that I have met you...”, she said, as tears started pouring down on her face.

The woman started fading away; she started caressing my face while wiping out the tears that haven’t stopped falling from my face. She was looking at me with tenderness in her eyes, like how my mother was looking at me, which made my heart more painful.

“... Thank you. I can’t be thankful enough. I’m glad that I met you. Please, protect my sister in my stead. That’s my only wish. And, tell her I love her so dearly even when our circumstances didn’t allow us to meet that often, tell her I love her. Thank you, Tatsuya.”, she whispered with a painstaking smile.

Please...

Don’t...

Go...

My tears started bursting out once again, like water dam release. I hate this emotion that I’m having right now. I hate it. I hate it. While the woman was fading into nothingness, she smiled once again.

“I love you, Tatsuya. Take care of her for me.”, giving me the smile that I wouldn’t forget in my entire life, while gently wiping out my tears.

“Thank you. Take care of Yuki for me. Tatsuya.”, her final last words, before disappearing in front of my eyes.

Following that, my body started descending with the floor once again, but the difference was on its way faster. I’m looking at it without a care in the world. I feel empty. I can’t mutter a single word, even though I want to scream in agony. I can’t. Something got stuck in my throat.

Looking at the sky, my body gradually disappears from the floor as my vision diminishing into the void.

✯ ✯ ✯

Slowly opening my eyes...

Seeing the white ceiling of my room brings nostalgia into my mind, adding the sweetness aroma. Tears started pouring out of my eyes as I stare into my ceiling. My mouth muttered one name, “Sayuri-neechan...”

Why did I forget about her...?

Just why...?

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I can’t believe it...

Why am I so powerless...?

Even remembering her, I can’t do it...?

Why am I so pathetic...?

Protect my ass...

I didn’t even remember her promise...

Give and take...

With all these thoughts occupying my mind right now. The turmoil inside of my heart remained. The feeling of inability to do something, the incompetence. Facing to my right, where I felt nothing because of the numbness that I’m experiencing in my right arm.

There, I saw Yuki happily snugging the right part of my body. Then, I turned to my left where it feels the same; I saw Naoki the same as Yuki. The two were happily sleeping with a smile on their face, while I’m sandwiched between them.

Turning to my left, where Yuki was sleeping, I kissed her forehead. After kissing her forehead, I said, “Sorry, Yuki.”, then giving her a gentle smile.

“Mmmm...”, she grunted.

I’ll protect them, not only Yuki, even Naoki.

Then my head turned to Naoki who was naked too, the same as Yuki. I let out a helpless smile, “Sorry.”, kissing her on her forehead. I let out a desperate sigh, “Haaa...”

Looking around my room, nothing changed. Except for the clothes that are lying on the floor, I noticed that I’m naked too. They even removed my clothes, huh? Suddenly, I remembered I was the one who removed it. I desperately wanted to facepalm, but I can’t because of the two girls in my arms.

Now, back to watching the ceiling once again. Noticing that my tears still haven’t stopped, I started pondering in my own thoughts. The painstaking feeling in my heart didn’t leave, even after waking up from my slumber. Sayuri...

“Sayuri-neechan...”, I muttered once again.

One more reason I want to recover all of my memories. Furthermore, I haven’t really recovered my memories yet. That dream of mine unveiled some parts that are hidden deep inside within me. But, it’s not enough. That fragment was only the tip of the iceberg, there’s more into it.

Reminiscing Sayuri-neechan’s white eyes, I became more remorseful; her smile—everything. I clearly remember my dream. I’ve got a feeling that I'm the one responsible for her white eye. I feel shit.

I gritted my teeth.

Then I exhaled, “Hooo...”

“Mmmm”, I heard a grunt from my right.

I saw Yuki opening her eyes. Upon seeing me, she asked a question, “Are you crying...?”

“I don’t know... It’s just here after waking up.”, I said with a helpless smile.

“There there, no need to cry.”, Yuki smiled, while caressing my face.

“Thanks.”, I then approached her inducing lips, giving her a deep kiss.

Yuki’s eyes widen. Upon seeing my actions, “What happened to you?”

“Hm? I just kissed you? What’s the problem?”, I replied questioningly.

“I mean, y-yeah... But...”, Yuki said, as she can’t think of a reason.

“Just ignore it. My arms are numb from the two of you.”, I said.

“Eh? A-Ah, y-yeah...”, Yuki said in puzzlement.

“Thanks.”, I thanked her.

After letting me move my right arm, I swayed it around so that the blood flow would come back. With that, I slowly removed my left arm from Naoki’s head, gently carrying her head as I slowly take my arms out. Now, I can finally move my arms again.

“What time is it, Yuki?”, I asked.

Yuki, who still in bewilderment, replied abruptly, “Oh, a-ah, let me check.”

Yuki then stood up, leaving me to mesmerize by her well-defined body. Yuki’s muscle distributions are so great, I could see that some of them are on her thighs, which made her waist more alluring, which no man could resist.

She then crouched, which left me surprised once again. Her black sexy panties perfectly match her thigh. From how snowy her skin. I even gulped from temptation, but that’s my priority right now. Checking her phone, she said, “5:34 pm. Tatsu.”

“Oh, thanks, Yuki. Is Nee-san home now?”, I asked.

“Eh? Uh, I don’t know. I was sleeping with you. I even only noticed that Naoki was beside, just right now.”, Yuki replied.

“Ah, I see. Thanks. I’ll just wake up this little girl.”, I said.

Shaking Naoki to wake her up, she grunted, “Mmmmm...”

“Wake up, Naoki.”, approaching her face, while saying those close to her ears.

“Mhm? Tatsu...?”, Naoki said, as she rubs her eyes.

“Yes. I’m here.”, I said with a smile.

“Huggies.”, Naoki, arms wide, asking for it.

I happily complied and hugged her. Therefore, Yuki became more confused while looking at me. From I have been acting, people would assume that I have a multiple personality disorder as I became a different person when I woke up. But in truth, the confusing feeling that I’ve got between the two. I finally reached the conclusion of what that is, which is their part of the people that I wanted to protect, the people whom I love to protect.

With how I came to that conclusion so quickly, to be honest, I don’t know. It’s the only thing that is popping up in my mind, it’s telling me to just do it. With no actual logical reasoning to back it up, but maybe it’s the only way for me to remember it all.

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