Chapter 13: 85. Difficulty

Since it had come up so often in the conversation, Elder Qin ended up having Lee Jia describe in detail the entire experience of her ‘death’. It wasn’t really something she felt all that comfortable talking about for a variety of reasons, but at this point she really didn’t have any secrets left that the Elder didn’t already know.

Jia could clearly remember the moments leading up to her ‘death’ from both her own perspective and from Eui’s, most likely because she had remembered them as Yoshika. She described how she had given up her essence freely to the pull of Eui’s demonic core, how Eui had protected her soul from being consumed, how the white cat had helped Yoshika to return Jia’s soul to her body, and how Yoshika had cut off Eui’s demonic core in order to protect Jia and Heian from it’s hunger.

Qin Zhao listened intently, without asking any questions. When Jia finished, he tapped a finger on his chin as he thought.

“I hesitate to call what you describe a ‘resurrection’, though by mortal reckoning it would not be inaccurate. Crucially, though your body was without life, your soul remained almost entirely intact. Since your body was not physically destroyed, to a cultivator of my level you could hardly have been considered injured.”

Jia crossed her arms and frowned.

“I’m not a cultivator of your level, though. To me, those injuries were pretty grave, and I’m still worried about the long-term consequences of the damage to my meridians.”

Elder Qin nodded.

“A reasonable concern. Inform me if you encounter any difficulties you think might be related to that damage. Though it is not my area of expertise, I will see what I can do to ameliorate the effects. For now, your story did have the information I was looking for—a way for Miss An to train her control of the destruction element without risk of feeding her demon core.”

Eui perked up from where she had been hugging her knees and sulking, she tried to exclaim something but grimaced and started cursing silently when no sound came out. Elder Qin ignored her as he continued speaking.

“She will simply have to isolate her demonic core in the same manner while practicing her techniques.”

Eui dropped her arms, tilted her head, and glared at Elder Qin with an exasperated expression that managed to say a lot even without any actual words behind it. Jia decided to do her best to translate as Eui’s voice.

“Uh, that’s a lot easier said than done. The core becomes unstable and starts releasing its energy as deviations, and the destruction element is already difficult enough to handle without your body trying to tear itself apart.”

Elder Qin shrugged unsympathetically.

“I never said it would be easy—only that it was possible. I should also note that while the demonic core has a particular affinity for the destruction element from which it was created, it is not restricted to absorbing only that. Learning to control and restrict it will be necessary if Miss An ever expects to avoid falling to her demonic hunger.”

The reminder of what was at stake was a sobering thought, and Jia frowned as she once again questioned the decision to ever get involved in cultivation. Magic and immortality had been alluring, but she hadn’t realized just how dangerous the world of cultivation was.

“In any case, I have seen enough for today. Miss Lee, your mastery of the modified Tranquility of the Verdant Marsh technique is adequate for now, given that the technique is incomplete. You may set aside its training until you are ready to complete it yourself.”

“I thought you and Magus Hwang were going to modify it. Was it that difficult working with him?”

Elder Qin shook his head.

“For all his flaws, Magus Hwang is an exceptional scholar. Though his understanding of ‘spiritual arts’ is limited, he more than makes up for it with superlative knowledge of mana theory. His recommendations needed adjustments, but they were generally very insightful. The reason I have chosen to leave the completion of the technique to you is so that you can make it your own. You have already begun to do so, and it would be a waste to deprive you of an original technique.”

“Oh. Okay, what am I supposed to work on until then?”

“I have already told you that you should work with Miss Yan to learn from her, but should you continue to stubbornly refuse then I recommend you begin to practice Awakening of the Dragon’s Heart.”

Lee Jia grimaced. She was not particularly enthusiastic about the idea of training in the technique that had been used by Yan Zhihao and Zheng Long. Elder Qin saw the expression and shook his head.

“Do not be so quick to discount the technique. The Yan clan has ascended to its place as one of the great sects with that technique as their core, and even their patriarch has never truly unlocked it’s potential.”

Lee Jia frowned.

“How do you know that? Isn’t their core technique supposed to be secret?”

“As I told you before, it is not a closely guarded secret. While the great sects will attempt to slay those who steal their secrets, they are not always successful, and it is common practice to poach or trade promising disciples. In my case, however, I have a simpler answer—I remember the founding of their clan, and I know how Yan De discovered the technique.”

“‘Discovered’? You mean they didn’t create it themselves?”

“That is not a question you are prepared to hear the answer to, Miss Lee. For now, suffice it to say that the technique as they practice it is a pale shadow of its true potential. I recommend you learn it for yourself, or ask Miss Yan to tutor you in her techniques. If you have any wisdom whatsoever, you will do both.”

Lee Jia sighed, but Elder Qin’s secrecy wasn’t really a surprise.

“I’ve already asked—I mean, Yue offered to help us with spiritual training. I can’t say I’m enthusiastic about it, but I’m willing to give her a chance. Again. I don’t think I can ever really trust her, though.”

Elder Qin nodded.

“That is sufficient—in fact, many from my nation would consider that a valuable life lesson.”

Jia didn’t miss the way he phrased that, nor the way that he didn’t seem particularly pleased about it. He turned back to Eui, who had gone back to silently sulking.

“Miss An, your commitment to training in the ways of life and healing as a way to offset your natural affinity to death and destruction is commendable, but you must do more than simply repair the damage you cause—you must endeavor not to cause it in the first place. Continue to train your mastery of the element of destruction. Should you truly feel starved of progress, then you may begin your study of the Path of Heavenly Ascension.”

An Eui glared miserably at Elder Qin, but nodded once in affirmation.

“Very well. This concludes our lesson for today. You will meet me here in a week's time to discuss your progress, as well as the upcoming announcement.”

“Wait, what—”

Elder Qin turned away and vanished in his typical, dramatic way.

“—announcement? Ancestors damn it.”

Jia cursed as Elder Qin disappeared without answering her question. That was twice now her instructors had alluded to some upcoming event without elaborating. She sighed in resignation as she sat down next to Eui. Oh well, she’d find out about it eventually.

“Well, I guess that could have gone a lot worse. What do you think?”

Jia innocently met Eui’s eyes, and was met with an extremely unimpressed glare.

“Snrk! Sorry! You tease me all the time, and it’s not often I get to turn the tables. Here—”

Jia reached out and took Eui’s hand.

“We can still talk like this, right?”

Eui glanced down at their hands then smiled weakly at Jia.

“Right.”

Jia sighed and leaned into Eui. Technically it was against the spirit of their house arrest to linger like this, but they had come out for a lesson and Jia was willing to take advantage of the opportunity to enjoy the scenery—and a bit of privacy from their unwanted roommate.

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“Are you alright, Eui? You seem a bit on edge—more than usual, I mean.”

Eui shrugged.

“Just a bad day. It happens sometimes.”

“You seemed okay earlier. Did something happen, did Yue say something—did I?”

Eui scowled irritably and shook her head.

“No, Jia. It doesn’t work like that. There’s not always a reason for it, you know? Sometimes it’s just me, getting stuck in my own head and realizing how worthless I am.”

Jia squeezed Eui’s hand reassuringly.

“You’re not worthless! Is there anything I can do to help? Do you want to talk about it?”

Eui’s scowl grew deeper, and Jia could sense the mounting irritation in Eui.

“No, there isn’t, and no, I don’t. You’re not getting it Jia, this is just who I am. I’m not some problem for you to solve—you can’t fix me!”

Eui stood up angrily and pulled her hand from Jia’s grasp. Jia watched with concern as Eui stood there, silently fuming for a moment before she deflated and sat back down, tentatively reaching out to grasp Jia’s hand again.

“S-sorry...that wasn’t fair to you. I know you’re just trying to help, but I—ancestors, I don’t even think I want to be helped. I’m not worth your time, your effort, or your love. It makes sense that you don’t want to be with me—I wouldn’t want to be with me either.”

“That’s not fair either, Eui—not to me and especially not to you!”

Eui’s grip on Jia’s hand tightened painfully, and she had a bitter grimace on her face.

“Nothing ever is. I think Elder Qin was right about our fates. You’re obviously destined for something great, and I’m destined to die alone in a gutter. It should have already happened—should have happened before we even met, so I wouldn’t be dragging you down like this.”

“Eui, I don’t regret meeting you, or becoming cultivation partners. You don’t drag me down!”

Eui shook her head, tears forming in her eyes.

“I know you think that, and that just makes it hurt even more! You’ve got friends, allies, talent, treasure—all I have is an affinity for an element that’s as likely to kill me as my enemies, a core that’s slowly turning me into a monster, and a talent for pissing off the people that are trying to help me.”

“You’ve got friends and allies too, Eui. What about Rika and Eunae? What about me? You’re as talented as I am—ancestors, you’re way better than me at fighting, and this ‘treasure’ has caused far more trouble than it’s worth. We both have our strengths and our weaknesses—but that’s why we have each other to cover for those weaknesses.”

Eui tried to wipe the tears from her face in vain.

“You have me, Jia. I just don’t always feel like I have you.”

Jia frowned, trying her best not to let herself get too indignant—she knew that Eui was prone to saying things she didn’t mean when she got like this.

“What’s that supposed to mean? I almost died trying to save your life!”

“I don’t know! I just feel like that, okay!? I know it isn’t rational, I know that you’ll always be there for me, I just don’t feel that way! I don’t understand how someone like you could possibly want to spend their life dealing with a fuck up like me.”

Jia sighed, leaning into Eui affectionately.

“I’m not that great either, you know. Just some homeless, orphaned nobody—a petty thief. Even the streets were too good for me. I’ve been...lucky. To come here, to meet you, to make friends—it’s more than I could have ever imagined. It hasn’t always been easy, but I wouldn’t change a thing—especially not meeting you.”

Eui leaned back into Jia and sniffled silently, a small smirk forming.

“Not even turning your back on the strongest person you’ve ever fought and getting a giant hole put through your chest?”

Jia grimaced—but she supposed she’d earned that one. Besides, she’d rather have Eui teasing her than mercilessly putting herself down.

“Okay, maybe that part. Not my best moment.”

“Or panicking and signing us up for a life of servitude—”

“Okay, I get it, Eui!”

Eui chuckled silently, but her expression quickly dropped again.

“I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, Jia, but you don’t have to, honestly. I know I’m just being moody—you don’t need to bother yourself worrying over me.”

Jia shook her head and wrapped Eui in a hug.

“Too bad! I’m going to do it anyway, because you’re my best friend and I love you. Even when you don’t love yourself.”

Eui hesitated for a moment, but returned the hug.

“Thanks, Jia. I love you too.”

They sat in the pavilion and enjoyed the beautiful park, the nice weather, and each other’s company—stretching the limitations of their freedom just a little bit more before returning home. On their way back, Jia noticed that they were getting a lot of strange looks from the other disciples. Their expressions were a mix of interest, disgust, and vague amusement, depending on who was doing the looking.

Jia was accustomed to the occasional curious glance, ever since someone had started circulating strange rumors about her—rumors which had only gotten more out of control after the incident with Zheng Long last month—but this seemed to be something else. Nearly every student was staring at them now. What was going on?

She had her answer when they finally arrived home to find their dorm had been vandalized. Rotten food, paint, and other detritus marred the walls and roof, and the small garden of flowers that Yue had planted at the front had been torn up and scattered haphazardly.

Jia stared in shock at the vandalism. What was the point? Who would benefit from doing something like this? Most concerning of all, however, wasn’t the damage or the mess—but the three words that had been painted in bright red characters on the front of the house.

Thief

Murderer

Whore

It was a very clear message. The first two were directed at her and Eui, and the third was either a red herring, or an attack on Yue based on the false rumors surrounding her. Except that Jia and Eui hadn’t shared their full backgrounds with anyone that they didn’t trust completely. Nobody should have been able to attack their past so precisely. This wasn’t a random act of bullying. It was done by someone who knew Jia and Eui—knew who they were and where they came from.

Other than their closest friends and confidants, there were only two people who could have been behind this. It seemed like their troubles with Sun Jaehwa and Tae In-Su weren’t resolved after all.

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