Chapter 232: 297. Gaze

Eunae tugged at her veil idly as she pondered how to proceed. She wasn’t used to wearing earrings, nor was she used to having a piece of fabric constantly in front of her face. The discomfort was distracting, but she couldn’t afford to let herself lose focus. There was too much on the line.

“I think I need to see for myself. Maybe if I can visualize my power, it will help me understand what I am doing.”

Yoshika frowned. Jia’s body began pacing around their little clearing while Eui’s stayed put within the soul sight formation. As she usually did, Yoshika spoke with Jia’s body.

“We...might be able to arrange that. Our gloves won’t do anything for you, and the soul sight formation is imperfect by itself. Maybe a combination of soul sight and Melody of the Dreaming Moon, to fill in the gaps?”

Eunae admired how Yoshika never wrote off an idea. For any problem, she had a solution, or a path towards one. Her determination was enviable.

“If you think that will work, I’m open to trying. Will you be able to bring Jiaying into it?”

Pan Jiaying pursed her lips.

“Into what? What’s Melody of the Dreaming Moon?”

Eunae wasn’t sure how to answer, but Yoshika was more than happy to speak for herself.

“It’s a special sort of illusion technique that takes full control over the senses. We learned it from Yan Yue.”

“Her again? Wait—another mind control technique?!”

“Not the way we use it, no. We won’t be using it on you, anyway—it would be for Eunae.”

That was a surprisingly uncharitable way for Yoshika to describe their own technique, but there were probably still some scars left over from when Yue used it against them. Eunae found their version of the technique to be quite beautiful and touching, actually.

Eui’s body stood up and gestured to Eunae.

“Come into the circle with us and try to stay focused on Pan Jiaying. Soul sight can be a little overwhelming at first.”

Eunae complied, gasping slightly as the representation of Yoshika’s soul appeared in her senses. ‘Soul sight’ was a misnomer. Eunae wasn’t really seeing anything new, but she struggled to find another way to describe the sensation.

Yoshika’s soul was a vast field on which a bustling community had been built. It was summer and winter superimposed on each other and stretching on infinitely in every direction, all of it surrounded and protected by a couple’s loving embrace. Eunae tore her eyes off of it before the sight could reduce her to tears—no wonder Dae had been so moved when he first saw it.

Pan Jiaying’s soul was simpler, but no less beautiful for it. The infinite depths of a placid lake speaking to an unrealized potential. The thought of intentionally marring such beauty soured Eunae’s attitude, but she couldn’t let herself make any more excuses.

Jia’s voice snapped her out of her reverie.

“Are you ready? We’re going to start the song now.”

Eunae nodded, and Yoshika began to sing.

It always amused Eunae that the song wasn’t actually very good. Yan Yue’s technique was as much an artistic expression as it was a powerful weapon, but for Yoshika, it was entirely an expression of self. Beautiful in its own way, but hardly a musical masterpiece. It suited Yoshika perfectly.

Eunae let herself be swept away by the harmonious melody, and soon the familiar shape of Yoshika’s soulscape took form around her. It was rapidly replaced by a projection of their own surroundings, including Pan Jiaying who was scowling and rubbing her ears.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re terrible singers? Is this really necessary for the technique to work?”

Yoshika made a rude gesture at her—with her spirit form, that is. Her physical bodies remained in meditation and dutifully hummed the notes of her song—though Eunae could no longer hear it. Eunae giggled at the display.

“Maybe you should add an extra illusion for Pan Jiaying’s sake, so that you can properly communicate with her even though she’s not here with us.”

Yoshika groaned.

“This is already a lot of work. You want me to sustain a secondary illusion on top of maintaining all of this and showing you the way your technique works?”

“Is it too much, or do you just not want to?”

Eunae’s question elicited a heavy sigh from Yoshika, who wordlessly began to work on weaving the illusion in question. Pan Jiaying blinked in confusion.

“Who are you talking to? It sounds like you’re talking to Yoshika, but they’re just sitting there humming.”

Yoshika’s spirit form leaned down next to Pan Jiaying’s ear as she finished her illusion.

“She’s talking to me.”

Pan Jiaying jumped and scrambled a few feet away from Yoshika.

“By the emperor! What is that?!”

Yoshika crossed her arms and pouted.

“Rude! Is that any way to talk to your master?”

Pan Jiaying furrowed her brow.

“Yoshika? Why do you look like that? And if you think I’m ever going to call you ‘Master’ you’re sorely mistaken.”

Yoshika snorted and spun in a circle.

“This is what I actually look like, inside—the real me. Now get back into position, this is exhausting.”

Eunae took a moment to admire Yoshika’s spirit form as Pan Jiaying moved back into place. Her long black and white hair and heterochrome red and gold eyes were a striking blend of Jia and Eui’s features. But the most eye-catching feature was the glossy black horn jutting out of her forehead just off center.

To anyone else, the demonic feature might be alarming, but to Eunae it was beautiful. It was both an acceptance of who she was, and a rejection of the scars that branded her as an outsider and a criminal. Yoshika’s spirit form was an avatar of self-acceptance.

Pan Jiaying, apparently, saw something else.

“How come Li Meili doesn’t look like that, then?”

The question gave Yoshika pause. There was an obvious answer, but Eunae doubted it would be one that Pan Jiaying found acceptable.

“Because I originally made Li Meili based on a disguise. Changing her appearance now would be a complicated affair because that’s a real body—but if she ever requested it, I would do whatever I could to change her appearance to whatever she likes.”

Pan Jiaying looked thoughtful for a moment before asking another question.

“And why aren’t you referring to yourselves with ‘we’ anymore?”

Eunae’s eyes widened behind her veil. That was a good question, actually. Yoshika had answered it before, but always with dismissal.

“I just don’t feel like it. No more questions—let’s get started.”

A dismissal just like that one, actually. She was right, though. Their time was limited and they needed to get back on track.

“Right. Pan Jiaying, this is going to require me to make a few commands and observe their effects. I’ll limit myself only to small, simple gestures, and I will stop if either Yoshika or I think that things have gone too far. Do you consent?”

Pan Jiaying hesitated, then nodded.

“Alright, let’s do it.”

Eunae lifted her veil and prepared herself. She hated this, but she hated not knowing anything about her own power even more. She opened her eyes and watched as the claws of pale green fire reached out from the depths of her own soul and took Pan Jiaying into their embrace.

It was terrifying. That was coming from her? The soulfire that she could summon was normally just a shapeless flame. The damage it did was uncontrolled and would usually heal over time. This was something else—something sinister and intentional. And it was hers.

“Please lift your right hand.”

Eunae watched intently, but to her surprise there was almost no response from her power. A tiny flick of a claw, and Pan Jiaying simply complied. The wound was healed before she’d even finished. More gestures yielded the same result—Pan Jiaying was barely being forced to do anything.

Eunae closed her eyes and frowned.

“Yoshika, what do you make of this?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. Pan Jiaying, Eunae’s power did next to nothing. What was it like for you?”

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Pan Jiaying blinked and furrowed her brows.

“Uh...well, it’s not like it was unreasonable, and I’d already agreed to do it. The thought of not doing it didn’t even cross my mind, but that’s pretty normal when I’m looking at her eyes.”

Eunae rested her chin on one hand and tapped her lips thoughtfully.

“I am...starting to question everything I thought I knew about this power. There’s no doubt in my mind that people who’ve been subjected to it frequently have become thralls, but then there are those who haven’t, like Yoshika. Yet Yoshika is also living proof of the potential for my power to cause permanent damage. I don’t know what to think...”

Pan Jiaying heaved a sigh.

“Okay. Make me do something I don’t want to do.”

Eunae blinked.

“What?”

“Don’t tell me what it is. Please don’t make it something permanent, either. I consent to whatever you decide on as long as it’s not permanent, but just make it something that I would otherwise hate.”

Yoshika crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at Jiaying.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. If I tell you, it’s too much like agreeing to do it anyway. Don’t tell me either—just decide something between yourselves.”

Eunae frowned.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea...”

Jiaying shook her head.

“It’s the only idea we have. Just make it quick, okay?”

Eunae thought hard about what would work. Something simple that Pan Jiaying would hate, but forgive her for. She didn’t know her well enough yet! Yoshika smirked and leaned down to whisper in Eunae’s ear.

“She can’t hear me right now, so this whispering is mostly performative. Have her kowtow and call me ‘master.’ She just recently said she’d never do that, so it should be fresh in her memory as something she doesn’t want to do.”

“Oh, Yoshika, that’s cruel!”

She snickered in a distinctly Eui-like manner.

“That’s the point. Let her blame me for the idea.”

Pan Jiaying swallowed nervously.

“Oh, I really don’t like the look of that...”

Eunae shook her head and sighed.

“This is your last chance to change your mind, Jiaying. Yoshika has put forth the full weight of An Eui’s deviousness into her suggestion, and I do not think you will enjoy the outcome.”

“Yeah, I figured. Just get it over with, please. And make sure you learn something from it.”

“Very well.”

Once more, she pulled back her veil and met Pan Jiaying’s eyes. She focused intently on the fiery claws as she gave her command.

“Pan Jiaying, kowtow once to Yoshika and call her master.”

It happened in an instant. A slight twitch of discomfort in Pan Jiaying’s face, and then one of the soulfire claws plunged deep into her soul. Somehow, thanks to Yoshika’s visualization, Eunae could feel her power as it pierced Pan Jiaying’s essence and forced it to bend.

It took less than a fraction of a second. Faster than Eunae could blink, Yoshika had already interceded to break eye contact, but the damage had been done.

Free from Eunae’s gaze, Pan Jiaying sat up neatly on her heels, put two hands on the ground, and touched her forehead to the ground with perfect posture.

“Master, I apologize for my previous rudeness. Please forgive me.”

The apology wasn’t something Eunae had asked of her, but perhaps Pan Jiaying’s own idea of kowtowing required it. Yoshika grimaced and knelt down to raise Jiaying’s head.

“No need for that. You’re entirely forgiven. How are you feeling?”

Pan Jiaying blinked.

“I’m feeling fine, Master, why do you ask? I was worried before, but I don’t think you picked something bad enough.”

Eunae felt the blood drain from her face. This was exactly what she’d been afraid of. Yoshika put a hand on Pan Jiaying’s shoulder.

“You don’t need to call me that anymore, it was just for the one little prank, alright?”

Jiaying nodded.

“I understand, Master.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“I...oh, by the emperor, I don’t think I can...”

Eunae squeezed her eyes shut and lowered the veil, but even with her eyes closed, she couldn’t hide from what the soul sight formation showed her. The gaping wound in Pan Jiaying’s soul stood out like a sore thumb.

“I’m so sorry, Jiaying. That was a mistake, I didn’t mean to—”

Jiaying held a hand up and shook her head.

“No! It’s fine, don’t blame yourself. I was the one who pushed you. Did you at least learn something useful?”

Eunae wasn’t sure she had. She’d been able to feel her power at work, but that didn’t mean she had a way to control it. Yoshika ended up answering for her.

“I think so, yes. It’s going to take some meditation, but there’s more to work with than we’ve ever had before. You did a great job.”

Pan Jiaying smiled brightly.

“Thank you, m—uh, thank you!”

Yoshika smiled back stiffly.

“No, thank you. And I’m sorry as well, for the record. I didn’t expect that to happen. Before we stop here, can you tell me how you feel about Eunae?”

No. Anything but that! Eunae knew that Yoshika was just trying to be thorough, but she didn’t want to hear it. Pan Jiaying shrugged, ignorant of Eunae’s panic.

“She’s great! Joining you was worth it just for the chance to meet her!”

Yoshika frowned.

“Right. Well, thanks for your help! Eunae and I are going to meditate on this for a while, we’ll let you know what we figure out, okay?”

“Okay! Good luck!”

Pan Jiaying stood to leave, and Yoshika turned to face Eunae solemnly.

“Well, fuck.”

Eunae couldn’t have put it better herself.