Chapter 28: 100. Warmth

“Jia, what in the names of all the ancestors took you so fucking long!?”

Jia bowed apologetically to Eui.

“Sorry!”

Dae stepped forward, head held high with a look of fierce determination in his eyes.

“My apologies. The delay was entirely my fault. I—”

“I don’t care, Hyeong! Jia, listen, while you were busy making out with Dae, I was giving these mages a piece of my mind about their failure to deliver on their promises. You’ve got to hear the idea that they just came up with!”

Jia made an indignant sound of protest that came out as more of a squeak than she’d intended. She had hoped that Eui might hold back on the teasing now that they had settled things, but it looked like she was sorely mistaken.

Magus Hwang harrumphed, shaking his head.

“I know you are young yet, but you are also mages and cultivators. Try to act with some of the responsibility that such power engenders, rather than like children. I have already warned you about impropriety, Miss An—it is only the relatively polite way in which you expressed your concerns that saved you from punishment today.”

Do Hye laughed sharply.

“Hah! Pay no mind to him, girls—that softie wouldn’t dare follow through with a threat like that. Feel free to call his bluff—I don’t care about formality anyway, haha!”

“Gh—you—don’t tell them that!”

Jia carefully schooled her expression and pointedly did not giggle at Hwang’s choked, sputtering protest. Dae looked a bit let down at being ignored after being so determined, but relieved that no punishment seemed to be forthcoming.

“In any case, Miss An is quite correct. Your arrangement with Magus Hwang and myself has been fairly one-sided, thus far. Though we’ve provided you with valuable information and advice—congratulations on breaking Qin’s seal, by the way—there have been some specific promises that Magus Hwang made that he has failed to keep.”

Jia didn’t miss the way that Do Hye seemed to dump all of the responsibility on Hwang Sung, who glared balefully at him.

“Regarding the modification of the Awakening Dragon Sect’s manuals—I’m afraid that Elder Qin has requested that we place that on hold. Since he is the dean of spiritual arts, we are forced to comply—he gets first say on your training in that discipline. That said, after thorough review, Hwang and I both agree that Awakening of the Dragon’s Heart can safely be practiced by Miss Lee without any modification.”

Eui huffed impatiently.

“We already know about all that! Get to the good part already!”

“Hoho, of course! Well, to keep it brief, we believe that we’ve made some headway on how Miss An might safely practice her control over the destruction element.”

Jia’s eyes widened with excitement, but then she glanced around warily for Tae In-Su—she didn’t want to share that much personal information about her cultivation with him. Magus Hwang guessed what she was thinking.

“We recognize the sensitive nature of these discussions, Miss Lee. Tae In-Su’s contribution is limited to clerical work in a separate office—collating data and such. We can send Master Hyeong to join him as well, if you prefer.”

The look of alarm on Dae’s face told Jia that the task was as mind-numbingly boring as it sounded. If even Dae didn’t want to do it—she shuddered—no wonder Tae In-Su looked so haggard.

“No, that’s alright. I don’t mind Dae hearing about this, as long as it’s ok with Eui.”

Eui shrugged.

“Doesn’t bother me.”

Dae sighed with relief, much to his master’s amusement. Do Hye patted the boy on the shoulder.

“Hoho, don’t look so distraught. I’m sure you’ve had more than enough disappointment for one day—I’d find something else for you to do.”

Jia grimaced at Do Hye. Had he been listening, or did he just know everything? Before she could get too infuriated by Do Hye, Magus Hwang began his explanation.

“Not too long ago, Miss Ienaga approached me to discuss an element compatible with both of your elemental affinities. I was quite surprised, as most martial disciplines don’t give any consideration to the interactions between elements—and besides that, Miss Ienaga is usually quite taciturn. In any case, as luck would have it, Lightning and Destruction are fairly close in composition, so I recommended the element of Warmth, which is—”

Do Hye rolled his eyes before interjecting.

“You’re losing your audience as usual, Hwang. Would it kill you to make your lectures even a little bit interesting?”

Magus Hwang’s hair-feathers puffed out in outrage.

“What’s wrong with my lectures!?”

“They are interminably long, for one, and as dry as a sand elemental for another.”

“There’s no such thing as a—!”

Do Hye ignored Hwang’s protests and turned to address Jia and Eui.

“What Hwang is trying to say is that the yin and yang aspects of your respective ki affinities cancel each other out. This is why Master Ienaga had you both begin practicing the Soft Fist Style. It’s almost paradoxical that two elements that are so active and aggressive would combine into something so gentle and serene, but magic is full of such wonders! We believe that this is the key to controlling the unruly element of destruction—at least as it pertains to you two.”

Jia hated to admit it, but Hwang really had been losing her, a bit. Do Hye’s explanation immediately caught her attention again. She still practiced Soft Fist with Eui every day, even after their bond had been restored and the seal on their domain was broken. After practicing it so much, it seemed like a waste to just abandon the technique now.

“We knew about that already, though. Our ki used to combine whenever we did joint body cultivation. I don’t see how this helps Eui practice with destruction, though.”

Magus Hwang was the one to answer her.

“The crucial factor is that we can’t allow the demonic core to absorb more destructive energy than it already has. Elder Qin has suggested isolating it from the rest of your domain, but you’ve mentioned that doing so causes it to lose stability and discharge its energy as deviations, correct?”

Jia and Eui both nodded. Eui tapped her chest to indicate where the core currently sat dormant, next to her heart.

“It keeps me alive when I’m using the destruction element, but it tries to kill me if I deny it. It fucked me up pretty bad when I blocked it from eating Jia’s soul.”

“Language, Miss An. That does match up with what little we know of demonic cores. All attempts to remove a core from a subject have resulted in the destabilization of the core and subsequent death. A core can be removed intact if the subject is killed first—but the less said about those experiments, the better.”

Jia felt a pit form in her stomach. Apparently Eui wasn’t the first demon that Goryeon researchers had studied, and from the sounds of things, they didn’t have a very good rate of survival.

Do Hye frowned at Hwang Sung, shaking his head.

“And now you’re scaring them—no tact!”

Jia wasn’t sure that Do Hye had any right to condemn Magus Hwang for that, but kept that thought to herself.

“What we are recommending is that the two of you—as Yoshika—practice your control of Miss An’s destruction together. Once the core is isolated, you may be able to neutralize the instabilities with Miss Lee’s lightning in order to practice safely—any mistakes during the training can be corrected in the same manner. This way, Miss An may master her element without fear of harming herself or feeding her demonic core.”

Jia could see now why Eui was so excited about this prospect. Her inability to practice the Six Arms of Asura had severely impacted her abilities—effectively dropping her from their team’s strongest single combatant all the way down to their weakest.

“That sounds pretty amazing, but are we sure it will work? The entire reason Eui even has that core is because of a ki deviation. My ki wasn’t able to neutralize the deviation back then, and we were forced to compress it into that core instead.”

The grand magus shrugged.

“Nothing is ever certain, Miss Lee. A deviation like that is the manifestation of a cultivator’s most troubled thoughts and emotions. Ancient cultivators thought that they were a form of demonic possession. One either drove the demon out, succumbed to it and died, or had their body taken over. That’s where the term ‘demon’ comes from. Perhaps, back then, either you or Miss An simply lacked the strength to truly overcome it.”

Magus Hwang scoffed loudly.

“Or maybe the Grand Magus’ pontificating is nothing more than a transparent attempt to sound profound. Regardless, the only way to know for certain is to make the attempt. If possible, I’d like to monitor the process—it could further our understanding of demons and deviations by centuries!”

Jia exchanged an uneasy glance with Eui before both of them shook their heads at the same time.

“We’ll try it, but we’d rather do it in private.”

“At least the first time—if it works, we can do a demonstration for you, but my ‘most troubled thoughts and emotions’ aren’t something I’m eager to show off.”

Hwang shot Do Hye an irritated glance, but sighed with resignation.

“That is reasonable, I suppose. Well then I will eagerly await news of your progress. In the meantime, we have a formation prepared to analyze a more typical example of basic cultivation—if you don’t mind...”

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The rest of the afternoon was spent doing a typical round of tests and demonstrations of their unified cultivation method. The magi got excited about something and furiously took notes during Yoshika’s demonstration of her regular cultivation, but it was otherwise an uneventful afternoon after that.

 

---

 

Jia and Eui were eager to try the new training method for controlling Eui’s destruction element. The inability to practice it without feeding the demonic core was the last major roadblock to their cultivation progress, and if they could clear it, then there would theoretically be nothing but time and effort stopping them from advancing to the third stage or even to the xiantian levels. They didn’t want to get ahead of themselves, though—Jia was very concerned about what Do Hye had meant about troubled thoughts and emotions.

It was no secret that both Jia and Eui had troubled pasts, and though they had both come a long way since they had first met, neither was arrogant enough to think that they had completely overcome their issues. If ki deviations were manifestations of those issues, then they were going to have to face them in a much more literal sense than usual.

What Do Hye had said about lacking the strength to overcome them resonated with Jia, somehow. She had no illusions—if she was going to help Eui overcome her inner demons, then she would also need to face her own. Naturally, Eui would want to help, but the same applied in reverse. Paradoxically, they both needed to solve their own problems before either could help the other—at which point it would be unnecessary.

Unless they cheated, of course. Jia and Eui had a unique bond that nobody else did—Yoshika. They could both face their demons at the same time, and hopefully conquer Eui’s core in the process. There was one puzzle that needed to be solved before that, though.

Jia lounged on one of the couches, her legs dangling off the edge and her head in Eui’s lap as she stared up at the ceiling with a frown.

“What are my most troubled thoughts and emotions?”

Eui smirked down at Jia, stroking her hair idly as they spoke.

“Am I supposed to actually answer that, or was it a rhetorical question?”

“Hmm...it’d be nice if you could. I feel like my mind’s been going in circles. I know I’m not perfectly well adjusted or whatever, but it’s really hard to think about my problems in specific.”

Eui cocked her head to the side and hummed thoughtfully.

“True. Okay, well for starters you have really low self-esteem. I think a big part of the reason you put so much trust in people so quickly is because you’re desperate for their approval—it helps fend off your own self-loathing. At the same time, you’re also afraid of affection from other people because deep down you don’t think you deserve it.”

Well, it turned out that psychoanalysis from someone who often shares a mind with you could cut pretty deep.

“Ouch. Tell me what you really think.”

Eui leaned down and kissed Jia on the forehead.

“I love every part of you, Jia—good and bad—and I am proud of you for trying to overcome your trauma.”

Jia’s face went beet-red. She hadn’t been expecting a response to that. Eui giggled and pointed at herself.

“Okay, now you do me.”

“What?”

“I just called out your deepest insecurities. It’s only fair if I let you take a crack at me, too.”

Jia frowned for a moment, but as much as it hurt, she knew that what Eui said was true, and hearing it from someone else really did help identify her problems.

“Okay. Um, you’re really angry. Pretty much all the time, at everything. It’s like it’s always there, just kind of simmering below the surface. Even when you’re happy, it’s just a temporary layer on top, hiding the anger underneath. I think most of your problems stem from that. You blame yourself for what happened to you, and every failure reminds you of that.”

Eui leaned back and grimaced.

“Wow, that really does hurt. I’m sorry, Jia.”

Jia shook her head.

“I asked for it, and so did you. Besides, if I was going to hear it from anyone, I’m glad that it was you.”

“Same. So now what? We just meditate until our problems magically disappear?”

Jia giggled and sat up, shaking her head.

“I doubt it’s going to be anywhere close to that easy. I don’t think we can make those problems go away, but we can acknowledge them, accept them, and overcome them, maybe. At this point, it’s in Yoshika’s hands.”

Eui sighed, but nodded her head.

“You’re probably right. It still feels weird to talk about Yoshika like that—like referring to myself in the third person.”

Jia sat cross-legged on the couch and scooted forward so that she was right up next to Eui, facing her.

“Shall we give it a try?”

“Right here in the living room? What would Yue think?”

Despite her protest, Eui also brought her legs up to sit cross-legged and turned to face Jia, joining hands. Jia rolled her eyes.

“She can think whatever she wants, I’ve given up on trying to convince her of anything. Besides, it’s just meditation.”

Eui raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“Right. Okay then.”

No further words were necessary as they both closed their eyes and synchronized their breathing. Within moments, Yoshika was deep within the realm of her own meditative state. Experimentally, she expanded her domain to encompass as much of the house as she could. Its range was much greater than her aura had ever been, enveloping the entire house and much of the grounds around it. She didn’t sense any other domains intruding on the space, and could clearly perceive Yue sitting on her bed, deep in her own meditation.

Good—there wouldn’t be any interruptions. Yoshika retracted her domain and focused it inward until her entire perception was focused entirely on herself. To her surprise, she almost immediately found herself within her soulscape. The familiar snowy field had changed significantly since last she saw it.

There was now a structure. Not much of one, mind you—just a walled-off, open-air outpost with a simple gate. The snow inside the outpost was unmarked and pristine, while outside of it, blood and bodies littered the ground, being gnawed on by an army of rats with beady, red eyes. It bothered her a bit, knowing that such a thing was an intrinsic part of who she was.

“You see more than before, yet understand less than ever. Mediocre.”

Yoshika whirled around, and in the strange way of the place found herself inside the outpost, staring up at the white cat, lounging atop the gate with its tail hanging lazily over the side. For the first time, she realized that the cat had no features—it was just a pure white silhouette with piercing, golden eyes.

“So that is how you see us? Perhaps we were too hasty in commending your perception.”

The spirit was as harsh as ever, but Yoshika knew there was no malice in it. It was part of her, and though it seemed to retain parts of whatever greater spirit it was a fragment of, it’s thoughts and emotions came from her. Whatever it thought of her, she thought of herself—it was just more honest about it.

“Hmph! Do not think we will praise you for understanding something so simple.”

Yoshika ignored the spirit’s chiding.

“Why are we here? We were planning to test a new training method, but we ended up here instead?”

“Tch. Such a clueless child. We haven’t gone anywhere—this is not a place. This is you—all of it. You have learned to better perceive yourself, and so you see more than you did. You see it now, because you are looking at it. Nothing more.”

Yoshika frowned.

“How am I supposed to meditate on my core like this? I can’t even sense my domain. I need to—”

The white cat leapt down from the gate and vanished into the snow beneath it. Yoshika felt something cuff her in the back of the head, but when she turned to look she found herself in front of the icy mirror, facing the cat as she had in the past—as if it were her own reflection.

“What do you think you are doing now, child? In your heart, the battle has already begun—one you have faced before, and lost. This time you have the means to see it, but we doubt that will be enough to survive the trial.”

Survive!? Yoshika suddenly felt extremely nervous. What had she gotten herself into?

“You had best prepare, child. They won’t wait for you forever.”

Through the ice mirror, behind the cat, Yoshika saw the red eyes lighting up. Dozens, then hundreds, then thousands all staring maliciously at her. She felt the hunger in them, but this time it was directed at her. For the first time, she felt the will of the other spirit that resided within her soul, as it communicated with her.

It spoke in Eui’s voice, but distorted—warped in a way that made Yoshika feel physically ill. The words slid off of her like water from a duck’s back, but the meaning clung to her like the stench of blood. They would be denied no longer. If Yoshika wouldn’t give them what they wanted, then they would take it.

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