Chapter 95: 164. Nightmare

A bloody field of corpses stretches before her in an endless tide of red, drowning out everything else. She strides across it, searching for survivors and recognizing the faces of the dead. Naturally she sees her victims—Sun’s fiance, the kindly traveller who had caught her robbing him, the mage from whom she’d stolen her invitation to the academy. It doesn’t end there, however. She sees Yan Zhihao, Miyata Toshiharu, Ozaki Keiji, and Tokuda Ryo—enemies whose deaths she caused by her very existence. She finds the demon hunters that she slaughtered so mercilessly, beasts that might have one day grown into people if left alone, the Goryeon border guards. More and more she finds familiar faces, each and every one as lifeless as the last as she desperately searches for a survivor. Her sister Lee Jung and her unnamed child, Boss Lee, the other children at the orphanage, her parents, everyone she’s ever known lies dead, friend and foe alike. Finally, she finds a single figure drowning in the ocean of blood, struggling weakly but still living. She rushes over to the figure and rolls her over to find Yoshika—her own face staring up at her in horror, pleading for mercy. With a flick of her wrist and a swipe of her claws, the plea is denied. Yoshika’s lifeblood is hot on her hands, but it’s the soul that draws her attention. Brilliant and powerful, radiating energy unlike anything she’s ever tasted. With this, she can finally—

Jia woke up screaming—both from the nightmare and from the pain of her essence rampaging out of control. Though she’d only just woken up as well, Eui was already embracing Jia tightly, stroking her hair and whispering gently into her ear.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re alright. It was just a dream.”

The physical contact and verbal reassurance helped, and Jia got her breathing under control enough to focus on her deviating essence. Eui continued to cuddle her while she meditated, until eventually Jia had managed to smooth out her essence and stop the attack. ‘Attack’ was really the only word for it. Jia could understand now why Qin called such deviations ‘heart demons.' Sometimes it really was like there was a demon living inside her, taking advantage of her moments of weakness to attack when her guard was down. When it was over, Jia wiped the tears from her face and settled into Eui’s embrace.

“Thanks Eui. Sorry about that.”

Eui smiled sardonically and kissed Jia on the forehead.

“You have nothing to apologize for, I’m just glad I could help. Are you going to be okay? I feel like they’re getting worse.”

Jia shuddered. Nightmares. She’d been having them ever since the descent, sometimes—as with this one—they were accompanied by essence deviations. Eui was right, as well—they were getting worse. After failing to respond to the premonitions they’d experienced before the demonic invasion, Jia and Eui didn’t dare discount such things as mere dreams, but even after meditating on it meticulously and even asking Jianmo to help search for foreign influence, they hadn’t found any cause. It seemed like they really were just dreams. Even more strangely, though Eui experienced them as well, they didn’t affect her in the same way.

Jia mostly avoided such dreams by just not sleeping, but sometimes she couldn’t resist indulging in a night of rest, snuggled up in Eui’s arms—especially after certain other nighttime indulgences with Eui. It wasn’t hard to guess what had brought this one on. Jia was still struggling to come to terms with killing the demon hunters that had attacked them. It was stupid, she knew—that had been self-defense, and they wouldn’t have hesitated to do the same to her. She’d thought that she had put it out of her mind, but in truth she had just avoided thinking about it. Jia knew that this was a problem that she was going to have to address sooner or later—there was no way she could oppose the gods without getting even more blood on her hands, and she’d be useless if she suffered panic attacks and nightmares every time.

“Jia?”

Eui’s voice pulled Jia out of the depths of her own mind, and she realized that she’d failed to respond to her lover’s concerns. Jia squeezed Eui’s body tight against her own and kissed her gently.

“Sorry, just stuck in my own head. I’ve definitely got some stuff I need to work through, but not today.”

Eui frowned a bit, but didn’t argue. They were expecting Tae In-Su’s arrival in Nayeong, and they would be meeting him later that day. Jia wasn’t sure what to expect, really—her only experience with the law was running away from it, while Eui’s had been a trial in which she had next to no agency. This would be the first time either of them experienced Goryeon law as something other than criminals and fugitives. After spending a few more luxurious minutes enjoying each other’s warmth under the sheets of their bed, the two of them got up and dressed for their meeting.

Jia’s collection of Goryeon clothing was mostly casual dress, but they had been provided with some fine silk mages robes that she had been happy to try on. Once donned, the robes gave Jia and Eui the appearance of respected mages—instantly recognizable to any Goryeon citizen. They were nice outfits, but Jia was almost tempted to forgo them in favor of their academy uniforms. They had worn Yamato style clothing during their stay there in order to fit in and put people at ease—for all the good that had done—but was that the message they wanted to send in Goryeo? Neither of them truly felt at home here anymore. In the end, their decision was one of practicality—their uniforms had grown rather badly worn, as even their enchantments failed to stand up to two years of constant use. After a bit of coaxing, they managed to get Heian to manifest with her own matching robes—her clothes were part of her, so she could have whatever appearance she wanted. Properly dressed for the occasion, Jia and Eui steeled themselves for what was to come, and left to meet Tae In-Su.

 

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Tae In-Su had been given a small office in the city hall to use for the duration of his stay—apparently a privilege afforded to him as a former administrator for the city. Jia felt a little bit nostalgic when he glanced up from the papers strewn about his desk as she entered the room. This time, instead of the contemptuous gaze of a man who knew his time was about to be wasted, he met her eyes with a look of quiet resignation and a small twinge of fear. He did a good job of schooling his expression before greeting her.

“Miss Lee, Miss An, please come in and have a seat. It’s good to see you are well! I must admit that until I saw you for myself I almost struggled to believe you were here. It’s a bit poetic, isn’t it? To meet again here of all places after all these years?”

Jia raised an eyebrow at Tae In-Su as she took a seat in one of the plush chairs that had been prepared.

“In the place where you ordered me beaten and thrown out of the city, you mean?”

Tae In-Su coughed awkwardly, averting his eyes and running a hand through his rough gray hair—an unfortunate color that came from his wolf-like spiritual expressions.

“Ahem, yes well—um, perhaps today I can begin to make up for some of the ways in which I’ve wronged you.”

Jia nodded. She didn’t really hold any ill-will towards Tae In-Su—in some ways she even appreciated the fact that it was the token she’d stolen from him that had changed her life and led to everything she now had. As eager as she was to discuss Eui’s status as an exile, she couldn’t help but indulge her curiosity.

“What’s happened since we’ve been gone? We were uh...stuck in the wilderness for a while, so we’re not really up to date.”

Tae scratched his head as he contemplated the question.

“I’m not sure how well I can answer that, myself. Tensions are rather high with the demons taking over the old academy grounds, and the descended gods, but for most of us rank-and-file types, rather little has changed. If you have more specific questions I’d be happy to answer them.”

Jia did, but Eui beat her to the punch, scowling derisively at Tae as she spoke in a venomous tone.

“You’re still under Sun’s thumb, aren’t you? How can you expect us to trust you with something like this?”

Tae shrugged helplessly.

“Unfortunately, yes. I’ve been cursed with her attention for years now. I’m shocked she hasn’t fired me by now, the way she’s always complaining about me. For better or worse, though, I remain under her family’s employ.”

Eui snorted, amused by some private joke that Jia would have to ask about later.

“And if you’re working for her, then why in the ancestors’ names would you be here, helping us?”

“Well, Miss An, aside from righting the wrongs perpetrated against you and Miss Lee, I am in fact here at my lady’s behest. You should have seen her after receiving Hayakawa’s letter. I don’t know what it said, exactly, but she was hysterical. She was convinced that you were going to enact revenge on her and her clan unless she could placate you somehow.”

Eui scoffed, but didn’t deny the accusation. Jia took the opportunity to interject with her own questions.

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“Have you seen Dae since the descent? Did you get into trouble as one of Do Hye’s apprentices? How is Magus Hwang doing? Have you heard any news about Eunae?”

Tae held up his hands.

“Slow down, Miss Lee! My former brother-in-craft is doing quite well as far as I know. He’s found some cushy job in the palace at Songdo. I expect you have your mutual friend, Princess Seong Eunae, to thank for that. I haven’t heard much about her specifically, I’m afraid—they don’t call her the forgotten princess for nothing.

“As for Do Hye...well, that’s a complicated situation. I was quite quickly cleared of any suspicion, but apparently his betrayal was quite extensive. I’m not privy to the details of the investigation, but as I understand it, Magus Hwang became rather deeply involved once he was cleared of suspicion himself. Perhaps you’ll have a chance to speak to him in Songdo, once you arrive. I’m sure he’d be very interested in speaking to you.”

Eui crossed her arms and glared skeptically at Tae In-Su.

“You seem pretty confident that we’ll be allowed into the capital. I’m still a wanted criminal, you know.”

Tae managed to face down Eui’s death-glare with a smile, despite the small tremble in his hands.

“Well, that’s what we’re here to discuss, is it not? I’ve researched the laws extensively, and I’m quite confident in our case.”

Jia failed to hide her surprise as she regarded Tae In-Su in a new light.

“I didn’t know you practiced law.”

He shrugged dismissively.

“I don’t—at least, not actively. I do need to know the laws in order to represent the Sun clan as a bureaucrat, and I am qualified and registered as a licensed barrister. It’s a prerequisite for administering a city, you know.”

She did now. Tae In-Su ignored Jia’s blank stare and launched into an explanation that he must have had prepared.

“Strictly speaking, the brand of an exile does not legally bar you from entering cities—it just physically bars you from doing so. Now, naturally there’s nothing we can do about the cultural stigma surrounding such brands, but for the common populace it should be sufficient to just hide the mark. Most mages will recognize it right away, however, so we’re going to need to get you some proper identification—in theory, no more difficult than arranging for the passports of Miss Hayakawa and her retinue.”

Eui continued to glare.

“I’m sensing a ‘but’ here...”

Tae nodded in acknowledgement.

“Unfortunately, as you have guessed, it’s not all quite so simple. When a sentence of exile is imposed upon a convict, the charges against them remain open. Though it is not technically illegal for an exile to enter Goryeo, should they find some way to do so, they remain as wanted criminals. I dare not speculate why such a loophole exists, but it’s been well known for decades without ever being patched up.”

Tae In-Su’s uncomfortable expression indicated that he probably had speculated about why there was such a loophole. It also helped explain why Jia met exiles before—they were probably used as under-the-table enforcers for nobles who could hold their charges over them indefinitely while they represented their less scrupulous interests. Tae In-Su went on, unaware of Jia’s brooding.

“What this means for you Miss An, is that now that you’ve returned to Goryeo, you are effectively still wanted for your crimes. Worse, as you’ve already been tried, if charges were pressed you would simply be resentenced with prejudice. As a rogue mage charged with the murder of a noble mage, the sentence would most certainly be death.”

Eui glowered angrily at Tae.

“You’re not exactly selling me on your optimism here, Tae.”

“Then allow me to alleviate some of your concerns—the Sun clan has formally dropped all charges against you. I filed the paperwork myself before I even left for Nayeong. They are quite content to sweep all of this under the rug and forget anything ever happened.”

“How convenient for them now that their reputation is safe and my life is already ruined. Of course they don’t want to bring their ‘shame’ back into the limelight.”

Tae In-Su grimaced at Eui’s bitter comments.

“Well, perhaps so, but in this case it’s also to your advantage.”

Eui grunted in acknowledgement and sat back in her chair, but Jia frowned as she considered what Tae was saying.

“If the charges are dropped and Eui can get a passport, then what’s the problem? Why do you even need to be here, except to deliver the message?”

Tae In-Su sighed miserably and shook his head.

“Well said, Miss Lee. There is indeed one final complication. It’s a relatively small thing, but the Yeong clan—the family of the, erm, victim—are likely to dispute the Sun’s right to unilaterally drop the charges. A motion which they are almost certain to win without intervention.”

Jia felt her blood go cold.

“How is that a small thing? Aren’t we back at square one?”

Tae shook his head and smiled.

“No, not at all. I did say ‘without intervention’ did I not? That’s why I am here—to intervene. Just leave everything to me!”