In the morning, she was like a rabbit running away from a predator, but now she was bravely meeting the intensity of his eyes. With subtle appreciation for it, Pel spoke his true feelings this time, picking his thoughts and wording them exactly as is.
“You’ve changed a lot.”
“How so?”
“This morning you were uncomfortable because of me.”
“Oh, that…” Levisia’s expression was neither denial nor desire to make excuses. This confirmed Pel’s feelings and observation. “What’s different about me now?”
“Now…” Pel saw his own reflection in her enchanting green eyes. He felt that he is exactly where he should be in her sight. “It seems like you’re looking at me the right way now and truly seeing me for the first time.”
Did she? Is this the day when Levisia finally has eyes for him?
“And seeing you like this is so much―” Pel continued being truthful in expressing his thoughts even at the risk of confessing what he truly feels for her. Yet, some senses in him pulled him back and made him swallow the rest of the words as they were about to slip from the tip of his tongue. He sighed deeply and turned his head away from her face. “Forget it… Let’s head down.”
Away from Levisia’s gaze, he was able to breathe and untangle his thoughts. As he turned his back on her, he felt a tap on his shoulder.
“I knew you would catch onto me.”
Pel wanted to say the same thing about her, catching on to him more often than he did her, but he couldn’t, so he just steered the conversation to a different direction.
“So why did you act that way then?”
“That’s just what I felt at that time.”
That? What was that? Pel looked back at Levisia, who was about to gloss over the situation.
“Then how come now―”
At that very moment, as if on cue, the wind gust over, shaking the trees nearby. As the rustling leaves fell and danced with the wind, so were their shadows under the moonlight. Then, her pink lips opened.
“Because you’re special.”
The strong wind couldn’t drown the voice he heard ever so clearly. A part of him tried to retain his innocence and pretended not to hear or not believe any of it.
As he was about to say something, Levisia’s hood fell down, knocked off by the wind, revealing her long silver hair that was now flipping and tossing in the air. Her eyes, looking at him intensely, were slightly warped under the moonlight.
“I’ve decided not to waste our precious time.”
Hearing this, Pel, who distracted himself by placing her hood back over her head, froze, so was his breathing. As the wind, as if on cue again, slowly hushed over and grew quiet, his hands fell.
He felt a twirling heat coming from the back of his neck and climbing over both his ears, making him flushed and burning red. Feeling extreme heat when he was facing in front of the palace was nothing in comparison to what he was feeling right now. It was as if he was boiling from the inside out. She had said something like a confession, and Levisia winked for no reason.
“Let’s just go.”
Levisia just turned her back at him casually and began to go down the hill from where they have been standing. Pel stood there dumbfounded, unable to move. All he could do was stare at her back until he was able to manage taking steps down to follow her.
‘This is seriously…’
He was mad.
Levisia, with her indifference — as if the words she uttered did not carry too much weight on Pel’s heart — was not done yet.
“Right, we are lovers.”
Thump!
That was when Pel felt his heart finally rolled out of him and fell on his feet. Today alone, he had been into so much emotions that he couldn’t figure out what was real in what he heard or what was made up. He was doubting too much about the situation between them, that he couldn’t figure out what to make out of it.
‘You can’t be serious…’
Determined to confront Levisia, he turned around to face her, only to be met with the same calm expression. Again, caught in the enthrallment of looking at her, he was shaken by what she said and the underlying yet obvious meaning behind it.
“Was it that bad?”
“What do you mean?” Pel, determined not to be swayed again, insisted for an explanation.
“Pretending to be lovers.”
His heart sprinted as soon as he understood. Pel, feeling suddenly numb, looked down at his frozen legs and coughed. What was going on today? What was wrong with him being easily swayed by meaningless and empty words from Levisia? Very well, she could speak as casually and passionless as she could, for all he cares. She, likewise, didn’t mean anything to him.
“There was no need to go that far.”
“Because you think I like wasting money. We could have at least saved a few coins.”
‘That’s right.’ Pel was almost ready to put an end to this absurd pretense. ‘What was I expecting?’ All of a sudden, Pel realized that he had been feeding himself delusions that fired up his thoughts, and he quickly poured out cold water into such thinking. If not, his mind will fly a million miles an hour — expecting, wanting, and demanding for something that will never be real.
“Anyway, just try your best to take care of it. By the way, is this the right path?” Pel came to his senses when he heard Levisia and her casual tone again. Looking ahead, he saw the plaza square filled with people.
‘Besides…’
Being out of his mind and fixating over Levisia, he failed to pay full attention to his surroundings. He did not notice the eyes that have been glued to them all this time.