Chapter 18: Chapter 18: We must take stock of the situation and also consider the stock of our stockpile

“The times I've failed?” The woman shakes her head. “More than I can count. By the grace of the gods above, I am still here. But many others were not as fortunate as I have been.” She reaches down, grabbing some prayer beads from her pouch and lets them run through her fingers. She stares at the floor. “My first party, I found by myself, after I came of age and was given the class of priestess by my faith.” She shakes her head and stays silent for a time. “My second party, I found after I was too weak to save the first.”

The beads spin around for a time. “This tragedy was my first crisis of faith,” she explains. “Why would the gods raise me to be a priestess, teach me how to heal and cure the hurt and then, on my first breath of freedom, show me that I was simply ineffective at doing either of these things?” she asks.

I do not feel as if she is asking me.

“Four people died that day, because we went too deep, after I had promised that my healing was up to the task. It wasn’t.” She sets the beads back down into the pouch. “After returning alone, I whipped myself for as long as I could, as penance. After my arm gave out and my other arm lost its strength too, I asked my sister in faith to continue my punishment for me. She did no such thing and instead, restrained me and tended to my wounds.”

The priestess lifts her head, staring up through the stained glass windows behind us and remains quiet for a while.

“Through the weeks that followed after that, she became my caretaker and soon my dearest friend and then more.” The priestess shakes her head. “I think I have come to understand that this was the gods’ plan all along and, despite what I had felt then and even now for those poor souls, who were given up at the altar for my lesson, I thank the heavens for blessing me with the life I have gotten to live.” She rises up from her seat. “From every failure, there is something to be gained, if you dig deep enough.”

She leaves the room, walking towards another priestess who is waiting outside. I notice the old scars visible on the nape of her neck.