Chapter 3: 3

His mouth smiled softly, yet his eyes did not. His golden eyes seemed like those of a savage beast at night. It made me feel like prey, so I lowered my head to avoid him.

“I want you to worry about yourself more than me.”

Rashid’s voice rang through my head. I wasn’t so dull as to be unaware of how he actually felt. I was just baffled by his indifference and hostility, which he showed clearly. It’s not that I wasn’t aware of why he married Alyssa; rather, I know from the novel that Alyssa is Rashid’s first love. 

But what’s with this situation? 

He was far more intimidating than how I imagined him to be. 

He told me to worry about myself. I suppose the novel simply provided a hazy depiction of what truly happened. Rashid Pennon is a powerful man, so it seemed weird that a fragile lady who had drowned once was concerned about him in the first place.

‘But… I also felt the same way as him.’

My anger grew as I thought about it over and over. I recalled the time when Alyssa lived with anxiety, but she needed to raise her head and hide the feelings deep in her heart. Things like fear, grief, sorrow, inferiority complex, and loneliness had kept her on a tight leash.

“No,” I said quietly. 

My voice came out once I had gotten my feelings under control.

“It certainly is hard to be nice to a husband who doesn’t care about my well-being and never says the truth.”

I reflected his words back to him like a mirror, and Rashid narrowed his eyes.

“Wife, are you angry?”

His expression, which was as calm as still water, twitched slightly. It was very subtle but I can notice it. Perhaps it was the first time his wife treated him this way. 

The Alyssa Pennon that Rashid knows is a gentle and feeble wife. 

She was a reserved and cautious lady who was fully conscious of her position in this political marriage and would not dare to oppose him. 

Alyssa is certainly such a person. Well, used to be.

“How is that possible? I’m simply grateful. I’m worried that Your Excellency is wasting your precious time because of me. You’re too busy to care about your wife.”

“You’re angry.”

“Do you think it’s something to get angry about?”

“It’s not like you.”

It was an overused phrase.

“Do you have any idea what I’m like?”

“…….”

“Is that who I truly am?”

How much does Rashid know about Alyssa? Is it really Alyssa that he knows? I’m not sure but he said the word ‘not like you’ lightly.

“I think you need more rest, wife.”

“So, I…”

When I took a deep breath before replying… Drip. 

A small amount of watery liquid flowed down from my nose and swiftly made its way down to my lips. Ah, this familiar sensation, this sensation is unmistakably…. 

As I wiped the corners of my mouth with an unpleasant feeling, blood was all over my hands. 

Oh my, it’s a nosebleed? 

I could feel something flowing down from my other nostril. The blood was poured out instantly as it wet the blanket. 

I became disoriented at the sight of blood. The world started spinning and I kept feeling dizzy. My vision was getting dark gradually. 

As I began to sweat profusely, the sound around me was muted. No, what’s wrong with me? Why…

“Alyssa!”

Before I passed out, I heard Rashid calling my name.

* * *

“Louise, water…”

“Yes, ma’am. Wait a minute.”

I could still feel the blood rushing through my veins and my heart kept pounding wildly against my will. Finally, after drinking a glass of cold water, I felt a sense of relief.

“Sigh…”

Laying down again, I let out a deep sigh.

After collapsing and having a nosebleed in front of Rashid, I’m back to lying on the bed again. 

The doctor who examined myself thoroughly, concluded that it happened because of a sudden rush of blood to my head. 

It’s because my body hasn’t fully recovered yet. 

The doctor, as always, asked me to keep my composure because of my weak body.  

It’s not because of excitement… but if the doctor said it, so be it. 

I was also worried because I was too thin.

“Are you better now?”

“Yes, I don’t feel dizzy anymore.”

“How could you collapse in front of His Excellency when he hasn’t been here in a long time?”

“I know right…”

Louise sat on my bedside and criticized me.

To be honest, I didn’t like the way Louise spoke, it seemed as if she was scolding me. But I chose to be silent because I felt embarrassed. 

Still, it’s a relief that I had been sick before.

If I were well, people would think that I fainted from the excitement of meeting Rashid.

It was nothing like that, but rumors sometimes spread ridiculously, so we never know.

“His Excellency left and told me to take care of you well.”

Oh my, really? What a surprise… I stared blankly at the ceiling. I lost a lot of blood and didn’t feel well.

“I’m telling the truth, he was very worried about you,” Louise wiped my forehead with a wet towel and said nicely.

She continued, “This is why I felt uneasy about you being left alone.”

“Huh?”

“I’m worried about you. You can’t do anything by yourself. But I’ll take good care of you, so don’t worry.”

“Ah, yes.”

I think the timing was right for me to say thank you, but the words won’t come out. 

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When I heard it at first, it sounded warm, but I could also see her expression. Louise often said this before.

Alyssa is a fool who can’t do anything without Louise, was the underlying meaning behind those words. It was as if I only needed Louise.

“That’s why from now on…”

“Louise.”

I quickly raised my hand and cut off Louise’s words.

“Bring me some warm tea.”

“…Yes, ma’am.”

Louise’s expression showed discontent. But I stared at her with determined eyes.  She soon withdrew obediently from her seat. 

Now that I see it, she never tried to hide her intentions. The real Alyssa should’ve also known to some extent. 

At last, I was left alone in the bedroom, staring blankly out of the window and drowning with important thoughts. 

Eventually, I met Rashid Pennon. A person whose name is mentioned as the male lead in the novel ‘Unavoidable Destiny’. 

Although Alyssa was known as his first love in the novel, it was a title that was bestowed upon her when she was dead. 

I remembered his cold attitude and his vigilance. 

The immense pressure he gave off was stifling. It was an intense first encounter that was really hard to forget.

Facing him, he completely felt like a stranger. 

I came into a world that I once thought only a fiction. The world, which was only a fiction, became a reality. It was an unfamiliar land and I was afraid of it. 

I felt like the spilled ink on paper. She should have disappeared, but she was replaced by me instead. 

What should the uninvited guests, who have erased the pillars of the plot, do in the future? 

Anxiety filled my mind because of the future that I could not imagine.

Originally, it was about 15 days after Alyssa’s death. 

It was probably around the time Rashid was passionately remorseful. 

But Alyssa, no, I’m not dead now. 

Therefore, Rashid could not realize his feelings for Alyssa. His regrets will go to waste. 

Alyssa is not dead, so the duchess’s seat is not vacant. 

What if Priscilla, the female lead of the original novel, appeared in that situation? 

Even if Alyssa is alive, Rashid will probably fall in love with Priscilla. 

It was a fate that was bound to happen. 

What will happen to me then? 

At this rate, I’ll be a problem. I’m no longer just a stumbling block that didn’t exist anymore.

‘But I can’t drown in the river again.’

I was worried about the story moving away from the original that I know, but I don’t want to keep the original at the expense of myself. 

No way, is the world going to kill me for being alive? 

I’m afraid that I will be forced to disappear at this rate. I need to take care of myself. I refuse to die miserably twice. 

There is a long way to know how to return to my world, and in a way, it is my second life. 

I just rented her body and shared her memories, but this was also a chance to live again. Even if it’s not the world where I was born and raised, I’m alive here at this moment.

‘I have to live a long and quiet life this time.’

My goal is to live comfortably in this complicated world. 

In order to do so, what should I do in the future? 

If everything in the future to come flows similarly to the original, I should not remain here. 

I could imagine Rashid, who was blinded by love, would kick me out for Priscilla. 

My position is still vague and when I think about getting kicked out… It felt miserable. 

Maybe I should just be thankful to be kicked out alive. Of course, I don’t want to die like Alyssa in the original.

‘I’m not the original Alyssa, so I can’t talk and act like her. That’s why I need to get out of here so they won’t get suspicious.’

That was my conclusion.

‘I have to leave this place. I need to find a way to be free as soon as possible.’

I need to avoid the male lead to make room for the female lead. 

Only then can I live peacefully, far from where the story will take place.

And when everyone has their happy ending, everything will be perfect. 

There are many variables in the story, but I already know the clear process that will lead them to their ending nonetheless.

‘All I have to do is keep the place next to Rashid empty.’

I need to think about how to make this plan work.

* * *

“Ma’am, I brought the tea.”

After a while, Louise returned with an elegant patterned teacup. 

The tea, properly prepared with the finest tea leaves, was surprisingly deep and rich in scent. 

The tea in my mouth flowed gently down my throat. 

I closed my eyes and savored the aroma of tea. It was a pleasant and happy thing to enjoy this luxury. 

Duke Pennon’s family is amazing in terms of wealth and reputation. It was a world unimaginable to the 22-year-old ordinary college student Kim Yeri. 

At first glance, the duchess’ bedroom was relatively simple in interior and decoration compared to this family’s wealth and reputation. However, if we look closely at each one, everything was luxurious. The dark wood furniture, carpet with delicate patterns, and chandeliers with elegant designs reflect the sunlight and sparkle brilliantly. 

I never thought I’d enjoy such a luxurious life. 

And to think that it is something I received because of drowning.

‘I’ll be parting with this mansion soon, but I’ll have to enjoy it a lot until then.’

When I sipped the tea with that thought… 

[Alyssa’s face while drinking the tea was pale like a withered flower.]

…Huh?

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