Chapter 91 - My Identity

“Nothing,” I replied.

Yes, there was nothing. Let’s be calm again. I shouldn’t play into his schemes anymore! I’m Marina von Harrant, daughter of my proud parents and the up-and-coming government official of the Chancellor’s Operations department. I’ll be a high-ranking official in the future, so I shouldn’t be withered down by something like this.

“I see, okay.”

Rave’s voice felt a bit stern, but it wasn’t time to think about that. My mind was all tangled up, so I didn’t have the time to think about others. Yes, no matter what comes at me, I’ll take it on! Now, come on!

***

It was only a few days after I had made that proud declaration, the Crown Prince called for me every single day for some weird reason. But he didn’t make me do anything when he called me. He just drank tea or dragged me out to walk to the garden and ordered me to sit while he worked. I felt like I was getting a headache from this continuous daily routine.

“Your Highness, I apologize, but I think I should return to my office-”

“Sit. I didn’t allow that,” interrupted the Crown Prince.

Every time I had nothing to do, I tried to return to my office, but he didn’t let me go. ‘Damn it, damn it! If you call for me, either bully me or ask me some questions on policies or something!’

 

The Crown Prince was staring at me as I sat down with a look that I couldn’t interpret what his intentions were. The problem was that it frustrated me. Think about it. You have a supervisor peering at you while having nothing else to do. You can feel him staring. What kind of person would like that? Maybe it was because of that my heart kept racing. It was because I was feeling mentally oppressed.

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But he still certainly is handso… AHHH Marina, you crazy woman! Wake up!

In my honest opinion, I wanted to give up on my proud declaration, or whatever. I wondered how much he hated me to think of such fresh torture.

‘I can’t do this anymore! I can’t live like this!’

I had to come to terms today. I must! “Your Highness, if I’m vacant from my seat as a policy officer, there’ll be trouble with our work.”

“Then, the Operations department is of no use. To have a problem just because they’re missing a mere official?”

I felt rage coming because of his sarcasm. Didn’t you recognize my talent before? I felt betrayed at the thought he had looked down on my work. What is this emotion? My mind went hot while my heart went cold.

Yes, now I know. I was angry. Just because of the words “mere official.” Oh, Your Highness, there is a problem if we don’t have a mere official. If I, an official, can’t approve the job that I’m responsible for, then the policy will affect the country, not the people the most. There were loads of work that I had to work on that needed to be delivered to other departments, and you say a “mere official.”

“Your Highness, just tell me honestly that you want to bully me.”

I felt like crying when I said that, especially when I said the word “bully.” Elise and now the Crown Prince… What have I done wrong that makes me hate myself so much?

 

It felt like the compliments and what I had shown him as a government official had become worthless. I thought that maybe I was a bit special among the other officials to him. Or that I was talented enough for his recognition. I even felt excited when he called me out yet agreed with my answer.

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