Ch2 - Longing for a long time

I bent down to pick up the fruits which were scattered all over the ground, placing them back in the basket. I attempted to appease my mother, “Don’t be angry alright, look he’s already gone. If you don’t want to eat fruits, you can eat the Tianjin pancakes I bought you. They taste great.”

She tightly clenched the sheets within her fists in response, her eyeballs popping out slightly due to anger, making her eyes so big it was slightly unsettling. 

“He just brings bad luck! He’s a parasite! Someone who bites the hand that feeds them!”

I placed the fruits basket on the floor and sat on the bed, playing the role of the perfect audience. I listened to her using every iteration possible to curse at Sheng Min Ou without butting in.

 

 

I never knew she could curse at someone so vehemently like this, and without even repeating the same phrase. It seemed like she’s had plenty of practise these past years, with outbursts of profanity now becoming a second language to her.

The nurse was unable to hide her astonishment at my mothers rapid firing of obscenities. She probably would never say Lin Laoshi was the terminal patient with the most charisma again, as the Lin Laoshi right now honestly did not have a trace of charisma within her. 

On the way home, there were still very few people on the bus and I held in my lap the fruits basket. I had lied to my mother previously saying that I would throw it out, but really I was going to bring it home so I could eat it myself.

 

This basket was at least a few hundred renminbi, it would be a pity to throw it out.

I looked at the view outside, a blur through the windows, and my thoughts started unravelling uncontrollably. I thought about my mother and then to the future, until I eventually ended up thinking about the man who I hadn’t seen for a long time.

Sheng Min Ou was adopted into my family when he was three years old, and the reason for his adoption was no other than the fact that my parents were unable to conceive a child of their own.

 

However, just like many families who were struggling with having a child of their own, once the couple decided to finally adopt, they were met with a surprise pregnancy.

There wasn’t even time for Sheng Min Ou to have his name changed, all his legal documents and adoptee certificates had just been processed when my mother was found to be pregnant.

Once she knew, she wanted to immediately terminate the adoption process, but my father did not agree. He felt sorry for Sheng Min Ou, and could not bring himself to hurt the young child again by being the second set of parents to abandon him. He also firmly believed that it was Sheng Min Ou that breathed new life into the Lu family, bringing forth fertility and good luck, and if this child was mistreated, then the whole family would receive great misfortunes.

 

Although my mother was not a teacher, she had worked in the finance department in primary school and so all her colleagues would politely refer to her as ‘Lin Laoshi’. Being a believer of science and education, she did not believe in the outdated superstitions of my father at all and his rationale to keep Sheng Min Ou, resulting in a huge fight, to the extent where they almost divorced. 

There was no real problem in their relationship, other than the fact that neither of them usually took a step back when there was an argument. In the face of a fight that was blowing up with no clear resolution, even now I have no idea how the two worked it out back then, but in the end my mother decided to concede and allow Sheng Min Ou to stay.

However, that was all the compromise she was willing to give, as Sheng Min Ou effectively became an unnecessary extra in the house.

Instead of saying he was part of the family, it would be more apt to describe him as an outsider who was living off our charity. My father treated him fine, however my mothers disgust towards him was evident, as she never considered him as a son, but rather simply a mass of air that had a name attached.

As a young child I was immature, so I used to relish in the favoritism shown by my mother. I would hold a toy cake that she bought for me, and show it off in front of Sheng Min Ou, whilst taunting him by asking him if he wanted it or not. 

Sheng Min Ou would always look at me with a blank expression on his face, his ink black pupils appearing perpetually cold. Each time he was approached by my cowardly self pretending to respect him by ‘offering’ toys, he would not hesitate in telling me he was uninterested in the toy, and then leave without offering a second glance.

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After I grew up, I realised that when Sheng Min Ou looked at me, he probably gave me the same glance as he did with idiots.

Lf vlrilxfv wf, P mbeiv offi la.

Snfgs alwf P aglfv ab jma eq jgbecv tlw, bg lclaljaf mbcnfgrjalbcr klat tlw, P mbeiv offi atf jnfgrlbc ogbw tlw atja tf kjr agslcu ab mbnfg eq. Cr atf vjsr qjrrfv, P yfujc ab ofjg tlw rilutais. 

Pa kjrc’a jr lo tf cfnfg rwlifv jgbecv wf, yea gjatfg tlr rwlifr kbeiv cfnfg gfjmt tlr fsfr, jr lo tf kjr kfjglcu j wjrx ktlmt boofgfv j ojirf qgfafcrf bo qfjmf jcv tjgwbcs. Sjmt wbwfca jcv ufraegf bo tlw yflcu mbegafber ab wf kjr pera jcbatfg mjimeijafv wbnf ab meggs ojnbeg klat atf jveiar lc atf tberf, rb tf mbeiv mbcalcef tjnlcu j qijmf ab rajs.

This feeling of ‘dislike’ I sensed may have been more ambiguous when I was younger, but after I grew up, with ten years having passed, I eventually saw it for what it was.

 

Then, when I was ten years old, disaster struck for my family.

My father was on his way home from work when he was involved in an accident. He was caught under the wheel of a cargo truck along with his electric scooter bike, and when he arrived at the hospital he was barely holding on. The injury had been too grave, the bleeding too excessive, where even an immortal would have a hard time saving him. 

With his dying breath, my father grasped onto my mothers hand, and made her swear that she would raise both sons up properly, especially Sheng Min Ou, and fund his high school and university fees. Being husband and wife for decades, my father knew what kind of person my mother was.

Although my mother was reluctant to agree, faced with a dying person she could only nod and accept his wishes.

From then on she was widowed with two dependent children, and Sheng Min Ou became even more of a liability to her. Consequently, her attitude worsened towards him as her contempt and neglect for him only grew.

After Sheng Min Ou started living on campus, he would very rarely return home, only coming back when it was New Years or when it was the anniversary of my fathers death. During the winter and summers break, he would spend it outside working at his jobs. 

When he was in his final year of high school, he gradually stopped asking my mother for money, instead relying on the income from his odd jobs to fund for his living expenses and school fees, and even applied for a scholarship in university. My relationship with him was already distant and only drifted even more after he moved out.

When I was in tenth grade, he was already in his second year of university, attending the best college in Qing Wan City studying Law. He came back home even more infrequently, often just returning to eat a meal before going off in a rush again.

I had no choice but to use all of the tricks up my sleeve, asking questions from papers that I already knew back to front to have him help me, so he would stay at home for just a while longer.

While he was explaining the questions to me, I always admired the view of his side profile, seeing how the sunlight would hit his fluttering eyelashes, casting faint shadows just beneath his irises. 

Every time I was entranced by his good looks, I would marvel at whether his biological parents were fools, because how could a normal person abandon such a handsome and healthy boy.

From then on, I believed the deep affection I couldn’t push aside for him was just the attachment I felt for an older brother, a dependency born from the lack of a father figure in my life.

Until the appearance of Qi Yang.

You are reading story Flying Gulls Never Land at novel35.com

He would harass Sheng Min Ou, and thirst for his attention in greedy and despicable ways. It was as if I was looking at my own reflection. 

In that moment, I suddenly realised the deep feelings I had, the attachment I couldn’t push away, were all just manifestations of desire. I had longed for Sheng Min Ou for a long time, so much that I just wanted to hold him tight and never let him go.

In the ten years, I thought and mulled over a lot. Fundamentally, I was the same type of person as Qi Yang, both of us being caught up in our feelings for him, and not wanting to accept the reality where Sheng Min Ou ignored our existence. Except, he was more extreme in his doings, often surpassing my bottom line.

During my time in jail, the inmates were mostly distant with each other, but after spending a long time together often a few close relationships were formed.

In the 67th cell, I was most tight with three people: San Ge, Monkey, and Shen Xiao Shi. 

These people all came in after me, but all left before me.

San Ge’s real name is Wei Shi, a character with an outspoken and straightforward personality. Although he was a bulky man he had a sharp mind for business, so when he first came to serve his sentence he actually owned multiple massage parlours, with even more people under him.

 

In a moment of boredom, I asked him why he got sentenced. He ran his hands over his bald head, and cursed the person and his eighteen ancestors, for being the reason why he had to now serve five years in prison.

If I had to explain why he got sentenced, it would actually seem like quite the cliche drama plot. Wei Shi’s massage parlours were becoming more popular and expanded by the day, so it required constant connections to keep growing. He discovered an important contact, Da Ge, and if he could successfully network with him, then demand for his business would greatly soar, to the point where he could just bat an eye and still generate massive amounts of money. 

He and his business partner, who was also a good friend, came up with a plan to invite Da Ge to the casino for him to bet to his hearts content. If he won money, it would all be his to keep. If he lost money, then it would be paid for by himself and his partner. If Da Ge was happy, then their later negotiations would be infinitely easier as well.

Before going to the casino, everyone was in on the agreement and so they went with high spirits. Unbeknownst to them, Da Ge was the type of gambler who was seen only once in a thousand years, the type of person who would lose every bet, and the more he played the more he lost, until in the end tens of millions were gone.

For Wei Shi, these tens of millions were not a small sum. He had to use up all the cash on hand, and sold off several stores to make up for the amount, but they had successfully built a connection with Da Ge, so earning this sum back would not be a difficult task.

The problem came when his good friend suddenly went back on his words, refusing to pay for his half of the losses, and blamed the whole casino idea on Wei Shi. 

Wei Shi was forced to shoulder the full amount, and flew back to China barely suppressing his rage. The more he thought about it, the angrier he became, until a few days later late at night he suddenly ran over to that friends house, tied him up and threw him in a car that took them out of the city. He stopped at a desolate faraway place, and beat the partner up until he was fully satisfied, before leaving and selling the car off.

When the police found him, Wei Shi was yet to realise how serious the repercussions would be for the offense he had committed. For illegally detaining and possessing the properties of others, he was sentenced to five years in prison.

“Tell me I don’t have rotten luck, look at what kind of shit I had to deal with!”, he exclaimed as his eyebrows furrowed, the merciful expression of the Guanyin tattoo on his arm becoming twisted and sinister as his muscles clenched with anger.

I patted his shoulders, knowing it did little to comfort him. It would only be through telling him my story that would allow him to still laugh in this situation. 

After he finished listening, he looked at me in astonishment, and only motioned to give me a thumbs up after a while.

“As the saying goes, there is always someone out there who surpasses you. The person you had to deal with was an even bigger piece of shit.”

I smiled, “I agree, so you’re not the one with the most rotten luck.”

After that instance, we developed a camaraderie as if both of us were patients who found someone else diagnosed with the same illness. In prison, we both looked out for each other, and it was the same for when we left the cells too. 

On the day I regained my freedom, it was him and Shen Xiao Shi who came together to pick me up. Not only did they help me reintegrate back into society, but Wei Shi also asked me to go to his new store to become the manager there.

I heard ‘manager’ and thought this seemed like a title with a lot of responsibility, so I asked him how many people I would be in charge of.

He took a swig of iced beer and raised two outstretched fingers. “Two people, one in charge of finance and the other is just a normal shop employee.” He pointed at Shen Xiao Shi beside him, “This is your first employee. You’ll see the person in charge of finances tomorrow, she’s a beauty.”

A person with a business mindset and a sharp intuition would always get back up no matter the setback. After Wei Shi left prison, he decided to not take up massage parlours anymore, but opened two pawn shops instead. Both of them were doing very well, and I would be in charge of the third franchise. In the early stages of expansion, he was missing a dependable person he could trust to oversee its operations. 

“I don’t know anything about this though, you’re asking me to manage a whole store, and I can’t do that.” I spoke bluntly about my shortcomings, intending to reject his offer.

Apart from the reason I gave, I was concerned about my mother as well. In her last days, I wanted to spend more time by her side.

 

“You don’t understand, you have no experience and you didn’t finish your education. After you turn me down, how are you going to find a job that would be good for you? I know you’re worried about your mother, so here, I’ll enrol you in a course first, and you can learn how to determine the authenticity of the jewellery and goods shown to you. This course takes a month or two minimum, so after you’re done with that, you can decide on whether you want to still come to my chain to take up the job.”

Though Wei Shi looked uncultured, he spoke meticulously and did things in a manner that was very thoughtful for the other person. If I said no again, I would only appear ungrateful. 

It was a good thing I didn’t turn him down again, because after living in the ‘ivory tower’ for a long time, inflation had occurred far more rapidly than I had imagined, to the point where even Tianjin pancakes were more expensive now.

After my mother heard that I found a job so quickly she was extremely happy, and laughed that she wouldn’t have to worry about me being too lazy to find a job and being unable to provide for myself.

If she was able to witness my exuberance in even the most menial tasks over the past years, like folding my blankets, she would not have had this doubt cross her mind.

The course on authenticating jewellery and goods was not difficult, at least it was far easier than the classes taught in high school. It was mainly focused on teaching people how to quickly determine the authenticity of luxury bags and the various gold and silver items people would bring. Sometimes, when the instructor was caught up in their teachings of the class, they would even talk about international trends currently shaping the luxury goods. 

To summarise, trends were like the crazed outbursts of people, when it comes it’s fierce and furious, when it leaves it departs quietly and without a sound.

The course was completed after three weeks, and the academy even gave out a graduating certificate. The instructor left a message for every student who had graduated the class.

On my certificate it said, “To my student Lu Feng, your future shows infinite possibilities, and your hard work is bound to reap rewards soon. I hope you treasure this and I wish for all your endeavours go smoothly.”

Given his good wishes, if in the future I did become wealthy, I would definitely give him a big red pocket to convey my thanks. 

I returned home carrying the basket of fruits, and I had just finished pouring a cup of water for myself when Wei Shi called, asking me to go out for hotpot.

I could hear many rowdy voices in the background of his call, it seemed like the atmosphere was truly lively indeed.

I took the keys preparing to head out again, but at the door I lowered my head, catching a whiff of the scent that lingered on the denim jacket. A light scent of leather and sandalwood remained, though it was barely there.

I hesitated for a second before turning back to my room, taking off the jacket I was wearing and getting another one out from the closet, before rushing back outside. 

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