Ch25 - Never Land

Meng Xuan Jun appeared to be mistaken from seeing my reaction, as her expression became uncompromising, “You didn’t tell me the truth? What was Sheng Min Ou’s role in this event, did he plan everything?” Without waiting for an answer from me, she quickly denied her own assumption, “No, if so why would he take up the role as Luo Zheng Yun’s defence lawyer, that makes no logical sense. What the hell are you guys planning?”

I was afraid that she would come to think that all of this was just some scheme we had set up, a trap for Luo Zheng Yun to fall prey to. Once a prosecutor had doubts about the authenticity behind the charges being pressed, she had the power to dismiss the whole case. If that happened, then Luo Zheng Yun would really slip away unscathed. 

Although I was even more shocked seeing the tape than her, I could only push aside the complicated feelings and thoughts going on inside my head and focus on explaining the situation as best I could.

“I haven’t kept anything from you at all, on that day we happened to coincidentally meet. Prosecutor Meng, you can request and access surveillance tapes from when he entered the club to confirm whether or not he was there to meet me. These past few years, our relationship has been quite estranged, even though he… saved me, but at that time I was already about to pass out, and I had no idea who the other person was, he also did not have any intent to let me find out.” I stared at Sheng Min Ou’s blurred features from the surveillance tape and muttered, “I also just found out that it was him after all.”

 

 

It was honestly quite impressive that he managed to hold himself back when I cursed at him back then, comparing him to a rabid dog. With this level of acting, even Luo Zheng Yun would have to concede defeat.

“So you’re saying that at this time, he wasn’t aware of what had happened with Luo Zheng Yun?” Meng Xuan Jun picked up a pencil and tapped on the image of Sheng Min Ou on the screen. 

“He wasn’t aware.” I confirmed, then added on to my answer, “Before representing him in this case, there’s a chance that he might have not even known who Luo Zheng Yun was.”

 

Meng Xuan Jun’s expression instantly turned into one of incredulity.

“Really, he’s not the type of person to care about things like this.” Sheng Min Ou could flawlessly recite any world leader’s name, but he was never interested in what was going on for people and things he didn’t care about.

Meng Xuan Jun scrutinised me intently, deliberating over how trustworthy my words were to her, her hands flipping the slim pencil in continuous, fluid motions.

 

“The position that I hold now in court is not my ultimate goal.” She leaned back against the chair, her gaze scrupulous as she stared at me, “However, if I intend to continue clawing my way upwards, then I’d have to deliver results. In recent years, our country’s limited manpower has been unable to grow at the same rate as the new cases being lodged each year, so everyone feels the escalating pressures and burdens. The ability to not waste our country’s resources and execute a fair adjudication of the case has become one of the criterias set to determine and appraise a person’s ability.”

“I don’t want to make this case unnecessarily and overly complicated, so I will not be submitting this section of the tapes as evidence to court.” The movement in her hands stilled, as she leaned forward, “However, if I find out that you two are hiding anything else from me, then I will dismiss my charges. I want to win, but I also have my principles, do you understand?”

I composed myself, understanding that this was the final warning she was giving me. I realised that the ramifications behind this were more serious than I had expected, seeing that it had already shaken her trust in us.

 

“I swear, there is nothing else I have to hide.” I held three fingers up in the air and swore to the heavens. 

Meng Xuan Jun stared at me for a while, then tossed the pencil back into the cup holder, stating, “I’ll see you in the upcoming trial then, Mr Lu.”

I inwardly let out a deep breath as I got up and gave her a slight nod of my head, “Goodbye, Prosecutor Meng.”

After I left the Prosecutor’s Office, standing under the sun feeling the breeze blow past me, I actually felt like I had landed in another century. Who would’ve thought that in a short half hour, my emotions could go through such a rollercoaster.

As I descended down the steps, with each step I took it was harder to suppress the elation in my heart. Finally, unable to hold it in any longer I started holding my face in my hands as my laughter rang out. In the end, I sunk down to sit on the steps just so I could concentrate on laughing. 

Perhaps that scene was too bizarre to witness, as many people turned their heads towards me staring at the sight. I didn’t actually mind as I continued sitting there, laughing without a sign of stopping as tears even formed from the corners of my eyes.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Back then, who was the person who said that he’d rather marry a whore than sleep with me?

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“How amorous.” I fished out my cigarette and lit it up, sitting on the steps as I inhaled the smoke in.

 

I didn’t know what was going through Sheng Min Ou’s mind when he did this, did he find me too annoying, so he wanted to use these methods to shame and humiliate me?

Then he really sacrificed a lot on his end too, this was a classic case of killing a thousand men on the enemies’ side but losing eight hundred of your own. 

Or was it… he finally couldn’t suppress the desires in his heart, and that day he went with the flow and let out all his carnal feelings on me?

At this point in time, I really wanted to be a roundworm in Sheng Min Ou’s stomach, that way I would come to understand and be able to figure out what he was thinking without me needing to make wild guesses of my own, tossing and turning all day long.

Actually, my relationship with Sheng Min Ou had not been this bad in the past. In tenth grade he had actually been my tutor, and allowed me entry into his world.

The turning point of everything was that cat. The cat that had been killed by Qi Yang. 

Once I had buried the ginger cat’s corpse with Sheng Min Ou, along with the anxiety I felt towards wanting to uncover Sheng Min Ou’s secret, I felt indescribable hatred and malice towards Qi Yang’s clinginess.

Although back then I was only sixteen, younger than Sheng Min Ou by four years, I always believed that I had a duty to look after him. Back when my father was alive, he was the backbone of the family, the head of the house. Once he passed, I should’ve been the one who succeeded his position, protecting my mother, as well as protecting Sheng Min Ou.

So I went and sought out Qi Yang, and warned him to not get close to Sheng Min Ou again, otherwise I’d teach him a lesson.

Qi Yang was cornered in the narrow alleyway by me, and in his hand was a takeout order, his facial expressions completely devoid of surprise, only a keen interest. “I remember you, A-Sheng’s younger brother.” 

My expression darkened, as I lightly tossed up a broken half of a brick in my hand and caught it again, “Don’t refer to him so intimately, he’s not close to you.”

Qi Yang readjusted his black rimmed glasses, and placed his takeout order to one side.

“You like him.” These words left his mouth as he straightened his body again.

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I was stunned, stopping my action of tossing and catching the brick as I gripped it tightly in my hand, the corner of my lips twitching, “He’s my older brother, what did you expect, I don’t like him but I like you instead?” 

Perhaps it was because deep inside I always considered Qi Yang as a psychopath, so no matter from which angle I saw him he always appeared like a maniac to me. His smile which made others feel ill at ease, his complexion of a starkly pale white, and the way that he always talked to others, like he was mumbling incoherently half the time, all of these things made me despise him.

“No, I meant…” He changed his wording, “You and me are the same, we both have desires towards him.”

My breath stilled, as I clutched on tighter to the brick in my hand, moving closer towards him one step at a time.

“I’m different from you.” I uttered these words for him to hear, but it was also meant for myself, “I would never give him a dead cat as a gift.” 

I would also never try to drag him into the abyss, knowing he was hovering around the fringes of darkness.

Qi Yang disagreed, “But he liked it a lot.”

 

I moved and grabbed his collar swiftly, pressing him against the brick wall and raising the brick in my hand as I gave him a cold smile, “I think you would also like a beating.”

Qi Yang looked straight at me, his gaze reflected from behind his glasses lenses, and there was an indescribable sinister feeling from it. 

“You’re too pure, you still smell like you had just been breastfed, you’re a naive little brat.” He spoke, unfazed in the slightest, “You’ll never be able to have him like this. Monsters only like monsters, deviants only attract deviants, can’t you even understand this?”

His words instantly ignited a blistering wave of anger within me, I raised the brick in my hand… and smashed it against the brick wall behind him.

I didn’t know how many days of being exposed to the harsh heat and eroding winds the half a brick I held in my hand went through, but its structure had already deteriorated so it instantly crumbled at the impact, the parts broken off scraping the side of Qi Yang’s face as it fell.

The corners of his lips tugged upwards into a mocking smile, and his gaze at me seemed to say, ‘see, I told you that you still smelt like you had just finished being breastfed, you little brat, you can’t even stand the sight of blood.’ 

I tightened my fist around his collar, as I spat each word with venom, “Fuck your understanding!”, followed by a headbutt as I rammed my forehead into his face.

Qi Yang instantly let out a painful moan as he covered his nose with a shaking hand.

I backed away a few steps, seeing blood pour out from the cracks in his fingers as he squatted on the floor, and wiped my forehead in disgust.

“No matter what he is, he will never belong to you.” 

I turned and left, leaving Qi Yang alone in the alleyway. For the next few days I remained anxious, scared that the psychopath would run to Sheng Min Ou and tell him what had happened.

Fortunately, all was calm in the following days and the tutoring continued. Sheng Min Ou afterwards did not bring up anything related to Qi Yang.

Just like this, I buried my desires for him deep into the recesses of my heart as I searched for any opportunity to be alone with Sheng Min Ou. For the whole winter vacation, I was almost glued by his side.

I thought I hid it very well, but back then I was only sixteen years old, and I was too young and inexperienced. It couldn’t be helped… that there were times where I couldn’t hold myself back. 

On the last two days of winter vacation, after many days of shameless and insistent begging, Sheng Min Ou finally agreed to let me stay over at his place.

I was beyond ecstatic, unable to fall asleep the whole night.

Beside me was the body warmth I craved so much and for so long, even if the winter nights were cold, when I thought of him being so close to me, a thin layer of sweat would form all over my body.

I honestly couldn’t fall asleep, so I stared at his side profile in the darkness, and unwittingly raised my body so I could get closer to him and trace over his features more clearly with my eyes. When my gaze fell to his lips, I was slightly entranced by it, and my self control slipped as I held my breath and lowered my body, placing a featherlight kiss on the corners of his lips. 

This kiss was blissfully wonderful and addicting, enticing me to go further, like an opium poppy, making it hard for me to stay away. Yet just when I was about to snake the tip of my tongue through the crack in his lips, I abruptly came to and realised how dangerous my actions were.

I hurriedly raised my head to check Sheng Min Ou’s eyes, and discovered that he showed no signs of waking up from my harassment. My heart which was frantically beating and about to escape from my rib cage thus calmed down, and fell back to a normal pace. I let out a quiet breath in the aftermath of it all and returned to my side of the bed, finally being able to fall asleep in peace.

 

The sky was bright when I woke up the next morning, and Sheng Min Ou had already gotten ready, about to leave for work. I rubbed my eyes as I got up, and lazily stretched.

He reached for his keys in the drawer next to me, and accidentally nudged a book off as it fell to the ground. I bent down to pick it up for him, and he had the same thought as our fingers brushed against each other. Before I could react, it was as if he was shocked by electricity, as he swatted away my helping hand. 

I was stunned for a second, then retracted my hand, feeling slightly wronged.

He didn’t explain anything other than giving me a brief look, stating, “If you’re awake, leave by yourself.” After which, he returned the book to it’s initial place and left the place without giving another glance back.

After that day, he began to distance himself from me.

First it was because he was busy with his studies as they required his frequent attention, so he cancelled our tutoring sessions together. Then, regardless of whether I played dumb and no matter how shamelessly I acted, he refused to meet up with me. He had completely isolated me from his life, and did not allow me to step closer to him. 

Even a fool would come to realise that there was a reason behind such an evident attitude change, and I wasn’t a fool.

I suddenly realised that he knew everything. My delusions and my obsession with him. I thought I had acted without giving anything away, but he knew of it all.

When I was attending school, I remembered that my teacher had once told us this story.

Long ago, there was a fisherman, and every time he ventured out into the seas to catch fish, flocks of gulls would land on his boat, playfully spending time with him. His father found out of this occurrence and told him, “I heard that the gulls seem to really like being around you, they all flock to be by your side. Next time, go catch one and bring it back so I can play with it.” 

However, the next day when the fisherman went to the seaside, the gulls were just orbiting the skies above him, never descending to flock beside him.

The gulls detected the fisherman’s intentions, and so flew high above, never once landing by his side.

Sheng Min Ou also detected my intentions, and from then on, he was never close with me again.

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