Summers in Qing Wan city were always hot and humid, with frequent downpours. I shook off the water droplets on my umbrella as I retracted it and put it away. Near the entrance of the courts, there was an allocated area for storing umbrellas, so that the marble flooring indoors would be kept pristine irrespective of the horrid weather outside.
When I made my way to the trial, Shen Xiao Shi had already arrived, and on the other side sat members of the victims family. It was quite occupied, with relatives of various ages gathered, though all of them wore the same vexatious expressions.
“Lawyer Sheng informed me that my brother will appear in court as a witness for the prosecution.” Shen Xiao Shi said, as soon as I had taken a seat.
I recalled that his younger brother was still underage and had been attending a boarding school. When the case had happened… he hadn’t been home.
“He probably also feels deeply saddened by what had happened.”
Shen Xiao Shi kept his gaze trained on the empty witness stand, as he pursed his lips, nodding in response.
“I haven’t even been able to meet up with him alone yet. Following the accident, his grandparents picked him up from the boarding school. I attempted to speak to him several times, but each time I was turned away by relatives from his dad’s side.” Shen Xiao Shi’s gaze shifted to the other side, sweeping over a few middle aged men who took it upon themselves to sit in the very first row. He continued, his voice ominous, “They demanded one million renminbi in compensation for their loss, otherwise there will be no letter of understanding. Without the letter being written, they threatened that they’d keep my mother locked in there until her death.” At this, his hands which lay rested on his kneecaps ball up tightly into fists.
I could tell that he wasn’t in his right mind at the moment, and became worried as a result.
Receiving a letter of understanding was equivalent to coming to an agreement for compensation and settlements. With this, the judge would be more lenient in determining the sentence.
Back then, I also had one of these letters. I didn’t know how much my mother paid to obtain a letter of understanding from Qi Yang’s parents, but it was only with this that I received ten years in jail, instead of getting a sentence for over ten years as it should have originally been.
During the trial, the letter of understanding was not examined in detail, rather it was submitted to the judge for reference. After the trial had ended, I attempted several times to ask my mother how much she had paid the Qi family to obtain the letter. At first, she refused to reveal the amount, as she insisted for me to not worry about matters regarding monetary payouts. However, eventually after my incessant questioning, she admitted that she paid them five hundred thousand renminbi.
Five hundred thousand renminbi, it would be difficult even for a middle class family to hand over this much money upon a moment’s request, and therefore even more so for a family such as mine. When I asked her where the money came from, her words were vague, as she explained that she already had some savings, and after selling the house, she was able to finally make up the amount demanded.
A wave of unpleasant, guilty emotions washed over me when I heard that she had sold the house to reach the given amount. Though our house was rather dilapidated, it nevertheless contained the memories of our family for so many years. Each corner and mottled mark were symbolic of our everyday life, the ups and the downs.
No matter what happened to members of the family, as long as the house was still there, it was as if a ‘home’ still remained.
But now that the house was gone, and the male owner who once lived in this house had passed away, with the eldest son having grown up and moved out, and now with the younger son being behind bars… I suddenly felt as if the family and this home were really starting to fall apart.
My mother could tell that I was upset, and attempted to comfort me by saying that our house was not well lit, and that it was too big a place for her to live alone. She had long wanted to change to a place that was smaller, and situated on a lower floor.
In truth, I knew that this wasn’t the whole story. After what happened to me, there must’ve been a lot of gossip circulating in the neighborhood. She was the type of person who placed importance on how others perceived her, so how could she possibly endure the careless remarks tossed around in her proximity? I knew that the decision to move houses was also to run from the speculation and the pointed fingers.
“You don’t have to worry about money.” She held the phone and pressed her palm against the transparent pane in front of her, her eyes tinted slightly red, “It’s a matter of… since I owe you, no matter how I repay this debt it wouldn’t be a burden.”
The subject in this sentence was left blurred and ambiguous as she spoke these words. As the saying went, children are the debt incurred by their parents. I therefore subconsciously understood her words this way, and felt even more dismayed afterwards.
“No, none of you owe me, instead I owe all of you too much.” I gripped the microphone tightly, my words spilling out as frustration and dejection welled in my heart.
Ever since I had been born, all I had done was to continuously take from then, never once fulfilling my filial piety. The truth was, I owed them too much, and everything was my fault.
Not only did I fail to meet their expectations, but I also couldn’t fulfil their wishes. I wasn’t able to give up the one thing they wanted me to give up the most in this lifetime.
In this life, the fate I shared with them was too little, and everything I owed them, all the grievances and grace that they have shown me, I would pay back in the next lifetime, no matter what.
After a brief wait, the trial began. The prosecutor in charge of the case was a middle-aged man, and he made his opening statement in a textbook manner.
“The defendant in this case, Ms. Yao Jing, has brutally killed her husband, Tang Zhi Peng, of sixteen years, with an axe hidden in her home on the evening of June 17th. After the murder, she turned herself in and confessed to the crime and how it occurred. The defendant stated that the cause of the murder was sparked by various previous arguments at home, and, fuelled by emotions, as the murder was an act of impulse killing. The facts of this crime are clear and evident, and the testimony is complete. Ms. Yao Jing killed someone, and she should pay for her actions. As a prosecutor, I hope the jury can see that she is guilty, and convict her of first degree murder. She has committed a crime after all.”
Shen Xiao Shi’s mother was at the defendant’s dock, wearing an orange vest that signalled she was presently detained, taken into the state of custody. Her hair was a mess, her expression wilted, and she seemed almost unresponsive and out of it, only reacting to the events occurring at a much later time.
“Ms. Yao Jing did not commit an act of premeditated murder, rather, it was a justified act of self-defense. What had occurred was a tragedy, an accident that no one wished for to happen, however the main responsibility does not lie with my client. Ms. Yao Jing has been abused and tormented by Tang Zhi Peng for a long time, with this history of domestic abuse lasting for sixteen years. There was no such thing as ‘giving each other a helping hand’ in this relationship, in fact, the only time hands were involved was when bloodshed was caused. This marriage and all aspects of it, are soaked in the blood of Ms. Yao Jing.” Sheng Min Ou stood up, the rhythm of his speech and the control over his words impeccable, as if he was in the middle of a speech that he had prepared for a long time. “For sixteen years, she endured Tang Zhi Peng’s brutal punches and kicks again and again, without once resisting until this time…”
“The scene of the incident is none other than her home. What is bizarre or wrong with keeping an axe at home? The prosecutor here may not have done much housework at home, which is why they’re unaware of the fact that an axe is a necessary tool for preparing some ingredients. Ms. Yao Jing was responsible for cooking all three meals; breakfast, lunch and dinner in the family, so how can we regard an axe in the kitchen to be an item that was ‘hidden’?”
The prosecutor’s expression was sullen, as he readjusted his glasses, his complexion darkening.
“My client Ms. Yao Jing and I do not accept the accusation of this incident being premeditated murder. I hope that everyone on the jury will consider the history of Tang Zhi Peng’s long-term domestic abuse and the condition of him being intoxicated at the time when coming to an agreement on the case. What had happened was an action carried out on the most instinctual basis, because of him, she suffered severe physical and mental trauma. If she hadn’t retaliated, then she would’ve lost her own life. Further, I believe that any normal person would prioritise their own survival over others, and do whatever they can to ensure it.”
“Deiirtla!”
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Sheng Min Ou was hit by a ball of paper square in the chest, as his eyes lowered in response, before he flicked the collar of his suit, which was speckless already, as if he was removing the presence of something that had dirtied him.
The judge knocked the gavel several times, all of which ineffective in calming the Tang family. Given their insubordinate behaviour, he could only dispatch the bailiffs to forcibly remove the individuals that were most obstructive towards court proceedings.
The remaining people saw how the situation panned out and were successfully deterred from causing trouble again, as they sat down obediently and begged for the judge to not eject them from court.
The jury panel frowned as they observed the farce unfold, their perception of the Tang family falling to rock bottom.
With a grim expression, the judge refrained from ordering the bailiff to escort more people out, as he addressed the court to continue.
In the following moments of the trial, the prosecutor showed the jury several pictures and exhibits of the crime scene, including the murder weapon and the forensic autopsy report.
It wasn’t hard to see that he hoped to paint a picture for the jury of a wife who had deliberately planted a murder weapon, got her husband drunk, and then took advantage of his inebriated state to finally commit murder.
The atmosphere in court became more and more tense as Sheng Min Ou and the prosecutor fired back and forth, their words becoming razor-sharp blades, clashing into each other fiercely in front of the jury and the judge.
When Yao Jing and Tang Zhi Peng’s son, Tang Zhuo was summoned to testify, Shen Xiao Shi instantly stiffened, his gaze fixed on the young albeit chubby boy who made his way to the witness stand.
Yao Jing, who had appeared numb to all the occurrences surrounding her, raised her head for the first time.
The prosecutor began his questioning, “Can you tell everyone how your parents’ relationship have been in the past two years?”
The young, cherubic boy glanced at his mother and then at the Tang family seated in the public gallery.
“I went to a boarding school. I’m not sure what happens usually, but everything was fine when I was at home.”
“Have you witnessed your Dad beat your mum?”
“No.”
“Has your mum ever confided to you anything related to this matter?”
The young boy paused, before committing to shaking his head.
Yao Jing closed her eyes, two lines of tears trailing down her face. She proceeded to bury her face in her palms, her thin frame trembling as her shoulders shook, her attenuated fingers were as thin as firewood, to the point where they looked like they could easily be snapped.
The prosecutor concluded his questioning, “Your Honour, I have nothing more to ask.”
Sheng Min Ou then got up and I was slightly nervous at first, as his method of questioning was usually excessively callous, and I don’t know what sort of backlash he would receive from the Tang family.
“Last year, your birthday happened to be on a Saturday. I looked through your WeChat feed and you were home that day.”
The young boy’s gaze started to wander nervously in response.
“Did something happen that day?”
The young boy furrowed his eyebrows slightly as he replied, “I don’t remember what happened last year.”
Sheng Min Ou sneered as he pressed on, “Your mother was sent to the emergency room at ten o’clock in the evening and received five stitches on her head. You were at home that day, but you have no idea what happened?”
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The young boy bit his lip as he shook his head: “I don’t remember.”
“You even took a family photo for your sixteenth birthday when everyone was eating. Do you really not remember such a monumental day?”
“I said I don’t remember!”
Sheng Min Ou remained quiet for a few seconds, letting silence fill the room, then signaled to the judge that he had finished conducting his cross-examination.
After the trial, Wu Yi came over to speak to Shen Xiao Shi, letting him know that the prosecutor wanted to speak face to face with the defendant’s lawyer and family members.
“It may be to negotiate a plea bargain.” Seeing traces of hesitancy on Shen Xiao Shi features, he added, “Of course, this isn’t something we are obliged to accept.”
The Tang family also left the courtroom at this time, and when they passed by us, each of them stared at Shen Xiao Shi with a malicious glint in their eyes..
“Tang Zhuo…” Seeing the rotund boy being surrounded by the Tang family, Shen Xiao Shi rushed forward, and was immediately stopped by Tang Zhi Peng’s younger brother.
“What are you doing?” The other party questioned, pointing at Shen Xiao Shi, “Your son of a murderer, you better stay away from my nephew! Our Tang family has nothing to do with you.”
Shen Xiao Shi’s gaze suddenly morphed into one of animosity: “Point at me one more time, try me.”
The other party was startled, seemingly shocked by his aura for an instant.
I quickly inserted myself between the two of them, and pressed down the finger that was pointed right at me as I remarked coldly, “We’re in a courthouse right now, you guys should lower your voices.” I tilted my head towards Shen Xiao Shi as I directed my next words at him, “You too.”
Shen Xiao Shi turned his face the other way, his expression difficult to understand.
“A crooked stick will have a crooked shadow, and today we got to see that saying come true, truly whatever kind of person the mother is, the son will be too.” The other party snorted coldly, as the whole family left in a formidable manner.
The young boy looked back at Shen Xiao Shi through the crowd, his eyes were rather nostalgic, before ultimately following his grandparents away.
Wu Yi was a little surprised witnessing the commotion unfold as he exclaimed, “This family is really…”
Their law firm exclusively dealt with big cases, and thus their clients had all been well-presented and cordial. It was therefore to be expected that he hadn’t witnessed people who acted in this manner.
“Feng Ge, go ahead, you don’t need to wait for me.” The hostility had faded from his expression, leaving Shen Xiao Shi looking forlorn instead.
I patted his arm in response, not knowing what to say.
“Okay, then I’ll be leaving first.”
After Shen Xiao Shi left with Wu Yi, I went to retrieve my umbrella from where I left it and prepared to head home. Coincidentally, just when I had gotten my umbrella and turned around, I bumped into Meng Xuan Jun.
It was the first time I had seen her again since the Luo Zheng Yun case was terminated.
She also appeared to be slightly surprised: “Lu Feng? Why are you here?”
“My friend has a case, I’m accompanying him and sitting in the public gallery to see how it’s progressing.”
I didn’t say much, and she didn’t follow up with more questions. After some more small talk and a few words of greeting here and there, all the steps necessary for a proper adult interaction had been completed.
“By the way, do you have Old Huang’s contact information? Last time it was all because he was willing to testify for me in court. I’ve always been meaning to thank him in person.”
Meng Xuan Jun quickly understood who I was referring to by “Old Huang”, and hurriedly took out her mobile phone as she flipped through her contacts.
“Here, I still have his phone number.”
She sent me his contact details, then waved goodbye to me as she left.
I held the umbrella in one hand as I leisurely made my way out. I decided to give Old Huang a heads up by sending him a text message first indicating who I was and saying that this number was mine.
As a result, I received a call back in less than a minute.
“I was wondering when you would reach out and call me.” A voice chastising me came from the other end of the phone.
I couldn’t help but laugh hearing that familiar voice and tone.
“More like you’ve been waiting for me to shout you dinner, right?”
Old Huang laughed loudly when he heard the words.
Old Huang turned out to be off shift today and didn’t live far from the courthouse I was presently at. There’s no better day than today, so I invited him to come out tonight for some drinks.
We agreed on eating at a rotisserie, and when I arrived Old Huang was already there. As soon as he saw me, he asked me when I had learned to drink.
I touched my nose, stifling an urge to get up and greet him as ‘sir’ as soon as I saw him.
“I wouldn’t say I know how to drink, at most I can only take two sips.”
Old Huang poured tea for me, grinning, though his words were stern, “It’s good that you don’t know how to drink, drinking harms your body.”
We talked about what had been going on within the walls, and then caught up on what was happening outside.
After he heard that I was working under Wei Shi, Old Huang slapped his thigh and remarked that he had always known that Wei Shi was a capable man, and one who was also loyal. He told me to continue following him and working by his side.
“If you have skills of your own, then you won’t have to worry about not being able to get food on the table.” Old Huang exclaimed, taking a sip of his tea.
As we talked, the conversation eventually drifted to the Luo Zheng Yun case from last time. Old Huang shook his head throughout, remarking that a horrible person had received the punishment he deserved, though the ending was a bit too tragic, being one that elicited many sighs from others.
“Funny that we’re bringing this up, because I saw someone in the public gallery…”
I laughed in response, “What’s strange about that, the gallery is usually filled with people.”
Old Huang rolled his eyes at me, giving me a glance before he continued, “I used to see this particular person outside the gate of our Qing Wan First prison. Year after year, he would turn up, but every year just like the last he wouldn’t go in. He remained outside, smoking as he stood, and sometimes he would stay there standing for a whole day.”
“That is kind of strange.” I frowned, unable to figure out. “Was it a man or a woman?”
“It was a man, he looked like a celebrity, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to remember him for so many years. Anyways, I don’t think I’ve seen him this year.”
I brought the teacup to my mouth and stilled. The person was a man, someone who looked like a celebrity, he appeared in the public gallery, and had a habit of coming to the First prison year after year but never went in….
Could it be?
I balled my fists together. A vague possibility arose in my mind, as I became inexplicably nervous thinking about it, my heartrate accelerating in tandem.
I almost spilled some of the tea when I put down my teacup. I flicked my hand hurriedly, trying to rid the droplets of tea on myself that I had spilt, as I took out my phone and showed Old Huang a picture of Sheng Min Ou that I secretly took of him.
“Is it… him?” I asked gingerly, my tone cautious to the extreme.
Old Huang took the phone and squinted his eyes. “Yeah, yeah – it’s him.” He raised his head in confusion as he asked, “Why do you have a picture of him?”
It was him after all.
For an instant, I felt as if I had been struck by lightning. It was a feeling that could not be captured by merely using words such as ‘unexpected’ and ‘shocked’.
I felt goosebumps on the back of my neck, and I even began to suspect the world as I knew it.
Was I dreaming?
Then this dream was too real, way too real.
“He’s my brother.” My voice came out a bare whisper, featherlight, because my soul had long since left my body.
Jiraiya (Translator’s note): OH MY GOD IS THIS REAL LIFE ARE WE FINALLY GETTING FED MY HEARTTTTT
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