Ch48 - I give up

I leaned in closer and traced my fingertips over the words, the uneven texture of it slightly coarse to the touch, as it convinced me that what I saw was not an absurd dream of mine.

Some of the letter paper stuck on the wall had already started to look crisp and yellow, as it resembled an artefact from the past. I was intimately familiar with it, my name written there at the bottom of it all. 

All the letters I wrote to Sheng Min Ou for the past ten years, he said he hadn’t read it, he said he threw it all away. However, they had all been kept here.

“This is…your definition of not giving it a glance, of disposing of it all?” I stood in the middle of the room and spun around as I took in the sight of it all. The blankness in my mind was slowly dispelled by a sense of manic ecstasy, as I muttered under my breath, “…From now on I’ll never believe your deceptive words again.”

 

 

As if viewing a piece of art that greatly resonated with me, I admired and reflected on it. At first I stood, then after a while I opted to squat down, before finally I simply just sat down on the ground, as I was reluctant to tear my eyes away. It wasn’t until my mobile phone rang with Liu Yue asking me whether I wasn’t going to turn up to work today that I realised and was surprised to find two hours had passed.

To make sure that everything in the room remained exactly the same as before I entered, I closed the door carefully behind me and I wiped away fingerprints which weren’t even visible on the door with a guilty conscience. I smoothed the folds and creases on Sheng Min Ou’s bed, washed the cups, then went out to work. 

By the time I pushed the door of the pawn shop open whilst whistling a tune, I was greeted with the sight of Shen Xiao Shi sitting in his familiar spot. He was playing a game as he held his phone in his hands, and for a moment I thought I was developing hallucinations.

 

“Why are you here?” I asked, circling him, “Didn’t you ask for a month’s leave?”

Shen Xiao Shi raised his head and glanced at me, then quickly shifted his gaze back to the phone screen.

“I have nothing to do at home, so I came.”

 

I glanced at Liu Yue, who currently had earphones in and was catching up on her latest drama, as I squeezed myself to the side of Shen Xiao Shi and asked him softly, “How was the talk with the prosecutor?”

The miniature figure in Shen Xiao Shi’s game was squatting in a corner and suddenly stopped moving at this. He placed his phone down and sighed as he replied, “The prosecutor informed us of their conditions. If she pleads guilty, the sentence will be reduced to five years.”

The original sentence was twenty years, but now it could be reduced so that it was only five years. This was a vast improvement.

 

“However, my mother didn’t agree to it.” Shen Xiao Shi went on in a low voice, “She doesn’t want to plead guilty. My brother’s choice to testify in court really struck a nerve for her.” 

The choice to not plead guilty would result in the lawsuit being prolonged, as the fight against the prosecution continued on the battlegrounds of the court. The prosecutor probably would never be able to expect that Tang Zhuo’s appearance in court as a witness would be the reason why the plea deal fell through.

Being in the line of business as a pawnbroker does not guarantee a new item would come in every day, and even less so for every item that was traded in to find a new owner. If the items were too bizarre, or if no one takes an interest in them, then it was also very common for them to end up just rotting in our inventory.

Business was quiet on this day, so I found some time to head to the back and go over the inventory. As a result, I found many items of all sorts of origins. There was a limited edition game card, a whole leg of Spanish ham, and a luxury brand windbreaker now out of season…

“What’s this?” I said, as I wiped off the dust on the box, unfamiliar with the contents I held, as I  asked Shen Xiao Shi for help. 

The box had straight edges all around, as it resembled those briefcases in the movies which were always secured with a lock. The box, when opened, looked like a laptop, with a screen on top, buttons on the bottom and numerous jacks to plug in. Something which resembled a grey sleeve was stuffed in the corner and there was a coil of thin wire entwined with round electrodes connected at the top. It looked like an electrocardiogram machine in a hospital, only smaller.

Shen Xiao Shi blew the dust on the game card, subsequently choking on it, before glancing at me and replying, “I think that was traded in by a detective wannabe…it’s a polygraph.”

“It’s a lie detector?” I looked at what was in front of me in disbelief, “Detective fans even collect this type of thing…”

“He didn’t make a visit to the pawn shop just to trade this. If it was just a polygraph, then I wouldn’t accept it either. He traded in a signed set of thriller novels that were in crazed demand online, and he explained that if he wasn’t trying to gather money to afford milk powder, then he would never have considered selling it. When he passed the books over to me, he, a fully fledged 180cm man, had tears streaming down his face.” Shen Xiao Shi shrugged, “I felt sorry for him, so I took the polygraph alongside the novels, but it turns out that no one wants it so it’s just been collecting dust.” 

Because your average person wouldn’t need something like this, I thought as I looked at the black box in front of me.

After tidying up the storage room, we threw away the items which we decided would be discarded. Shen Xiao Shi and I spent the whole afternoon inside, so we emerged enervated with every part of our body sore and covered in dust.

 

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

“How long have we left the ham in there for? It hasn’t gone bad, right?”

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I didn’t even have time to shoot him any facial cues before he caught sight of me, raised his eyebrow and began to speak in a stentorian tone, “What happened yesterday? You didn’t reply to any messages. Did your phone fall into the toilet?”

From yesterday to now, in just a dozen or so hours, Wei Shi had no idea what I had gone through. I almost even forgot to turn up to work, so how could I possibly remember to reply to his texts.

“Ah……” 

Before I could respond to him, his expression suddenly changed as he saw who was behind me, as Shen Xiao Shi walked into view.

“Xiao, Xiao Shi is also here.” His steadfast tone instantly shrivelled up, even taking on a cautionary approach.

Shen Xiao Shi squeezed past me, without sparing a single glance at him, as he ensconced himself on the sofa and took out his mobile phone to resume his game.

Wei Shi’s eyes followed him, but when he saw that he didn’t pay attention to him, the light from his eyes slowly dimmed. 

“I remembered that there was still something I had to do…. I’ll be going first. Lu Feng, remember to check your phone.” He reminded, a sneer on his face. He stopped in the shop for no longer than two minutes, with the doorknob still in his hand, before he returned the door to how it was before, as he walked out.

I glanced at Shen Xiao Shi who was on the sofa, expressionless and indifferent, and then at the direction of the door where there was no longer any trace of someone being there. I sighed inwardly as I contemplated and worried for the future of these two people.

Looking at their falling out, I didn’t even know if in the future the four of us would be able to get together again and enjoy hotpot.

We found that the whole leg of ham couldn’t be sold, so I directed Shen Xiao Shi to sell it on WeChat according to the weight of the cut. Listing an exceptional leg of ham from Spain that was cured for four years attracted the attention of many people as they all wanted a taste of novelty. The slices were sold by a quarter of a kilogram and half a kilogram, and surprisingly, quite a lot of the meat was sold. 

When I was about to get off work, I received a message from coach Zhou, who asked whether I was going to go practice today.

I asked him if shi xiong was going first.

Coach Zhou first answered me with a “?”, and then quickly understood who I was referring to.

Ohh, did you mean Mr. Sheng? You’re the second person today to ask me that, he’ll be coming haha. 

There was no question about who the first to ask him was, it was none other than my little shi jie.

The Spanish ham had quite a fair bit of scraps and leftover meat left, and since Shen Xiao Shi and I both didn’t like to eat raw meat, we asked Liu Yue to take it all back instead. Liu Yue wrapped five or six packs of the leftovers in oil paper, and happily remarked that she would go home to make soup out of it. The bone which still had some meat on it was then broken into several pieces and placed in plastic bags, as it was intended to be given to the stray cats in the community.

 

I was surprised by this as I commented, “Cats even eat this?”

Liu Yue replied, “Usually I only feed them cheap cat food, so this could be considered an extra meal on top of what they’re having. Surely this is better than nothing.” 

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I remembered the last time I went to the fight club I saw two stray cats who were of average size, but were dirty and skinny outside. I pitied them, so I asked Liu Yue for a packet of ham and planned to feed them the meat if I bumped into them again.

After saying goodbye to Shen Xiao Shi and Liu Yue, I chose a noodle restaurant at random and ate a bowl of noodles there. After that, I took the bag of ham with me as I called a taxi and headed towards the club.

I stood outside the entrance meowing for a long while, but no kitten was seen. Just when I was feeling dejected from the outcome and was about to pack away the scraps of ham, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder from behind.

“Shi Di!” Zheng Mi Mi appeared behind me with a smile. 

She looked at the thing in my hand and curiously asked, “What are you doing?”

I handed the oil paper package to her, “Want some? It’s ham.”

Zheng Mi Mi’s eyes lit up as she remarked,”Woah, it smells delicious, it’s kind of familiar to me actually. Isn’t this the ham from [___]?” She spoke of the name of a Spanish brand which sounded like a tongue-twister, and then unceremoniously took the packet of ham from me as she opened it and enjoyed its flavour to her heart’s content.

I didn’t get to feed a cat, but I got to feed a little shi jie, so at least it didn’t go to waste. 

I entered the boxing gym with Zheng Mi Mi as we began our novice training regiment. Sheng Min Ou arrived during the partner stretching exercise from hell, and Zheng Mi Mi then began to sprout all kinds of shit about her idyllic fantasies in my ear.

“Why is my cousin-in-law so handsome…” she commented, whilst pressing down on my shoulder, “My uncle's company will have a charity dinner later, and it seems like my cousin-in-law will also attend. Say, if I volunteered to go with him as his date, do you think he would agree?”

Sweat fell in rivulets as I endured the excruciating pain of my bones and muscles being torn before I replied, enunciating each word, : “It’s a bit…risky.”

Zheng Mi Mi let go of me at once, as she replied, evidently frustrated, “I also think that, as he doesn’t take note of me at all.” 

“Why don’t you look for someone else, don't hang yourself on this one tree. You’re stunning, and the patches of forests that are waiting for your presence are unending.” I teased, as I wiped my sweat.

Zheng Mi Mi let out an unrestrained laugh, and after a while, her expression suddenly shifted to a solemn one as she asked, “Wait, shi di, don’t tell me, you’ve caught feelings for me?”

I almost choked on my own saliva, as I hurriedly waved my hand at her to clarify the standing of our relationship.

“Even though little shi jie you’re young, beautiful and wealthy, I…” I glanced in Sheng Min Ou’s direction, “my heart already belongs to someone.” 

Zheng Mi Mi patted her chest as she went on, “You gave me a fright.” Perhaps she thought that her reaction was too blunt, she immediately added, “It’s not that shi di you’re lacking in any way, but it’s mainly because someone else also has my heart, right. I like the mature and cold male god type, but you’re kind of more the handsome, fresh faced boy with a sunny disposition, so you’re not really what I’m looking for.”

“Understood, understood.”

 

She held her hand out to pull me up.

I grabbed onto her hand as just when I got to my feet, I heard the sound of Sheng Min Ou’s voice coming from the direction of the ring. 

“You, get over here.” Sweat dripped down from his temples, as he came to the edge of the ring and hooked a finger at me, “Hold the target for me.”

Coach Zhou was holding the targets out for him just moments prior, but he was nowhere to be seen now.

Zheng Mi Mi pushed me excitedly, “Go on, shi xiong is calling you right now.”

I was pushed forward by her, as I climbed up to the ring, almost frightened by Sheng Min Ou’s sudden show of favour as I picked up the two hand targets on the ground. I wore them and then flashed Sheng Min Ou a smile, “Ge, this is my first time, be gentle okay.” 

Sheng Min Ou didn’t say anything in response as he adjusted his breathing, swept his long legs, and attacked from the side. I hurriedly blocked his attack and was almost propelled sideways by the force.

Fuck, was he for real?

I didn’t dare to slack off again as I carefully anticipated and received every attack from him. After experiencing his various jabs, uppercuts, and leg sweeps, my physical strength dropped rapidly, and sweat dripped from the roots of my hair as it seeped into my eyes.

I was forced to occasionally close one eye, and my restricted field of vision made my movements and responses even more sluggish. When Sheng Min Ou directed a kick to the middle of the hand target, I didn’t have time to adjust my center of gravity, and as a result I was sent flying backwards as I crashed into the ropes at the side of the boxing ring. 

I gasped for air as I found it hard to stand.

“Let’s stop here today.” Sheng Min Ou saw my beaten down appearance and found some compassion in himself to utter those words at me as he untied his hand straps and walked towards the locker room.

Zheng Mi Mi came to the boxing ring, her voice filled with concern as she asked, “Shi di, are you okay? Shi xiong was honestly so ruthless today, you’re still a novice, but he wasn’t merciful at all.”

I took off the targets and found that I didn’t have it in me to talk anymore, so I could only wave at her to signal that I was okay. 

With Sheng Min Ou already gone, she didn’t stay any longer, and soon bid farewell to me before she left. I stayed where I was, laying there for a while, and after feeling like my HP had risen slightly, I headed towards the locker room.

Coincidentally, as soon as I walked in, I saw Sheng Min Ou had taken a bath as he donned a bath towel and was opening his locker door.

This situation, this scene, it was all too familiar.

He was the only person in that area, so I sneaked behind him and found that I couldn’t replicate the same action he did last time with my height, so I could only fall back on an alternate plan, as I wrapped myself against him. My arms circled his waist, my cheeks pressed against the back of his neck, all my sweat transferring over to his humid skin that was radiating heat. 

“Ge, are you perhaps in a bad mood today?”

Sheng Min Ou suddenly stiffened, and instantly reacted as he grabbed onto my roaming hands.

 

“Did you forget our three agreements? Don’t touch me, and stay away from me.” He plucked my fingers off his body as he turned and pushed me away.

I crashed into the lockers on the opposite side as the thud reverberated within the room, however this time I didn’t feel any pain. On the contrary, my heart was filled with a warm, blissful feeling. 

Stay away from me. Each time he said this phrase to me, he was also warning himself to not cross the line, to not get close to me. Evidently, it was apparent that at times even he was unable to completely abide by his own rules.

He kept me at a distance again and again, was it because he subconsciously thought that he would hurt me, so he wanted me to stay far from him and to never cross the boundary that must not be stepped into?

What kind of feelings did he harbour when he made that hidden room, and how did he endure the past ten years?

There were a plethora of questions in my mind, however, if I asked directly, he may not be honest in his responses. 

“Fine, I won’t touch you. I’ll stay far away from you.”

Suddenly I found this whole situation to be rather humorous. I seemed to have become the fisherman in that story. In order to lure the gull down into my arms, I racked my brain for ideas and plotted tirelessly in pursuit.

“To be honest, in these past few days I’ve reflected on a lot, and you’re right.” I smiled at him as I continued, “It’s not like I have to have you, so why do I bother hanging myself on the tree that is you? I’m young, handsome and… I’m full of energy and stamina, there are boundless amounts of forests elsewhere waiting for me.”

Sheng Min Ou pursed his lips, his eyebrows gradually furrowing deeper, as if he didn’t understand what I was doing by sprouting this entire monologue in front of him. 

Seeing this, I made a long story short as I finished with a few concise words, “So, I give up.”

“From today, we’ll return to being brothers, the legal kind. I won’t force anything, and I won’t harass you either. What do you think?”

 

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