Ch56 - Was that sincere enough?

“Since everyone’s here now, let’s start the feast.” Xiao Sui Guang raised his wine glass and toasted everyone in a circle.

Xiao Sui Guang was seated at the head of the rectangular table, facing the north as Zheng Mi Mi and I sat on one side, whilst Sheng Min Ou and Xiao Meng sat on the other. 

As the dishes kept coming up, our topics of conversation changed from one another. Given that it was a family-style banquet, the topics we indulged in weren’t as constricted as usual. We dabbled in every topic, discussed current affairs, whatever we thought was worth talking about was entertained. Zheng Mi Mi even provided two pieces of gossip on celebrities, as Xiao Sui Guang laughed hearing the news.

“By the way, Xiao Sheng, how is that new case going recently? I’ve heard people mention that the man who died was a long time abuser, and he always had the habit of beating his wife.” As we talked, Xiao Sui Guang brought up the case of Shen Xiao Shi’s mother. “How could a man hit his wife? And in the end, he was beaten to death by her. Honestly, he deserves it.”

 

 

Sheng Min Ou stilled, holding his knife and fork, as he refrained from going into too much depth with his answer, “The case is still ongoing, but we should be able to hear the outcome of it soon.”

Xiao Sui Guang nodded, before suddenly turning to me, as he said solemnly, “Xiao Lu, remember this, men must never beat women. Women are for us to spoil, to love and to respect. When you get married in the future, your wife will have the first and final say. Understood?” 

I had no response for a second, then Zheng Mi Mi’s voice came from my side as she jumped in to respond, “Well, women also can’t just freely hit men. It’s always wrong to use violence. Moreover, marriage is formed on the basis of mutual respect, everyone is born equal and there isn’t such a thing as first say or final say.”

 

Xiao Sui Guang was amused at her words, “Look at this girl, I’m speaking up for you, how could you expose me like this?”

I looked across at Sheng Min Ou who was quietly eating. He looked completely uninterested in partaking in our conversation, and I grew more worried.

He was too good at putting on a facade, to the point where what you saw was not necessarily what was going on beneath the surface. Looking at him now it appeared as if nothing was wrong, but there was a chance that inside, he was like the surface of a bubbling volcano. All it took was for me to trigger him before he exploded, and for me to suffer catastrophic consequences.

 

Observing his indifference towards his surroundings, I had the thought to mess with him. I sneakily extended my feet under the table, as I imitated how lovers caught up in a clandestine affair would act, secretly engaging with him right under everyone else’s nose.

I hooked the upper surface of my foot with his calf as I slowly moved against him up and down, whilst observing Sheng Min Ou’s expression as I did so.

He was midway through drinking his soup before he suddenly stilled, the spoon holding the soup jolting as some of it spilled out.

 

I stirred my own portion of creamy soup, making every effort to suppress the smile on my lips so that it wasn’t too overt, as to not attract the attention of others. However, under the table, my movements became even more reckless and unbridled. 

“Uncle, back then you weren’t willing to let Xiao Sheng go, now look, if you had insisted on keeping him then Qing Wan would’ve had one less exceptional lawyer. Though Mei Teng is good, how could it compare to being your own boss, right?” Although Xiao Meng was smiling as he spoke, I had the feeling that behind his smile, he spoke words laced with poisonous intent, his phrases containing insinuations, betraying the superficial friendly nature of his speech.

Perhaps it was partly due to his deceitful, cunning looks. When his long, slender eyes shrunk into slits, it always gave the impression that he was calculating something, no matter the time or place.

Zheng Mi Mi likely shared the same feelings as me, as she muttered softly, “You obviously would agree with that last statement.”

She said this lightly, so Xiao Sui Guang did not catch it, however Xiao Meng who was sitting opposite her, and myself who sat adjacent to her had heard her words. A cold light flashed in Xiao Meng’s eyes, as he seemed to be agitated; however, considering that Xiao Sui Guang was present, he held back from instigating anything. 

When there was something to say, he would do so. I for one, was definitely not someone who had a filter, but if we were judging on the basis of being unrevealing, then Xiao Meng really could not compare to Sheng Min Ou. Sheng Min Ou could forbear his anger and carry on lively conversation with the most idiotic clients, and though it wouldn’t be quite wholly imperceptible to the other party, they would definitely never be able to perceive changes in his emotions. He was accustomed to being stoic, and to carry on with a facade. Those who weren’t familiar with him would never be able to figure out and grasp the endless thoughts he had, hidden under his polite appearance.

That was the case even when it came to someone who was as familiar with him as myself. Even when my relationship to him was at a negative distance, I often found it impossible to decipher his true thoughts.

As the saying went, accompanying a lord was the same as resting with a tiger. Given that I often stayed around Sheng Min Ou’s side, it was like being side by side with a crocodile. Though normally he appeared to be a statue without any hostility in him, if you got too close and let your guard down, he would bite before you could react and leave you incapacitated for life. Yeah, let’s not talk about the thrilling uncertainty that underpinned our every interaction.

“Mei Teng is great. It’s actually too good, talent is so abundant there that my absence isn’t one that will be missed, and for me to be there doesn’t mean much either. The impact that I had was actually quite insignificant. Given this, a move into an industry which was better fitting for me would be a more optimal move, as I can be of greater assistance to more people who require my services. This is also a lesson that Mr Xiao had taught me, for me to never forget what I initially set out to do.” 

Sheng Min Ou’s words were spoken masterfully, as he also incidentally flattered Xiao Sui Guang’s with his speech. Xiao Sui Guang was jubilant hearing these words, whilst Xiao Meng’s expression twisted further.

Sheng Min Ou placed down the spoon and stopped eating, as he picked up a linen napkin and wiped his mouth and then said, “A while ago, I received a few pro bono cases, one of them being a medical dispute case involving Mei Teng. It seemed to be related to a new type of anti-allergic agent. I didn’t pick it up at the time as I rejected it, so I’m not sure what came out of the case.”

 

Beneath the table, he shifted his feet, as if trying to avoid my harassment.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

“Such a thing happened?” Xiao Sui Guang frowned as he said, “Xiao Meng, you’re in charge of drug research and development, are you aware of this?” 

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The subtext contained in that message was quite a bit to process, as Xiao Meng broke out into a smile immediately after hearing this, excitement evident in his eyes. 

“Will do, uncle.”

“Ah!” At this moment, I yelled abruptly, attracting the sights of everyone.

Zheng Mi Mi looked at me bemused, “What are you doing? Did you bite your tongue?”

My eyes skirted around as if nothing had happened, completely not as if Sheng Min Ou had just mercilessly stepped on my foot under the table. I hissed lightly, and said with a hint of a mocking tone, “I accidentally bit too hard, sorry, sorry, I must’ve scared everyone.” 

Sheng Min Ou took a sip of the red wine in his glass, as if it had nothing to do with him, and casually let out a rather caring remark, “Then you should be more careful, Mr. Lu.”

Teasing the tail of a giant crocodile was a thrilling thing to do, but the pain that came afterwards was no joke either.

After dinner, Xiao Sui Guang led us to see his collection. I have to admit that it truly was an impressive one. The collection was rich in different items and made people feel as if they were in a watch boutique. Many of them were also customized models that could not be found on the market, and this whole experience really opened my eyes and added to my understanding.

After taking a look around, Xiao Sui Guang let me know apologetically that he had something to discuss with Sheng Min Ou. He left Xiao Meng with us, as he disappeared into the study with Sheng Min Ou. 

Xiao Meng agreed enthusiastically, but afterwards his mind appeared to be elsewhere. Every few minutes his glance would flicker towards the direction of the study, as if he wished he had X-ray vision, so he was able to immediately look through the door and discern what the two of them were doing.

Zheng Mi Mi noticed his behaviour, and kept herself occupied with her phone, as she typed up paragraph after paragraph; to whom she was writing to, I had no idea.

I maintained a superficial conversation with Xiao Meng for an hour, and just when I could not think of another topic to speak of, the door to the study opened and Sheng Min Ou walked out.

He descended down the steps slowly as he called out to Xiao Meng and Zheng Mi Mi, “Mr. Xiao wants you two to go up.” 

Xiao Meng went up without casting another look back and without speaking another word. Zheng Mi Mi however pointed to herself, a little surprised, “I get to go up too?”

I saw that it was getting late, and Sheng Min Ou had a coat in his hand, looking as if he was about to leave, so I said to Zheng Mi Mi, “Go on up, say goodbye to Mr. Xiao for me, and tell him that I’ll be taking my leave first. Thank him also for his hospitality today.”

 

I should have said all this in person, but firstly, they were having a conversation between family members, and it was inappropriate for me to intrude as a fake boyfriend. Secondly, by the time I went up and came down again, Sheng Min Ou was sure to be gone, and thus the pros did not outweigh the cons.

Zheng Mi Mi replied, “Alright then, do you want me to call for someone to send you home?” 

“No need, no need.” I glanced at Sheng Min Ou who was already walking outside, and I hurriedly said, “I’ll just take Mr. Sheng’s car and go.”

Without waiting for Zheng Mi Mi’s response, I chased after Sheng Min Ou as I left.

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As I passed the gates, it took a few quick paces for me to catch up and be by Sheng Min Ou’s side again. I was unabashed as I said, “Ge, I didn’t drink today, shall I drive you back?”

He didn’t spare a glance at me as he tossed the car key in my direction. I caught it, and was very pleased with the cooperative attitude he displayed. As long as one was shameless, there was nothing that couldn’t be done. 

I sat in the car, put on the seat belt and just pulled out of the spot when Sheng Min Ou suddenly announced, “Xiao Sui Guang is about to die.”

I slammed the brakes as I looked at him in astonishment, “Huh?”

Xiao Sui Guang had mentioned during the dinner that he was in poor health recently. I thought he was referring to having a headache or something similar, so I was taken aback that his health had deteriorated to this extent.

Sheng Min Ou’s long eyebrows furrowed, as he seemed agitated by my sudden braking. 

“If you dare to brake like this again, then get out of the car.”

I shrank my neck back as I lightly stepped on the accelerator, treating it with a gentleness that it had never received before.

“What’s wrong with Mr. Xiao? He appeared to be quite healthy, is he ill?” I drove out of the Xiao family mansion and resumed the subject.

“Cancer.” Sheng Min Ou wasn’t the type to say only half of something, as he explained with two straightforward words. 

Thinking back to the previous phone call that Sheng Min Ou answered, it appears that he had been aware of Xiao Sui Guang’s physical condition for more than a day or two. However, I wasn’t sure how much of their confidential discussion today in the study had to do with this particular matter.

“Then Xiao Sui Guang called you in today…”

“To finalise his will.”

So that’s what it was. Perhaps Xiao Meng was partially aware of this, which was why he appeared so keen. However, given Xiao Mo Yu and Zheng Mi Mi’s actions, it didn’t appear that they were aware of Xiao Sui Guang’s illness. Therefore, it seemed like not everyone was privy to knowing the truth. 

“What a pity, Mr. Xiao is only in his 50s, right? So much can still be achieved at that age.” I remarked, sighing a little.

“It is inevitable for life to come to this in the end. The only difference being that some people reach this stage earlier, whilst some people get there later. As such, there is nothing to pity over.”

 

Cars flowed incessantly to and from on the roads, their movements like an unending stream of a river. Beside us were monolithic buildings, with bright lights illuminating every inch of the street. It should have originally been a boisterous, lively scene, however with Sheng Min Ou’s words in the background, it appeared inexplicably bleak.

He was talking about Xiao Sui Guang, yet I felt that he was actually using Xiao Sui Guang as a proxy for me. He was answering the question that I had asked him in the bathroom prior – if I suddenly died, would he grieve for me? 

According to his words, the rough answer was – everyone was bound to die, so even if I died a bit early, there was nothing that was a pity.

Ai, this really was a fitting answer for his cold persona.

“You can’t say that. It is true that all humans face death, yet aside from it being a matter of when it occurs, there is also a difference in some deaths being trifling and unimportant, whilst others hold a heavy significance.” I tightened my grip on the steering wheel as I continued, “If we did not get to live our lives until old age, even if you admitted your fate, your relatives and friends would not be able to accept such a truth so easily. So sometimes, it isn’t the person who passed away that bears the most pain. It is the person who shoulders the memory of both of them alone that is suffering the most. Not everyone will be able to accept an unexpected death, and some may even express extreme reactions given such a situation.”

Although more than ten years have passed and he may not have any more thoughts concerning that idea, I was still not assured. I found it necessary to reiterate how normal people’s attitudes were concerning ‘death’. 

Sheng Min Ou was silent for a long time and did not answer, and inside the car the atmosphere fell into a steady quietness. When a red light appeared in front of us, I pressed down slowly on the brakes.

“Like how Xiao Sui Guang is currently dying, despite his children’s wishes to be able to support him until he grows old. Xiao Mo Yu must be very upset at this.”

“Really?” Sheng Min Ou’s tone was full of reservation.

I choked, wondering if I had found a wrong example to use. 

I hurriedly replaced it with another one, “Shen Xiao Shi… If Shen Xiao Shi suddenly was involved in an accident, and of course this is purely a hypothetical, then I would absolutely be devastated and caught up in grief. Even if it was Wu Yi, if he died young, I can’t say that I would be heartbroken, but I would still be pained. That is empathy.”

Xiao Shi, Wu Yi, I’m sorry. I’m here to apologise for using you two mates as an example.

“Then your emotions must be quite rich and delicate.” Sheng Min Ou leaned forward and turned on the audio player in the car. In the next second, a melodious, impassioned symphony flowed out of the speaker. Hearing the music spill out, he leaned back as he sank into his seat again.

I subconsciously realised that something was off with what he said, and I wanted to clarify this with him, but the music was too loud and the cars started moving in front of us, so I could only give up on the thought. 

For the rest of the drive, Sheng Min Ou did not speak another word. His face was turned away, and it looked like he was resting.

Actually, the words that I most wanted to say to him were never spoken.

Amidst the music, I said the following words at a volume that only I could hear. “If you really dared to die in front of me, then I would grow to be hateful because of my love. I’ll show you how extreme a reaction I can have. Even in death, I won’t let you be in peace.”

When we arrived outside his place, I parked the car, and was just about to wake him up when I found his eyes already open. I had no idea if he even slept or not on the ride. 

We got out of the car and I returned his car keys to him. He was about to go upstairs without saying a word when I curled my mouth and tugged at his hand from behind.

“Aren’t you going to say something?”

 

He turned his head, frowning as he looked at me and said, “Thank you?”

I leaned in quickly, meeting his lips as I kissed him hard. 

“You’ve got to be sincere in your thanks, Lawyer Sheng.”

He stood there, glancing askance at my hand currently clasped onto him. He wasn’t angry, but he didn’t appear to be too happy either.

I let go of him at once, “Don’t look at me like this…”

My fingertips had just left the cuffs of his shirt when Sheng Min Ou suddenly grabbed me with a backhanded grip as he held my hand in his, pulling me towards him. My eyes widened, my mind suddenly blank, and my heart was beating so fast that it could jump out of my chest. 

The back of the neck was held firmly as he leaned over to kiss my lips, before prying my teeth open with the tip of his tongue, giving me a deep and arrogant kiss.

Except, before I could respond, it was all over. He pulled away, and put a safe distance between us two.

“Was that sincere enough?” he asked.

I swallowed, and looked at him blankly. 

Rather than calling what had just happened a kiss, it was more apt to describe it as a beast tasting the food that he had kept for a long time. When he bit my tongue, I had the thought that he might start to devour me starting from the tongue first.

He took in how idiotic I looked, before his eyes flashed with the joy of having won something back. Before I could respond, he turned and left to go upstairs.

I stared at his silhouette disappearing behind the glass door and it took a long time for me to come to terms with what just happened. I wiped my damp lips with my fingertips, and at once my legs gave out as I fell to a squat.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…” 

We were both adults here, and it wasn’t like we hadn’t done acts that were more explicit in nature. It wasn’t even the first time we kissed. Yet, I was like a young boy who had just started to love, as after Sheng Min Ou’s kiss, my face was flushed red, my feelings spirally fully out of control.

jiraiya (translator): MFFFFF I’VE WAITED TOO LONG FOR THIS DAY TO COME

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