Two months later I finally returned to the job I loved, with the new year fast approaching,
During my absence from the pawn shop, Wei Shi had been covering my shifts and worked closely with Shen Xiao Shi. The shop’s sales increased instead of dipping down, and In the last month, it even caught up and surpassed the yearly sales of the other pawn shop.
“Feng ge, if you don’t come back, Jiang Shan will fall!” Liu Yue exclaimed, as she almost pounced on me and pointed at Shen Xiao Shi with her fingers extended, “This traitor, he’s totally forgotten all your guidance earlier, he’s defected to a new master!”
Wei Shi was in a good mood and played along with her antics as he wrapped his arm around Shen Xiao Shi and pulled him to his side.
“It’s too late now, Xiao Shi is already mine. Accept your fate, if you surrender, I won’t kill you.”
Shen Xiao Shi’s face turned steadily more and more red as he began struggling against Wei Shi’s hold, “What…what are you saying, what do you mean I’m yours? I’m – I’m innocent, where Feng ge goes, I go!”
Liu Yue clapped her hands, like a pure spectator who didn’t mind at all what chaos she was stirring up.
“Fight, fight!” she chanted.
I extended a finger and poked it at her forehead, until her whole head tilted back slightly. “You cursed this country since long ago, you -”
Liu Yue’s eyes lit up as she replied, “Beauty?”
“… Eunuch.”
Liu Yue rolled her eyes as she returned exasperated to her work station.
“What a bunch of scummy men who don’t know how to appreciate my beauty.”
Given the end of the year was fast approaching, it was time again to take stock of the inventory. Liu Yue and Shen Xiao Shi were at the front, as Wei Shi and I went to the back to sort out the goods.
Fortunately as we had already taken stock of what we had and dealt with items that needed to be sold or tossed out previously, this time around the workload wasn’t too bad.
Wei Shi and I divided the storage space up between us and tallied up the goods in our respective areas. As we were a sizable distance away from each other, the other was often out of our sight as we performed our tasks. When I moved to catalogue items on the bottom shelf, I decided it was easier for me to just sit on the floor and do it. I balanced the ledger on one leg as I sat so it was easier for me to count and log the items.
It was at this moment that I heard murmurs of a conversation coming from the other shelf, not too far away.
“How come you’re here?” Wei Shi asked, confused.
“Where’s Feng ge?” Shen Xiao Shi’s voice was slightly heavy, as if he wasn’t very happy about something.
I stopped what I was doing as I carefully listened in.
“He was here just a second ago, perhaps he left for the bathroom.”
“Perfect timing then…” Shen Xiao Shi remarked. In the next second, a sudden, loud “bang” was heard as Wei Shi groaned in response. The whole commotion scared me for a second, as I secretly looked over and saw what seemed to be Wei Shi, pressed against the shelf by Shen Xiao Shi.
Shen Xiao Shi was not as tall, but he was still imposing in his demeanour as he placed both hands at the sides of Wei Shi and spat through gritted teeth, “Are you still in contact with that scum?”
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Shen Xiao Shi was evidently furious, as he raised his arm and slammed it on the shelf behind Wei Shi. The iron shelves, meeting such force, shook three times at the impact and let out a series of trembling cries.
“Wei Shi, you’re fucking asking for it!”
Aside from the drunk incident where the mistake occurred, I had never seen Shen Xiao Shi so riled up. In addition to being angered, there was also a trace of him looking as if he had been wronged.
“Hm?” Wei Shi replied, surprise evident in his voice, “What! Shen Xiao Shi, are you crying?”
He was completely in panic mode now, as he reached out to get a better look at Shen Xiao Shi’s face.
“Who’s crying? Can’t there be dust in my eyes? Let go of me!” Shen Xiao Shi responded as he swung an elbow in his direction and turned to leave. Wei Shi however grabbed him from behind and pulled him back into his arms.
Wei Shi ensconced him in a tight embrace, as he seeked to soothe Shen Xiao Shi’s emotions.
“I lied about that, that’s my fault, please don’t be angry. I haven’t been in contact with that person anymore, and it was him who kept harassing me as he constantly changed numbers…” His voice was soft and low as he continued, “I wasn’t touching anyone.”
Shen Xiao Shi initially was still twisting and turning, trying to break free from his arms, but after hearing what he said, he slowly stopped resisting.
He was still angered, but the object of his vexation had shifted, “He still has the nerve to harass you? Call him out, see if I don’t have him begging on his knees for mercy…”
“Don’t get your hands dirty for that kind of person, I’ll just go and change my number.”
“En…” Shen Xiao Shi responded, before he seemed to realise how intimate their current positions were. He started stuttering again as he said, “Let, let go of me. Feng ge is going to come back soon…”
“If you let me give you a kiss I’ll let you go.”
Me: “………”
I’m actually here, you guys! I’ve always been here! Please consider how I am feeling right now!
Shen Xiao Shi went silent for a moment, and I didn’t know if he was seriously contemplating Wei Shi’s suggestion or not. Sooner or later, this naive boy would be devoured wholly by Wei Shi, without a single crumb left over.
If I remained like this any longer I was afraid I’d be witnessing everything unfold live, and by then things would become even more awkward. Given that I could still come back from this situation right now, I deliberately knocked down a wallet from the shelf, and then let out a loud yawn, as if I had just woken up from a nap.
There was a flurry of commotion from Wei Shi’s side, and I waited until they had sorted everything out before walking over.
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Shen Xiao Shi was both surprised and puzzled as he asked, “Feng, Feng ge, have you been here the whole time?”
I covered my mouth and yawned again before replying, “I accidentally fell asleep, what are you guys doing?”
Shen Xiao Shi’s whole face turned red, and he was speechless for a while.
Wei Shi looked at me as we exchanged glances before he continued with a smile, “Xiao Shi said he wanted to help me tally the goods together.”
I nodded as I responded, “Oh, then I’ll leave it to you guys. I’ll head back out.” After saying so, I placed the notebook in Shen Xiao Shi’s hand as I quickly walked out of the warehouse.
As I walked out of the door and felt the fresh air greet me, I took a deep breath, as I felt faint inside, like I had just reincarnated as man again.
I closed the door for them and returned to my seat. Liu Yue had her earphones on and was watching another newly released melodrama, as her frame trembled as she laughed. She was utterly ignorant of what had just trespassed.
I heard a stifled sound coming from the warehouse and was afraid that I would once more overhear something that shouldn’t be heard. I hurriedly walked out of the store as if there was a spike in my butt, and planned to smoke a cigarette to calm down.
It was soon Saturday, and in a state of half consciousness I reached out around me and only found empty space on the other side of the bed. I opened my eyes and saw that Sheng Min Ou was no longer in bed.
I was still feeling sleepy, so I rolled over and went back to sleep, and I didn’t fully wake up until almost noon.
I walked out of the bedroom, stretching as I left, and saw at once that the previously locked room opposite us was now wide open and bathed in light. My breathing stilled, as I made my way in with light footsteps, only to find that the inside had had a drastic makeover.
The curtains were drawn, and the sunlight from the outside beamed into every corner. The letters on the walls and all the bloody words were all gone, replaced by mottled walls and two cardboard boxes neatly placed on the ground.
I crouched down beside the cardboard box and opened one of them, then picked up the top most letter as I examined it.
I hadn’t even gotten past a few lines when Sheng Min Ou’s voice came from behind.
“I’ve tidied up this room now, you can use it however you see fit,” he said, as he leaned against the door. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, exposing his toned forearms.
I waved the letter in my hand and asked him, “Ge, I’ve always been writing letters to your school. How did you continue to receive these letters after graduation? I’ve never once received a letter that was sent back because it couldn’t be delivered.”
Sheng Min Ou glanced at the letter in my hand and said, “I bribed the guard and had him post them over to me regularly.”
I was taken aback, before I burst out laughing.
“So that’s how it was….” I tossed the letter in my hand back into the box and clapped my hands together as I stood up. I walked over to Sheng Min Ou and wrapped my hands around his neck, as I leaned my whole weight on him, “Did you read every letter I sent then?”
Sheng Min Ou stretched out his arms out and placed his hands on my lower back, as he replied with a faint ‘en’, with no other expression evident on his face.
“What did you feel after reading the letters?”
I had just thrown this question out in the air, but I didn’t expect for Sheng Min Ou to look at me and genuinely consider his answer, as if he were actually recalling the contents of the letter.
“I thought that you would hate me, that you would become like the dirt that never saw the sun, the type of person Qi Yang wanted you to be…” He slowly tightened his hold around my waist as he pulled me into his arms and put his lips to my ear, “but you didn’t. You’re still filled with hope inside, as if you could never be defeated, and even the sun is swayed by you. You have something I don’t have. Sometimes when I look at you, I feel as if you’re the part I’m missing…”
I closed my eyes, resting my chin on his shoulder, enjoying the silence we shared in this moment, “So we… were destined to be a couple.”
He heard the words and smiled slightly, but didn’t comment further, as if he had agreed to what I said.
The sunbeams lit up the room inside, and dispelled all the haze which obscured the place.
After washing up, Sheng Min Ou and I went out for lunch, as we then headed to a furniture and home design market to buy some materials. After we returned in the afternoon, we rolled up our sleeves as we began planning renovations for the locked room.
I resealed the two boxes, full of letters that were sent by me as I stuffed them under the bed. They bore witness to the history between Sheng Min Ou and I shared in the past ten years, the marks we left and the bittersweet memories we had.
They already contained too much of our past, and should no longer hold a place in our future.
Ge ge,
How are you doing? You haven’t been answering any of my letters. I’m doing alright myself, I just miss you a lot.
I remember telling you last spring that a small blade of grass grew in the corner of the prison walls. It would bloom into small, purple flowers, and I found them to be beautiful, so I didn’t pluck them, rather I secretly left them there. When winter came, it withered, and I thought it had died, so I was down for quite some time.
You probably would never have guessed, but this year when spring came again, the flowers grew back, and it’s growing in the same place.
Old Huang said that this flower was a manchurian violet, or a ‘fuji dawn’. It grew in the wild and could be foraged. He suggested that I dig it out and make a salad out of it, but I refused.
It had fought hard to grow up, enduring two winters and two summers. I didn’t lack that mouthful of salad.
Ah, I really want to show you this little wild flower. Though it is small and weak, it is beautiful. I don’t know how much longer I can protect it for. I don’t know if next year, in the coming spring, if these purple flowers will bloom once more.
I’m actually also not sure whether you will even open this letter, or have the patience to read up to this paragraph, but I still want you to know that such a small flower once existed.
The weather has turned to be a little chillier recently. As I count the years, I guess you would have already graduated and started work already. Make sure to take care of yourself, and to stay warm.
I don’t know if you’re still mad at me, but regardless, I’m sorry, and I admit to all the mistakes that I’ve made. Please don’t ignore me, please don’t hate me, okay?
When we got into fights when I was young, I was always the one who admitted to making a mistake first. This time I’ll be doing the same too, so please forgive me, I’ll never do it again.
Ge ge, please come and visit me. Mum is refusing to tell me anything about you. I haven’t heard anything about you for a long time. Please don’t make me wait like this for any longer, let me know where you are, let me know you’re fine, that would be enough for me.
Even if you don’t tell me where you are, that’s fine. Even if you just reply a single word back to me, that will be fine too. Please, just don’t make me feel like a fool, as I wait for a reply that might never come.
I hope to hear from you before the end of spring.
And here’s to hoping that you will always have an adorable younger brother.
Lu Feng
March 20, 20xx
Jiraiya (translator’s note): We are only one chapter away from the ending of the main series.. omg… But the good news is we still have some more extras to get through! The extras will contain four chapters on Lu Feng and Sheng Min Ou, and then five more in a spin off starring Shen Xiao Shi and Wei Shi.
See you next chapter for the main story finale!
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