To put it nicely, when Shen Xiao Shi when he was a minor, he might be called a juvie. However, if we were to put it another way, he was a lout.
He didn’t have a good relationship with his family and spent his entire day wandering about, eating whatever there was to eat and sleeping wherever was available to house him. He had done all sorts of jobs, from washing cars, to moving furniture or scrubbing dishes at a restaurant. When he had nothing to do, he hopped from one internet cafe to another. On one day he might join a multiplayer game with a friend, and the next he would go grab a midnight snack with a different mate.
Though he made a lot of friends, the internet cafe was often crowded with people, with friends coming and going. Sometimes, Shen Xiao Shi wouldn’t even recall the other person’s name, as they would just grab one meal together and not come into contact again.
When he was seventeen, he found a job in a bar, where he helped to move things at the back and washed cups in the kitchen. He appeared to be an exceptionally well behaved and quiet child, so for him to be at a place where people of all different backgrounds converged, even if he didn’t go looking for trouble, trouble would come to find him.
However, fortunately, he was not someone others could take advantage of easily. Whether it was a customer or a colleague who intended to bully him, if it was a problem that could be solved with fists, he would never waste that energy on words. He would make it hurt, make them cry, and show them how what a mistake it was for them to mess with Shen xiao ye.
He gradually built up a reputation for his ability to fight and word began spreading. Though it was inevitable that occasionally he would still bump into people who had no idea who they were messing with, most people were scared to get on his bad side. No one knew what the bar owner was thinking, but instead of letting go of a personality like Shen Xiao Shi who attracted trouble, Shen Xiao Shi was promoted to becoming a security guard, as he became responsible in overseeing the day to day operations of the bar.
Occasionally, there would be drunk guests in the bar causing trouble, and Shen Xiao Shi would be called to prevent them from breaking things in the store.
Shen Xiao Shi was young and had a slender build, so he was able to slip into the crowd with ease. He possessed an agility in his movements and others were never able to catch him. With his nimble actions and punishing punches, just one of him was enough to suppress ten adversaries, so it was no problem for Shen Xiao Shi to beat all of them up and kick them to the curb.
Shen Xiao Shi was quite satisfied with his life. Seeing that he was about to turn eighteen, he figured that though he couldn’t have a big celebration, he could probably still afford to shout a few friends to a meal. There wouldn’t be any delicacies on the table, but he could afford skewers and hotpot.
However, despite having this thought, Shen Xiao Shi flipped through his phone to no avail, as he found there were no such friends he could really invite and call out.
Just as he was beginning to feel discouraged over it, a friend who he used to game with at the internet cafe popped up out of the blue and asked how he was doing recently.
Shen Xiao Shi was short of friends, so when that friend showed a semblance of care, he immediately felt a sense of warmth and began chatting with him. Half an hour later, Shen Xiao Shi invited him to his birthday party, and the other readily agreed. That friend then asked Shen Xiao Shi to help in a fight, and Shen Xiao Shi also heartily agreed to this request with the same enthusiasm.
That friend was only one year older than Shen Xiao Shi, and he was young and vigorous. Whilst playing an online game, someone else had stolen the final kill for the boss and he had expended valuable equipment and resources in the fight. That friend couldn’t come to terms with this, so said quite a few nasty things, and it culminated into waging a fight in real life.
The person he provoked wasn’t much older than him, so he was equally as impulsive, and in the heat of the moment, he agreed to the fight. So the two of them agreed on a time and would resort to fists in deciding who would win and who would lose.
From Shen Xiao Shi’s experience, most likely whoever was assembled was just going to talk big and pretend to get into a brawl. In the end, it would just be a battle of whoever was louder, until the passersby couldn’t ignore the commotion anymore and called the police, and that would be the end of that.
Early in the morning, Shen Xiao Shi departed wearing a simple hoodie, with both his hands in his pocket. He arrived at the designated meet up spot, his breath fogging in the air as he assumed it would be over soon.
However, he had no idea that this decision was one that would take his life on a different course, and a pivotal one at that.
That’s what they call: Racing through the spring breeze on a powerful horseback, only to fall into a ditch.
When the two sides first met it began with a bunch of insults, with Shen Xiao Shi remaining at the back and thinking about what he wanted to eat later. It was later when the crowd started getting restless, and Shen Xiao Shi saw someone take out a stainless steel pipe that he felt like something wasn’t right.
He began to push forward with the intention of being a peacemaker, as he planned to call for both sides to calm down and not be impulsive. They were in broad daylight and in public eyes, so if someone did get injured then it would end up badly for everyone involved.
He had only managed to push halfway to the front when all of a sudden there was a furious roar, and instantly the crowd reacted like when cold water is poured into hot oil – in an explosion.
Shen Xiao Shi avoided the frenzied crowd and the stray punches as he knew that today’s incident had gone out of control. He aimed to slip out, unwilling to be involved in this mess as he wanted to completely remove himself from the incident. Then, suddenly there was a grunt by his side, as someone toppled down, blood trickling from their palm as they clutched at the left side of their chest.
The boy who stabbed him looked to only be fifteen or sixteen. His face paled, as he stood there seemingly in a daze, clutching to the fruit knife with a plastic handle tightly in his hand, his whole body shaking.
There was about to be a fatality.
Shen Xiao Shi rushed up to support the man, as he pressed a hand tightly on his wound.
“Someone’s injured, someone’s injured, stop the fighting!” he bellowed, his vocal chords aching.
The teenager who had committed the stabbing began backing away in fear, as he repeated, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”
It was then at this moment that the sound of the siren pierced through the air, and the crowd, who previously had been so overcome by anger that they weren’t able to take in anyone’s advice, now seemed to collectively regain their wits as they dispersed in a flash.
Shen Xiao Shi’s friend bolted the fastest, vanishing without saying anything to anyone.
The young teenager who had stabbed the man remained, looking out of it still, and only seemed to come to again after he saw the police arrive. However, by then it was too late to escape as he was grabbed by the arm and swiftly pressed to the ground.
Another policeman came to Shen Xiao Shi and the others and glanced at the seriously wounded man before shaking his head as he relayed the situation on the walkie-talkie and requested for an ambulance.
“What happened? What’s your relationship with the injured person?” He asked Shen Xiao Shi.
Shen Xiao Shi was only seventeen years old, and in the face of the policeman’s interrogation, swallowed nervously at his questions.
“I don’t know him……”
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The policeman looked at him, then looked back at Shen Xiao Shi, his expression becoming serious.
“Is he telling the truth?”
Shen Xiao Shi felt a sudden shock, and started getting a feeling that perhaps, he wouldn’t be able to hold his eighteenth birthday banquet after all.
In the end, the victim of the stabbing had to undergo an operation, which resulted in their spleen being removed, and it was constituted as a serious injury. All those who participated in the fight that day were taken back to the police station for interrogation, and no matter what role they played, they all faced consequences. Those with money opted to pay monetary compensation, and those who couldn’t afford it were sent to jail instead.
The teenager who had stabbed the victim was only fifteen years old, and his family were able to afford compensating the victim as they received the family’s forgiveness. His final sentence ended up being less severe than what Shen Xiao Shi received.
Shen Xiao Shi went to join in on the fun, he didn’t lay a single hand on anyone that day, and was sentenced to four years of prison in the end.
When the official sentence was announced, he had just turned eighteen years old as he entered Qing Wan City’s First Prison where he served his time..
When he first entered, as he couldn’t figure out how he became involved and labelled as a criminal, his character became twisted at his most rebellious age. Usually, he would look like any other person, gentle and harmless, but he exploded at the slightest trigger, and when he did, he was like a rabid dog, unable to be stopped by anyone.
He felt that he was different from the others inside: they were all vicious criminals but he wasn’t, he was a good guy.
For a long while – for roughly a month he would ignore everyone, even his cellmate, as he didn’t interact with anyone.
This would all change in the span of one night, in the large, shared bathhouse of the prison.
Shen Xiao Shi was an innocent-looking, pale skinned youth, and his body hair hadn’t even all grown out completely. His appearance was fresh faced and at the same time rather docile looking, as if at the first sign of hurt he would the tears on his face would fall like raindrops on a pear blossom. The prisoners who hadn’t had any release for a long time eyed him hungrily like wolves, almost drooling at the prospect of him.
They wanted to turn Shen Xiao Shi into a “woman” to vent their ugly desires, and they schemed meticulously as they planned to make a move at the public baths, when it was most convenient for them.
Shen Xiao Shi was aware of the danger earlier on and didn’t feel afraid, however, his opponents were plentiful in numbers, and they weren’t like the average citizen, who weren’t as well versed in fighting. He was held down forcibly by multiple people as they pressed down hard on his hands and feet, and his mouth was covered. It looked as if he had lost, when suddenly, in the corner amidst the mist, a young man’s voice rang out in the air.
“Hey, he’s a kid from our cell, don’t touch him.”
Shen Xiao Shi struggled to lift his head as his eyes looked towards the source of the sound and fell on his cellmate, the man named Lu Feng. He slowly turned off the shower head, as he walked over.
One of the people who had Shen Xiao Shi pressed down snarled at him, “Don’t interrupt. We know San ge protects you, so as a nod to him we won’t touch you. However, this one – San ge didn’t say he would cover for.”
Hearing this, Lu Feng tousled his wet hair, as the corners of his mouth twitched, his smile taking on a ruffian look, “I need Wei Shi to protect me? Why don’t you guys take a proper look, I’ve been here since I was eighteen, when did Wei Shi come in? I need him to cover for me?” He threw down the wet towel on his body as it hit the floor hard with a thud as he continued, “Alright, let’s stop with the chit chat. I’ll ask you all again, you’re not planning to stop, are you?”
The leader of the assembled gang was not someone who was easy to deal with, and his gaze turned treacherous as it roamed up and down Lu Feng. He replied back, “If you insist on meddling, then don’t blame us later if we don’t go easy on you.”
The rest of them, due to being on guard against Lu Feng, had temporarily loosened in their hold over Shen Xiao Shi. Shen Xiao Shi seized this opportunity as he suddenly struggled, rolling and finding himself kicking one of them in the crotch, as the man screamed and fell to the ground.
Lu Feng took a few steps forward, and delivered a punch to the prisoner on the nose, as he joined the battle.
With two against five, though they were down on numbers, and the location in which they fought being even more disadvantageous, they didn’t find themselves losing at all. The prison guards broke through and whistled as they waved their batons to separate the fight. When they saw that Lu Feng and Shen Xiao Shi came out rather unscathed, but the other group donned patches of green and purple on their faces, they were a little confused for a while.
Later, everyone involved in the fight was locked up in a solitary cell, and Shen Xiao Shi was no exception. However he and Lu Feng were both only locked up for only 24 hours, whilst the other prisoners who were the instigators were locked up for a whole three days and three nights before they were released.
After he and Lu Feng came out, they were told to write a letter of guarantee of a thousand words, so they both returned to the cell to arduously fill up the word count.
Before long, the cell door opened, and several others who participated in recreational activities returned. When they saw Lu Feng, they all took the initiative to say hello to him. The last person to enter was a tall and well built man, his muscular frame being marked by a garish Guanyin bodhisattva tattoo. The Guanyin on his arm looked markedly different from the ones he saw in temples, her phoenix eyes narrowing slightly, her face beautiful in a bewitching way.
And the man himself had thick eyebrows and large eyes, the typical look of someone from northern China. His appearance was firm set and upright, being the polar opposite to Shen Xiao Shi.
As soon as he came in and saw Lu Feng, he didn’t say a word as he sat beside the two of them before he raised his chin and started, “Go on, what happened?”
Though Shen Xiao Shi had only been here for a month and didn’t know anyone, he knew that this man was Wei Shi, the “boss” of their cell. Lu Feng recounted the whole story to Wei Shi, who said nothing after hearing it. After two days had passed rather uneventfully and those people were released out of solitary, no one knew what he said to them, but afterwards no one dared to touch Shen Xiao Shi again.
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Though the way they looked at him still made him uncomfortable, but it was like there was a sharp sword pressed against the back of their necks, inhibiting them from acting rashly.
At the same time, due to Lu Feng stepping in and helping him earlier, it caused a fundamental shift in how Shen Xiao Shi regarded his cellmates, as he no longer covered himself in spikes and began to accept the kindness given to him from others.
Looking back at it, it was strange. Lu Feng was the one who had rescued Shen Xiao Shi, but gradually, it was him and Wei Shi that got closer.
It wasn’t that there was anything wrong with Lu Feng either. It was due to the fact that Shen Xiao Shi had lost his father since he was a child, and later his stepfather was easily irritable, with his mother being an easy pushover. Given this, he was never really exposed to any older males who could be regarded as a decent role model.
Wei Shi was a whole ten years older than him, and usually paid extra attention in taking care of him. As time passed, these feelings he had were projected onto Wei Shi in an act of transference. Every time he interacted with Wei Shi and received a ruffling of his hair or a word of praise, he would develop an inexplicable sense of satisfaction, as if he was recovering parts of his childhood from the other party.
“San ge, does everyone call you the third brother because you’re the third oldest at home?”
After having dinner and watching the news program, the prisoners were all let back into their cells. Around this time, everyone received two hours of free time, so those that wanted to read read, those that wanted to exercise did that, and there were also quite a few people who did nothing but blank out into space.
Shen Xiao Shi sat on the ground with his knees in his arms. He didn’t like to read, nor did he like exercising, so he could only harass Wei Shi.
Wei Shi was wearing a small tank top, his arms clearly exposed. As he did his push-ups, lifting his body up and down, his biceps also swelled and contracted, his power pulsing eminently in his presence.
He had almost done a hundred push-ups, but his breath still remained steady.
“Ah? Oh, yeah, I also have an elder brother and an older sister.” He said, as he sat up and finished his exercise for the night, his tanned skin covered with a sheen layer of sweat, his face appearing extraordinarily rosy.
“That’s so good, I just have a younger brother, and we’re not really tight.” Shen Xiao Shi looked at Lu Feng who was writing a letter at the desk, and asked loudly, “Feng ge, do you have any siblings?”
Lu Feng stopped writing for a second, then turned around. “I have an older brother.” He said, his expression carrying a hint of pride, “He’s super smart, and really handsome.”
Judging by Lu Feng’s appearance, his brother should also be good looking. Shen Xiao Shi didn’t doubt his words, and felt even more envious in his heart. He had always been jealous of those who had fathers and older brothers.
Growing up, he had always been told that a boy should protect his mother and take care of his younger brother. He had to be like a man, to hide his tears and swallow any hardships.
For the first fourteen years, he had resolutely followed these principles. When his mother wept helplessly, he leapt in front of her without hesitation, and took the raining blows from his stepfather. When his younger brother cried in fear, he acted as a reliable older brother, providing him with comfort and thinking of ways to make him laugh.
However, as he turned fifteen, on an evening when the sky was basked with the afterglow of the setting sun, he suddenly decided he didn’t want to live like this anymore.
He would also tire, he would also want someone to share the burden with him, and he would also envy the sons and younger brothers who were taken care of – so he fled.
His choice to run away from home was the result of his utmost disappointment in his mother, but even moreso it was to escape the depressing family environment he was in. He couldn’t take it any longer, and he didn’t want to be that ‘pillar’ that held everything together anymore.
“That must be great.” Shen Xiao Shi rested his chin, feeling a wash of sadness within, “I wish I had an elder brother.”
Wei Shi lifted his tank top to wipe the sweat off his face in a rather casual manner, and then directed a smile to him, flashing two rows of white teeth.
“Look at what you’re saying right now, Lu Feng and I are not qualified to be your older brothers, huh?” He raised his dark eyebrows, “You call us ‘ge’ on the outside, but inside you’re thinking who the hell are you guys?”
Shen Xiao Shi dropped his hands as he walked to meet him face to face in two steps, his face appearing exceptionally earnest, “I don’t want you to be my brother…”
Wei Shi was stunned for a moment, as he stared at the boy’s youthful and pale face. He felt like his heart was suddenly pinched by a rabbit’s tail, as it felt suddenly numb and itchy.
This kid, with his naturally titillating words, was going to be the end of him.
Wei Shi liked men, especially handsome and strong men. Though Shen Xiao Shi was not his type, this didn’t prevent his heart from skipping a beat at this moment.
However, in the next second, the newly formed charm was completely shattered by Shen Xiao Shi’s words.
“I want you to be my dad.”
Wei Shi’s face was blank for a moment, as he felt a little dazed, the numb and itchy touch instantly turning hot, becoming fire born from the friction, before it finally culminated into a curse as he blurted, “Shit, Shen Xiao Shi, you’re fucked.” Though he had shaved his head and might appear to not be as young, it wasn’t so bad that he would want to have him as a father right? At this age, he had no intention of admitting a godson.
Meanwhile Shen Xiao Shi looked as if he had finally succeeded in his plot, as he wrapped both hands across his own torso and lay on the ground, kicking his feet in the air as he laughed uncontrollably.
Wei Shi saw him laugh like this, and slowly his anger subsided. He regarded the whole affair as a little kid pulling a prank, as he didn’t take it seriously and shook his head, climbing into bed to sleep instead.
Except Shen Xiao Shi wasn’t joking. If he could, he wished his father was someone like Wei Shi. Strong, mature, reliable, and if the sky came falling down, it would be him who would bear its weight first. In front of him, he could be a real child, without needing to force himself to grow up and become a “man” who didn’t shed blood or tears.
Later, a private detective who specialised in investigating extramarital affairs joined their cell. He had a lot of bizarre stories to tell, and Shen Xiao Shi heard a lot of curious gossip from him. As the newcomer had a small and thin frame, everyone referred to him as “Monkey”.
Shen Xiao Shi originally thought that every day during the four years he would have to spend in this cell would pass excruciatingly slowly, in such a way that he would prefer death over this, but he never would have expected to make such close friends. Therefore, he actually felt like this whole ordeal was actually a blessing in disguise.
However, there was no such thing as a gathering that did not end with everyone dispersing. Wei Shi was the first to leave the prison, followed by Yi Da Zhuang, and then Shen Xiao Shi.
The night before he left, Shen Xiao Shi could hardly fall asleep. He was excited to welcome his new life, but was also worried about Lu Feng who would continue to remain behind bars.
Lu Feng’s mother was diagnosed with a terminal illness not long ago, and for the past few days Lu Feng had been feeling perpetually down, as he didn’t even send that many letters anymore. If he could, Shen Xiao Shi really wouldn’t have wanted to leave at this time.
Unfortunately, he had no say in this matter.
Early the next morning, the guards opened the electronic door and had him follow behind. Before leaving, he gave Lu Feng a big hug, and promised that in a year, when Lu Feng was released from prison, he would definitely come to pick him up.
“Go.” Lu Feng said, as he patted him on the back. His face appeared a little tired, but his smile was very sincere.
Shen Xiao Shi slowly walked out of the cell, gave him one last look, waved his hand, and then left with the prison guard.
When he came in, he had nothing with him. When he left, Shen Xiao Shi still had nothing in his possessions, other than a new set of clothes which were sent to him by Wei Shi, as he walked to the gate.
When the big iron gate, covered with barbed wires slowly opened from both sides, a black SUV appeared in Shen Xiao Shi’s field of vision, along with Wei Shi who was wearing sunglasses and leaning against the door.
Wei Shi was a very practical person. When he was inside, every month the prisoners would receive a haircut, and since everyone had a desire to look good, usually the prisoners would not ask for the barber to shave all their hair off. At most, they would ask for a buzz cut. However, Wei Shi wasn’t like the others, he asked for a clean shave, one that left him looking like a monk.
When paired with the Guanyin tattoo on his arm, the first time Yi Da Zhuang entered their cell his first question to Wei Shi was if he believed in Buddhism.
Now that he was out of prison, he seemed to have forfeited the practice of shaving his head. However, he didn’t leave his hair growing for too long either, as he opted for a buzzcut, the type of haircut that seemed to only look good on particular faces.
Fortunately, he had a standard head shape and strong facial features. When he wore his sunglasses and showed off his tattooed arms, he gave off a cool aura, like he was a hired mercenary who was about to go to the Sahara to perform a secret mission, and so he easily withstood the test of the buzzcut.
“Let’s go, your older brother will take you to eat something delicious.” Wei Shi said, as he saw Shen Xiao Shi coming out and embraced him in a powerful hug. He then patted him a few times, imparting vigorous slaps on his back.
Shen Xiao Shi smelled the smoke on his jacket, and felt oddly relieved.
“San ge, from now on, I ride with you.”
After Wei Shi was released from prison, he quickly utilised his business talents and tapped into his vast network of connections as he emptied his savings and opened a pawn shop in the bustling city centre.
Shen Xiao Shi hadn’t studied seriously since he was a child, but as soon as he came out, he was sent to take a three-month class and developed skills to appraise various luxury items, and even took the test to become formally certified.
Though he did not have a high level of education, he was smart, young and eager to learn. He managed to pass several certifications smoothly, and not only that, under the guidance of Wei Shi, he managed the pawn shop well as it operated prosperously and their WeChat page gathered over five thousand friends in just one year.
Seeing that Lu Feng was about to be released from prison soon, Wei Shi felt that the time was right, and so he spent all his savings once more to open a second pawn shop, and transferred Shen Xiao Shi to help Lu Feng run the second branch together.
Shen Xiao Shi sometimes wondered how there could be someone like Wei Shi in this world. Not only did he pay to send him and Lu Feng to develop their skills, but he also opened another shop specifically so that they could all have a stable job. Further, if any of his friends had an accident, he would go to help without another word.
Shen Xiao Shi wasn’t old, but he wasn’t young either. If he really thought about it, almost a quarter of his life has passed. He had met so many people throughout, but he had only met one such “Wei Shi”.
Wei Shi’s kindness made Shen Xiao Shi particularly cherish this eldest brother, this friend of his.
He thought that they would have such a relationship for the rest of their lives. They weren’t tied by blood, but somehow they were closer than brothers.
However, he could have never thought that this relationship was so fragile, so fragile that a little alcohol, a little drunkenness, could completely subvert it.
The messy fragments of his memory were accompanied by a kiss that was pungent with the smell of alcohol and scorched breaths. The recollection of the touch beneath his hand made Shen Xiao Shi wake up with a start every time, as if needles were piercing his mind. He was scared to continue down this line of thought, and he didn’t want to either.
After the ordeal with his mother, he seemed to be betrayed again.
This angered him, as he felt consumed with a monstrous rage. The ire burned through his reason, and as soon as he opened his eyes, he first thought darted to where he stored his kitchen knife at home, as his mind was occupied wholly with the plan of chopping up Wei Shi, the damned pervert. He was so vexed that he completely forgot that he didn’t even cook, so such a thing like a kitchen knife didn’t even exist in his home.
At the same time, Wei Shi also woke up, and though he didn’t feel the danger yet, he had a hand resting on his forehead, his expression darkened, as if he was currently dealing with a mighty hangover.
Then, he froze suddenly, as he dropped his hand and traced his eyes along the outlines of the messy bed sheets, before they landed on Shen Xiao Shi.
He didn’t know whether Shen Xiao Shi’s eyes were red from the hangover or from his anger, but they were so bloodshot that Wei Shi’s heart, which was already panicked, fell into even greater disarray.
“I…” Wei Shi’s voice was hoarse, as the seconds stretched out, leaving him at a loss for words.
Shen Xiao Shi stared at him firmly, his words leaping out of his mouth, his tone unprecedentedly cold.
“Wei Shi, are you gay?”
The man stared at him blankly, his expression turning even more ashen than when he first woke up.
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