Chapter 1: 1. Grave mistake

There were too many mistakes I had made in my life...

Usually, my parent would only gave me a light advice, satire, or even pointing my mistakes, 

At this first stage, they did it mostly in easy and indirect way.

Sometimes, they would be angry and give me a warning. It could be hidden or showed clearly. 

At this point, an uncofortable aura could be felt and I would begin to lessen the quantity of our meeting.

Then, they would give a direct respon and interference. A dissapointement, rejection, dissagreement and other simmilar things was showed. 

They would try to not only show and to not only point, but also went as far as grabbing my hand thightly and forced me to walk on better path. 

There were also high chance of Punishment and saction would be appear to make me aware of my wrongdoings.

At this point, punishment might appear.

I would begin evade an eye contacts or even purposely act busy and act as if I  didn't Saw them. Even they were currently sitting infront of me.

So that they wouldn't see my wrongdoings and Ofc, wouldn't worsen our relationship.

A great fear of my own wrong action born because my parents action forced me to be aware of what I was doing was wrong.

To stand up and change myself was really a challenging matters. It was like a very bitter medicine and like a path full of thorn that pained me so much.

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Lastly, they would give up, being quite and try to accept me. Idk how great despair  and helpless they felt that they could only surrender and pray to the God about my good sake and future. 

From this scrach... You should able to guessed easily which stage I experienced at the moment. 

To be honest, I was crying and felt worthless. I did want to end all of this. 

But,...

The fact that I was alive... It was showed me that the God still give me a chance.

The fact that my parent were also still alive... Clearly showed me that there were still a chance to be forgiven and a chance to Repair our relationship.

It's not easy path. 

But, I would try my best...

Please, pray for me...

I do hope the God Will show me the way and gave me a constant guidance.

I also do hope you can take a lesson from this, so that we can stand up and being better and better together.

For a our own TRUE eternal happiness

Aameen

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