Episode 48 – For some reason, I can’t sleep because of the goddess.

Posted byGod KingJune 13, 2021Posted inMegami-sama

The room was quite dim, lit only by a small light bulb.
I guess I’m getting used to the darkness, and I can see the figure of the riajus sleeping in the middle of the room.

I know I’m in the way, but since Fuji-san is sleeping beside him I can’t really leave.

So because of this, Rin and I had to lie down near the edge of the room.

To be honest, this situation with the two of us lying together was unwanted and not my intention.
Of course, it was Kenichi’s fault, but…
I had originally planned to offer Rin a place to sleep and spend the night sitting in the hallway or in the bathroom.

But she stubbornly refused for me to do so, saying,
“Not sleeping is bad for your health.”

The distance between us was close, and we were both wearing light clothing, so the synergistic effect was that the heat was being transmitted directly to me.
In addition, the season is summer.
So it’s unbearably hot.

Well, there’s no point in complaining.
It’s the sort of thing that can happen when four people stay together in a small room.

I heard a cute yawn from the goddess beside me.

“Why don’t you go to bed?”

“No, it’s all right. I’m definitely sleepy, but I’d like to talk to you about something.”

“I see.”

I heard another adorable yawn.
I don’t think it’s necessary to overdo it, but if you’re a high school student, you’ll usually get excited and say, “I won’t sleep until morning!” Or something along those lines.
It’s the same phenomenon as not sleeping at night on a school trip.

Well, I would sleep comfortably even in such a situation.
…Unless it’s something like this.

“Kotone-chan and Kato-san have fallen asleep.”

“That’s right. ‘Come on! Let’s talk until morning!’ Isn’t it a little too goofy for a guy who was so excited about it to fall asleep?

After that Kenichi said, ‘I’m going to recharge my batteries so I can talk!’ and then fell asleep.

“Fufu. That’s true.”

“Now…”

“…”

The conversation died down and the room fell silent.

“Hey, Rin.” “Towa-kun …”

I guess we both couldn’t stand the silence.
We both spoke out at the same time and fell silent again.

“Let’s start with …, Towa-kun.”

“No, I really didn’t have anything to say, so you can start.”

“Is that so? Then I’ll take your word for it…”

Rin twisted her body around to look at me as she laid down.
The distance between our faces is so close that you can almost notice the small changes in our expressions.
If it had been brighter, she probably would have seen the blush on my face.

However, I’m having trouble with where to look.
Even in the dark, I can’t look at her this close.

I move to turn my face away, but Rin’s hand stops me, forcing me to look at her.

“Look people in the eye when you talk to them.”

“You’re too close… I’m nervous…”

“This is also part of the process of making Towa-kun a decent person.”

“Oh, yes, there was something like that…”

“So let’s have a conversation without turning away.”

“……Understood”

I look at Rin’s eyes even though her behavior is a little suspicious.
Rin watched me intently.
She didn’t seem particularly nervous, well she was the quintessential goddess of riajus.

“OK … Then let’s continue the story.”

“That’s right. First of all, why is Towa-kun insensitive?”

“I don’t know!”

My voice got louder as I reflexively replied, and Rin put her finger to her mouth to shushed me.

“I’m sorry… I don’t know what you’re talking about. That was…”

“I see…Then what do you think of love?”

“That’s a very vague question.”

“Please answer”

I pause for a moment and take a breath.
And I just answered, “It’s a hassle, that kind of thing.”

Kenichi would have said, ‘No, it’s not! It’s a wonderful thing!’ And I’m sure the Goddess would say —

“I thought so too.”

The unexpected response left me at a loss for words.
Despite that, Rin laughed like a child who had succeeded in playing a prank, “Hmm, was that unexpected?”.

“Oh, I thought that the goddess and her riaju friends were romance supremacists.”

“That’s not the case? I’ve never been interested in romance until recently, either. Like Towa-kun, I wondered why they were trying so hard for something so tedious and unproductive.”

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“So you were surprisingly cold-hearted,”

“Yes, I was. I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone, so I’m probably not qualified to talk about love, but I’ve been courted before…”

I’ve only ever seen Rin confessed to once.
It was over in a split second, but…I see, there was more than that.

“It’s a lot of work, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it was. There were some people who were very persistent…But now I understand a little bit more about how they feel.”

“Yeah? You said you were thinking about it, so does that mean you’ve changed your mind?”

“Yes. I found out how wonderful it is to be crazy about one person.”

She smiled and took my hand in hers.
I wondered if my hands were sweating. I tried to distract myself from this by trying to worry about weird things…but that didn’t work.

“I didn’t know I had these feelings. I didn’t know that something could be bitter and painful, yet somehow warm and shiny…”

“I see, …I guess I’m just bitter, you know, about love.”

“That may be true, but it’s fun to imagine the happiness that might come in the midst of the pain, isn’t it?”

“It’s a delusion”

“That’s right, but no one knows if it ends with a delusion, because the delusion may turn into reality.”

“… maybe that’s the case.”

If you keep pursuing it one day, it might pay off.
I don’t want to think about who it is …

“Also, there’s one thing I’ve learned from talking to you, Towa-kun.”

“You have?”

“Yes. Do you know what it is, Towa-kun?”

I wondered if there was anything that she could learn from this exchange.
I remembered what I had said and tried to clear my head as much as possible.

I racked my brain, but no conclusion came to me.
I just groan, “Hmm.”

“The answer is simple.”

“Yeah?”

“The answer is simple, you’re not as insensitive as you think, Towa-kun.”

The words chilled me as if ice had been placed on my chest.

But I’ve got to keep calm and collected.

“As I said earlier, I don’t really understand. The word insensitive is just another person’s assessment, and I can’t judge for myself.”

I said plainly.

“You said it earlier, didn’t you, Towa-kun? I called love just painful. It’s a feeling that people who don’t know what love is don’t understand.”

“…Yeah, maybe.

“Can you talk to me about…?

“I don’t have any. I never have and I never will…”

She muttered a sad, “Is that so …” and didn’t ask any more.

After about 10 minutes of silence, Rin leaned in close to me and wrapped her arms around me.

“Someday…Towa-kun…will…not be afraid …”

But she didn’t say it to the end and instead took a breath and started sleeping.
I’m sure that Rin, who always leads a regular life, was at the limit of her sleepiness.
I was relieved to see that she had fallen asleep.

“Running out of gas in the strangest place, huh?”

I chuckled and draped her with the blanket I had left at her feet.

“Thank you, Towa-kun…”

I thought I heard her say that faintly, as if she was talking in her sleep.

But I’m in trouble…
I can’t get away from her even if I wanted to.

Rin snuggled into my arms like a pillow.
She looked like a child sleeping with her parents, and I found her innocence adorable.

It’s just that I’m having a very hard time putting my thoughts together…because of the soft feeling I’ve never felt before on my arm.

“Damn ……, you’re really too defenseless.”

I let out a sigh naturally.
I can’t help but be conscious when someone does this to me.

I look up to the sky and see a light bulb glowing faintly.

Please…　
Don’t let me get my hopes up…　

I couldn’t go to sleep because I was at a loss on how to sort out this uncontrollable emotion.

 

TL Note: Welp, the schedule I set for myself obviously didn’t end up happening. I got accepted into my chosen university, so I’ve been spending more time working on school then I’m comfortable with.

I spent more time editing this chapter than I did the previous one, so hopefully the quality is up to par. If not let me know what to improve on and I’ll keep an eye out for it next chapter.

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