For Your Failed Unrequited Love
The scent of Lucy’s hair caused Felix to unconsciously rub his face on her. Lucy, who was struggling in his arms, patted Felix on the back.
Then he released the arm that was holding Lucy. People around them were still whispering and looking at them with surprised expressions.
Lucy grumbled, furiously pushing his chest away.
“There are people watching…….”
“Let them see,”
Lucy’s eyes widened at his confident response, but she grinned with an irresistible look the next moment.
“You’ve become more brazen. Is this what power is like?”
“Yes, that’s right. It’s good to have power.”
Students had gathered around the two. The couple’s unexpected appearance gave them an excited look as they made a scene.
Lucy took Felix’s wrist and started walking out of the hall. The students were once again taken aback by Felix, who was dragged into her arms with no resistance.
They slowed their nearly running steps and began to walk slowly down the hall once they were clear of the spectators.
Felix delivered the news from Brom to Lucy after taking a breather on the empty third floor.
“A messenger came from Brom.”
In that one sentence, Lucy raised her head and looked up at Felix.
“All of your family is safe and sound. It seems they are protected in Count Dern’s castle.”
Lucy’s eyes quickly became teary after hearing about her family’s safety. She asked again in a trembling voice.
“…Really? Is that true?”
“Yes, indeed,”
The dark shade that had rarely left her face since the war broke out seemed to be removed for the first time. Lucy smiled brightly after a long time, recovering her bright smile.
“I’ll bring them to the capital. So don’t worry about anything and wait a little longer.”
As soon as his words were over, Lucy wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. Then she buried her face in his chest and clutched his hem tightly. A tearful voice came from her unseen face.
“Thank you very much…….”
Felix patted Lucy on the back, who kept murmuring thank you.
And at that moment, he was able to realize once again how sincere his feelings for Lucy were.
He was ready to do anything for her peace and safety.
“Have you heard from Baron Connor?”
Felix swept the back of his head with a troubled face.
Perhaps the Baron and his wife were guarding Brom. For the lord must never abandon his estate.
He remembered Colin’s face as he worried about his father going to war. When he thought of his dreary face, Felix felt terrible, too.
Lucy didn’t ask Felix, who didn’t answer, about Brom’s news anymore.
“I hope the war will end soon.”
Lucy muttered as she looked down at the floor. But the war had just begun.
They turned their heads out of the window at the same time. The campus seemed to be empty. Many boys had already left for the battlefield.
Felix could not believe the changes that had occurred in just a few weeks. The country and his family were rolling unpredictably.
Lucy held Felix’s hand and led him. When he felt the warmth, he felt a little relieved.
They walked in the empty hallway for a while after the students left.
* * *
The Berg servants hoped that the Duke’s vacancy would be filled as soon as possible. Furthermore, not only the butler but also his aides appeared to want Felix to succeed the duchy.
Felix, however, was unable to do so quickly. He felt uneasy, as if there was still a problem he hadn’t solved.
“I’ve never seen you eat with such zeal.”
It’s dinnertime. Felix said this while staring at Adrian, who sat across from him and ate everything in front of him. Adrian looked down at his plate, which had been emptied, with surprised eyes.
Then he smiled as he looked at Felix and his mother.
“I know. Maybe it’s because it’s been a while since the whole family had a meal together.”
Adrian glanced at the empty upper seat.
After the Duke collapsed, the atmosphere in the Berg family changed. First of all, the Duchess no longer looked like a ghost wandering through the mansion. She didn’t act like a coward or a timid person.
The same was true of Adrian. He laughed more than before, and showed as much enthusiasm reviewing documents as Felix did.
However, unlike the Duchess, Adrian felt a strange sense of incompatibility.
Felix, who was born and brought up with him, knew instinctively.
Adrian’s smile was all made up. There must have been something wrong with him.
“Look, Felix,” said he, standing on the railing, looking around at the wide view of Berg.
“This has always been a place that keeps me breathless, but not anymore. It looks so peaceful now.”
His brother stood with a calm look on his face, as if he had no real worries. Felix was not convinced.
Adrian looked at his brother, who had no answer, and said,
“You look very tired,”
Felix’s face was a little emaciated because he hadn’t slept enough to review the papers for days.
“I don’t usually like sitting at my desk.”
“You’re lying.” replied Adrian, smiling.
“…I’ve always known. That you are deliberately making mistakes in your exam questions and pretending to be insincere in class.”
Adrian suddenly bowed with regret.
“I was afraid that if you were too perfect as the successor, father would think I was useless, and that he would not try to use me more. I knew you were doing it on purpose, but I pretended not to know.”
Felix listened to him silently. He wasn’t surprised or angry at all. He just wanted to put the past behind him.
Adrian suddenly revealed a serious fact to Felix.
“Felix, you don’t have to find someone for me. I’ll go to the battlefield.”
“…I’ve already told you, but you can’t.” replied Felix firmly. Adrian didn’t back down and immediately refuted it.
“Didn’t you say with your own mouth that we should correct the wrongdoings of our family? But you’re planning to buy an innocent young man with money and drive him to death? Because of me, who’s not worth it?”
The words sent Felix into a rage..
“Why aren’t you worth it? You are my family. I’m willing to pay more to avoid sending you to war.”
“No,”
Adrian interrupted him with a precarious look.
“I’m not such a good family as you think.”
“What are you talking about?”
Adrian hesitated for a long time after saying something meaningful. He bit his lip, took a deep breath, and his eyelids quivered.
What are you blaming yourself for again?
Felix looked at him with regret and disapproval.
What are you worrying about alone?
His younger brother, who rarely reveals his true feelings. He didn’t know what he was thinking at this moment, but Adrian was Felix’s only brother, friend, and half.
Whatever he said, Felix was ready to listen and comfort him. So he waited.
Then Adrian looked up as if he had made up his mind. Then he slowly opened his mouth and uttered an unexpected remark.
“…mother was indifferent to you because of me.”
Adrian’s eyes shook.
“After I realized father was trying to kill me, I cried and begged mother to love me more than you.”
The wind of early winter blew through the terrace, scattering the brothers’ hair, but they didn’t move a bit from their position.
“I was so envious of you, who took everything in this family, and even avoided the deadly touch of our father. I was resentful for a time. So I begged mother. I beg her to love me more than he loves you. To please love me more, even if it’s just her…….”
His unexpected confession left Felix speechless. Hearing it made him dizzy.
Say something.
His head gave orders in front of his brother’s face. At that moment, however, he could not think of any words.
Adrian confessed one more shocking fact to him.
“And I’m the one who made father like that.”
“What?”
“I am the one who kept him from moving forever.”
Felix frowned at the sudden remark.
“Father collapsed from overwork.”
“No,…That night, right after father collapsed, I didn’t call anyone on purpose. I just watched him slowly as he was on the verge of dying. If I had called someone, it wouldn’t have gone that far.”
All that remained of Adrian’s face now was regret.
“Do you understand now? Felix, I’m the one who made you feel lonely all your life and drove our father to the brink of death. I don’t want to commit any more sins.”
He breathed out slowly. Then he said,
“So allow me to go to war and atone for my sins.”
Chapter 105: 105
Then he released the arm that was holding Lucy. People around them were still whispering and looking at them with surprised expressions.
Lucy grumbled, furiously pushing his chest away.
“There are people watching…….”
“Let them see,”
Lucy’s eyes widened at his confident response, but she grinned with an irresistible look the next moment.
“You’ve become more brazen. Is this what power is like?”
“Yes, that’s right. It’s good to have power.”
Students had gathered around the two. The couple’s unexpected appearance gave them an excited look as they made a scene.
Lucy took Felix’s wrist and started walking out of the hall. The students were once again taken aback by Felix, who was dragged into her arms with no resistance.
They slowed their nearly running steps and began to walk slowly down the hall once they were clear of the spectators.
Felix delivered the news from Brom to Lucy after taking a breather on the empty third floor.
“A messenger came from Brom.”
In that one sentence, Lucy raised her head and looked up at Felix.
“All of your family is safe and sound. It seems they are protected in Count Dern’s castle.”
Lucy’s eyes quickly became teary after hearing about her family’s safety. She asked again in a trembling voice.
“…Really? Is that true?”
“Yes, indeed,”
The dark shade that had rarely left her face since the war broke out seemed to be removed for the first time. Lucy smiled brightly after a long time, recovering her bright smile.
“I’ll bring them to the capital. So don’t worry about anything and wait a little longer.”
“Thank you very much…….”
Felix patted Lucy on the back, who kept murmuring thank you.
And at that moment, he was able to realize once again how sincere his feelings for Lucy were.
He was ready to do anything for her peace and safety.
“Have you heard from Baron Connor?”
Felix swept the back of his head with a troubled face.
Perhaps the Baron and his wife were guarding Brom. For the lord must never abandon his estate.
He remembered Colin’s face as he worried about his father going to war. When he thought of his dreary face, Felix felt terrible, too.
Lucy didn’t ask Felix, who didn’t answer, about Brom’s news anymore.
“I hope the war will end soon.”
Lucy muttered as she looked down at the floor. But the war had just begun.
They turned their heads out of the window at the same time. The campus seemed to be empty. Many boys had already left for the battlefield.
Felix could not believe the changes that had occurred in just a few weeks. The country and his family were rolling unpredictably.
Lucy held Felix’s hand and led him. When he felt the warmth, he felt a little relieved.
They walked in the empty hallway for a while after the students left.
* * *
The Berg servants hoped that the Duke’s vacancy would be filled as soon as possible. Furthermore, not only the butler but also his aides appeared to want Felix to succeed the duchy.
Felix, however, was unable to do so quickly. He felt uneasy, as if there was still a problem he hadn’t solved.
“I’ve never seen you eat with such zeal.”
Then he smiled as he looked at Felix and his mother.
“I know. Maybe it’s because it’s been a while since the whole family had a meal together.”
Adrian glanced at the empty upper seat.
After the Duke collapsed, the atmosphere in the Berg family changed. First of all, the Duchess no longer looked like a ghost wandering through the mansion. She didn’t act like a coward or a timid person.
The same was true of Adrian. He laughed more than before, and showed as much enthusiasm reviewing documents as Felix did.
However, unlike the Duchess, Adrian felt a strange sense of incompatibility.
Felix, who was born and brought up with him, knew instinctively.
Adrian’s smile was all made up. There must have been something wrong with him.
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Adrian, who had eaten first, rose from his seat and headed out to the terrace. Felix followed him quietly. Adrian looked back, feeling his presence.“Look, Felix,” said he, standing on the railing, looking around at the wide view of Berg.
“This has always been a place that keeps me breathless, but not anymore. It looks so peaceful now.”
His brother stood with a calm look on his face, as if he had no real worries. Felix was not convinced.
Adrian looked at his brother, who had no answer, and said,
“You look very tired,”
Felix’s face was a little emaciated because he hadn’t slept enough to review the papers for days.
“I don’t usually like sitting at my desk.”
“You’re lying.” replied Adrian, smiling.
“…I’ve always known. That you are deliberately making mistakes in your exam questions and pretending to be insincere in class.”
Adrian suddenly bowed with regret.
Felix listened to him silently. He wasn’t surprised or angry at all. He just wanted to put the past behind him.
Adrian suddenly revealed a serious fact to Felix.
“Felix, you don’t have to find someone for me. I’ll go to the battlefield.”
“…I’ve already told you, but you can’t.” replied Felix firmly. Adrian didn’t back down and immediately refuted it.
“Didn’t you say with your own mouth that we should correct the wrongdoings of our family? But you’re planning to buy an innocent young man with money and drive him to death? Because of me, who’s not worth it?”
The words sent Felix into a rage..
“Why aren’t you worth it? You are my family. I’m willing to pay more to avoid sending you to war.”
“No,”
Adrian interrupted him with a precarious look.
“I’m not such a good family as you think.”
“What are you talking about?”
Adrian hesitated for a long time after saying something meaningful. He bit his lip, took a deep breath, and his eyelids quivered.
What are you blaming yourself for again?
Felix looked at him with regret and disapproval.
What are you worrying about alone?
His younger brother, who rarely reveals his true feelings. He didn’t know what he was thinking at this moment, but Adrian was Felix’s only brother, friend, and half.
Whatever he said, Felix was ready to listen and comfort him. So he waited.
Then Adrian looked up as if he had made up his mind. Then he slowly opened his mouth and uttered an unexpected remark.
“…mother was indifferent to you because of me.”
“After I realized father was trying to kill me, I cried and begged mother to love me more than you.”
The wind of early winter blew through the terrace, scattering the brothers’ hair, but they didn’t move a bit from their position.
“I was so envious of you, who took everything in this family, and even avoided the deadly touch of our father. I was resentful for a time. So I begged mother. I beg her to love me more than he loves you. To please love me more, even if it’s just her…….”
His unexpected confession left Felix speechless. Hearing it made him dizzy.
Say something.
His head gave orders in front of his brother’s face. At that moment, however, he could not think of any words.
Adrian confessed one more shocking fact to him.
“And I’m the one who made father like that.”
“What?”
“I am the one who kept him from moving forever.”
Felix frowned at the sudden remark.
“Father collapsed from overwork.”
“No,…That night, right after father collapsed, I didn’t call anyone on purpose. I just watched him slowly as he was on the verge of dying. If I had called someone, it wouldn’t have gone that far.”
All that remained of Adrian’s face now was regret.
“Do you understand now? Felix, I’m the one who made you feel lonely all your life and drove our father to the brink of death. I don’t want to commit any more sins.”
He breathed out slowly. Then he said,
“So allow me to go to war and atone for my sins.”
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