Chapter 4: 2 : The First Night Without You

 

You once dreamed of running freely on a beach of warm sand
While the sun painted in a cloudless sky would kiss our skin
Alas, we walk our day with our heads low
Not even seeing the plumage of the birds above

 

Tsuki had walked for a few hours in the strange misty forest. And now, the first orange rays of sunlight were starting to peek through the dense foliage and adding the multitude of colors that the surrounding had lacked these few hours. It warmed her thin frame which had moved barefoot over the cold dew of the early hours of the day. Her body was incredibly weak, and she felt as if she was about to faint. Alice used to be bedridden for most of her life and for Tsuki, a girl that was physically fit for her age, who was stuck in that body, it was an unpleasant experience. She had lost count of the number of times she had fallen by not being able to control this new body correctly. As she passed a large bush, the calming scenery of a flowery field managed to alleviate some of her tiredness by making her remember some rare precious childhood memories.

She used to be a shepherd who slept and ate wherever her flock or the wind took her. Be it a forest with a soft floor of dead leaves or a rocky mountain cliff, she would find a way to survive anywhere. Her favorite scenery was that of a grassy hillside which led to a cold river. It was a place that was imprinted in her memory – a rare memory of her past which hung to her unlike most after an unfortunate accident. She could distinctly remember the feeling of walking in this grassy hillside no matter if it was raining or if the sun was burning. She could see herself walk over the river using an old wooden bridge and not far from there was a small enclosure of fruity trees and colorful flowers in bloom. This blooming would only happen at certain times of the year, but she had missed none. Always finding a way to go to this spectacle of nature with a small basket of food to spend the day dancing among the fluttering petals carried by the wind. But this memory of dancing brought her back to her miserable state: there was no way she could dance with this feeble body. Filled with wounds from the many falls; filled with blisters on her unprotected feet; filled with cuts from small branches...And worst of those small wounds, the thing which troubled her most was to think about the many things she had forgotten about her past. She couldn’t remember if she even had parents. So, would she also forget Alice? It was unlikely since it was a major event which forced her to forget things. Yet, if it was to happen, it’s likely that she wouldn’t be able to continue living. For now, she knew she couldn’t simply cry and needed to move forward until a way to bring Alice back manifested itself. Be it one step at a time in this strange misty forest.

The cold dew slowly evaporated while the hunger and thirst of Tsuki hardened in her stomach. She walked a few steps by helping herself with a dead branch until she could see a sparkling surface, a small current of water that flowed calmly and produced an alluring sound for the thirsty girl. Was it a mirage or a trap of some kind? Those questions didn’t even pass through her cloudy mind, and she quickly left the flowery misty forest to dip her small feet in the cold water. The frozen sensation that she hadn’t expected managed to climb in an instant starting with her leg and then her lower back all the way until it hit her spine and the back of her head. It gave her a shock, pushing all of her focus on her freezing feet which were trying not to slip on the mossy stone of the riverbed. Suddenly, there was a splash of water not far from her which broke her focus and made her fall on her left side. Since the water wasn’t really deep, her arm managed to hit the ground with just enough force to leave a bruise. It was a small innocent fish fault. She saw it as she fell; it jumped out of the water to catch a leaf for some strange reason.

For a moment, she simply laid in the current and tried her best to listen for any noise which could be coming closer. While she was at it, she took a few sips of the cold water by simply opening her mouth and letting the water inside. She wasn’t in the best of mood and a panoply of fish base recipes she knew was passing in her mind quickly. Although that vengeance should be served cold, she refused to trust that cursed leaf loving fish without a warm fire.

As such, Tsuki slowly moved on all four to a small and dry bank of sand that wasn’t too far. In the middle of it was a large teal boulder which stood proudly in the warm sunlight. It was like a beacon of warmth that Tsuki leaned on to chase her shiver. She even managed to find a spot where the cold morning wind was blocked by the rock while still being in the warm sunlight. Observing her surroundings to the best of her ability, she could only notice peacefulness all around. Other than the rippling of the water or the ruffling of the trees, there was no other sound. Not even a singing bird nor a violinist bug and also no drumming beast. She did see a fish, but one small part confused her. What instrument would fit one? But in all seriousness, the fact that she hadn’t even seen a simple bug worried her. They should be everywhere, be it flying, digging, swimming (but most likely just drowning), and being annoying. Yet, there was no sight of them. Maybe they didn’t exist in this world, but this felt unlikely. There was the ghostly butterfly she saw not too long ago, but it would be strange to consider them like normal bugs.

On the right of where she had come from was a calm segmented cascade which nourished a stream that bisected into two different currents around the little island she was resting at. The side she had come from was shallow and flown calmly while the other side was deeper and moved quickly. It was this deeper side which was inhabited by a few silvery fish – the same kind which had scared her. Drifting slowly was a mixture of dried orange leaves and strange luminescent leaves that were delicately falling above the water surface to be carried with the flow. At time, the silvery fish would pop their head above the water to take small bite of the luminescent leave only – and here was a familiar one who jumped high like a rising dragon to catch a brown leaf...If Tsuki didn’t despised this specific fish, she might have gained the inspiration to make a poem of sort. Alas, this task shall go to another.

Tsuki sat on the sand, her thin white leg sprawled on the coarse sand while her back rested on the warm stone, and she looked at the strange surroundings with a few tears rolling down her cheek. She tried to act strong by drying them with her hand and looked at the bag on her side which had also been submerged in water when she had fallen. She didn’t know what was inside and she thought it could be a good idea to look inside in case it contained something important. The sole existence of the bag and the box which were on both of her sides did comfort her a bit. Neither her nor Alice had those items on them when they tried to escape. After all, they looked expensive, and the two girls only had a few pennies to their name. Maybe it was someone who had placed them on her side. It would have been a cruel joke if it really was the case, but it would also mean that it was someone with a brain who would have separated Tsuki from Alice...Maybe it was the truth or maybe it wasn’t, but it somehow gave her hope. If there was a culprit, there should be a way to find them and there would also be a way to fix things.

Picking the red bag, Tsuki noticed the quality of its material that had blocked any water from damaging its inside. It was a soft red fur with red and white string to tie it up. As she untied the bag, she could feel her stomach rumbling and a small dizziness was starting to haunt her. Hopefully there would be something to eat inside the bag.

The first thing she saw was a small hardcover book with the title of: “The Book of Chalk”. Strangely, there was nothing written inside. The only thing of interest was a stack of long strips of paper with strange writing that was stuck between some pages. She tried to read them, but she didn’t understand any of them. It was odd since she was able to understand the name of the empty book, but not those attached strips of paper. In a way, they almost look to be the same shape as the blue falling leaves and when Tsuki took one that had just fallen on her side, she was able to see that they were the same but without color nor vivacity from a leaf. Maybe it was how paper was made in this word, she thought.

The next thing she pulled out was another set of similar clothing she was wearing. She didn’t take a moment to think and undressed to put on those dry clothes. In total, she had three sets. One was now drying on the large rock. Lastly, in a small brown bag was some strange granular cubes and a few soft cookies. She took no time at all to bite on one of those cookies with a smile on her face, but this smile soon turned to horror as she did her best to spit as much as she could while rinsing her mouth with water. It wasn’t that the taste was horrible; it did taste like the best cookie she had ever eaten. But she just remembered that Alice had some pretty bad allergies...She knew that egg, peanut, and exposure to sunlight was bad for Alice and there were a few other things she couldn’t digest well. She didn’t want to take this risk. When she first met Alice, she made her some cookies, and it was a horrible moment when she learned about allergies.

She hid in the shadow of the rock to hide from the sun. Her skin was itchy, her body hurt, she was lonely, and she was scared of this world. It would be an understatement to say that her mood wasn’t great. She sat with her head in her knee while trying not to shed a tear, but it was impossible. Her hands clutched her legs, pulling and scratching at it to try to change the bad thought in her mind; if pain could somehow numb her mind, maybe she wouldn’t feel so alone. Unfair. She didn’t understand why the world was so unfair to her. She had lost so much and the little she managed to get back was once again taken away from her. She couldn’t see how she could ever bloom back. She could only see an eternal winter in front of her.

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Tsuki didn’t feel good at all, but luckily for her, the small biscuit she took a bite of didn’t contain anything that could trigger an allergic reaction. It was only the exposure to sunlight which caused her some issues. Other than that, it was stress and panic that made her feel for the worst. Her skin was in a bad state and the wounds she got from walking in the dark were starting to feel more present. Her state of mind was already not in a good place and the small problems which came one after the other pushed her over the edge.

❀

 

In the first few hours of the day, when the sun hadn’t yet fully chased away the freezing touch of the night, a young girl no older than 14 years old cried silently. Tears of broken dream and aspiration glided down her sickly cheek to break on cold sand. Telling bed stories of a better tomorrow all put to waste. She lamented her unjust life and how much she missed Alice. Her wishful hope that she might still be with her was now striking as a curse. Being stuck in the weak, feeble, and useless body that had ruined Alice’s life for so long was simply cruel. She regretted having tried to escape. Even if she had to keep being a slave for life, even if she had to do the most repulsive work, and even if she had to forget who she was, if she could have stayed with Alice - be it just a single day or a few hours - being by her side would have been worth it.

She was the one who came with the idea of escaping. She did her best to convince Alice...She was the one who caused everything to end. Maybe it wasn’t a bad thing that she now had the body of Alice. At the very least, she wouldn’t have to see her own miserable and hateful face in a mirror. And also, she wouldn’t have the courage to kill herself like this.

She lamented her fate not caring for the sound she might have produced. Tears fell one after the other on the sand while her sob escaped in the wind. This lasted until something cold and scaly brushed off against her leg. She kicked around in a panic that whatever had touched her was a predator of some kind. With her luck, it wouldn’t surprise her, and this was exactly what was in front of her. Albeit it was a small snake that was now playing dead after getting scared by Tsuki’s sudden movement. Even though it looked silly and defenseless with only its white belly that could be seen, Tsuki was scared and ran away as fast as she could after taking her stuff. Her figure escaped in the darkness of the forest leaving the biscuit she had thrown somewhere.

❀

 

She didn’t manage to run for long. Her already tired body gave up quickly and she succumbed to sleep in a crack in the ground. Luckily for her she was protected from direct sunlight and strangely, there wasn’t a single bug close to her who could have crawled over her. She was very lucky; nothing with a pulse ever came close. If anything would have, they could have heard a lone girl softly crying the name of her most important person in her sleep.

❀

The autumn sky makes its brew
of the past lives who did their best.
It shall warm you for this lonely winter night.
Be free of greed and you may see the morning come.

 

It was night when she woke up again. She was covered in dirt from all the turning around she did in her sleep, but it didn’t bother her at all. She had a dream which somehow managed to calm her down. She made herself believe that the dream she saw wasn’t her own but that of Alice and this made her think that there was still hope to save Alice. Be it a simple delusion of hers, it still managed to push her forward in this strange world.

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