Chapter 22: Sacrifice – Chapter 20: Aura

GamingWolf

Aperio looked between the man she had just healed and the others in front of the carriage. The silence was only broken by the clattering of armour as the Beastkin finally gave in to his exhaustion and let himself fall. Should I try to heal him as well? She set aside the thought for now, as she did not even know if her first attempt had succeeded. Just because her patient seemed fine did not mean that he actually was.

Turning her attention back to the man she had, presumably, healed, she found him still staring at her. "Something wrong?" Aperio's voice was back to a whisper, not wanting to knock the man out again. Adding a feeling of power to her voice was easy, almost second nature; doing the opposite was not something she had figured out quite yet. The best she could manage was lowering her voice to what she thought was a barely audible level. So far they managed to understand her just fine, and only flinched slightly.

“Yes-No… I just…” His voice trailed off as he simply stared at Aperio again. She still could not place the expression he had. Her best guess would be fear, and possibly something akin to reverence? Or is he just not able to process that someone is stronger than him? It did not matter for now. She would give him some time to gather his thoughts. And my own.

Realising she was a Goddess was a lot more anticlimactic then she had assumed it would be. There was no grand display of power – at least from Aperio’s perspective – and no enlightenment.

Standing up, Aperio moved towards the group by the carriage. The Beastkin tried and failed to stand up to her approach while Ira and the robed Elf did not even lift a finger to try and stop her. Stepping past the three, she came to a stop behind the leather-clad adventurer.

She was intrigued as to what had happened to Thaddeus. Besides being deathly pale and unconscious, the young mage did not appear to be injured in anyway. Her approach had not stopped the Human, who was doing... Aperio had no idea what he was doing. The Human poked at a few places with needles, then having seemed to find at least a partial answer he reached out and gave Thaddeus some form of potion before returning to his needles and continuing to explore the unconscious man's skin with them.

“What are you doing?”

The man winced at her words; she had forgotten to speak in a whisper and it showed. While it might be a hindrance to living a normal life, Aperio actually found herself enjoying the feeling of power in her voice, and the almost ethereal quality of it. Now that it wasn’t hoarse from not having spoken for actual millennia any more, she actually liked to hear her own words. Though, the fact that she got to choose what she said might be another factor for her enjoyment.

“I am trying to ease his pain,” he replied in a gruff voice without turning away from his task. He did not give her any more attention as he engrossed himself in his work, seemingly unimpressed by her previous show of force. The question of how sticking needles in someone was supposed to help was quickly replaced with another thought as she stared at his back. Maybe he is a better test subject?

She shook her head in an effort to clear her mind of the itch to fight, but only managing to force it to a silent corner of her mind. There was a more immediate concern, a question she wanted answered. If this man could lessen Thaddeus’s pain, he might also know why he reacted the way he did to her presence; to her aura.

“Why is he even in pain? I know some people find it...” Her voice trailed off. She did not want to admit what she knew to be true, it felt disgusting to do. But she had no choice if she wanted answers. I had always thought a Goddess was supposed to just know things. With an inaudible sigh, she steeled herself and tried again. “Some find it... unpleasant to stand near me or hear me talk, but none of them show the reaction he does.”

Her statement caused the man to finally turn and face her. His face did not match the voice Aperio had heard. She had expected an old man like Ira. Experienced. Weathered. One that could lead the group of adventurers. Instead she saw a face whose age she could not place. It wasn't due to the presence of beauty or timelessness that she was unable to guess, but simply because Aperio was unable to determine someone's age without an obvious indicator. Like grey hair, or wrinkles, or youthful exuberance.

"I know you Elves don't deal with this stuff often, but show some restraint! The man did not choose his ability to feel every bit of mana in the air. He was trying his best to keep his composure and ignore the pain, while you continue to walk around shining with mana like the Gods-damned midday sun."

After the man had fallen silent Aperio could feel the eyes of everyone present on her, waiting for her response with bated breath. She could hear the Beastkin's sword move in its sheath, the wood of Ira's staff groaning slightly under his strained grip, and an almost inaudible rustle of a robe.

The thought that she should punish this foolish mortal for his words, rip him limb from limb and post his head on a pike so nobody else would dare to disrespect her, briefly flashed through her mind.Then, she gently discarded the notion. She actually kind of enjoyed his bluntness, even if a part of her wanted – demanded – his death.

Restraint was something she sorely needed, but had no idea how to do. She knew that her aura was a tangible thing, as she could see it if she concentrated. But it is my mana, isn't it? Shouldn't I be able to control it? The process of seeing her aura was surprisingly easy once she knew what she had to do.

The hazy-fog she had seen in the carriage hung in the air around her, stretching as far as she could see. Does it look… denser? It did appear to be heavier, a proper fog. Thick enough that it should reduce her vision to an arm's length, and yet, it didn't seem to be there at all. Because of the purer mana? Or will it just become denser the longer I live? She was sure she could touch it at this point, but Aperio did not want to try that now on the off-chance she could not. Appearing as anything but regal and in control still felt disgusting to her. Do all Gods feel this way?

While she would not try to physically move the fog, she would most certainly try to move it with her mind. So far the mana had done what she wished, even when it was no longer in her body or Well. With nothing more than a thought, the fires she had started extinguished themselves as easily as she had made them. So why wouldn't it work on her aura.

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Focusing on controlling – touching – the fog sent her mind spinning. Small insects scurrying through the underbrush, a worm burrowing itself deeper into the ground, the trees gently swaying in the wind – she felt everything around her. If the sheer amount of information flooding her mind wasn't so overwhelming she would have been in awe, but as it was she wanted it to stop. She didn't want to know that thousands of ants were currently running around their burrow or that a bird was building a nest in a tree to her left.

Before she was drowned in the sensation of knowing every tiny detail around her, Aperio let her control over the fog drop. As suddenly as it had appeared, the influx of information slowed to a trickle, the connection still present but subdued. It stays? She could still feel the presence of the world around her, in places she both could and could not see, but it was now muted. Like the view from a foggy window, it was lacking in detail, and ever-so-slightly distorted.

All of this just because I… I don't know? Accepted that I might be a Goddess? Aperio could not quite wrap her head around the concept. Why is this happening now? The only thing that had changed was that she no longer outright dismissed the notion of being something divine. But, it's not like many things make sense at the moment. Maybe the world is indeed broken.

It was an amusing yet frightening idea. But, when she considered what was happening to her and how the stone had only produced garbled mess it was not so easily dismissed. Maybe the world wasn’t meant to have another Goddess? Or I am not supposed to be here, but in the Void?

Directing her attention back to the people surrounding her revealed no change. Either they had not noticed, or her lapse had happened a lot more quickly than it had seemed. Not that time has felt very consistent lately.

This time prepared for the mental assault, Aperio tried to increase her control over her aura. At first she tried to sense the leather-clad man that had gone back to poking needles into Thaddeus. The information was there; not nearly as detailed as it was the first time, but no longer distorted. She knew where he was and what he did without looking at him, almost like she knew where the debris was that she had floated behind her. How it worked, she did not know, but neither did she care. She already had enough questions and simply taking it as something all the Gods could do was probably for the best. At least for now.

Trying to glean more from her aura, she felt a slight resistance as she directed more of her attention on the leather-clad man. A thin barrier, just like the one the Elf had used, was doing its best to block her. It seemed so fragile to her, a tiny poke and it would be gone. But she did not break it to sate her curiosity. This was supposed to be an exercise in restraint, after all.

If her will dictated how much of her mana drifted where, she could surely just retract it, put it back in her body.

Her attempt was met with failure.

The mana refused to enter, and simply clung to her like a second skin. She stopped her attempt fairly quickly, as there was simply too much to reasonably keep close to her. That would probably only make the problem worse. The concentration of her mana was already denser near her, increasing that range would probably mean that she would break wards from even further away.

Her next experiment also accomplished little. Trying to push the fog of mana away from her resulted in more mana simply taking its place. She did not even feel it leave her Well or body. It was either too little to notice, got replaced too fast or came from somewhere else.

There was one last thing she could think of to try. It wasn't really showing restraint but it should have the same effect. Creating a bubble of nothing in her aura was the most strenuous use of magic she had done so far. Guiding the mana away and stopping the rest from filling its place took more effort than she had thought it would, but once it had formed, it seemed to stay, obediently informing her where it was like any other magic she had used. Even moving it was easy when she compared it with the initial effort of creation. Or is it removal?

Whenever the bubble of nothing got within arm's reach of Aperio, it seemed to falter. The mana right next to her was, perhaps, too dense for it to cope with, and so it tended to nudge around the outer edges of the denseness, taking the path of least resistance. Why did it take me so long to sense this, and yet manipulating it is so easy? ...Almost like flight. Where her knowledge came from was rapidly moving up on her list of things to learn.

Letting her test bubble collapse, she formed a new one around Thaddeus and the adventurer. The man stopped his needle-poking and looked at her with what she would call a relived expression. Was he scared I would hurt him after what he said? There was still an urge to do just that, but she had already declared such feelings to be advisers at best.

The man merely gave her a nod of thanks before he continued tending to Thaddeus. He did not ask what she did, seemingly content that she did something. Maybe it's good that he didn't ask? I can't really explain what I did after all.

Moving a short distance away, she sat down. None of the others seemed ready to talk or do anything aside from looking exhausted. Even the man she had healed still only shifted his gaze between Aperio and something only he could see. For Aperio it was a good opportunity to better learn how to use her aura. And come up with a better name for it.

GamingWolf

It might not be what people thought would happen when they asked her to restrain herself, but it sure does work!

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