Chapter 13: Kyska’s Diary 3

 

When my princess Erys regained her consciousness she was in a complicated mood.
On one side, she was unexpectedly calm.
I wouldn't go as far and say she came to terms with her circumstance, but she began to submit herself to her fate.
However, she stubbornly clung to her old way of speech.
It was obvious how much she despises it to stay like it is.

Out of curiosity, I tried myself.
It would be an understatement to call it difficult.
Our throats are simply not intended for these patterns.
Still, she is taking all of this effort just not to sound like she does now.
Willpower isn't bad, but denial certainly is.
Like this, I had to quell her enthusiasm.

This isn't even the greatest issue.
She honestly intended to go back to the surface!
How does she envision this?
She can barely walk in her state, afflicted by her metamorphosis.
Even if she could, did she seriously intend to go alone?
Without an escort?!

I know by now that she has no access to her situation, but such a lack of self-awareness was off-putting.
I am so deeply worried that she might bring herself into danger.
It isn't like she had no reasons.
She spoke about a strange concept.
Apparently, her former species have only a marginal amount of offspring, yet distributed on each member.
And like this, social structures form around these closest ties.
Just three other members of a structure called "family".

I can understand that princess Erys wants to honor these bonds.
While I am obliged to the swarm and foremost my queen who gave life to me, these bonds could only deepen if we would be as few as she describes.
Like this, all of them must be of unique importance.

Still, she has to understand the importance of her role.
Her position is of greatest importance to the whole swarm.
All the lives that will originate from her.
Which are dependent on her to come into existence!
And she still behaves so recklessly!

I mean seriously, a conflict above?
And then she wants to venture out there?!
I know she cannot understand.
No one explained to her.
Just thrown into this situation without any prior preparation.
But she has to adjust.

Nonetheless, if it helps her to have the company of these three beings I will gladly raise the necessary effort to retrieve them.
She pointed out that there might be issues, as they most likely are right now in a settlement.
And there will be difficulties to gain access there.
I don't think that such soft beings could put much resistance against a considerate force so that five-thousand units should be enough.
Yet she might be right that this could be detrimental to the wellbeing of the targets.
In addition, it seems my princess does not wish for harm on any members of her former kind.

Also, I came to know how this delicate species could establish itself the way it did.
They use foreign objects to strengthen their bodies.
A fascinating concept to adjust, yet ultimately useless for our kind as we are adjusted by default to fulfill our roles.

Like this, princess Erys' request for so-called "clothing", a layer of outer material to protect oneself from environmental influences, was extremely uncommon.
She has no use for them as the temperature inside the hive is constant and she has now her carapace for protection.
I would have peeled off this strange dirty layer she currently carries around her before, but I didn't want to disturb her sleep and decided against bringing anything sharp close to her still soft surface.
Yet it seems she wants them rather out of habit.
Since there is no problem to grant her this I commissioned such a layer for her to support her mental state.

Ensuring her stability is my greatest concern at the moment.
Because of this, I believe that obtaining this "family" of hers has for now the highest priority.
She even said she would willingly fulfill her role if this request is granted.

Not like she will have a choice but to do so when her body will eventually begin to produce the eggs, but having her consent would be beneficial for her health, and like this improve her production.
If it just wouldn't have sounded like she would resign herself to a cruel fate.

The interval ended with a huge spurt of her metamorphosis.
I naturally brought her directly back into her alcove, but I can basically see how her features of a princess are beginning to show themselves outside solidifying by the second.
I can see how tiny wings pierce through the soft surface and even her ovipositor starts to take form.

Under different circumstances, this would be a great fortune, but as shaken as my princess is now being confronted with this at her awakening might be too much of a burden.
And I am not confident to sustain her mind all by myself.
I am simply not fit to comfort her.
So I believe that I'll need help.
And I know just the right one for this task.

 

             

 

I've assigned my fellow nurse Suki.
With only six cycles of experience, she is much less proficient than I would wish for.
Also, she is abnormal in a way that she shows an unusual amount of emotions.

This doesn't mean she isn't diligent in her tasks.
In fact, these emotions are deep care and extreme enthusiasm while tending to the brood.
She always shows utmost efforts in her tasks and her results are absolutely satisfying.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have considered her.

Like this, I am not sure if the nursery would have been the right place for her as she's simply too deeply invested towards each subject she tends to, impeding her general performance.
But with a princess, this should be an advantage instead.
While Suki greatly digresses from the common way a nurse works, it might be of use here.
In fact, her positive influence could just be what princess Erys needs to help her adjust.
This behavior might be closer to those humans than I am.
At least, it can't be wrong to relay to her how great her role is by someone and that she should rather embrace it instead of fearing the change.
And Suki should fit better for this task than me.
Positivity!

 

So I came to fetch her in the nursery.
She couldn't even comprehend what I was telling her.
It's absolutely unheard of that a nurse becomes the personal attendant of a princess before she completed her fifteenth cycle.
But it is already uncommon that a nurse takes control as I do.
And if not me, who will then act for her sake?
Didn't they tell me to respectively tend to her special needs?
Because of this, I need Suki to support the princess's troubled mind.

Like this, I had to assign her as a personal nurse for princess Erys.
I would have wished to be faster, not appreciating to leave my princess for such a span of time, fearing she would wake up while I'm away.
But I had to wait until Suki stopped trembling.
Her enthusiasm went extensively overboard.
The simple idea that she was even considered by me for this position.
Yet wasn't it me who took charge of a great part of her training?
I am confident she will at least be a positive asset.
And I need every advantage I can gather.

On the way back I tried to convey to Suki all the specifics regarding her position as detailed as possible.
But just when she finally saw her she became aware.
It was a little weird to see something like the repetition of my first contact with my princess.
I don't think the looks were a problem for her.
The primary feature was curiosity,
Despite the ongoing massive changes princess Erys' rest was comparatively calm.
And personally, I find her resting expression quite appealing.

Like this, I think Suki wasn't prejudiced, which wouldn't match her character in the first place.
Instead, I believe she instantly bonded.
I even had to keep her from touching my princess as mesmerized as she was.
While explaining the bodily issues on the subject we mostly stayed observant in the room.

That is until my princess woke up again.

 

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She started production!!!

My princess laid her first batch!
twenty-six eggs in absolutely perfect condition and a completely proper amount for the first time!
This is so magnificent!

 

But I should start at the beginning.
When my princess woke up again we became quickly aware that her outer features completely built out.
Especially she grew a beautiful set of wings.
But much more important her ovipositor finally completely shaped.
According to my experiences from fetching the eggs from princess Honiu, it looks exactly like it should.

With this, all doubts are gone.
She truly became a princess!
Yet it would have been better if Suki acted a little bit more considerate.
And this after all my initial introductions about her assignment.
Her enthusiasm went too far.

As anticipated princess Erys was extremely put off by these newest changes she experienced.
A short panic attack caused her ovipositor to act rampant, stinging wildly around.
Naturally not at herself, as it's a reflex against outer threats.
But she could manage to calm down again in due time.

It seems to help her when we show physical attention so that we should use this condition for her sake in the future.
I don't know why, but she seems to mix up our care with positive feelings.
Not that I wouldn't feel obliged to her, but to believe feelings could influence the attended one is a novel concept.
It might have to do with her soft shell.
This one is surely more prone to react to contact than our hard carapace.

But even if it only comes from me, it shows an effect.
If it is for her sake then I will convey as much love as I can like this.
To calm her mind I did want to distract her.
Since it was overdue that she becomes used to her new environment I tried to persuade her to go on a stroll.
Within the limits of course.

Yet without new "clothing", she didn't want to leave her quarters.
So I was going to prepare something according to her wishes.
Unfortunately, Suki during that time explained to her how her own role would play out.
Much to the harm of princess Erys' mental stability.
I believe a more cautious approach would've been recommended.

It took a while, but ultimately we were able to calm her down again.
We spent some time entertaining our princess which helped her to relax.
But eventually, we came back to serious topics.
It seemed like the mere thought of how great her influence would be was overwhelming for her.

 

And then it happened.
Presumably, due to the repeated process of tensing up and relaxation, her body was stimulated.
In accordance, she started to cramp slightly, showing impressions of pain.
Which suddenly released.
And she laid an egg!

And after this the others.

 

I can barely describe my state at that time.
Seeing this one round thing, which was the center of my whole existence I fell into a daze.
Fortunately, my trained routines took over and I could manage to take control over the situation.

But despite being this overwhelmed I had a greater issue to attend.
My princess!

Her mental condition was predictable.
I might have never seen her this appalled.
So I made her concentrate on me, trying to distract her.
It worked to a degree, but her mental state was for a long time worrisome.
This conflicted me deeply, as on one side I was so proud of this occurrence and on the other so concerned on behalf of the one who is the most important existence to me.

It took a while until she regained enough sense to speak.
But her first words put me off.
She asked if we'd like her.
One could say this was a stupid question, as because of our innate settings we are made so.

But this wasn't it.
She asked for personal affection.
And honestly, I don't know.
I am sure Suki feels like this the way she looks at our princess.

 

But for me?
I never felt much more than the pleasant feeling of fulfillment to do what I'm intended to do.
But when I saw my princess like this...
For a moment it came to me while I held her that if I could stop the laying which made her feel so miserable, I would do so.
This wasn't possible, but regardless of everything else...

I want my princess to be safe, healthy...

and happy!

 

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