Forsake Your Humanity

Chapter 21: What They Don’t Know, Part 3


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I arrived at my destination after taking servals shortcuts between the streets.

Despite the considerable distance, I chose to walk. Since the store was just on the outskirts of the 2nd District, not too far from where I resided in the 3rd District, it seemed like the only reasonable choice. It was either that or engage in a deadly battle with others for an available cab...

The neighborhood was as tranquil as usual, or so I thought as I passed by several modest houses that couldn't compete with most of the skyscrapers I had seen earlier.

As I got near, I scowl formed on my face. Most people associate the word 'home' with comfort, but whenever I thought about it, I envisioned something resembling a jail. It was quite little, and most of the color had faded from the walls over time. Instead of going inside, I tapped my knuckles against the cardboard covering the window's frame. As it continued to pour, it darkened, absorbing more and more water. I'll have to do something about it, eventually.

There were various 'quick fixes' surrounding the house's exterior. Of course, it wasn't like that before, but now, I couldn't say anything good about my humble abode even if you were to ask.

Connor often insisted on visiting me, but I always declined. I didn't other people to witness... well... this embarrassment.

Sleeping was also difficult. I just couldn't feel comfortable in the place I've considered home for so long anymore.

A tuck resonated as I twisted the key and pushed the door open. Only after verifying it was completely shut, I removed my shoes and entered the living room through a tiny corridor.

I looked at the sofa, which suddenly became very appealing, but I still had the decency to take a shower first.

Not switching on the lights, I grabbed the remote and allowed the dull glow coming from the television to illuminate the entire place. It was just enough to let me see what I was doing with the bath's door cracked open. I couldn't even see my reflection, not that I wanted to. I detested seeing it.

I jumped in without even waiting for the water to heat up, content to feel the chill pour over my feverish body.

They happened to say something about Artemis on the news. Some speech I couldn't understand because of the running water. I didn't pay too much attention to it. I lacked the energy to do so.

After drying myself with a towel, I plopped onto the sofa.

With impeccable timing, my phone shook. I gripped it like a sloth, frustrated by the disturbance. It was a notification informing me that my bills for the month had been paid. I hoped I'd receive the same notification the following month, too.

Curiosity got the best of me, and I checked the figures in my account. Big mistake.

Amongst the transactions on my account, there was also the fee for participating in the exam for Artemis. A prominent establishment created to nurture hunters. There were also people in there who couldn't use mana, but they were still shockingly talented in other ways.

It was expensive, taking all of the money I earned during my period as a porter while scavenging the 4th District, the location the Overflow took place.

Paying it off was only possible with Logan's help. They needed a porter since the previous one had other matters to attend to. Ava just happened to mention that fact while we were at the store and I didn't waste any time seizing the opportunity. Things somehow worked out from that point onward.

We sold the jewelry we were able to find and made a tidy profit, which allowed me to pay for my attendance fee while still focusing on my studies. That visit was the only reason I had a shot at Artemis in the first place.

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It would be impossible to study there while also working various jobs. Artemis was simply that competitive of an environment.

I gave it my all. The countless hours I've spent preparing for the exams. All the money I had gathered at the cost of my health. Everything. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say I had nothing else to offer.

Harold mentioned that I wouldn't be able to go into Artemis with a scholarship, which I was well aware of...

I closed the phone and sunk deeper into the sofa. I stared at the ceiling, unable to think of anything. Even the words pouring out of the television weren't something I could comprehend.

I threw my elbow across my face as I uttered, "My head's throbbing..."

My entire life seemed to have been drained from me.

There were stories about some monsters that could suck the mana out of hunters. Some monsters could drain your blood, too. I wondered if any of those experiences were comparable to what I felt.

Maybe ghouls were like this. Having a rotten brain within your skull was quite pleasant.

Wished I'd realized I wanted to be a creature with flesh barely hanging onto its bones a bit sooner.

Yeah... when you put it that way, things felt a lot simpler...

"What the hell am I even thinking about?" I roared, taking a firm grip on reality with my last remaining strand of consciousness.

Given my circumstances, feeling burned out was not that surprising. I took the examinations that would directly affect my future, played with those siblings for a bit, and was fired from my job without any compensation. Then there was Ava, who tried to cheer me up at the grocery store, which made things a little better, but still wasn't enough to solve the fundamental problem I was going through.

With all of that being said, no one could deny I had a day filled with inconveniences.

But it was my current behavior that was unusual. I felt awful for lying around and doing nothing. Giving up wasn't an option for a rat like me. I'll perish if I don't keep struggling, looking for an answer. As a result, I pushed my tiredness aside and stood up.

I couldn't wallow in self-pity when there are so many issues to deal with.

I had to rack my brain and come up with a solution to my current predicament. A method to crawl out of the pit I found myself in. Otherwise, I knew I'd be done for.

Struggling until the end was the only choice I had left.

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