Chapter 14: Ch14 Another Anxiety Attack

Firth was standing at the door looking very gloomy as if he was a general that lost the war. Well, he hadn’t lost that war. I was sure he was worried about the food supply, but he was in for a surprise later. There was simply no way I would let people starve. The thought of them having to scavenge was dismal, but it was horrifying if you took the calamity beasts into account.

This refuge also needed some proper facilities, from what I saw with the bathroom situation. I needed to get them to approve my plans to update the refuge. Most of all, they needed a library! I mean, how else was I going to read more books? There had to be more I could do, but first I really needed to find out more about their situation and do research on which magics would be best suited. Though I was pretty sure, I already had the knowledge on hand that I needed.

“Lady A, I am here to get you for our meeting. Please forgive everyone’s mood. This was a tremendous loss. I just don’t know what we are going to do,” he said, the obvious look of a defeated man displayed across his face.

“Thank you. Do not worry; many things have happened today,” I replied, holding in a grin, trying not to reveal the surprise too early. A punctual surprise was as good as a witty joke that makes a room full of angry ambassadors that were seeking war laugh away their anger and make calls for peace instead. 

“Follow me,” Firth said, leading my guard and me down the tunnel paths. I took mental notes of ideas on how to improve the pathways. I wanted to smooth them out at least, but I wondered if they would rather have them squared off with columns. Columns would be good even if they wanted to keep the current shape. I considered putting in stone bricks, but it would make it feel like sewers. That made me want to push for a square shape, so it felt like a castle's tunnels.

There was a range of animal-type people. From long ears to short, from brown to green to orange. Short matted hair tails to long ones. There were even huge fluffy tails that were begging to be played with. I wanted to engage with them, but they would look away from me anytime we made eye contact and would try to cover their animal parts. They must have been ashamed or worried about what I would think about their animal curse. I didn’t see it as a curse; it was cute, but I guessed society at large disliked “different” and had cast them aside. That was another thing that needed fixing because they were just too cute for that. Even if they weren’t, it was wrong to separate them for how they were born.

It dawned on me that if there were several generations here, then the literacy rate may be below library standard. If they couldn’t read, then how would they enjoy a book, let alone a library? “Firth, do the people know how to read?” I asked as we walked.

“They read well, Lady A. It is a required skill to be a follower of Astrid. The church brings us reading lessons so that we may stay true to the goddess,” he replied, looking at me with an odd smile.

I felt like the jig was up. Even if it was, I would not be the one to call it out. “That is good to hear,” I said, continuing to smile at everyone we passed by.

Firth led us to a large open room with several large dirt stairs going up to the ceiling. They were filled like audience stands watching a joust but instead looking at a group of ten women and men. The group was very gestural, arguing with one another. They seemed to have a certain air about them, cluing me into the idea that they were the local representatives.

My anxiety was sure in for a whirl with this crowd of people and an audience to boot. I tried to veer off into the stands so that I could hide amongst the crowd, but as soon as they noticed me, they all began clapping me and sending out their praise for healing the children and residents. I wasn’t getting anxious yet but my red hot face was surely blushing. It seemed I was going to have to be a part of this cluster mess if I wanted to get my plans passed.

I clenched my fist at my sides to try to gain some courage. That may have been the wrong move because the group in front of me tensed up in response to my action. I wasn’t trying to come off angry, but I probably looked like a spoiled noble brat red in the face with anger.

“Hello fellow councilmen, this is Lady A, the one I was telling you about. She doesn’t wish to share her name. Her guard’s name is Highthorn. She wants to join us in our deliberations,” Firth said, looking at each of the leaders. Turning to me, he spoke, “This is the council of the refuge. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.”

“Does the refuge have a name?” I asked. It seemed odd that they referred to it as the refuge when they had been here for generations.

“Astraville. We named it the honor of the goddess because her spreading of knowledge allows it to exist. Also, the church backs us since we named it in her honor,” he replied, looking directly into my eyes again.

I am totally busted. He knows it’s me, or at least that I am a look alike. “Thank you, carry on,” I mustered out in reply.

Turning back to the other leaders, Firth spoke, “Please state the situation as best as you can. Lady A here wishes to join the discussion, so she needs to be brought up to speed.”

“We lost ninety percent of our crops and stored food. There is still a little left that wasn’t burned, but thanks to the miracle of the water some wasn't lost. The aquifer on top of the refuge is completely undamaged, but that provides little food. There is also what people had already taken for their daily necessities,” one leader said factually, trying to cope with the situation. His emotions were as clear as day they had lost.

“I propose that we immediately seize all food in the refuge and ration it out even thinner, while we make other plans,” a woman said, causing a stir in the stands.

“Let’s not be hasty. The people are scared. We can request food from the city. We can just push up our trade date; they should be willing, though it would put us in a bad bargaining position. We can also do a large hunt,” Firth said, trying to calm the situation down.

“They will take far too much advantage of us. The people will be more scared of the hunt. Even if we have seen fewer beasts, they are still a major threat. That is why we should take the rations back now and only distribute them to those that are willing to go out on the hunt!” the women retorted back. 

“That is a good idea; let's put it to a vote,” another man said, leaving Firth looking frustrated. The man turned to the crowd and spoke, “Who is in favor of immediately retrieving people's daily rations and going on a supply hunt once we are ready?” 

There were mass whispers among the crowd. No one spoke up but I could tell they weren’t happy about that option. A few raised their hands, but no one else did. The woman that had proposed the action was dejected.

I wanted to speak up, but I could feel a lurch in my throat. I was feeling anxious at the thought of speaking to the crowd. The room was tense, but I had the solution. I just didn’t want to speak up. My anxiety was building up just being there.

“We must act fast before the rations are overused. We don’t want to have to sell our citizens to the corporations again!” the woman said, trying to recover.

More hands were raised instantly, with a look of fear on their faces. Then more people raised their hands in agreement, bringing it to a majority.

The woman smiled and said, “Any objections?”

“This isn’t right. We are going to scare the people. This is heavy-handed, like the corporations,” Firth stated, looking like he was losing the argument. 

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“You would know, wouldn’t you? What would you propose we do? Sell more citizens to your old employer?” she retorted with a venomous smile.

So that meant that Firth had worked for the corporations. I really needed to talk to him. Maybe I could get some insider knowledge of how things worked there. I knew I had to speak up, but I just couldn’t. I needed to use my voice, but it was trapped inside of me.

More hands raised into the air and it seemed like everyone else was just raising their hands now just to fit in. 

“It seems like we have a plan. Let’s get to it. I will get the guards together and proceed with the collection.” 

I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking back, I saw Highthorn nodding to me. I took a deep breath trying to gather my words and spoke, “I object.”

“What, did you bring some small supplies in your car? That is not enough,” the women retorted.

“No, I made a solution. Please come with me and look,” I replied, turning to the people with a pleading look, feeling my emotion starting to go wonky. There were instant whispers in the crowd and people started putting their hands down.

“Listen, city lady! You are not a leader here!” the woman shouted, trying to regain control.

“Do not speak to her like that! She came in a royal car,” Firth said, chiding her.

She went pale as she looked closer at me, realizing that wasn’t normal. Her eyes scanned me up and down, and then they bulged as something obviously clicked in her head. Her mouth went agape as she quickly went to the ear of one of the other leaders, whose eyes also went wide. I had a feeling that they were recognizing me. Well, at least they will listen to me more now.

“You—Just because you look like Goddess Astrid doesn’t give you the right to speak here. I don’t care if you're an important brat from the city. You are still not voting here.”

“Don’t speak to the—” Firth tried to speak but was cut off.

“Quiet, heretic. I have had enough. You godless corpos are all the same. You only pray to the goddess for looks and benefits. You haven’t had her in your hearts like the rest of us have.”

There were angry mutters in the room. Firth was taking a few steps back as the other leaders looked at him with disdain.

“Listen, I think—”I tried to speak but was cut off. My blood was rushing. I was trying to calm down but couldn’t. I started breathing heavily.

“You shut your mouth. Imposter, faker, liar, charlatan. Just because you look like her means nothing. We don’t need the city or its tricks. Just because you healed us doesn’t mean we owe you anything. You probably caused the fire!” she shouted as a grin grew on her face. She was swaying the room and making everyone hate me. All I had done was help.

“I didn—”

“You—You—DID IT,” she retorted, cutting me off and twisting my words to turn everyone against me. My breathing rushed faster as i began to lose focus.

"No, I—"

“SEE SHE DID IT! YOU HEARD IT HERE!” she shouted like a crazed king ordering his soldiers to march to their death.

The crowd turned to me with hate in their eyes, and my anxiety snapped. Mana seeped out of me as my control lessened. The ground shook as I tried to wrangle control. I was trying desperately not to topple the refuge. I threw up a flame barrier around my guard and me. The flames went from red to yellow to white to blue. This was a strike-back defensive spell I learned from “Ace’s Flame Mastery”.

The people were terrified and had nowhere to escape because I was near the only exit. The heat radiating from my wall caused water to pour out of their skin. They ran to the opposite end of the room, trying to escape me and the heat. The roar of my flames stopped their shouts for help. I was able to control how far the head wave went out so that no one would burn alive since they lacked any sort of mana shielding.

I pushed power into my voice, causing it to boom in the room. “I did not cause any fire! This is the color of my flames, not some weak yellow flame! They burn anything in their way! I put out the fire and healed your people and you accuse me of a crime? I am Lady Astrid, Head Administrator of the Biblio Eternium! If I wanted you dealt with, I would burn you to ashes like the monsters in the dungeons!”

As I exuded my power, I slowly regained my control. My breath normalized, and I felt my anxiety go away. The people seemed less threatening now that I had shown my strength. They no longer looked at me with ill intentions. They looked like a bunch of helpless animals.

I waved my hand in the air, and the flames were extinguished. I waved my hand again and a doorway to my library opened out of thin air.

They got on their knees and prostrated themselves. “Please—Goddess Astrid—please forgive us for our insolence,” Firth said with a warily, fear-stricken look on his face.

“Call me Lady Astrid!”

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