Chapter 13: Chapter 12.5: Lena POV

Hi guys, I wrote this a while ago and thought I should release it. please be aware it is prior to the time when Allen got moved away from his family home. I have changed the chapter number for this as I want this to be read later to give emphasis on the story.

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I am Lena Lionheart, I was born Lena Astor to a baron family.

When I was 2 my mother died from an illness and then when I was 5 my father died on a battlefield protecting a nearby Dukes territory. My older brother took over as the head of the house.  

As a consolation to our family the Duke agreed to marry the oldest daughter of the family. I was the oldest daughter.

As my marriage was already decided and my parents were dead. I was to grow up alone but as I awakened my mana, I was told my affinity to fire was unique and I had a potential to be someone great. 

Upon hearing this my brother, rather than being happy, was angry and told me my only job was to be a good wife to the Duke for the betterment of the family.

I went to live a solitude life as my family tried to ignore my existence. I was given lessons on how to please a man and lessons on how to be a good wife. As my life continued with nobody to talk to and nothing much to do, a knight arrived.

She was summoned by my older brother to teach the younger brother swordsmanship. While she walked our grounds she found me and dragged me for training. 

My older brother was mad after finding out that I was being trained. He tried to stop it but the knight said she wouldn’t train the younger brother unless she can also train me. 

Brother lost that battle to my surprise. As I trained under the knight she soon found an apprentice from a nearby town who she also trained and someone who could spar with me.

The apprentice became my first friend and as days turned into weeks which turned into months we became lovers. For the first time in my life I felt happy but I knew it couldn’t last as I was promised to the Duke.

As our training came to an end, the apprentice asked me to run away along with them but I refused . 

I thought my mother would not be happy about me abandoning our family so I said goodbye to the apprentice only to find myself regretting it as my lonely life began again. 

Soon the time came for the wedding. I thought I would be able to find some happiness there but I found out a bit later that I was the fourth wife. Which shattered a lot of expectations? Hence I told myself not to have any.

After the wedding I moved to an Annex building, where the Duke visited to consummate the wedding. I was excited as it would be the first time with a man but the Duke lasted only a few minutes and left the room. I thought about all the lessons I was given and promised myself that I would use the teachings I learned to please him but alas that never came for I became pregnant only after one time.

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As per Duke’s agreement with each wife. He will only have one child with each and after that the wife can live with the child or go back to her own family. I didn’t want to go back to my family so I thought after giving birth I would go on an adventure and maybe even go to the apprentice.

All the plans were destroyed the moment my baby was born, when I saw him I knew I would live with him for the rest of my life then the problems started.

Everytime I breastfed him I felt erotic. I found myself touching myself in the middle of the night while he sucked my tits, I felt aroused and shouted out his name as I came. I thought this is not a mother should do.

I tried to stop touching myself but he would ask me to breast feed almost all the time. In the middle of the night he would cry to be fed and I would feel aroused and force myself to sleep.

My patience ran out one night and I started touching myself. I fingered myself and kept glancing at him, hoping he would wake up. I soon started moaning and saw that he was awake. I stopped to see what he would do.

He started to suck on my nipples as if there was nothing out of ordinary. I felt more aroused as he sucked on my tits so I went back to touching myself. I shouted his name as I came and he fell asleep on top of me. I felt happy.

After that I tried to pleasure myself in private but never felt this happy. I wanted Allen to see me pleasuring up. 

I soon couldn't even think of normal masturbation. I wanted Allen there or it wasn't satisfying. 

One day I took him for his bath and found myself trying to show him all parts of me as I cleaned myself. I felt excited as his face stared at my body. I want him to see me all the time. 

I took him into the bath and tried to get him to suck on my breast as they were already sensitive because of so much breastfeeding. As he latched on he started biting my nipples and playing around with his tiny tongue. I thought I was ruining him. I felt even more aroused at such a thought as my hand started playing with my clit. 

I called his name as I came and as I saw his smiling innocent face covered in my milk. I knew I wanted to mess up this child's innocence.

As nights went by I got used to looking at him as I came. 

One day I came out of the shower to find him getting hugged by his sister and I almost exploded. I calmed myself down. But now I knew I didn't just want him to mess him uo. I couldn't have any other woman to be near him, it had to be me. 

I guess I am a failure as a mother but as long as he is with me I don't care.

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