Chapter 3: 3 – Boaring Conversation Anyway

The animal that appeared from the bush resembled a boar crossed with a walrus. Tusks the length of Tess’s arm rustled across the ground, connected to a blubbery, furred, four-legged creature with an angry glint in its eye. Tess stayed still, hoping that the animal would overlook her.

Another box appeared.

Hey, this would be the perfect time to roll for some skills! Maybe you’ll get something to help against this boarlus.

 

Tess ignored the box in favor of keeping her attention on the animal. There was no telling what this thing could do to her.

The boarlus, or whatever it was, rustled through the grass in search of something. Tess noticed that the tusks were almost spade-shaped, which seemed to help with digging up the dirt. Unfortunately for her, the boar was moving toward her location.

The woman quickly searched the area and spotted a nearby tree that looked climbable. That would be her best bet if things went sideways.

Backup plan ready, Tess crouched, keeping as quiet as a mouse and hoping the animal went on its merry way. As long as she didn’t appear threatening, Tess could avoid a confrontation with this strange new animal.

No such luck. Upon seeing Tess, the animal gave a squeal that sounded like a mix of pig and car engine, then rushed straight ahead. Tess cursed and dashed out of the way, making a beeline for the tree. She stored her knife and spray as she ran, taking a few seconds to reach the tree without breaking a sweat. Tess gripped the low branches and scrambled up the tree trunk like a monkey. She swung herself onto a high branch and looked down at her attacker.

The boarlus, seeing it had missed, halted its charge and turned toward Tess. It dug a hoof into the ground and squealed a challenge at the tree, as if daring it to stand in the way of its charge.

Tess saw this and searched for another tree to jump to. It was likely that this one could hold up to the boarlus charge, but the woman was quickly coming around to the fact that this was a new world. There was no guarantee that a tree had the same kind of root structure.

The animal snorted, a blast of dirt shooting out of the animal as it thundered at the tree. Tess braced herself. She didn’t want to try and time the jump before the boar struck. If she missed, she’d be stuck next to it on the ground. Better to hope the tree held for an attack, then jump.

The boarlus connected with the tree in moments, all its stubbornness concentrated on knocking the tree over. Trees, however, are equally as stubborn, and the plant refused to budge. The boarlus squealed in anger, looking up at Tess.

Tess sighed, letting the tension out of her muscles. The tree hadn’t moved, meaning she could wait until the boarlus grew tired and left.

Wow! What a feat of athleticism! If I didn’t know better I’d say you were a professional climber!

 

Tess ignored the box again, keeping her focus on the animal below.

Oh, come on! Don’t be like that. If anything, you should be thanking me for saving your life.

 

“Do you want a medal or something?” Tess muttured.

Ooh! Could you?

 

Tess sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. Of course the thing inside the box could hear her.

The tree shuddered. Tess looked down to see the boarlus stabbing its tusks into the tree trunk. She furrowed her brow in confusion. Another shudder bounced up the tree as the boarlus’s arched neck pulled. The mass of fat and muscle collided with the tree and lifted itself up the trunk with its tusks.

Tess’s jaw dropped at the scene. “What the heck.”

The boarlus’s fat wrapped around the tree, anchoring it in place long enough for the animal to arch its neck and stab upward. The animal started to shimmy up the trunk like some kind of perverted inchworm.

Oh, wow. I didn’t think it could do that.

 

“Be quiet for one second!” Tess hissed. “I need to think.”

Okay, shutting up! Can’t have you dying before I get to watch the good stuff. But before I go, please roll for skills! There might be something useful! Trust me I don’t want you to fail either!

 

The box vanished after Tess skimmed it. The woman curled her lip, upset. The box was right, better to use it and maybe have an option than to not out of some sense of stubborn pride. But first, escape.

Tess balanced herself on the tree branch, staying low to maintain balance. Luckily her short stature helped with that. She took a couple of steps for momentum and leaped with her hands outstretched.

She landed right on her chest, knocking most of the wind out of her. Her muscles strained as her legs swung around, attempting to find purchase. She found it a moment later on the tree trunk and pulled herself up.

Tess coughed as she held onto the tree branch, hacking up a bit of phlegm. She spit it out as she thought the word skills. The box appeared and she quickly selected the Roll button.

A wheel appeared, spinning around so fast Tess had to look away for fear of becoming dizzy. A ding sounded in her head when the roll finished, revealing her first three skills.

 

Star Level							1
Puzzle Master
Cost:	0	Health	0	Mana	0	Qi	0	Other
Cooldown:		Passive
Effect
Increase Memory by 1
									Secondary Effect
Every 10 unequipped Puzzle Masters increases Memory an additional 1
									Tertiary Effect

 

Star Level							1
Qi reserves
Cost:	0	Health You are reading story Generally Awesome Character Hates Accidentals (G.A.C.H.A.) at novel35.com	0	Mana	0	Qi	0	Other
Cooldown:		Passive
Effect
Increase total Qi by 10
									Secondary Effect
Stacking these grants 1 extra Qi per 10
									Tertiary Effect
0

 

Star Level							2
Druidry
Cost:	0	Health	5	Mana	0	Qi	0	Other
Cooldown:		1
Effect
The better Green Thumb! Growing plants has never been easier.  Use your memory to increase the growth rate of plants!
									Secondary Effect
Feeding 10 passive skills to this skill grants you the ability to speak with animals once a day for 5 minutes
									Tertiary Effect
Feeding 100 passive skills to this skill lets you transform into an animal of your choice based on your memory.

 

Tess skimmed the abilities. Puzzle Master and Qi Reserves were useless to her at the moment, but Druidry could maybe do something. Sure, she had no clue how fast the plant might grow, and she wasn’t sure if she could test that right now, but there was a chance it grew enough for her to keep tree hopping.

Though, as Tess looked around. This forest had enough overlapping trees to escape without too much trouble.

She looked over to the boarlus. The strange, fat animal had already climbed halfway up the tree, enough to reach the lowest hanging branches and haul itself up. It looked at Tess with murder in its eyes, and the woman realized she might have to try and take the animal down. She didn’t want to use more of her bear spray, but chances were high she would have to.

The boarlus, eyes flashing with malice, squealed a challenge and bounded down the branch with a nimbleness Tess could barely believe. The tree branch swayed low as it charged, then suddenly the boarlus tensed. Tess watched in amazement as the animal’s fat melted away, leaving behind solid muscle and a lot less weight.

The branch snapped back up, sending the creature flying straight at Tess. She acted more on instinct, jumping to a nearby branch on another tree. Again it connected with her just below the chest, and again she coughed. But she was safe for the moment.

The boarlus was much closer though.

“That’s fine,” Tess said to herself. “You’ve got a plan.”

It was a terrible plan, but it was all Tess had.

The woman crouched low and leaped upward, grabbing a higher branch and scrambling up. The boarlus squealed in piggish fury and followed by climbing up with its tusks. The fat magically reappeared as the animal climbed, and a part of Tess wondered if the animal could control its mass in some way.

Tess continued her journey up the tree until she felt she could climb no more. She kept one eye on the boarlus as she removed her bear spray, and another on a nearby branch.

She waited, muscles tensed and her finger on top of the spray.

The boarlus arrived seconds later and once again rushed across the tree, close enough to step over to Tess’s branch instead of jump.

It was what Tess wanted. As the boarlus arrived, she unleashed hell with her bear spray while leaping to the nearby branch. A cloud of capsaicin-filled smoke obscured the boarlus’s vision as Tess fled to the nearby branch. The animal squealed in pain as it entered the cloud, losing its footing on the trees and tumbling a moment later.

Tess, in her haste to flee, dropped the spray canister. It fell to the ground, landing on the soft earth.

“Phew,” Tess sighed. There was likely a bit of the spray left. Plus, Tess could use the canister for something later if she was stuck in the woods for a while.

The woman waited for the spray to clear, then looked down. The animal below wasn’t dead, but it had broken its front hooves in the fall. It whimpered in pain on the ground.

Tess winced as she caught the odd angles of the animal’s legs.

That! Was! Amazing! You were all like, ‘can’t catch me!’ and it was all like, ‘I can so!’ and then you baited it to fall to the ground! You are incredible!

 

“It’s not over,” Tess said.

She made her way down, landing steadily on the ground in front of the whimpering animal. The creature looked up with pained eyes.

“Don’t worry,” Tess said. “It won’t hurt for much longer.”

The woman pulled her knife out and slid it into the boarlus, silencing it as painlessly as she could. She clapped her hands together in a silent prayer for the animal.

Boarlus defeated! You’ve earned (duh-duh-duh duh duh-duh duh!) 50 XP! Great job!

 

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