Chapter 14: Dark Memories

It's been 16 days since we've settled in the mansion.

"Ugh…..I can't sleep."

I got up from my bed and walked out of my room.

I was intending to look for a snack to eat, but I saw Perci walking out of his room with a serious expression on his face.

"Oh, Ori….you can't sleep?" Perci said with a faint smile.

"Yeah. I guess I can say the same for you."

He's looking gloomier than usual…..

"Is there something wrong?" I asked him.

"No, not really. Nothing you need to worry about." Perci shook his head.

"Tsk, I can see it in your face, something's wrong."

"I guess I'm caught. I thought I've hidden it pretty well," Perci chuckled weakly.

"Just talk to me if you want. Girls are pretty good with this sort of thing."

Perci thought for a moment. Then he opened the door to his room.

"Would you like to enter my room?"

"No. I am not sleeping with you."

"Sorry, that's not what I mean. I thought I would be able to talk with you. It's just that I have a window that leads to the roof."

"Oh……"

We climbed out of the window of Perci's room and sat on the rooftop. 

"The stars look pretty tonight…." Perci pointed out.

"It sure does……"

"I would like to ask you a question. Do you trust me?"

I took some time to answer.

"Just a little."

"I see. Well, I believe I can trust you. We've spent a lot of time together, so I guess it should be fine if I tell you."

"I'm all ears."

"I…….."

Perci hesitated to speak.

"Just take your time."

"Sorry, I'm just not used to speaking out my emotions. It's not very gentleman-like of me."

"Ah, whatever. Gentleman or not, you're still a human being. What's wrong with displaying emotions once in a while?"

"I've trained myself specifically not to show my emotions as much as possible. It's something hard-wired into my brain."

"Screw that. If you keep it bottled inside, you're bound to overflow and go on a mental breakdown."

Perci nodded his head and smiled. Then he changed his expression into a frown. 

I've never seen him make that face before.

"I can't get over it. What happened with Wolfis still haunts me to this day. I….killed him."

"I may not understand what you're feeling, but I believe it wasn't your fault. It was an accident. Wolfis is to blame for his demise."

"But, it doesn't change the fact that I caused it."

I sighed and looked Perci in the eyes.

"Jeez, I can't change your mind. So I’ll have to give up on convincing you otherwise. You'll always believe that you killed him. But I can always remind you. That your intention was to protect me. If it weren't for you, that bastard would have killed me."

"Is that all we can do?"

"No. I'll force it into your mind. My name. My face. I'll forever be grateful for what you've done. And I'll always thank you for protecting me. So that everytime you remember that you took a life, just remember that you only did it to save one."

"Kill to protect…do the ends really justify the means?"

"I don't know. If that doesn't bring you some peace, then you should atone."

"How?"

"Atone by saving more lives. You might never erase the guilt of a bad action, but you can at least overwhelm it with a multitude of good actions."

"Ori…..thank you. I didn't think you were so good with words."

"It's nothing! I don't think it was that good, but I spoke from the bottom of my heart. That's all."

"Even so. That's all I need."

An air of silence filled the atmosphere. We gazed at the stars for a while, then I became curious about another topic.

"Um, I'm not sure if it's ok to ask, but Wolfis mentioned something about you being bullied in your old school. Is it ok if you could share it with me?"

"If it means I can have a little more of your trust, then I guess I will. I've always wanted someone to listen to my story, but no one really bothered to care or believe in it except my grandpa."

"I guess I'll be the second."

Perci took a deep sighed and closed his eyes.

"I believe I was about 14 or 15 when it happened. I experienced things that would scar me for life. My bullies, they were terrible people."

"I know, right? Boys are such vile creatures. Can't even treat each other right and pick on others weaker than them.”

"No, my bullies were girls. 3 of them to be exact."

"Huh?"

"This is the part where most people get turned off by my story. It's something unfathomable for them apparently. I wouldn't blame you if you stopped listening."

"No, no. I want to hear more."

I couldn't process the fact that girls could bully boys that badly.

"You said you hated men right?” Perci chuckled. “Well, I was just like you once. I used to hate women."

My jaw dropped as I heard these words.

"Wait…this is a bit new for me. Sorry, go on."

"At first, they were simply asking for homework answers. I happily complied every time because of my kindness and naivety. It felt good to help women who needed help and be praised for my actions."

"They were basically taking advantage of you….."

"Yeah. But then, there was a time where I had forgotten to answer my homework, so they were unable to copy it. One of them grew furious and hit me on the face with a hard slap. It really hurt and left a red mark on my cheek. Being the wimp that I was, I was unable to speak out about it and kept my mouth shut."

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"Isn't that going too far?"

"That was only the beginning of my troubles. When my female teacher noticed the mark on my cheek, she asked me what happened. I hesitated to say anything, but she persisted in asking. So I told her that one of the girls slapped me. The teacher went over to the girl's seat and decided to talk to her."

"She was scolded for it, right?"

Perci paused for a moment. Then he looked at me and sighed.

"The girl told the teacher that she only slapped me because I was sexually harrasing her and her friends. And guess what? She believed them. Everyone did. In the end, it was me who got all the scolding. Being berated as a pervert and punishing me for my actions. I was forced to strip to my underwear and got spanked in front of the class. I was helpless as the class looked at me scornly and heard the sounds of those girls giggling. It was so humiliating that I ended up crying on the spot. That was the moment I had cemented my position as the bottom of the class. "

"That's horrible…What kind of teacher does that?! Isn’t that sort of punishment illegal?!" I stood up.

"She considered it as enacting justice for women. Even the school supported it. "

"That's absurd."

"When I came back home, I was scolded harshly by my parents. I tried to explain the real story to them, but they didn't believe me and completely thought I deserved it. I couldn't blame them, everyone in the school thought that way. I cried in my room all alone and couldn't sleep that night."

"Poor guy….…." I held Perci's shoulder.

"The next day, the girls showed me pictures of my punishment and used it as blackmail to make me do whatever they wanted. They took away my allowance, made me fetch things for them, carried their bags around, used me as a footstool, treating me like a dog that always had to follow them around. Even after school. I had become their slave."

"Is this really a true story?" I asked. "I haven't heard of girls who could do such things."

"It's up to you to believe it. But as a gentleman, I wouldn't lie to earn pity points. I despise that sort of thing."

"I guess. You're not like that sad sucker Damien."

"They called me all sorts of insults and slandered about me to other people. The longer I've spent with them, the more my self-confidence and self-esteem was gradually breaking down. It wasn't long until it had reached the very bottom of my soul. My female teacher noticed this, but completely turned a blind eye, like she didn't care at all."

"I've experienced something similar. Girls can be brutal with their words.”

"That's not all. They would often drag me over to the outdoor bathroom where there were no people and used me as a punching bag for their pleasure. Since I'm not supposed to hit a girl back, I couldn't act on anything. I was also treated like some sort of experiment, toying around with my body with their curiosity of the male gender. I-I won't get into the details of that."

"How cruel can they be?!" I slammed my fist onto the rooftop and hurt my hand.

"Ouch!"

"Calm down, it's all in the past. It doesn't really phase me anymore."

"But still!"

Perci cleared his throat and placed his finger in front of my lips.

"Let me continue. I couldn't tell anyone. They would never believe me. Because a girl can't bully a boy, right? Such a cruel lie. I had developed an irrational fear for women at that point. I continued to endure the pain until we had finished the school year. From then on, I locked myself in my room and cried every single day. To add insult to injury, my parents died in an accident and I had to move to this place with my grandfather."

"P-Perci….."

Tears began to flow from my eyes, but I wiped them off. I can't help but cry about these sorts of stories, real or fake.

"I thought I could start over and live a new life, but my first year here was a disaster. I couldn't get over my fear of women. The trauma they put me through continued to echo in my head. I couldn't talk to anyone anymore. I couldn't make friends. I was too much of a coward to even speak properly. Because of my broken spirit, I was all alone. I absolutely despised them. That was why I leaked my pants when a girl touched me. I had become the most unpopular kid in school."

"Hah?! Why didn't I know this?"

"You were probably too busy with your boyfriends at the time."

"Ahhh….damn it." I looked away shamefully.

"At one point, for some reason, I had gathered the courage to write a letter to a woman. She was a person that I admired from afar. I realized that women were not all that bad, so I decided it was time to break through my fear. Unfortunately, as you may already know, someone stole it and read it in front of class. I felt powerless. The girl I liked no longer looked at me and I was crying on my bed again."

"This is too much….can I hug you?" I said.

"Sure."

I placed his head on my chest and I cried.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that!"

“Y-You don’t have to cry for me…”

“I’ll do whatever I want, idiot!”

At that point, I no longer felt any hostility towards Perci and had an intimate moment with him. It was times like these that a person deserves to be comforted.

"It's fine now. Let me tell you the best part of the story."

"After that incident, I punched my bed multiple times and decided that enough was enough. I was tired of being a weakling crybaby. I decided to beg my grandpa to teach me how to be a real man."

"Oh, so that's what happened."

"My grandpa happily accepted my request and began training me in the art of the gentleman. I devoted all of my days to spending time with him before and after school. He taught me how to exercise my body and meditate, how to move with elegance, how to treat others with courtesy and respect, how to abide by the proper etiquette, how to dress well, how to have confidence while staying humble, how to compliment others and so much more. I was on a self-improvement journey."

"That's awesome! Eh?"

Perci placed his hands on my shoulders and looked at me seriously with his indigo eyes.

"There was one thing my grandfather had to drill inside my head repeatedly. Can you guess what it is?"

"No……"

"It was about how to deal with women. He always repeated this to me. Gender doesn't define a person's morality. Not all women are bad people. It was something I had to constantly hear to get over my hatred. Which is why I've learned how to treat women the right way."

"What does this have to do with me?"

"You hate men, right? That means you were just like me."

"Yes, I do. After what they've done to ruin my life…I can't forgive them."

"That's why I'll prove it to you. That not all men are bad people."

"Not all men….."

It wasn't something I could put in my system.

But, if Perci was able to do it, maybe I can.

"Do you believe my story?" Perci said.

He wasn't smiling. His mouth was completely neutral. But his eyes. Those pure indigo eyes of his stared at me with a deep conviction. How could I not believe it?

"Yes."

"Will you trust me?"

"Um…."

"It's fine if you don't."

"S-shut up! I do! Since you've trusted me with this story, I will trust you!"

"I'm glad to hear that," Perci smiled.

"But don't you dare break it! I won't forgive you if you do!"

"Of course."

 

Maybe…not all men.

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