When I woke up early in the morning, nobody was in the living room. I knew that my old man and Akiko-san wouldn’t be there. My old man is off to work, and Akiko-san has yet to come home from work. She contacted us saying that she’d be home late (or I guess early in the morning in this case?).
However, not even Ayase-san, who would normally be awake at this point, was around. Maybe she’s in her room? It’s not like there’s any reason to do so, since the living room was a perfectly comfortable temperature… Wait, a comfortable temperature? Only then did I realize that the A/C in the living room was blowing out cool air. It’s fixed, huh? Since I got home so late, and pretty much stayed in my room without eating dinner, I didn’t even notice. I guess my old man got a hold of someone who could repair it. Maybe he prioritized that over their shopping trip.
Since it was running, he probably knew that I’d wake up not long after he left. I looked over at the dining table and saw breakfast prepared for me. I suddenly got a hunch and checked my messages, and I found a LINE from Ayase-san.
‘I prepared breakfast, so you can eat it whenever. I already finished mine.’
I guess Ayase-san is awake already after all. Maybe she’s sitting in her room, studying or cleaning or something. I sent her a thank-you message over LINE and sat down at the dining table.
“Today it’s Japanese style, huh?”
On the pale blue plate was grilled salmon, along with radish cut up into a small mountain in the corner, and small Japanese plums. On the plate next to it was a cluster of seasoned seaweed, and salad on another large plate. It was like a breakfast you’d see at an inn. It looked like there was a lot of effort put into this.
After confirming the food I was dealing with, I picked up my empty rice bowl and miso soup bowl and stood up. While warming up the miso soup, I put some rice into my bowl, and after filling it up with miso soup, I returned to my seat.
“Time to dig in.” After putting my hands together in thankfulness for the food, I started eating the precious breakfast Ayase-san prepared for me.
I poured some soy sauce onto the radish to let it soak in and put it on top of the salmon, eating the pieces of salmon along with the radish. The sweetness of the fish and bitterness of the radish mixed on my tongue. The fish is as delicious as well, a different kind of taste from meat. Thanks to the radish, the aftertaste was non-existent, and I found myself able to eat several refills of rice.
While admiring the fact that such a simple breakfast could still be so delicious, I reached for the miso soup next. The miso soup base this morning was nameko mushroom. It was easy to drink, going right down my throat. As always, Ayase-san’s miso soup couldn’t get any better. I really felt like sending her another LINE message telling her exactly that, but I didn’t want to bother her, and that’s about all I could tell her anyway. So I just sent her an imaginary message of gratitude instead. Thank you for the delicious miso soup as always, Ayase-san.
After finishing my breakfast, I washed the dishes and cleaned everything up a bit more leisurely, since I had some more time until my part-time job started. While thinking about what to do until then, I decided to clean up the living room a bit. The dining table had a thin tablecloth on it so it wouldn’t get dusty. I thought maybe I should clean the fridge, and since Akiko-san should be coming home soon, I figured she might prefer her grilled fish not being too cold. If she doesn’t feel like eating it, I can always put it in the fridge later.
I cleaned from top to bottom, since the dirt would fall to the lowest layer. I wiped everything clean that I could, and after sweeping the floor, I mopped it as well. Whenever I’m doing something that I’m fairly used to, it really gives my head time to think about something else in the meantime. For example, about how Ayase-san has been acting weird as of late. I think it basically started two days ago.
‘If you’re wondering about Maaya, then don’t worry about it. We don’t have the kind of relationship where we would hang out during summer break. Just to let you know.’
No matter how much I thought about it, I failed to see a reason why she would come over to my room just to say that. Even more so if it’s Ayase-san, considering how this is clearly unlike how she usually acts.
“Hmmm…”
My hand stopped mid-cleaning, and I let out a sigh as I rested my chin on the wooden grip of the mop. Oh yeah, I remembered something else. According to Maru, the whole pool plan that Narasaka-san put together was supposed to include me as well. But I hadn’t heard anything about it. Of course, this makes total sense, since Narasaka-san doesn’t know my LINE address or any other way to contact me.
If so, what would Narasaka-san do? She would most likely get Ayase-san to relay her invitation to me. Of course, if Ayase-san herself doesn’t want to go, then that’s her own decision. However, it’s not natural and easily explainable why she would keep silent about the invitation that was directed at me.
What would I do if I was in Ayase-san’s position? For example, what if Maru came up with a similar pool plan, and told me to invite Ayase-san? Well, I probably would tell Ayase-san, even if I didn’t plan on going. Something along the lines of ‘Maru told me to invite you’. If not, I would basically be stealing a chance for her to enjoy herself. Since we’re so clear about being fair in our relationship, it would be going against the rules.
So why did Ayase-san keep quiet? Something is off. But when I reached this thought, I realized that I had stopped cleaning entirely.
“Not good, not good.”
I redoubled my cleaning efforts in the living room, but Ayase-san’s irregular actions wouldn’t leave my mind. I had finished scrubbing the floor when the front door opened and Akiko-san came staggering towards me in a wobbly and sleepy manner.
“Ahhh… Yuuta-kun… morning…”
“Welcome back, and good morning. Would you like something to eat?”
“Yeah… I’ll eat some ice cream and then get some sleep.” She spoke with her eyes half-closed.
I opened up the fridge and took out the ice cream (which was Akiko-san’s favorite, thus my old man always kept the fridge stocked full of it). It was a strawberry flavored ice cream stick.
“Oh yeah, you fixed the A/C yesterday, didn’t you?”
“Mmm… Ahh, right. Taichi-san called a technician…” She must have been exceptionally sleepy. Her words came out slowly and with a lot of pauses between them.
From what I understood after Akiko-san sat on the chair and started licking her ice cream, the reason our A/C malfunctioned was dirt in the filter, and my old man trying to fix things on his own apparently only made things worse. Then again, I imagine he really just wanted to show off to Akiko-san.
“It was running perfectly fine with a cool face up until yesterday, and then it suddenly broke down. Machines sure are weird.” Akiko-san said.
Upon hearing these words, my heart skipped a beat out of shock. Running perfectly fine with a cool face… and then it suddenly broke down. These words reminded me of what Yomiuri-senpai told me about a diligent person suddenly breaking down from stress and pressure. Maybe humans are fairly similar to machines in that respect.
—Being too diligent makes them unable to stop.
One day, their heart might break. If I see that someone needs to stop, I should force them to by telling them… However, would she really accept this?
“Hey, does Ayase-san hate people who force others to be honest with their desires?”
For starters, I need to understand Ayase-san’s personality further. With this in mind, I decided to ask Ayase-san’s mother, Akiko-san, about it. Upon hearing my question, Akiko-san stopped licking her ice cream and looked up at the ceiling.
“Hmmm? Are you asking if she hates people who force themselves on her?”
“F-Forced…”
Well, I guess it’s something like that. However, I feel like the nuance in what she said is different from what I was initially talking about.
“I was thinking more along the lines of coming up with plans and making her tag along.”
“So you’re asking if she would hate someone strong-arming her out on a date? Let me think… Judging from her personality, she would probably dislike that. But things would be different if you actually set up a plan with her and everything.”
“So she would dislike that… I figured.”
Even just as far as I could tell, Ayase-san’s personality was fairly close to how Akiko-san described. If so, then what could even be done to stop her…?
“Hm, do you want to invite her out on a date? Say, Yuuta-kun… Have you fallen in love with her by any chance?”
This sudden comment from Akiko-san interrupted my thought process entirely. What? Um, what did she say just now? I frantically tried to recall the conversation leading up to this point. Is Akiko-san actually having a terrible misunderstanding by any chance?
“N-No, of course not! I wasn’t talking about it in that kind of way. I just felt like Ayase-san has this personality where she goes too far at times.”
I need to explain the circumstances properly, so I told Akiko-san about my conversation with Yomiuri-senpai yesterday. As a result, Akiko-san gave a smile like she finally understood what I was talking about, which allowed me to sigh in relief.
“So that’s what you meant. I totally thought you came to like Saki as a girl.”
“That’s not—”
—going to happen. After all, Ayase-san is my little sister. That’s just impossible. It’s not allowed to happen.
“You’re right, though, Saki really can be like that.” When Akiko-san said this, I felt more tense. “Around the time she moved up to middle school, and I ended up getting busy myself, Saki started to grow up really rapidly, and she tried her best to be considerate of me and not increase my workload. She was far more mature than her peers.”
“That… I can picture.”
“Indeed. And it might seem like a good thing, but considering that all of that happened because I wasn’t there for her… you know. I’m reflecting on it, and the fact that I couldn’t spoil her as much as she deserved. I wanted her to be able to stay a bit more selfish, you know, allow her to stay a child for longer.” Akiko-san’s words stabbed me right in the heart.
I remembered Ayase-san in the picture I was shown. The Ayase-san who would beg for ice cream or beg to go to the pool that she had told me about. However, Ayase-san forced herself to stop acting like a child and decided to live independently more than everyone else. At first, it was probably just her trying to take some of the weight from her mother’s shoulders, but that probably isn’t the only reason anymore.
“Yuuta-kun.” Akiko-san called out to me. I raised my head and found her giving me a serious gaze. “I know this isn’t something I should ask my step-son for, but I want you to help her and make sure she doesn’t work herself into a corner too much. If she says that she doesn’t want to, then I think you should be more pushy about it, just like how you asked me before.”
I hesitated for a moment, but still nodded in compliance with Akiko-san’s request. So far, I’ve lived my life without trying to overstep my boundaries with other people. I don’t take responsibility for how other people live their lives, nor do I want to. After all, I don’t like it when people step into my own territory. Trying to carry each other’s burdens just sounds like so much of a pain that I couldn’t be bothered. I remembered what Ayase-san told me when we first met…
“I won’t have any great expectations of you, so I want you to do the same for me.”
These words gave me great relief and reassurance. This clearly was the best way of going about things in order to form a relationship that wasn’t too intrusive. However, I also can’t ignore the fact that Ayase-san might break down in the near future… Even if she hates me for it.
“It’s fine. Even if she starts to dislike you for it, I’ll tell you something she really loves.”
“What she loves, huh? You mean something that will cheer her up?”
“Of course!” Akiko-san looked at me with a bright smile.
Naturally, I was a bit doubtful that such a convenient thing existed, but I still asked Akiko-san to help me if need be. I really don’t want Ayase-san to hate me. We’re living together after all, and she’s my little sister.
The faint sound of the A/C running filled the living room.
“Thanks for that.” Akiko-san said, throwing the popsicle stick into the triangular corner of the sink.
She must have been pretty tired, since she staggered her way back to her bedroom. I just hope she doesn’t fall over. Good work today, and good night, Akiko-san. Now then, as for me… I put the grilled fish back into the fridge and made my way to Ayase-san’s room, knocking on the door.
“What?”
The door opened slightly, and I could see Ayase-san’s desk. On it were workbooks and notes, and in her hands she was holding her usual headphones. This time, she was wearing over-ear instead of in-ear headphones. Maybe she’s studying while listening to lofi music. The A/C was turned on, creating an even more cool atmosphere inside the room. I think Akiko-san mentioned that Ayase-san was weak to the heat.
“Listen, about the whole pool thing with Narasaka-san.”
“I’m not going.”
I wasn’t given any time to finish my sentence. Ayase-san must have seen me at a loss, as she quickly made something of an excuse.
“I don’t have the time to waste at the pool after all.”
That’s exactly what I’m worried about. It’s not that Ayase-san is trying to make me angry or anything. She still has this mindset that any time spent playing or fooling around should be avoided like the plague. She doesn’t think she needs time to just relax and focus on something else. Her heart is like green bamboo, endlessly growing but only straight up. There was an old saying that I faintly remember that said something like that. So I started thinking. If I try to follow her lead, she’ll just get even more stubborn.
“Alright, that’s totally fine. I was just thinking that maybe I wanted to go after all. So could you tell me Narasaka-san’s contact information?”
For now, I started acting interested in this event, so I gave Ayase-san a chance to let down her guard and maybe rethink her choice. Ayase-san then finally looked me in the eyes.
“Don’t wanna.”
“Eh? …Um, what?” I was shocked to say the least.
After all, I didn’t expect to get denied sp forcefully and directly. Ayase-san dislikes acting according to emotions with no logic behind them. I didn’t expect her to have such a grumpy response just because I asked for Narasaka-san’s contact information. Not to mention that Narasaka-san was probably planning on contacting me in the first place. Also, despite being the one who said it, Ayase-san seemed shocked by what she herself had said.
“Um, wait, no. Giving other people someone’s contact information… is bad manners after all.”
“Ahhh…”
That does make sense. That would explain her reaction. You’ve gotta protect personal information after all. That’s very much like Ayase-san. Yep.
“Let me ask Maaya for you. I’ll let you know if I get a response.”
“Got it.”
She must be using LINE or email, I guess. If so, then I didn’t expect it to take too much time. And since she said she wanted to study some more, I left her alone. Since we’ll see each other later for our part-time job shift, I could wait. I closed the door and headed back to my own room. The current problem is that I don’t think I can even drag Ayase-san to the pool. Right now, Ayase-san is like an immovable mountain focused only on the giant amount of studying and part-time work in front of her. Judging from that, she must be under a lot of mental pressure.
It’s not a problem to make her go to the pool. I just want her to take a breather before she breaks down entirely. That’s all I was thinking about, and all I honestly wished for. So I decided to ask her later during our part-time job.
Once afternoon rolled around, I left the house. I pedalled my bike through the steaming heat rising from the boiling concrete. I took several breaks on the road up the hill, and had put several water bottles in a bag in my bike’s basket, so I was protected against possible heatstrokes. I felt the sweat building up on my body, but suppressed my desire to stop and wipe it. It’s not like I disliked this exercise, though.
In the midst of Omotesando where you could watch university students bustling around, I found a single formal building that didn’t seem well-suited to the location. It’s a famous prep school targeted at people attempting to pass the entrance exams at Todai1. Whenever I stopped my bike and entered this building, I felt relieved. Rather than all the places full of normies and party-goers in Shibuya, this place filled with diligent students made me feel much more at peace. Near the prep school were also popular boutiques and a pancake store that was popular on Insta, which attracted a lot of female university students.
I entered the classroom and took a seat in the corner of the room. Unlike at school, the seats at prep school aren’t assigned or anything, but I guess it’s just in my nature to seek out an open spot. By the way, I’m not a prep school student or anything, I’m just here for the special summer classes. A lot of students around me were the same in that regard, and didn’t even talk much with each other, simply focusing on their workbooks and the questions in them.
Although Suisei High is known as a high-level school, it’s not like everyone in it is that much of a diligent student, so the difference in atmosphere between stiff and relaxing doesn’t come as much from grades or personalities, but rather simply the human relationships going on inside the classroom. Speaking about the students, they generally have black hair, don’t wear any flashy accessories or makeup, and don’t attempt to stand out in any weird way. Here, it’s all people who would be regarded as diligent from a general point of view. They’re different from the students at school, especially in how they are constantly looking at their workbooks.
They’re more like Ayase-san, at least in my opinion. Her fashion, color of hair, and outer appearance completely contradicts this, but her diligent nature and seriousness of intention were very similar. She goes at life full-force, seeming to possess no time to relax. She’s different from someone like me who’s just trying to get somewhat okay-ish grades in order to get into a university I find passable. She has the eyes of someone who’s fighting.
However, Ayase-san’s way of pushing herself is still quite different from the people here. After all, she wants financial success and she wants to be able to stand on her own two feet, which is why she isn’t even participating in these summer supplementary classes, since she would want to pay for them herself. If the average run-of-the-mill examinee tried to make do with self-study, they’d be just ridiculed and seen as arrogant and someone who’s trying to buck the trend, but when you see Ayase-san getting all the highest grades in almost every subject and memorizing everything related to it, you can only stay quiet with a wry smile.
Even her weakness with Modern Japanese has somehow flattened out since last month, and she’s slowly turning into a perfect examinee student… Well, for someone like me who isn’t a madman who thrives off effort, slowly but steadily increasing my knowledge is about the best I can hope for. It’s important to know your own skills, after all.
“Um…”
“Eh? Ah, yes?”
A faint voice suddenly called out to me, and I gave a belated response. Since this was the first time another student had spoken to me during summer supplementary classes, it took me a second to notice. The owner of this voice was a girl sitting next to me. It hasn’t been every time, but I feel like I’ve seen her sitting next to me a few times before. Her looks and fashion didn’t particularly make her stand out, and you might even call her plain, but there was one part that really stuck with me—Her height.
I would assume she was about 180cm tall. A girl taller than me was talking to me, and I felt an odd pressure for some reason. And yet her voice was devoid of any confidence.
“You dropped something.”
“A-Ah, thank you very much.” I must have dropped my bookmark when I opened my workbook.
I thanked the girl and picked it up, then I met eyes with her again.
“That’s a bookmark from the summer fair, right? The one you get from the bookstore near the train station.”
“Y-Yes, that’s right.”
I couldn’t tell her I worked there part-time. Something inside of me prevents me from telling random people personal information about myself.
“I pass by there pretty often. What a coincidence.”
“It’s pretty much the only place you can buy books in the area, after all.”
“You’re right, ahaha.” The tall girl let out a light laugh.
That’s where our conversation ended. It’s not that she necessarily wanted to talk with me or anything, but she rather spoke to me because of the bookmark, and found a common topic of conversation for a brief moment. It was an average type of conversation with no particular meaning behind it. I glanced at the girl, who had already turned back towards her own desk, but then felt like something was off.
…Has she ever come into the bookstore? Since we’re both high school students, our current daily lives should almost be the same, but I’ve never seen her at the cash register. I don’t think I would forget someone who had the stature of a model like her. Well, it’s not like I work there 24/7 either, and she might not be a faithful regular or anything. We might have just missed each other. With that thought, I turned towards my own desk.
That was about the only notable event compared to my usual summer classes. I didn’t exchange any further words with the girl, either. I just spent my time the same as ever.
From the afternoon until the evening, I focused on my exam studies. After the final time block ended and I checked the time, I still had about 40 minutes until my shift would start. The bookstore was about ten minutes from there on my bike. Naturally, that’s something I kept in mind when I chose this prep school.
I stuffed my workbooks into my bag and quickly stepped out of the prep school. I grabbed my bike and was about to ride off. Since this flow of action had repeated over the course of summer break, becoming something like a routine, my brain executed these actions automatically. However, something different happened today.
“Huh?”
I subconsciously blinked in confusion. Right as I was bedalling on my bike, I spotted someone sitting at the window seat of the pancake store right in front of the prep school. Her long black hair was kept up tidy with a katyusha headband, and she was wearing what looked to be a stylish flare skirt. Of course, this person who gave off the air of a prim and proper young lady was none other than my senior at work, Yomiuri-senpai.
The people with her must be friends from her university. They were seated at a seat for four inside the store, having a serious discussion while munching their pancakes. Since I was fairly close to them, and because they were talking with quite loud voices, I could make out pieces of their conversation. Two of them seemed to be Yomiuri-senpai’s age, and were probably university students, but the third woman had a much different air about her, which stood out in his heat.
After all, compared to the other girls who were wearing clothes befitting the hot summer weather, she was clad in a long-sleeved cardigan, observing the faces of Yomiuri-senpai and the other two.
“Now, who can disagree? Our humanities research is being compared with other natural sciences and being called a soft science because it can’t contribute to society. We’re even having our existence questioned. At this rate, all your research and its validity will be nullified.”
The university students seemed to be unable to say anything in the face of this harsh statement. They just shrunk in place while exchanging helpless gazes. At the same time, the knowledgeable woman smiled without a care in the world, picking up another piece of pancake and lifting it to her mouth. No matter how you looked at it, this wasn’t a conversation to have in a popular pancake store, but the other customers around them either had no idea what they were talking about and thus didn’t intervene, or just ignored it as another piece of background noise. Amidst this heavy atmosphere, one person finally opened their mouth. It was Yomiuri-senpai.
“If we were to define natural sciences with the act of proving reproducibility of laws through experiments, as far as the inventions gained from natural sciences go, they clearly have a higher contribution towards human society. As long as this is a generally accepted fact, there is no room for us to deny the natural sciences from our point of view.”
“Clever. It seems like you’ve accepted the fact that twisting the truth to disagree with a statement is just foul play.”
“Yes, and I say that there is a meaning behind humanities research.”
“For example? Researching literature or historical facts is but a simple fool’s errand. I disagree with the idea of the royal family offering resources towards research that provides us with no benefits.”
“Discovering the truths behind the history our ancestors took is a primitive and essential question on how human beings should behave.”
“Is that so? Literature and history are nothing more than memories passed down to the present from people in the past. Even if you grasp this concept, it won’t allow you to understand the tendencies of a modern and average human being.”
“Know the past, and you shall know the future. Should we not search the past to find hints for how to solve modern problems?”
“You’re saying that history will repeat itself?”
“Yes. We can see that there are reasons for social conflict that have repeated themselves over and over in the past. So would it not be fair to say that learning from the past will open a path to find adequate answers in the present?”
“Ahh, that’s quite illogical, Yomiuri-kun.”
“Huh?”
“The very maxim that history will repeat itself is nothing but an impression from a person in the past. With no substantial data that exists from the past, it is impossible to prove any reproducibility no matter how much you research it.”
“Urk…”
Yomiuri-senpai must have been stabbed where it hurt, and she lost her ability to make a counterpoint. The knowledgeable woman, for her part, held a piece of pancake on her fork and twirled it around.
“The present age has made it possible to observe data from any event you could imagine. The acquisition and gathering of this has been done quite easily, and this brings the truths of people who supposedly were unable to be substantiated to the foreground. Whether or not the people of the future can learn a lot from the past or not, this is the present day for us right now. If one wants to gain hints from the past to solve a problem, it should be your first priority to do so with the help of natural sciences, correct? Are there any objections?” The woman jerked her chin as she asked this, and Yomiuri-senpai responded immediately.
“Yes. The values of people in our present day have remained unbroken and exist atop our culture. By learning about literature, you learn of the past, learn of their religion, learn of their manners, which then allows you to gain an adaptable and accurate observation as to how we ended up the way we are right now. For example, a certain country’s artist creates a music video which looks down on another country’s religion, which then creates an outbreak of anger from these citizens. Is there any scientific way to prove the reason for this anger? Can you come up with any estimation or formula for how to quell their anger? A researcher of humanities would surely come up with several different tentative theories.”
“Hmm, quite the aggressive objection, but your reasoning is not wrong.”
In fact, her actions showed that it must have been quite a strong argument. For the first time, the woman stopped playing with her fork and started to think about what Yomiuri-senpai had said. However, it took her a mere few seconds to speak up again.
“How can you even prove the causality that this anger is related to and originated from that country’s history and religion?”
“Eh?”
“Did this anger arise solely because their culture had been looked down upon? Maybe the music might have made the inhabitants uncomfortable, and the format of the video aided in amplifying this anger?”
“That correlation could be revealed with thorough investigation and social experiments with the people involved.”
“Checkmate, I’d say.”
“Eh? …Ah.”
Yomiuri-senpai froze up, and the woman stole a piece of her pancake with a smile. Unbefitting of her mature and knowledgeable age, the woman started chewing on the slice she stole like an innocent child.
“You can’t defend against that. Basically, you just admitted yourself that looking through past literature was meaningless, and that we should focus on research about what is occurring in the present. What a shame, prepare a better logic next time, Yomiuri-kun.”
“Urk…” Yomiuri-senpai held her head in frustration and defeat.
After that, she stabbed her fork into her pancake and stuffed it into her cheek. Seeing her aggressively chew on it while still pouting made her seem much more childish, which honestly surprised me. The whole question and answer spiel, and even the sight of her right now, was completely different from how I knew her at work. Since she always shows nothing but leisure and superiority towards me, seeing her at a loss for words and beaten into a corner was oddly refreshing.
“Kudou-sensei, how can you make so many objections for the opposing side? You’re also part of the faculty for humanities.” Yomiuri-senpai asked.
It seems like this knowledgeable woman was named Kudou. Judging from the fact that Yomiuri-senpai called her ‘Sensei,’ she must be a professor, or rather an associate professor. I read in a book once that you can’t become a professor without reaching a certain age, and this woman didn’t look that old to begin with.
“It’s simple, really. I understand that true feelings and lip service are two different things.”
“I see… So then, what argument would you have made, Sensei?”
“I would have started by asking ‘What’s wrong with being a soft science’?.”
“…Eh?”
“It’s true that humanities is categorized as a soft science, but you can still argue against the premise that it doesn’t posit any contribution to humanity. It’s true that the natural sciences’ research and progress will directly impact and influence humanity’s well-being as a whole, but sadly the happiness of humanity is not something that has a direct value associated with it. Righteousness and happiness sadly don’t share any common tendencies across all of humanity. For example, I personally see this time of eating sweet and delicious pancakes as the greatest happiness there could be, but what percentage of people in this world would agree with me?”
“Isn’t leaving behind children in this world generally seen as a shared happiness between humans?”
“So are you saying those who don’t want to have children can never be truly happy?”
“…A valid point. There are a lot more people in today’s age who do not want children.”
“Exactly. As things stand, the thesis of humanity’s happiness—or how humanity should continue to exist—is exceptionally vague. Even the results and inventions of natural sciences can only achieve things that are superficial. Precisely because we are part of the soft sciences, and a practical science, you should accept our studies if you do not want society and this world to fall to ruin. That’s probably what my answer would have been.”
“Ahh, when you put it that way…”
“Bringing attention to communication with other countries wasn’t a bad attempt. If you had accepted the fact that we are a soft science, but then showed the value we offered, it might have been a better attempt.”
“Very interesting… Thank you very much, Kudou-sensei.” Yomiuri-senpai lowered her head towards the woman slightly and let out a sigh. “Man, I really can’t beat you.”
“No. You’re amazing, Yomiuri-san, I couldn’t follow at all from the very beginning.”
“Right, right~”
“Hey, you two. Don’t act like this doesn’t have anything to do with you. I’m treating you to some expensive pancakes, so you have to entertain me. Now, for the next topic of our debate…”
“Ehh, there’s no way we can win against Yomiuri-san!”
The university girls raised groans of despair. As for Yomiuri-senpai, right when a new topic of conversation came up, she averted her gaze from her friends, probably to hide her frustration. In doing so, she coincidentally looked over in my direction… or maybe not so coincidentally, judging from the circumstances. She then met eyes with me as I stood next to the street. Crap, I thought.
I might have accidentally picked up parts of their conversation, but if you think about it objectively, I was pretty much just eavesdropping. I can’t really say I was doing anything above-board there. However, Yomiuri-senpai looked away from me immediately and glanced down at her wristwatch.
“I’m sorry, Kudou-sensei, I need to head to my part-time job.”
“Yes, feel free. Don’t worry about the payment.”
“Thank you very much for treating me.” Yomiuri-senpai gave a polite bow, put her bag over her shoulder, and left the store.
When she passed by me, she gave me a faint glance that looked more like a message than anything, so I followed after her. A few minutes later, when the pancake store wasn’t in sight anymore, I spoke up to Yomiuri-senpai.
“I’m sorry about what happened before.”
“Since you’ve apologized, you basically admit to your guilt, correct?”
“Okay, hold on. That’s a misunderstanding. I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“So you’re a criminal who doesn’t know when to give up, I see. …Well, I don’t think you were stalking me or anything.”
“I’m glad to have received your good faith.”
“Since you’re pretty clever, you’d probably use an even more sick method if you were stalking someone.”
“I really didn’t want that kind of good faith, okay?” In the face of such harsh criticism, I opened my bag and showed her my reference books. “I just came from my summer classes. I’m taking them at the prep school nearby.”
“Ahh. I see, my friend.”
“Waah, so much trust and reassurance in your weird choice of words.”
“Basically, you weren’t just waiting for me, but were also listening in on our conversation?”
“That’s…”
She set me up. I walked right into her guided question, leaving me unable to say anything. Seeing this, Yomiuri-senpai burst out laughing.
“I was just joking. Just paying you back a bit since you saw me in such an embarrassing situation. Come on, let’s go.”
“Ah, yes.”
I hurriedly got off my bike and started walking next to Yomiuri-senpai, pushing it as I went. I briefly glanced over at her. With her beautiful black hair, her prim and proper clothes, she gave off the air of a noblewoman as she was bathed in the white sunlight. Although it was already getting close to evening, it seemed as bright and sunny as noontime. It was nighttime last month when we went to the movie theater, but these clothes made her seem even more neat and tidy than usual.
“I didn’t think you’d be there to see me have my logic destroyed and frustrated like that. My pride as a senior was greatly injured.”
“No, that’s not…”
I never had any respect for you to begin with—I forced myself to stop before I said these words. However, the nuance in what I had said before then seemed to have been conveyed, as Yomiuri-senpai gave me a sharp glare. Feeling like I was being stabbed by a million needles, I quickly changed the subject.
“By the way, who was that person just now?”
“Are you talking about Kudou-sensei?”
“Yeah, her.”
“That’s Junior-kun for you. You had three young university students at your disposal, but you looked at the ripe woman instead.”
“Aren’t you being the rude one for talking about her age?”
“Those kinds of things are allowed if it’s between women, Junior-kun.”
I wonder if she learned about that from this Kudou-sensei as well. Of course I didn’t even dare to ask. I don’t want any more trouble than I’ve already gotten myself into today.
“Kudou-sensei is an associate professor at my university. I imagine you must have guessed as much from her age, right?”
“Yes, vaguely. But aren’t you on summer break right now? Do you usually eat pancakes with your professors like that?”
“She sometimes invites us out like that. Well, not many people actually join her.”
“So you are different. Is that what you’re saying, Mr. Self-conscious?”
“50 points for that remark.”
“Are you displeased now? Normally you’d always tease me like that.”
“At least call me Ms. Self-conscious. I am a woman after all.”
“That’s what you’re displeased about?”
Apparently she didn’t have any complaints about being called self-conscious.
“At my university, I’m actually in the group of diligent people. I doubt you can even imagine how I must be, since I act so completely differently around you.”
“I know that you’re clever, so it’s not that much of an image breaker… I was just impressed that there’s always a higher place, huh.”
“Kudou-sensei seems like she’s living in a different world, yeah.”
“I can’t really tell much with just that one scene I saw.”
“She’s pretty much always like that. Like she’s bottomless, and it’s often hard to tell what she’s even thinking~”
“Well that’s pretty much how you seem to me, Yomiuri-senpai.”
She’s a girl older than me who seems to always have some kind of trick up her sleeve, not allowing me to understand anything about her. With how knowledgeable and quick-witted she is, it always feels like she’s got me dancing on top of her palm. Maybe the age gap between us is something I subconsciously became aware of, which then causes me to react like that. Maybe this is something totally common. If I were to stand on the same stage as Yomiuri-senpai, would I be able to fully understand her? While I was thinking that, Yomiuri-senpai made a frank expression.
“Ehh, I don’t want that.”
“Don’t want what exactly?”
“You’re thinking about how you’ll push me down one day, right?”
“Huh?”
Unable to progress what I had just been told, I let out a dumbfounded voice.
“It’s frustrating if you lack knowledge and wits, okay? One day I’ll tell you.”
“Was education always a battle like this?”
“That’s how I enjoy it. Did you not expect that?”
“No, it makes total sense.”
Judging from her looks alone, she’s a prim and proper book reader, and a literary girl who tries to gain knowledge by reading books. However, she also has the rebellious heart of a young girl. That is how Yomiuri Shiori works.
“But holding such a long and serious debate must be exhausting, right?”
“Of course it is. You always have to be on edge so that your logic doesn’t fall apart, and you can’t relax either. Not to mention that Kudou-sensei is the type of person who immediately pries apart any kind of gap or contradiction with your logic. It’s so stressful and exhausting that I really don’t want to go through that kind of thing before my part-time job.”
“Despite that, you were quite proactive.”
“If I’m doing something, I go at it full strength. Although it’s annoying. Well, if I’m exhausted, I can just recharge my energy in a different way.”
“In what way?”
“By teasing you. I get a lot of energy and HP back. Ahh, talking with you is so relaxing, Junior-kun.”
“Aren’t you just preying on the innocence of other people?”
“Thanks for being the back of my chair, lad~” She sounded like an old lady, putting one hand on my bike’s basket and pretending to stagger.
“Um.” I was about to ask her to quit using me like some kind of walking cane, but I stopped myself.
I see. This is the biggest difference between Ayase-san and Yomiuri-senpai. After we made it through the small alley and reached the main street, the bookstore was right in front of us, with both of us walking here together. Yomiuri-senpai is unable to decline Kudou-sensei’s invitation to eat out no matter how bothersome it is, and she still participates in the discussion. Of course, she probably sees merits in it large enough for her to pull through all of it, but normally you would want to avoid physical and mental exhaustion as much as possible. Even so, she manages to keep both sides in balance, which is pretty amazing.
In my case, it makes me want to forgive her for anything she does for the sake of her own convenience. Even if she comes up with contrived nonsensical logic at times, the conversation is enjoyable enough for me to ignore it. When you have someone who you can be relaxed around and use to your convenience in the good sense of the word, you can balance your diligent side with your not-so diligent side. Maybe everything would be resolved if Ayase-san had someone like that?
“Ah…”
Right as I was thinking about that, Yomiuri-senpai and I walked into the bookstore, running into Ayase-san who seemed to have just arrived herself. It felt like another coincidence that happened today, but then again, we were in the same shift so it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.
“Yaho, Saki-chan!”
“Mm. Ah, yes, hello. You two were together?”
It appeared that this encounter was quite unexpected for Ayase-san, and she showed a cool reaction similar to how she would act at home, but quickly flashed a friendly smile. The only one who didn’t notice that anything was off was Yomiuri-senpai.
“We just happened to meet near the prep school he’s attending, right, Junior-kun?”
“Um… yes, that’s right.” My response came out a bit late.
Whether it was by coincidence or not, I started to feel awkward with Ayase-san actually in front of it. Maybe it’s because I’ve been thinking about her constantly. I felt pathetic, even though I hadn’t done anything wrong.
“Just so happened to? I see.” Ayase-san slowly repeated what Yomiuri-senpai had said like she was chewing on the words, then she smiled. “Well, even if you were close enough to meet up outside of work, I, as his family, would be relieved to know that Asamura-kun is with someone as wonderful as Yomiuri-san.”
“Ehhh? You’re a good teaser, Saki-chan.”
“I am merely gifted with good guidance from you Senpai, fufu.” Ayase-san’s shoulders gently moved up and down as she giggled.
I guess that’s about to be expected from her high adaptability. She seems to have already mastered her ability to converse with Yomiuri-senpai. However, something felt off to me. Did Ayase-san ever do something like this? Namely, to banter about the relationships of a stranger she wasn’t all too close with?
With that thought plaguing me, and also with the conversation about the pool in mind, I had a mountain of things I wanted to talk about with Ayase-san, so I decided to bring them up during work. However, as it had been before, the timing today was unbelievably awful.
Just when I had a tiny bit of time on my hands, Ayase-san was busy at the cash register, and when I was folding some book covers for later, Ayase-san left to apparently check the condition of the bookshelves. Even when break time arrived and I asked ‘Did you get a response from Narasaka-san?’ Ayase-san simply shook her head and left the room to buy some drinks outside. It felt like she was avoiding me.
Time passed until it was already late enough for us to leave. I finished my preparations to leave and waited for Ayase-san like I always would. However, only Yomiuri-senpai came out of the changing room.
“Ah, Junior-kun. Saki-chan asked me to tell you something. Apparently she wants to stop by somewhere, so you can go home without her.”
“Eh?” I blinked in confusion.
I didn’t hear anything about that, though? I panicked a bit and checked my phone, but I hadn’t received any kind of message or email from Ayase-san. Right as I was in a baffled daze, my phone vibrated. I panicked and looked down at the screen, and saw a single line on there.
‘I’ll be shopping for something, so you can go home without me.’
That was the only sentence I received over LINE. ‘Got it’, I responded. It’s not like there aren’t any stores that are open after 10pm of course. Maybe she’s buying something that’d be too awkward to purchase with me around? That being said, this is all so abrupt that I can’t help but be curious about it. Yet again, it felt like she was avoiding me. No, no, no. There’s no way, right?
While thinking about all of this, I pedaled my bike and quickly reached our flat. I was yet again reminded how quickly I could make it home if I was riding my bike normally. However, when I asked myself if I really wanted to get home that badly, then the answer was an obvious no. It seems like I’ve gotten used to coming home with Ayase-san over the past few weeks.
I parked my bike in the usual parking lot for the flat and made my way up to our apartment. Since it was Monday, my old man was already home, and probably asleep since he had to get up early tomorrow. As for Akiko-san, she must be working right now. I quietly muttered ‘I’m home’ so that I wouldn’t wake up my old man and headed to the living room. Normally, this would be when Ayase-san would start making dinner for us, but… I can’t always rely on her, huh?
I opened up the fridge and spotted some salad. Beside I spotted a small pot covered with plastic wrap.
“Miso soup, huh?”
Figuring that Ayase-san would be home soon as well, I prepared two bowls for the miso soup and another two for the rice, one for each of us. I took out the salad, wondering what I should make for the main dish. When I checked through the freezer and fridge again, I found some small plastic packs in the freezer.
“What are these?”
When I took them out, they turned out to be cooked rice with added ingredients, but frozen. There was rice colored brown from the soup stock, as well as sliced shiitake mushrooms, carrots, and other ingredients mixed in there.
“I’m home.”
I turned around and saw Ayase-san enter the front door.
“What? Ah, dinner… Sorry, I’ll get to it right away.” She said.
“Ah, no, don’t worry about it. I was thinking I might as well do it myself today. What am I supposed to do with this, by the way?” I showed her the plastic container with the cooked rice.
Since I had lived most of my life without the concept of cooking rice, I never came up with the idea of putting cooked rice in the freezer.
“Ah, well. I made that in advance, so you just have to warm it up in the microwave.”
“…How many minutes?”
“It says on the microwave.”
When she said that, I actually had no clue what she meant, so I checked the microwave. On it, there were different recommended times for cooking different kinds of things that you’d want.
“Ah, this?”
There was an illustration there with rice inside a bowl that said ‘Heat up’ on it. We’ve been using this microwave for a solid five years, and I’d never noticed that icon. I put the frozen container into the microwave and went to press the start button.
“Ah, wait. Take the lid off.”
I was confused. “Why is that?”
“If you leave the lid on, the ice inside will melt, and the rice will get all sticky. I don’t like it like that.”
“I… see?”
I actually had no idea what she was talking about, but if that made it better, I decided I might as well listen to her. As I was warming up the cooked rice, Ayase-san took care of preparing the miso soup she took out from the fridge. Along with the special rice, we also had the tofu miso soup and salad. Ayase-san also took out some tomatoes from the fridge, cut them into small pieces, and put them on top of the salad. It felt fairly luxurious to see the green color of the lettuce, cabbage, and cut radish and the white color of the salad mixed with the red color of the tomatoes.
“It looks really good.”
“When cooking a Japanese-themed meal for a family, it always ends up looking a bit brownish, so if you add tomatoes or paprikas, it gives it a bit more color.”
Paprikas are basically colorful bell peppers that come in a variety of red, orange, and even yellow or green. I’d looked them up online once. Also, they’re not as bitter as bell peppers, so with a bit of washing, you can even eat them raw. Ever since Ayase-san became responsible for the cooking in our family, more and more weird dishes and ideas for cooking started to pop up. Or maybe my and my old man’s cooking knowledge is just super outdated. But, leaving aside broccoli or cauliflower, I don’t think you’d usually run into stuff like Romanesco or other excotic vegetables.
“There’s a lot of inventing going on, huh?” I started to feel apologetic for always eating everything and never thinking about it.
“It’s not that big of a deal if you ask me.”
“No no, I’m always thankful. Really. I already gave up on searching for that high-pay part-time job, so I just feel guilty for always being on the receiving end.”
“I’m already thankful that you looked for some studying-oriented BGM. So we’re even.” Ayase-san gave me a calm smile.
Only in times like these did it feel like all the awkward atmosphere from the past few days had vanished. After that, Ayase-san put some tea leaves into the small teapot. I saw her doing this and took out two teacups from the tableware shelf, putting them in front of Ayase-san. After she finished brewing the tea, she poured it into both the cups so we would have something to drink with our dinner.
The warmed-up rice went perfectly with the soup stock, and it was delicious. Not to mention that, just as Ayase-san had said, the rice didn’t stick together too much, which made it even better.
“If that’s not enough, you can warm up another pack from the freezer.”
“No, it’s pretty late already. This is enough.”
When I looked at the clock on the wall, I saw that it was getting close to 11pm. Now that I’ve eaten, I should take a bath and then head to bed. Not to mention that Ayase-san would always take her bath after me, so the longer I took, the longer she’d have to stay awake. However, it was indeed a comfortable dinner. I’m hesitating now. I almost felt like ending the day without cleaning up the whole thing we had gone through this afternoon. With a sigh, I forced myself to speak up again.
“So… about the whole pool thing with Narasaka-san.”
“We’re still talking about that?”
“I mean, I still haven’t gotten her contact information. If she’s waiting for my response, then I figured it would be rude to make her wait.”
“…Alright, I’ll tell you.” Ayase-san sounded a bit annoyed. She grabbed her smartphone from the dining table and started searching for Narasaka-san’s contact address.
“Wait.” I put up my palm, gesturing to her to stop.
Ayase-san gave me a somewhat puzzled expression.
“I actually don’t care about Narasaka-san’s contact address at all.”
“…What?”
“To be more accurate, I’m not all that interested in going to the pool with Narasaka-san.”
Ayase-san’s somewhat suspicious expression now turned into one of confusion. She was making the kind of face that basically read ‘What is he talking about?’ Or maybe I’m just saying something she didn’t expect me to. And she’s not wrong, because I’m going to say something that would go against anything she would have anticipated me to say.
I don’t mind the fact that Ayase-san doesn’t want to go to the pool. And if I wanted to respect her freedom of choice, I should wait for her to change her mind. People who willfully disregard other people’s opinions are just egoists deluded by their own stories. Reality is not some kind of story, which is why this kind of action is something toxic, something that could only hurt others. I know that, but that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to worry about her.
“I want to go to the pool with you, Ayase-san.”
“I don’t get it.” Ayase-san looked like she had seen an alien—or rather, I had never met an alien, so I have no way of knowing what they look like—but she gave me that kind of look.
I, however, ignored this and continued.
“The reason I said I wanted to go is because I thought maybe you were interested in going yourself. The reason I wanted to know Narasaka-san’s contact info was because I was hoping that maybe you’d be jealous about me being the only person having fun.”
“Me?”
“You.”
“Why would I be jealous?” Ayase-san looked like she had lost all context for the current conversation.
If only this had overlapped with the feelings she simply hadn’t realized yet, I might have just been able to have a bit more relief.
“You want to go to the pool, right?”
Ayase-san’s mouth closed, and it seemed like she purposefully puckered her lips close so that no words could come out.
“I heard about it from Akiko-san. You’re bad with the heat, so you’d always ask for ice cream, or beg her to visit the pool with her when you were younger, right? And even right now, you can’t handle heat all too well, right?”
“That’s…”
“It’s true, right? I mean, when the A/C broke down, you immediately stayed in your room. Knowing that you work like that, you at least would be a bit interested to visit the pool with your friends, right?”
“Why are you so dead-set on getting me to go to the pool?”
“Remember what my old man said? Once we’re third-year students, we have to focus on university entrance exams, so we should have some fun now while we can.”
“Yeah, he did…”
“I understand that you want to become independent as quickly as possible. But if you keep stressing and pressuring yourself like this every single day, you’ll collapse before you even reach your goal. I’m worried about that, okay?”
“You’re worried…?”
“That’s right. I want you to take a step back, Ayase-san. I figure it would be best for you to spread your wings and get a bit of rest.”
I had said everything I wanted to, so all I could do was wait for Ayase-san’s response.
“You can’t… say that for sure.” Ayase-san’s gaze dropped to the table, her eyebrows narrowed downwards. “I don’t have the time to go to the pool. I really don’t.”
“Ayase-san…”
With her lips tightly pursed together, she reached for a sticky note on the table, scribbled down something that she was reading from her phone, and put it in front of me with such force that it felt like she was slapping it down on the table.
“I’m going to study now.” She said. She put her dishes in the sink and went to her room.
“No good, huh…?” I let out a sigh and dropped my gaze down to the sticky note.
It was a phone number, with a handwritten, albeit not-very-neatly-written, ‘Maaya’ below it, so this must be Narasaka-san’s phone number.
“Why would I go there all on my own…?” I slumped my shoulders in defeat and returned to my room after cleaning up the dishes.
1 The University of Tokyo, probably one of the most difficult universities to get into