Chapter 11: Interlude – Kyouka

The young Kagami Kyouka rushed into her big brother's room.

It was just after the scary rat had attacked them, and Kyouka was worried about her big brother. She didn't care about all the adults fussing over her, telling her to stop, or do this and that. She had to go to where her big brother was.

"Big brother!" Kyouka called out desperately. She scanned the room with her eyes and quickly found the person she was looking for.

"Haha. Hey, keep it down will ya?" The ten-year-old Kagami Ken chuckled. He was currently sitting on a comfy armchair while sipping on some chocolate milk. He beckoned Kyouka over, telling her to sit next to him. Kyouka, ever the obedient little sister, naturally followed. She sat down next to Ken and looked at him with a confused expression.

Ken seemed to notice her looking at him, smiled warmly at her, and asks, "Why are you staring at me so much?"

"Because... uhm. The big rat..." Kyouka had trouble putting her thoughts into words. Eventually, she managed to ask, "What happened to it...?"

"Oh, that...? I told the adults that a bad guy got into the manor, then attacked us. Nobody would have believed me if I said a big black rat with dark smoke coming out of it attacked us. So I made something up." Ken said, matter-of-factly, with a serious expression. "Oh, right. You have to play along too, okay? Don't tell anyone about the truth, or else they might think you're a crazy person."

"Okay." Kyouka bobbed her little head, causing Ken to smile warmly at her and stroke her head. Kyouka just let it happen, even closing her eyes in bliss. Then she beamed happily at Ken, relieved of his safety and well-being. "But I'm glad you're okay, big brother."

"Haha. What are you talking about." Ken said, continuing to stroke Kyouka's head with a smile, "Who said I'm okay?"

"...huh?" Kyouka looked at Ken in confusion. "W-w-what...?"

"I'm not okay Kyouka," Ken said. "Don't you remember? I got bit by the rat while trying to protect you."

"a-ah..." Kyouka couldn't say anything, she could only stare blankly at Ken, whose face had turned cold.

"Then I had to stay in the hospital for thirteen years."

"..."

"And then, after waking up from a six-month coma, I ran around for three more days." Ken brought his face close to Kyouka's ears and whispered. "...and then I died."

"...!" Kyouka's mind shook. Her body trembled from the coldness brought by Ken's words.

"Do you remember now, Kyouka?" Ken smiled warmly again, as if he had never said anything.

"I-I..." Kyouka stammered.

"Do you remember how it's all your fault?"

"I di-didn't mean t--"

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT KYOUKA!!" Ken bellowed, his warm smile and calm face were gone, replaced by a demonic expression as he shouted at Kyouka. "YOU'RE THE REASON I DIED! IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU!!"

"!...No! I didn't... I didn't mean to...!"

"IT'S YOUR FAULT!!!"

"ah... no..."

"I DIED BECAUSE OF YOU KYOUKA!!!"

"Ghhh." Kyouka couldn't take it anymore, and curled up on the ground while crying. She wanted to cover her ears, but she felt like that wasn't quite right. After all... "I'm sorry..."

Kyouka blamed herself as well. That's why she didn't want to cover her ears. She thought it was her fault too.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT KYOUKA!!"

"I'm sorry...!"

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!! EVERYTHING!!!"

"I'm sorry!!"

The two continued just like that for a while. Ken angrily shouting at Kyouka with a face twisted into a demonic expression, with Kyouka curled up on the ground, crying while apologizing.

This seemingly endless cycle came to an end when Ken suddenly stopped shouting, and his expression became calm.

"Kyouka," Ken called out. "Look at me."

"..."

"Look at me, Kyouka." Ken said. His voice was gentle, just like how it usually was when Kyouka heard it.

"...okay." Kyouka hesitantly replied. Tears were still running down her face, and snot from her nose, but she still obeyed. "!!!"

What greeted Kyouka's eyes was not the big brother she knew.

It certainly had Kagami Ken's features and his black hair. It was even wearing his clothes. However, the childlike figure in front of Kyouka couldn't possibly be her big brother.

"How do I look? Kyouka." Ken asked. His voice was dry and raspy, however, it was definitely his voice.

"H-how..." Kyouka stammered.

"This... is what happens when the big rat bites you. It starts from wherever you get bit. It'll hurt a lot, then your flesh starts rotting and turning black." Ken said matter-of-factly, in his raspy voice. "Then it spreads. Then the pain gets worse. Then it spreads some more. Then the pain gets even worse. Until... you look like how I look right now." Ken gestured to his body casually.

Ken's entire body was colored black, and eerie dark smoke was oozing off of him. His clothes were covering part of his body, but what could be seen looked like it had rotten. Even Ken's blue eyes had turned completely black, not a single hint of white to be seen. Oddly enough, Ken's teeth remained, however, they had changed into pointed ones, not unlike what you would find in a shark's jaws.

"How do I look? Why aren't you answering?" Ken asked again, his voice still dry and raspy.

"..." Kyouka was still speechless, still looking at Ken's body in horror.

"No answer? Well, that's fine. You were always a bit dim, but I found that cute too." Ken smirked, unintentionally baring his sharp teeth. "It's funny what love can do to a person huh. I just thought of all your faults as cute or endearing."

"..."

"I love you Kyouka. More than I did anyone else in this world." Ken said his black, rotten face turning serious.

"...I-I do too. I love you too, big brother." Kyouka stuttered a bit but still managed to say it firmly. It was one of the truths of this world, so she felt like she had to say it clearly.

But who would have known that Ken would just shake his head?

"No, you don't." Ken said calmly.

"...That's not true... I do love you!" Kyouka was a bit stunned by Ken's denial, but she snapped back quickly.

"Nope."

"I do!"

"No, you don't."

"I do! I do!"

"You do."

"I don-- I mean I do!"

"Pfft. Almost fell for it." Ken chuckled, amused that his trick had almost worked. "Anyways, you don't."

"That's not true! I do~! I do, I do, I do, I do, I do!!!" Kyouka exclaimed, looking like a child throwing a tantrum.

And just like that, the two siblings devolved into a childish back-and-forth again. However, this didn't continue as long as the last one.

"If you loved me... why did you leave me alone?" Ken asked.

"...Wh-what do you mean..."

"When that rat showed up, you just fainted. Leaving me all alone to deal with it." Ken said accusatorily.

"I-I-I didn't mea--"

"And even after that." Ken interrupted. "When I was in the hospital, you left me all alone all the time. Having fun outside, going to school, and hanging out with friends."

"..."

Ken stared coldly at Kyouka. "And even when I died. You weren't there, Kyouka."

"N-no..."

"YOU WEREN'T THERE!!" Ken screamed.

"...!" Kyouka couldn't think of anything to say. She just accepted her big brother's accusations with her head down while trembling, tears falling from her eyes.

"Even though I never let you be alone when I wasn't sick. Even when I was always there for you, you left me all alone!"

"..."

"I never left you alone. That's because I love you, Kyouka."

"I-I kno--"

"Then why?" Ken cut Kyouka off again, "Why, after wrecking everything, did you leave me when I needed you? After ruining my life, you just left me to die by myself!"

"I d-didn't m-mea--"

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!! YOU WEREN'T THERE FOR ME, KYOUKA!!!" Ken started shrieking hysterically, blaming Kyouka for everything.

"...!...!!...!!!" Kyouka just took it all. She couldn't fault Ken for blaming her. She also thought everything was ultimately caused by her. She wept, with her head down while listening to Ken's accusations.

"..." Ken stopped and brought his face close to Kyouka again. Then he said, in a voice that could freeze hell itself, "I hate you."

"N-no..."

"I HATE YOU, KYOUKA!!!"

"NO! Please d-don't say th--"

"YOU RUINED MY LIFE, AND KILLED ME! THEN YOU LEFT ME!! I HATE YOU!!!"

"NO!"

"I HATE YOU THE MOST!!!"

"N--"

 

*****

 

"NO!" Kyouka screamed as she sat up from bed, cold sweat covering her entire body.

'A dream... No, a nightmare I guess...' Kyouka mused. Her heart was still beating a mile a minute, and her breathing was as ragged as if she'd just run a marathon. She started calming down once she realized it was a dream. 'That asshole...' Kyouka cussed inwardly at the bastard she talked to in her nightmare.

She didn't even consider the fucktard in the dream to be an alternate version of Ken. It would be too much of an insult to him. Her brother would never just break down into hysterics like that, he was always calm and composed. Even seven months ago, when Ken suffered a fit on their way back from outside the hospital, he was calm enough to tell Kyouka not to blame herself. Even though he had to endure so much pain, he still had the presence of mind to set Kyouka's mind at ease. In comparison, the bastard in the dream was so emotionally unstable. They were nothing alike.

Now that Kyouka was fully awake, she began to notice various things that the bastard said, or rather, the things that that bastard said that were illogical. First of all, Ken had already repeatedly told her that he didn't blame her for anything. Second, anytime she spent too much time with Ken in his hospital room, he himself would kick her out, saying that she had to live her life. And lastly, Ken obviously loved her to death. That was a fact.

That said, discovering the various illogical things in the dream didn't stop her from being shaken up by it. She knew that Ken really didn't blame her for anything, but that didn't stop her from blaming herself. In the back of her mind, she really did feel guilty about everything. And the nightmare had repeatedly picked at her emotional scab, causing her heart to feel like it was being pierced by needles.

"Ugh..." Kyouka curled up under her bed's comforter. Any motivation to do anything after that nightmare disappeared along with her drowsiness. She closed her eyes shut, trying to think of happy thoughts. Cats. The Color Purple. Cute girls with glasses. Christmas. Hot women with glasses. Halloween. Anime. Manga. Web novels. The book she was writing. She was really happy when her big broth--

'Big brother...' Kyouka's happy thoughts were interrupted by thoughts of her big brother. Normally, thinking about her big brother would make her happy too, but ever since about a month ago, it only brought her pain and guilt. Kyouka popped her head out from under the blankets and looked at the computer in her room. It was currently turned on since she had never turned it off since last night. Or the night before that. Or the night before.

Her beloved big brother had been found dead on the couch in his room about a month ago. The maids had apparently come in to see if he was awake and whether he would like to have lunch and found his corpse sitting on the sofa instead. The laptop was still recording, and there was a note beside it, telling whoever came into the room first, to end the recording and send it to Kyouka. The maids had complied, despite their panic. The maids had naturally told Kyouka that Ken had likely sent her a message before he died, but nearly a month has passed, and she still hasn't watched it yet.

*Knock* *Knock*

Kyouka was interrupted from her thoughts by someone knocking on her door.

"Young miss, it is me. May I come in?" An aged male voice called out from the other side of the door.

"...Hanzo... You can come in." Kyouka said. She had immediately recognized the voice's owner.

"Then please excuse me." Hanzo called out, then opened the door and came inside. "Young miss, have you eaten?"

"... No. Not yet." Kyouka replied. "You don't have to prepare anything. I can take care of myself.

"I see." Hanzo nodded. He then hesitantly asked, "Have you watched what the young master sent you?"

"..." Kyouka, seemingly expecting the question, kept her face calm while replying, "Not yet."

"... I see." Hanzo nodded understandingly. "You should watch it when you are prepared."

"... You've said that every time these past few days, but what exactly do you mean? Prepared for what?" Kyouka asked, with a hint of impatience.

Hanzo had been coming over to make sure she was okay ever since the funeral for Ken. Hanzo had been the one to handle almost everything, from the people who were invited, to what Ken wanted to do with his things, and how he wanted his body to be taken care of. Hanzo had been the one to carry out Ken's will. Afterward, he'd apparently done some other stuff that Kyouka wasn't very clear of, then retired as a butler. Hanzo was just an old man now, no longer a servant of the Kagami household. And yet Hanzo had come to Kyouka's hidden apartment, which she stayed in when she wanted to be alone, and cleaned up after her and cooked for her from time to time. Kyouka had just accepted the unwanted kindness, she knew Hanzo was an important person to her big brother, so she didn't want to be on bad terms with him if she rudely kicked him out. Every time Hanzo came, he would ask Kyouka if she had watched Ken's message yet, and every time she would say "not yet". Then Hanzo would always say the same words after. She had always wondered what they meant, but never really bothered to ask.

Today was different.

She was incredibly irritable after that crappy dream, so Hanzo's mysterious words irked her greatly. She looked at Hanzo, waiting for his answer.

"When you are ready to accept that he is gone." Hanzo said calmly.

Kyouka was shocked by Hanzo's answer, but then she scoffed. "When I'm ready to accept it? How could I possibly not accept it? I was at the funeral! I was there the whole time!!" Kyouka exclaimed, her breathing starting to turn ragged. Then she pointed at an ornate black urn, placed on an altar nearby. "And that urn has his ashes right now. His ashes. How could I have not accepted it yet? It's incredibly clear that he is in fact, quite dead!!"

Hanzo calmly beheld the agitated Kyouka, then shook his head. "Then please watch the message."

"...!" Kyouka stiffened.

"You don't want to, because it would bring a close to this whole affair. And you don't want this to end. You don't want the closure, young miss. However, it is unhealthy to be this way." Hanzo turned around and headed for the door. But he didn't forget to say something else as he left. "You need to move on with your life, young miss. You've yet to leave your room for weeks. You cannot stay like this."

"..."

"At the very least, the young master wouldn't have wanted to see you like this." Hanzo spoke heavily, closing the door as he left.

"!!" Kyouka's body trembled from the emotional blow.

'T-that was really low, you old geezer. Bringing up big brother...' Kyouka cursed Hanzo as he left. 'But... he's right. I wouldn't want him to see me like this.'

Kyouka got out of bed and sat in front of her computer. Truth be told, she didn't exactly know why she put it off for this long. But she was just strangely averse to the idea of watching it.

'Maybe I'm just scared that he'll tell me he'd been lying about not blaming me all this time. That he's hated me all along.' Kyouka mused. However, that couldn't possibly happen. She knew that her big brother was strangely good at lying, and he frequently managed to trick her too, but he was really bad at lying about certain things. Like at the time when Ken had thought she was hyperventilating due to asthma, but she was just worked up and crying, instead. You couldn't fake stuff like that. 'That dumbass definitely loves me. Facts.' Kyouka thought smugly.

Her mouse hovered over the video's play button, but she hesitated to click it. 'S-should I really do it...? Maybe I should just wait for tomorrow...'

She was just about to put it off for another day, but she saw her reflection on the screen. She looked horrible. She had been NEETing it up in her room for the past week or so. She naturally hadn't bothered to fix herself up. She hadn't even taken a shower in days. Her unkempt look on her face was even accompanied by an expression of anxiety. She idly thought about what her brother would say if he saw her now.

"You look shit. And you're being a total pussy right now. lol" Ken would likely say.

"I'm not a pussy! You dick!" She reflexively retorted to the Ken in her imagination. She clicked the play button, as if in defiance.

On the screen, a video of Ken's final moments began to play.

 

*****

 

"Ah, It's on." The Ken on the screen smiled, and nodded. "Sup' Bitch."

"Wah... This guy... starting off his video like this is really like him." Kyouka shook her head in exasperation. She couldn't stop a grin from appearing on her face.

"Haha, you're probably shaking your head in exasperation while grinning right now, thinking about how fitting the start of the video is, huh?" Ken smirked smugly.

"Wh-what the..." Kyouka was utterly shell-shocked. Ken had predicted her actions completely. 'This freak!'

"Hehe. I did this to Hanzo too, but even if I can't see your reactions, this feels really good." The Ken on the screen chuckled. Then he smiled warmly at the camera. "Anyways, unlike Hanzo, you probably held off on watching my message for a while. Like... maybe a week? If you put it off for more than a week, then you really are much more of a pussy than I initially thought. I'm ashamed." Ken shook his head in dismay. "But my sister is definitely not like that, so it's okay right?"

"Ugh..." Kyouka groaned. She couldn't tell whether Ken was being sarcastic or not. But it still stung. It had taken her a month after all.

"Well anyway, I'm sure it took you some amount of time, before watching this. So you should be aware..." Ken said, then his expression turned into one of tranquility. "That I'm dead."

"..."

"Well, we all knew it was gonna happen. But still, here it is." Ken shrugged, as if it had nothing to do with him. "Hanzo probably told you a bit, but I'm going to act like he didn't tell you anything at all, okay? Anyways, when I woke up, all the pain was gone. That would normally be a really good thing, but somehow, my intuition was telling me that I was gonna die soon. Specifically, I knew that if I fell asleep, I wouldn't be waking up again. You know how good my intuition is from experience, right?"

Kyouka bobbed her head unconsciously. She was fully aware that Ken had freakish intuition. She had always lost at hide-and-seek when they were small, always lost at Old Maid, always lost at card games. Furthermore, Ken had never been wrong about anime ships. She couldn't forget how Ken had called the Naluto x Hinaka ship before watching ten episodes. He could even correctly guess things like what color were her panties, or what color were the panties of the girl Kyouka last played around with wearing. Kyouka thought that even if Ken wasn't born wealthy, he would have won the lottery a couple of times and become rich anyways.

"Yeah, so with that said, I chose to trust my guts and try to stop myself from sleeping. I haven't slept since I woke up a few days ago. And, you can easily confirm whether my intuition was correct or not. If you're watching this from a few days into the future and I'm dead, that means I'm right." Ken puffed his chest out with pride, but then it quickly deflated and his shoulders slumped down. "This is about my death so I shouldn't be happy that I'm right..."

"..."

"So that's that. If you're watching this the day I sent it, or if you're watching this and I'm still alive. Please just stop, and treat it as a joke. If I really am dead, then please continue. lol." The Ken on the screen began chuckling to himself. "Y'know how strange the feeling of making a video while talking as if you're already dead. It's super weird. Haha"

Ken continued to chuckle for a while, but then froze, seemingly remembering something. "Oh. If you're wondering about why my eyes are a bit red..." Ken paused, thinking about something. "... Drugs... Yeah. It's because of drugs. I definitely wasn't crying just now. I was doing drugs." Ken said firmly while pointing at his swollen eyes that Kyouka had failed to notice before.

"Pfft." Kyouka couldn't help but giggle at her brother's antics. Only a crazy bastard like him would still act like this despite being minutes away from death. 'I wouldn't have noticed if you didn't point it out, dumbass.'

The Ken on the screen cleared his throat, then looked into the camera seriously. Kyouka felt like he was looking into her eyes right now. "I'm dead, Kyouka."

"!" Kyouka trembled in surprise. She naturally already knew, but being told clearly by the person himself was a strange experience.

"I'm sorry, for not letting you be by my side. I just didn't want to see your pained face as I died. It felt like I wouldn't be able to pass on peacefully... or something like that. Anyways, Sorry for being a coward." Ken apologized sincerely. He gave a deep bow, then when he sat back up again, he had a grin on his face. "Don't be too mad at me, though. Just treat it as payback for the secret you've been keeping from me for a while now."

"Wha..." Kyouka tilted her head in confusion. 'What is this bastard talking about now...'

"Pshh. You think you can hide anything from me? You wish." Ken shook his head in disapproval, disappointed that his sister underestimated him so much. "I know about the web novel you've been writing."

"!!!" Kyouka stood up in shock. Luckily, she didn't have earphones plugged in.

"Yeaaaah. Surprised? Huh?" Ken smiled smugly. He truly had a shit-eating grin at this moment. "When the hell are you gonna learn? There is a certain weight to being the elder sibling, okay? I fucking own you, alright? You can't hide shit from me, like, ever."

"Th-this bastard..." Kyouka cursed, her face, up to her ears was blushing red in embarrassment. "How the hell did he even..."

"You're wondering why or how I knew, yeah?" Ken piped up, shocking Kyouka yet again. "I have to admit, you almost successfully hid it. I wasn't actually sure until yesterday. First, a few months ago, I saw you typing at your laptop furiously from time to time. You would type on it for hours. Plus you were on vacation, so it couldn't possibly be homework or something. I knew you were up to something, but I wasn't sure what. Second, just before I fell into a coma, we chatted about a certain web novel you recommended to me. You were way too excited when I complimented it. I already thought it was fishy at this point, but I wasn't completely sure. Third, yesterday, I caught up to the latest chapter of that web novel, and lo and behold, Anita, the big titty lady that I ship with the MC, started getting it on with him. Almost to an abnormal degree. That pretty much confirmed it, since you were obviously doing that cuz I got sick, and you wanted my ship to win as a way to... I dunno. You're a weirdo, so I couldn't tell that far."

"..." Kyouka just sat there in utter shock. Her secret was just exposed mercilessly.

"Jeez. You shouldn't have done that. Now the story is a mess. You should've just made a side story or something where they get together instead of fucking up the story to force my ship to sail. Have some pride as an author, goddammit." Ken scolded seriously.

"Ghhh..." Kyouka groaned again. She couldn't believe she was being scolded for something she did for Ken by the person himself. She couldn't help but glare at the Ken on the screen with a bit of resentment.

"Well... I do appreciate it." Ken smiled warmly. "For what it's worth, thanks."

You are reading story Glimpse of Eternity at novel35.com

"..." Kyouka stared at Ken. His hair was just as gray as always, and his face was still absurdly handsome. His bright blue eyes shined beautifully, catching the light of the moonlight. Despite the lack of lighting, he seemed to have a glowing aura around him. Although the scene that could be seen on the screen was beautiful and picturesque, the light felt ominous to Kyouka.

Ken was smiling right now, but it was wholly apparent that he was quite fatigued. There were dark and heavy-looking bags under his eyes, and he didn't have the vigor he had earlier when they were playing with the children. He looked like he was about to fall over and pass out any second now.

"Anyways, now that I've asserted my dominance as the elder sibling, let's get down to talking about some serious stuff." Ken's tired face turned serious. "I'm about to die now Kyouka. And I want you to watch my final moments."

"!"

"Well, that is, If you want to." Ken said hesitantly, but his voice regained its firmness. "Well, I'm pretty sure you do. Anyways, dying isn't a switch that I just flip, so I'll have to ease into it. I have a bit of time to say some things." Ken took a deep breath, then chuckled. "Before I even started recording, I went into this thinking that I wouldn't have enough time to say everything I wanted to say, but now that I'm actually starting, I can't find the words." Ken smiled wryly.

"..." Kyouka watched Ken ruminate on his thoughts. Ken was rubbing his chin while staring into space, but then he seemingly gave up and shrugged.

"You know what? Let's just start talking about what I'm feeling right now." Ken decided. Then he looked wistfully at the moon outside his window, not visible on the screen. "The full moon is really pretty right now, Kyouka. Are you watching this while the moon is out? Or maybe, it's not a full moon yet when you're watching this. Or maybe It's not even night. Haha..." Ken chuckled. "Anyways, staring at the moon reminded me of the day you brought me out, 6 months ago. I remember thinking how comforting it was, that even after I'm gone, the sky that I was looking at, would still be the same as the one you would look at, years and years into the future."

Hearing Ken's words, Kyouka unconsciously turned her head to look at the moon visible through her own window. It was just as full as the one Ken was probably looking at. Since it had been about a month since Ken recorded the video message, the moon was full again.

'It's the same one...' Kyouka couldn't help but longingly stare at the moon.

"Ahaha... Sorry that I got a bit mushy there. I just didn't know how to start. It's surprisingly hard to come up with things to say... especially since I'm just talking by myself... Streamers must have it tough, huh..." Ken mused on the unexpected difficulty of the task he previously thought would be easy. "Anyways, since I can't really think of anything to say, let's just chat until my time's up, shall we?"

Ken took a deep breath, then smiled wryly. "It's funny, cuz when I envisioned myself on my deathbed, I didn't think my thoughts would be so complicated." Ken scratched his cheeks, feeling a bit awkward about what he was saying. "I thought, I would just be paralyzed by the fear. Or maybe staring blankly in the air while wallowing in overwhelming despair." Ken tilted his head, while seemingly examining his own thoughts. "Surprisingly, I don't feel fear nor despair. I feel a bunch of emotions right now, but not those two."

"..." Kyouka listened intently.

"That said, even without fear and despair. I don't particularly feel at peace." Ken said sorrowfully, as his expression darkened and his shoulders slumped down. "I feel an unbearable amount of regret right now."

"..."

"Wait... I guess that's not right. It's not like that regret started recently." Ken chuckled in self-deprecation. "I've been regretting things all my life."

"!!" Kyouka stiffened at Ken's words. 'He's not gonna say that he regrets savi--'

"Before you even have that thought..." Ken abruptly interrupted Kyouka's thoughts. "I don't regret saving you. At all. Period. There are no buts either. I just don't. Also, stop making this about you. This is my video message. This is about me."

"..." Kyouka was speechless at Ken's sharp words that completely hit the mark. 'Am I that easy to read...?'

"Well, if you weren't thinking what I thought you were thinking, then I apologize. Although I highly doubt that that's the case." Ken smiled smugly. "Also, to answer your question. Yes. You are easy to read. To me, at least."

"..."

Ken cleared his throat and his expression turned serious again.

"When we were young, I acted like I wasn't affected by our parents not being around much. But I actually really wanted them to like me. That's why I studied hard, tried to behave properly all the time, and did my best to get the other adults to like me. All of it was for them to pay attention to me. It didn't work but... I kept trying."

"..."

"Then, when you came along, I was really happy. You just looked really adorable, and I loved you instantly. I wanted to get our parents' attention even more so that you wouldn't have to grow up without them. Like I did. But nothing really worked. And I just kept regretting my inability to get them to love us. I even regretted being born with my appearance, since I thought looking like Mother might have displeased Father, somehow."

"..."

"But then I got confined, and they didn't even visit once. That... did it for me. I just kinda lost hope for them at that point. That's why, instead of reaching out to them, I chose to give up." Ken admitted with a pained expression.

"..."

"I regret that too. Giving up, that is." Ken said sadly. "In hindsight, I could have done better. Now, I keep thinking that if I had kept trying to connect with them, maybe by this time, we would already be getting along, like a normal family." Ken looked wistfully into the air. "I keep thinking of what could've been."

"..." Kyouka continued to just silently watch as her beloved big brother poured out all his emotions.

"Well, aside from that, I don't regret anything else. The fact that I couldn't really be the big brother I wanted to be to you, is a result of the past me being a fucking chad, saving you from that thing and stuff. It's a sad thing, but It is what it is. I regret nothing." Ken raised his nose high into the air and tapped his puffed-up chest. He was incredibly smug.

"Pfft." Watching him, Kyouka couldn't help but giggle. She resented Ken's usual habit of trying to joke around even in serious situations, but she just couldn't help laughing every time.

"Hmmm... Aside from regret, I feel..." Ken tapped his chin while pondering. "Sad. Not about my death or anything." Ken waved his hands in front of him in denial. "This guy I met earlier, said something that really struck me. He said that freedom requires strength."

"..." Kyouka stopped giggling and listened quietly again, sensing that Ken was being serious.

"It made me realize some things. This is gonna sound super edgy but... here goes." Ken sighed then said, "I realized that all suffering in this world, is caused by someone's weakness."

"..." Kyouka stayed silent, but she couldn't stop her toes from curling up. What Ken was saying was super edgy. She couldn't help but cringe a bit.

"Wow, that sounded way edgier than I thought... Anyways, think about it. People suffer because they didn't have the strength to prevent that. People who are exploited or wronged have those things happen to them because they didn't have the foresight, power, or intelligence to stop those things from happening. They didn't even have the reputation to act as a deterrent or anything. Like, if someone was known for just going apeshit and beating the crap out of anybody they don't like regardless of the consequences, would anyone just casually mess with them? Physical ability, martial technique, intelligence, wit, wealth, money, and even luck... All of these count as strength. And all suffering is caused by a lack of strength. Caused by weakness."

"..." Kyouka just stared at Ken, wondering where he was going with this.

"And my situation was caused by my weakness too. When that thing attacked, I lacked the physical ability and martial technique to deal with it without being bitten. I lacked the knowledge about it necessary to deal with it. I lacked caution. I lacked the foresight, to stop you from going off alone into the forest. And even with our family's vast fortune and other resources, I still never got better, partly because my body lacks the ability to counteract that disease. Everything. Everything was caused by my lacking. By my weakness. You may think my logic is flawed, but I really think that way."

"..."

"So, I'm not sad about my death. I'm sad that I was weak. That I still am weak." Ken said gloomily, his expression desolate. His already tired face seemed to give of the impression that he had aged a bit since a few seconds ago.

Kyouka had never seen Ken like this. In Kyouka's eyes, Ken was a Hero. He had saved her from loneliness when they were children and even saved her from that monster. As they got older, Ken was her pillar of support. Kyouka, felt safe around him, despite him being bedridden. She always felt that Ken would accept anything she did, or whatever person she became. She always admired Ken for enduring the effects of his illness for so long. And throughout all these years, she had never seen such an expression on his face before. She had seen Ken wince from pain before, but never did she see him look so... so weak and vulnerable.

"Ha..ha ha..."

Kyouka was snapped out of her musings when she heard Ken chuckling dejectedly.

"And that isn't even the part that I find the saddest part about it..." Ken said. He didn't notice the tears that had started falling from his face, as he miserably said, "The saddest part is that I'm not the only one suffering because of my weakness."

"...!"

"The entire time I was here... I had to watch everyone who visited me, look at me with pained looks on their faces." Ken admitted dispiritedly, the floodgates holding back his tears had given out.

"The servants and maids, who took care of me growing up."

"..."

"The bodyguards, who did their best to ensure my safety."

"..."

"The researchers who came to visit from time to time, worried about me."

"..."

"I had to watch it every time. I had to watch them hide the pain they felt from seeing me like that. That's all I could do. Watch. I mean, what could I do? Get better? I would've done that already, if I could." Ken poured out his emotions. He hadn't even tried to stop the tears, and let them fall freely, as his hands clutched his knees tightly in frustration. "So the entire time, I could only do the one thing I knew I could do. You know what I did, Kyouka?"

"..."

"I lied, Kyouka." Ken said quietly.

"..."

"I LIED!!!" Ken said loudly. His voice, heavy with the weight of his guilt and frustration, reverberated clearly in Kyouka's mind. "I lied, repeatedly. Because that was all I could do... Watch them try to conceal the anguish they felt, and ruthlessly lie to them. Tell them that I was okay. Tell them that I was fine. Tell them that they didn't need to worry... That was all I could do..."

"..."

"The chronic pain brought by my illness? I could endure that forever. Bring it on! But the pain that I felt every time I saw them hide theirs... that was unbearable. Every time, I felt a part of me just... fell away, Kyouka.

"..."

"I felt happy whenever they came, but the pain just made me feel like telling them to leave me the fuck alone."

"..."

"And that thought disgusted me. I just hated myself, Kyouka. That was what I thought after every one of their visits. You know what? Maybe the reason I don't feel sad about dying is because I think I kind of deserve it. A piece of human fucking garbage like me, who thinks like that towards the people who care about him, doesn't deserve to live."

"..."

Ken wiped his face with his hands. His reddened eyes seemingly stared directly into Kyouka's through the screen. The anguish in his expression grew even more.

"And don't get me started on what I did to you." Ken bit his lip, holding back another flood of tears, while thinking back on how much he wronged Kyouka all this time. "I told Hanzo this whole thing, where he probably wouldn't be happy hearing apologies from me, and I know you're the same. You probably don't particularly like hearing this sort of thing from me. But... You're the person I have to apologize to the most, Kyouka."

"..."

"I'm so... so sorry..."

"..."

"...The pain I caused you must've been unbearable. I'm sorry. You were the one to stay with me the most, so you had it particularly bad. I can't even describe how it felt to see you, who was so young, just try to hold back your tears as much as possible. I couldn't even tell you to leave even if I wanted to, since I knew you would just camp outside the door if I did." Ken couldn't help but smile wryly at the thought, though his face was still drenched in misery. "And I wanted you to be there too. Having my favorite person close to me helped me out a lot. Sorry for being selfish though."

"I-it isn't selfish at all..." Kyouka couldn't help but retort quietly. "idiot..."

"You being with me was the thing that made me the happiest, but it was also the thing that caused me the most agony." Ken mused forlornly. "I never felt more self-hatred than when I saw you trying to endure seeing me in pain, Kyouka. Watching the six-year-old crybaby that I loved, try her best to hold back the tears. I never knew the meaning of pain until I saw that."

"..."

"I've even been lying to you the most. I've been telling you that I'm fine and that you shouldn't worry about me. I've been telling you that you should go out and live your life, even though I wanted you to stay with me. I've been pretending, to be this great and cool big brother, that feared nothing and knew everything."

"..."

"You see, all my life, even before I got ill, I've just been Acting. Acting capable. Acting strong. When really, I'm not." Ken paused. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to say. "I'm not strong at all, Kyouka. I'm a really big coward, who gives up on things without even truly trying. I've been lying all my life, and when I finally decide to be a bit truthful, I couldn't even do it to your face. The cool and courageous big brother you thought you had, was a sham, Kyouka."

"..."

"This is who I truly am, my dear sister." Ken smiled weakly "A person who is just slightly good at seeing through people. A person whose only talent is lying, especially to people he cared about. A person who gave up on himself way sooner than you thought. Ever wondered why I never even tried to get involved with the business side of things? Because I knew it wouldn't matter. I would die anyway, why should I learn about anything. That's why I just indulged in my hobbies. I just thought to try to enjoy what little I could, before death claimed me."

"..."

"And if you think that I'm strong for being able to endure everything for thirteen years, you're wrong, Kyouka. I didn't choose to endure. Enduring was the only thing I could do!" Ken clenched his teeth in anguish, as his fingers dug into the flesh of his thighs. "Enduring. It sounds so fucking heroic doesn't it. Like some hero, fighting against the odds no matter how much he suffers, or something. But that's not what happened to me. Unlike a hero, I don't have any other choices. I can't run from the things that hurt me, since they're either an incurable disease, or people that I want to be with. There is no magic fucking sword to slay my enemies since there are no enemies. And last but not least, there isn't a 'Happy Ending' that I'm fighting for. Unlike a hero, I'm not enduring so that I can eventually win, I'm enduring so that I don't keel over. There is no end to the enduring, Kyouka. It only ends when I die."

"..."

"After twenty-three years of existence, this is who I am. A liar, a coward, and an indecisive prick, who couldn't decide whether to kill himself or not. My existence itself brought so much suffering to the people I cared about, but my parting would too. So, I just decided to endure, and see how it went. Cuz that's all I felt I could do. All while biding away my time doing absolutely fucking nothing, but indulging in indolence."

"..."

"And now, I'm finally going to die. Leaving nothing behind. Nothing but the legacy of being a useless son, a worthless brother, and an overall shitty person who lies as easily as he breathes."

"Big brother..." Kyouka gazed at Ken. After saying all that, with apparent self-loathing, all the while gripping his leg like he wanted to break it, Ken visibly deflated onto the sofa, like all his energy had been used up. He let his hands fall in place atop his legs, and his body rested on the back of the sofa. Ken just kept staring at the air in front of him, his mouth slightly agape as tears streamed down his face.

"..."

"..."

The siblings shared a long moment of silence. Ken just dispiritedly gazed off into space, while Kyouka watched him, waiting for his next words. The seconds turned into minutes, and half an hour passed just like that. Until Ken's mumbling broke the silence.

"...I'm so tired."

"...huh?" Kyouka was surprised. She had been staring at Ken in silence for the past thirty minutes, so she was shocked when Ken suddenly muttered something.

"I'm just... so tired, Kyouka." Ken admitted despondently while smiling. His expression was the very definition of lifeless, and his eyes looked like they had lost their light.

"Ah..." Kyouka felt her heart shatter, just from looking at her brother. She had always hoped that her brother would live a long life so they could be together for longer. In fact, she wished she would live longer than her, that way, she wouldn't have to live a second without him. But she had never realized what that truly entailed.

'Big brother...' Kyouka clutched her chest in pain. Her desire to be with her brother was what caused him the most pain in his life, she subconsciously knew this, but she didn't expect what staying alive for this long did to her big brother. He had suffered endless torment, throughout these thirteen years, and she wanted him to live longer than her? Won't that make him suffer more?

"I've been enduring for so long... the loneliness... the helplessness... the pain... all of it. I'm just..." Ken took a deep breath, and then seemingly sighed out his next words. "So tired."

"..."

Ken became despondent again after saying that, as if admitting to it drained him of his stamina. He stayed like that for a while, before suddenly chuckling to himself.

"It seems it lost its effects..." Ken mused forlornly. "The cocaine lasted for more than I thought it would..."

"...?" Kyouka, who had been clutching at her chest in pain while gazing at her brother, wondered what he had suddenly started talking about.

"Oh, that's right. I lied about that too. I should admit it..." Ken seemingly decided on something, He sat up with surprising vigor and then looked at the camera while smiling awkwardly. "Sorry, Kyouka. I lied about something else. It's super recent too."

"Huh?" Kyouka was shocked by the sudden shift in Ken's mood.

"Y'know how I joked around at the start of the video? About how my eyes were red at the start, and how they were like that cuz I was doing drugs? Well, I lied about the reason. My eyes were red cuz I cried while recording Hanzo's video message." Ken paused, but then grinned evilly. "But I wasn't joking about the drugs."

"...w-what... What!?" Kyouka exclaimed.

"Ahaha... I lied like that to hide the fact that I was doing them cuz I knew you'd be mad." Ken smiled while scratching his cheek guiltily. "At first, it was weed. I used it to get through the pain. It lasted a while, but I ended up getting immunity from it eventually. Although, since there are so many types of that thing, it lasted for really long. Haha, good times..."

"..." As Kyouka watched her big brother stare wistfully into space, reminiscing about the times he was able to get high, she couldn't help but want to smack him.

"Haha..." After having enough of going down memory lane, Ken looked back into the camera, and Kyouka felt that strange feeling, as if he was really looking into her eyes. "Don't worry, I'm taking them medicinally or something... As for the cocaine, I needed it to stay awake, since I thought I was gonna pass out. Anyways, our little chat got a bit too heavy, so I wanted to lighten things up a bit. Did it work? Is the pain gone, and the tears dry?"

"What..." Kyouka was shocked. She only now realized that the pain in her heart had subsided. 'Did he...?'

"Don't get me wrong. I didn't lie about anything in this video, except for the aforementioned thing at the beginning." Ken chuckled, then he smiled warmly. "I just wanted you to listen clearly to what I'm about to say now... cuz it's really important."

"..." Sensing the hidden gravitas in Ken's words. Kyouka sat up a bit straighter and focused her attention on Ken.

"You paying attention? Good girl. Alright. The whole chat up to now was unplanned, what I'm about to say was something I decided a long time ago." Ken took a deep breath then said, "I'm going to lay a curse on you, Kyouka."

"What..." Kyouka tilted her head. 'What is this bastard saying now...?'

"I'm not fucking around here, okay?" Ken smiled wryly, trying his best to assure his sister, who he knew was likely cursing him in her mind due to confusion. "Kyouka, I'm doomed to not leave anything substantial in this world. Just memories of my masked persona in the hearts of all that I've met. Only you know who I truly am as a person."

"Ah..." Kyouka covered her mouth in shock. She had just realized that she was likely the only one who knew the real Ken.

"And well... I don't particularly want to leave anything substantial. And I'm okay with everyone else other than you remembering me that way." Ken confessed while smiling awkwardly. "What I do want, is for you to be happy, even after I'm gone."

"!" Kyouka stiffened in surprise.

"This is what I wanted for Hanzo, too." Ken smiled brightly, as if he was remembering a happy memory. "I want the people I care about to somehow be happy after I'm gone. I want them to be successful in their endeavors. I want them to succeed in whatever dreams they want to fulfill."

"..."

"But I want to be extra sure, with you. That's what the curse is about." Ken grinned mischievously. "I know you're a really emotional person, and I know you love me lots. So if I word it correctly, I'm sure you'd do anything I say. So here goes..."

"..." Kyouka waited with bated breath, she wondered how Ken was going to place a curse on her or something.

"I, Kagami Ken." Ken started saying in a feigned serious voice, accompanied by his signature theatrics.

"..."

"The beloved big brother of Kagami Kyouka."

"Pffft..." Kyouka couldn't help but giggle.

"Am Dead."

"!!" Kyouka abruptly stopped giggling.

"And my last desire before I leave the mortal plane, is that she obtains happiness and success." Ken smiled warmly, love and affection filling his gaze. "I have infinite trust that my sister has the ability to become successful. But I fear that she will hold herself back. I fear that she will restrain herself, and prevent herself from obtaining some of the things that she wants. I want her to live freely, while not hiding her sexual orientation from our parents and loved ones. I want her to stop skulking around while writing her novel, and actually write it with pride. I want her to do whatever the fuck she wants to do, as long as it's not against the law, and not an overly bitchy thing to do. It's okay if it's a little bitchy, though. She's the prettiest girl in the world, so she deserves it."

"Pffft... Ahahaha." Kyouka couldn't help but laugh at the last part. She smiled brightly, moved by Ken's words.

"I, who am about to die, can no longer seek my own happiness. So I place my hopes on Kagami Kyouka. That she may seek happiness for both of us."

"..." Kyouka looked at Ken quietly, ruminating on his words.

"Kyouka, this is the curse I want to place on you." Ken smiled tiredly, but brightly. He leaned back into the sofa, and said, "I'm gonna be gone now, Kyouka. Nobody is going to coddle you, and tell you everything's okay. Nobody is going to unconditionally be on your side now. Well, maybe Hanzo. But, he's gonna be following me into the afterlife soon enough, so maybe don't count on him too much. But he's reliable, and I don't doubt that he cared about us siblings greatly. That said, I ordered him to go and chase his dream, so don't keep him with you for too long."

"..."

"Hanzo has his own dreams to chase... and you have a sky to soar towards... to wreak havoc in." Ken grinned.

"..."

"So, fly, Kyouka..." Ken said, fatigue weighing down his voice "Be honest, and chase after your dreams..."

"..."

"...Become... whoever the hell... you want to be."

"..."

"Don't be like me..." Ken closed his eyes as he leaned back, a tranquil smile on his face. "Be... happy."

"..."

"That's... all I want..."

"..."

"I'm really... sleepy..."

"..."

"Goodb-- no... Goodnight, Kyouka..."

"..."

Ken didn't say anything after that. He just stayed sitting on the sofa, with his head resting on its back. His eyes closed, and a smile of tranquility on his face. The moonlight continued to shine on his body, creating a picture of a handsome young man who had seemingly fallen asleep while sitting.

Kyouka just stared quietly at Ken. No matter how many hours passed, even when the moonlight on both the screen and real-life was replaced by the rays of the dawn, she didn't let her eyes wander from the image of her beloved big brother, as if waiting for him to awaken, and tell her that everything had been a prank.

That even the funeral was a prank.

That even the burial had been a prank.

However, Ken did not get up and tell her he was joking no matter how long she waited.

Eventually, around noon, the maids eventually went in and found Ken. They were surprised that Ken was seemingly sleeping on the sofa instead of the bed. Then they found a note right next to the laptop, and a look of horror appeared on their faces after reading it. They checked his pulse and confirmed that he wasn't breathing anymore, all while shouting and screaming, alerting the guards and the hospital staff nearby. Multiple people showed up on the screen, checking her big brother's pulse just to make sure, and even trying to shake him awake, but he still didn't wake up. There was even an old doctor, who Kyouka could vaguely remember was named Dr. Murphy, who had broken down crying in front of Ken's corpse, and had to be dragged away by the other male nurses.

'Ah... he was in the funeral too.' Kyouka could roughly remember the doctor expressing his condolences to her during the funeral. Kyouka recalled answering him just like all the others. He had been one of many there, but seeing his genuine reaction on the screen, Kyouka wished she had taken the old doctor seriously and answered him sincerely. The old man obviously genuinely cared for her big brother, after all.

The two maids argued for a bit, but they eventually decided to just do as the note says. They decided to cut off the video there, and send it to Kyouka, just like their young master had intended.

The video Kyouka was watching ended with that, and Kyouka just sat there glaring at the screen as if daring it to show more footage, preferably of her big brother being alive and well. But all that stared back at her was her own reflection and a dark screen.

Eventually, Kyouka could no longer delude herself. Ken's death finally sunk in, and the dam in her eyes burst, letting the tears flow down her face in waves.

"...goodnight, big brother." Kyouka said, just like when she was young and would sneak into Ken's bed to sleep next to him. She remembered how blissfully happy she was whenever he would agree. He always did.

Kyouka's tears did not stop falling for quite a while.

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