Chapter 59: Chapter 57

  x_s1byl_x is trying to resurrect you. Do you accept?
   <Yes>

“...”
“...”
“...”

A grand flash of light lit the darkened arena, as a holy choir welcomed the return of the once-fallen Crusader. Despite the beautiful scene, the three party members who were on voice comms remained silent, at a loss for words to say.

“Yuu… when there’s a big red area, you should move, alright?”
“I know that! It was in the damn tutorial!”
“My kin… are you perhaps a Bob fan? The title is an esteemed one.”
“No, damn it! Let’s move on already!”

   XiaoFeng pats CherishedPrawn44 on the back gently.

“I don’t need this!!”

Even though they weren’t part of the conversation, the rogue seemed to have picked up clues simply from the motionless party members crowded around the reborn tank. Their act of kindness only served to damage Yuuji more, and he stormed ahead into the next part of the dungeon in frustration.

The rocky cave had begun to transform into a den of scrappy wooden walls. The attention to detail was impeccable, as when Yuuji got close to the roughly shorn logs they were damp from the nearby ocean spray and showed signs of rotting. His character’s heavy footsteps made the boards beneath his feet creak worryingly, though he decided to ignore it as the others moved alongside him without concern.

After his embarrassing death, he once again looked over the skills available for his class. He had been using them frequently on his journey to this point, and while he likely didn’t need to stress too much about perfection with such strong party members, being able to focus on the abilities he was using would at least stop him from getting so distracted again.

   Shoalbeard Ranger: ‘Old ‘em still! I be throwin’ a firebomb!

‘Step left. Shield Bash. Change target. Commanding Shout. Step back. Fierce Stomp.’

It was kind of the enemies to call out their next moves, but even without the prompts, Yuuji was beginning to get the hang of things. There was a certain flow to the combat, and even with the limited skills he had, everything played a part in the rotation he began to develop.

It wasn’t long before the next group fell, and the party was victorious once more. It was the biggest crowd they had taken on simultaneously to this point, but they mowed through them without a care in the world, and they were only getting faster and more efficient.

   XiaoFeng claps for CherishedPrawn44.

“Kukuku. My kin, it appears you are growing stronger.”
“Mmm~! Yuu, I knew you could do it!”
“Thanks. This is actually pretty fun - I can see why you enjoy it so much.”

He never disliked the idea of video games; he just hadn’t been able to experience them properly before this point. Even now, he was largely drawn in as it was an opportunity to spend more time with Ji-Hye doing something she enjoyed, but as his skills improved, he was getting excited about the thought of what skill he would unlock next.

There was some thrill in being thrown into back-to-back fights alongside his friends. Of course, it wouldn’t get his blood pumping anywhere near as much as the real deal, but there were no stakes here, so he could fully enjoy it for what it was. Spirits were mystical enough already, but launching out shockwaves from his feet as fireballs burst around him had a charm of its own.

It wasn’t long before they reached a large, rusted metal door which unsubtly showed a message stating that all party members must be present before it could be opened.

“I guess this is the next boss?”
“Bleh! Gross thing.”
“Humu. It is indeed repulsive to look upon.”

Both of his party members had less than favourable opinions of whatever was beyond the door, unlike their shared love of Bob minutes earlier. As the friendly rogue emoted with their favourite thumbs-up to signal they were ready, Yuuji pushed open the doors to face their next opponent.

   <Swampy: Lvl 24>
   (Shoalbeard Pirates Mascot)

“...Why do pirates need a mascot?”

The giant plates of metal screeched as they slid away to reveal a large bowl-shaped cavern, in the middle of which sat a vile mound of orange-coloured goo. The sludge undulated, showering the nearby ground with glowing muck that could kill any appetite. Floating in the middle of the wobbling mass were two wide white circles which took the place of eyes, though the way they slid across the surface of the creature was discomforting.

The others had chosen not to respond to Yuuji’s question, and instead, they readied their weapons. They likely planned to eliminate the thing as fast as possible, rather than being concerned with why exactly pirates cared to have a mascot in the first place - or why their mascot was a lump of slime.

   [CherishedPrawn44]: I’m starting.

He rushed towards the boss, making use of his engagement skill to dash at an inhuman pace. His sword made a sickening squelch as it contacted the enemy, and even though the damage he usually produced wasn’t anything impressive, it was noticeably lower than normal.

“I’m guessing you’re supposed to use magic on this thing?”
“Mmm! Claire will take care of it!”
“...”

The girl herself was oddly silent, and her character stood idle in the doorway to the room. As a mage, keeping her distance was preferable, but from her current position she was too far away to be able to cast any effective spells. 

“This damn slime-! Oi Claire, you with us!?”

Yuuji’s combat abilities were being swallowed up one by one with nothing more than a wet squish and a jiggle. The rogue wasn’t faring much better, and other than the occasional glowing slash they threw out from their blades, their damage was minimal.

To make matters worse, the goop on the ground stuck to the bottom of their feet, causing the melee attackers to move incredibly slowly. Unlike the last boss, there wasn’t a sign of any severely punishing attacks, but it was frustrating to be stuck in place helplessly pummelling a revolting blob to no end.

“...Kukuku. It’s finished. Prepare yourselves!”
“Hurry it up already!”

Yuuji didn’t much care for where she’d been; only that she ended the fight quickly.

   [VERN1CH7UNG]: O’ great, raging inferno that burns deep within! Lend me thine strength, so I may reduce this mass of filth to smouldering ashes that shall never forget the name of Vernichtung - Eternal Sage of the E
   [VERN1CH7UNG]: ndless Flame!
   VERN1CH7UNG roars at Swampy.
   [VERN1CH7UNG]: Take this! Scorching Fire of the Underworld!!

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Text boxes filled the chat with lightning speed, only to herald the arrival of a relatively tame explosion that looked identical to the Fireball: II she had been using the entire time.

“NO! Character limit!”
“Ahh~ Claire, I told you you should check before you save your macro~.”
“What the hell…”

The performance may have been bizarre, but the damage was massive, and half of Swampy’s health bar disappeared in an instant. Rather than being pleased with her impressive attack, Claire seemed distraught that the speech she’d been writing hadn’t entirely gone to plan, and even though Yuuji hadn’t got a clue what a ‘macro’ was he prayed she’d finish messing around and end the fight quickly.

“Just attack it again already!”
“Uuu…”

Through her sulking, she did as she was asked, and with an uncomfortable gurgle, the giant sentient blob of sludge finally slumped over in defeat. Thankfully, Yuuji managed to escape the fight without earning the title of ‘Swampy’s Best Friend’, which would have haunted him no end.

   XiaoFeng cheers joyously.
   [CherishedPrawn44]: I appreciate your help, XiaoFeng.

“Humu! My kin, was it not I who dealt the killing blow!?”
“You spent half the damn fight not doing anything!”
“Not long now~! Let’s go let’s go!”

   [x_s1byl_x]: bossbossbsosbossboss

Yuuji groaned quietly to himself, before following along with the others. Whether or not the group truly respected it, he was supposed to lead the charge, so he would have to put up with Ji-Hye’s impatience for now as they sprinted through the groups of pirate nobodies.

She certainly wasn’t wrong, as it only took a few short battles before they stood in a grand chamber unfit for such a dank, wet cave. Mountains of gold coins encircled the room, full to the brim with familiar brown treasure chests and glimmering jewels.

Sadly, they weren’t reachable, as even though she had surely tried countless times before, Ji-Hye’s stunning elf character ran in place against an invisible wall as she desperately tried to weasel her way into untold riches.

Ignoring her for now, Yuuji turned back to the centre of the room, where upon a gilded throne sat a man with a blood-red tricorn hat and eyepatch. A big bushy beard adorned his chin, and as he stood up, his silky white shirt billowed in a breeze that couldn’t possibly have reached the cave depths.

“...He’s just a regular guy!”
“Mmm. Shoalbeard is boring.”

   <Captain Shoalbeard: Lvl ??>
   (Shoalbeard Pirate Captain)

Despite his fearsome unknown level, he was for all intents and purposes an ordinary human character.

“Does he transform or something?”
“No~, he just swings his swords.”
“Do not forget about his parrot companion.”
“Mmm~! He has a pet parrot called Squawky. Squawky is cute!”
“Make Squawky the damn mascot, not the shitty slime!”

It took all of Yuuji’s strength to hold back from smashing his head into his keyboard at the insanity before him. He immediately regretted any concern he had for the developers during his fight with Bob, and agreed that Ji-Hye had been right all along - there was no use in trying to follow the logic of the story at this point.

   XiaoFeng beckons CherishedPrawn44 over.
  [CherishedPrawn44]: dont rush me1!!

“Ah. He got mad.”
“Nnn. Yuu got mad.”

   XiaoFeng bows apologetically to CherishedPrawn44.

“Now you’re making me feel bad, god damn it!”

The rogue XiaoFeng had been silently watching the three of them from midway up the stairs as they debated with each other. Unaware that Yuuji had been losing his mind, they accidentally poked a ticking time bomb and paid the price.

Yuuji clicked his tongue and made a note to apologise after the fight was over, and charged in.

******

“He really was a pushover… they should have made one of the other bosses the captain.”

The fearsome Captain Shoalbeard went out with a whimper, as he collapsed to the ground dramatically. Yuuji hadn’t been paying attention to the character’s dialogue whatsoever during the fight, but as he repeatedly slammed the man’s face with a giant metal shield while XiaoFeng sliced at his back, it felt more like a violent mugging than a heroic battle against a dread pirate.

   [CherishedPrawn44]: I am sorry for my outburst earlier.
   [CherishedPrawn44]: I hope to play with you again sometime.
   XiaoFeng gives CherishedPrawn44 a thumbs up.

Recalling the steps Ji-Hye had given him when he first began playing the game, Yuuji sent over a friend request to their companion, thankful that they seemed to be so gracious in sticking with the party’s shenanigans.

“...They’re definitely regretting grouping with us.”
“No way~! XiaoFeng loves us! They’re just quiet!”
“Kukuku. They are an excellent handservant of Vernichtung. In the time of Armageddon, they shall be safe by my side.”
“Right, right. Anyway, where do I go now? What do I press?...”

As the three of them said their goodbyes and each disappeared from the throne room, the rogue XiaoFeng was left alone to their thoughts. They quietly re-opened their Friends list to see the familiar names of their party members who just departed, and a smile crept across the face of the person sitting behind the keyboard.

They stretched deeply and rose from their chair, logging their character out from the game. Every time they played with their friends it was a riot, and even though they couldn’t hear the voice comms from their party members, they could practically tell what words had been said. Dragondeep Online was a great hobby for them, and the life they got to live through the rogue XiaoFeng was an interesting one.

Wang Bao chuckled to himself as he turned off his computer, and looked forward to seeing his classmates in person again tomorrow.

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