Golden Solitude: A Tale Of War & Love

Chapter 29: Chapter 16: Identity.


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Did he just say that he could see my... memories? Does that mean... he’s able to see things even I can’t? Then... He knows my name..? I should ask... 

 

[Otherworlder. Calm down.]

 

It was then that I was brought back to my senses. I can’t ask Vira for that favor. God only knows what I’ve done in that life. I don’t want him to see something that might hurt him... Why am I such an idiot?

 

Honestly, what does it even matter? My past life’s the past. It’s time that I stop looking into it. 


 

Soon, done with the day, I was just lying on the bed. And I just stared at the roof and thought about my entire life. Honestly... Who would’ve thought that Vira was still in this body even when we were young... Not to mention the sage who was in the tree. Saruva... Grandpa... So many people. All I’ve only met because of this life. Makes me wonder... is this life my own? Even though I know that I said that I’ll make sure that Vira lives happily... 

 

And suddenly, Stella got on the bed and sat next to me. I sat up and asked, “What is it, Stella?”

 

Then Stella looked a bit confused, she seemed a bit fidgety, looking around, she then turned to me and said, “Vira... I...”

 

She stopped for a moment and took a breath, “know that you’re three people!”

 

What did she just... say? 

 

“Vira..?”

 

“U-uh what? C-can you repeat that?”

 

“I.. know that you’re three different people, Vira.”

 

“Uh... I.. uhm... uh..”

 

[What do we say..?]

 

[I’m not sure otherworlder... To be honest, I don’t think we should accept this claim.]

 

[Uncle! We should tell her the truth!]

 

I didn’t know what to do. Of course we could trust Stella, and it wasn’t as though she was guessing. She seemed sure. But this could only bring more bad than good. So then what do I do..? This comes down to me in the end... I... want to know how. I can’t lose my calm. I must always know what happened. 

 

That’s how I understood what I couldn’t.

 

“How do you know Stella? And can you promise me not to say this to anyone?”

 

“I promise... And I know because I can see you as yellow...”

 

“What?”

 

“Mhm. Around you, there’s yellow.”

 

[Vira, switch with me.]

 

[Okay uncle!]

 

“Now it’s red.”

 

[Sage switch with Vira.]

 

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[Tch, this is such a bother.]

 

Nonetheless he did switch with Vira, and then Stella said, “Now it’s green.”

 

I switched back and then asked, “So you see a color surrounding us?”

 

“Well... It’s uhm... Mana. I can see the mana of different people, and whenever you guys are different, your mana changes,” so different people have different mana? That does explain a lot of things... But how far does this go... I’m not sure.

 

“Which is why you arrived at the conclusion that there must be different people within us.”

 

“Mhm! Yep!”

 

“I see... Are you not scared..?” I would certainly be scared if I had discovered that there are multiple people in one person. I mean that’s not normal is it? 

 

“Nope! You guys have always been good to me!” She didn’t have a hint of doubt on her face.

 

“That’s not a good reason y’know? But... I’m fine with it,” I ruffled her hair. Afterall there’s no kid who’ll take something like this in this way. 

 

“What do I call you..?” she asked.

 

“Well... I don’t have a name but I guess you can call me Uncle? That’s what Vira calls me anyway.”

 

She looked visibly confused, and so I explained a bit more.

 

“Uhm, I’m not sure exactly how old I am, but I’m definitely older than dad...”

 

And then Vira took over, “And I’m vira! I’m two years older than you!”

 

[Sage... Come on...]

 

[Ugh... Fine!]

 

“And you can call me whatever you want. I’m older than any of the young’uns here. And I warred against the entire continent little girl.”

 

“Ah! Since you teach me how to use the sword, I’ll call you Master!”

 

Goddammit...”

 

Stella truly seemed excited about the truth we had shared to her. Perhaps she found it interesting, or perhaps it was because she finally received an explanation of what she saw. I’ll never know. 

 

That day, we shared with her the tales of our life. Truly the most mundane and blandest life, but she was happy listening to them. All of us talked so much that we forgot to eat dinner. And eventually she slept. Putting a blanket over her, I sat outside home, looking up at the night stars. Truly I couldn’t have had a better second life. There is nothing I could ask for. 

 

Finally it made sense to me why she didn’t question how we each talked and interacted with her. It was because she already knew... But she only asked now. I wonder if it’s because she finally considers us as family.

 

Words that spurted out of my mouth without my consent, “I guess I’m just not someone who has a place...”

 

And when I got up and looked back, I saw Stella standing there. She then hugged me and said, “Uncle... No matter what... You’ve always been there for me, thank you.”

 

Maybe it was because I was taken by surprise. But her words brought tears to me, truthfully I felt like an impostor living in someone else’s body. Being recognised for who I truly am, and not just Vira. That was something I had never felt. 

 

Those words pierced my heart, and they had made me feel something I never felt before. It was pure joy.

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