Good God, Stop!

Chapter 2: CH 2


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The two characters spawned in the Wild Lush Forest map.

The greatest characteristic of this map was its vast area.

The endless tropical rain forest almost obstructed the characters’ field of vision. The mud and water on the ground were particularly realistic, which hindered mobility to a certain degree. The map was too extensive. It was so wide that the probability of encountering the opposing party was reduced greatly. It was this characteristic that made the ‘Wild Lush Forest’ one of the most avoided maps, especially for 1v1 single matches in Zone.

This time however, Little Monkey Master wanted to make things more interesting in his live broadcast so the process of selecting maps was done randomly. As for Lin Xiao, he was too familiar with all the maps and didn’t pay much attention. Instead, he focused his attention on consciously going through his equipment collection during the pre-match phase, not sparing more than a brief glance at the screen. Almost all the maps he clicked on were random too.

Thus causing the map, Wild Lush Forest, to become the last fish left in the net. It was a rare sight to the viewers.

At first, everyone had an interest in this rarely displayed map. However, whatever remaining curiosity they had vanished completely after seeing Summoner on screen called Chef Lu 1, go back and forth as if playing a game of cat and mouse. After going around the jungle for a few laps, the trolling army completely broke loose—

“Unscrupulous anchor makes millions per month by walking around a map live!”

“It is important for an anchor to have a sense of direction.”

“You’re only halfway through Long March2 by eight hundred miles. Monkey Master, you must keep up. Red Yan’an3 is ahead!”

“This must behistory’s most boring game of hide and seek, how long till the end of the match? Bets anyone?! Make your bets!”

“I bet an hour!”

“I bet two hours!”

“What do you know ah, I bet that after three hours both will make first contact!”

***

Little Monkey Master’s hands tapped heavily on the table, after thoroughly reminding himself of how expensive his electronic devices were, he calmly held back the urge to flip the table. So with a face full of distress he turned towards the camera and complained tearfully: “Baby’s heart feels bitter, but Baby won’t say a word…”

He could only cry without tears. He knew that with his sense of direction, trying to find someone in this dense forest was close to impossible. Instead, he might as well try and take the initiative to attack, which might also help him recover some of his lost face. He typed on the general chat: “Brother, a real man doesn’t hide, man up and face me directly!”

Lin Xiao responded: “Got lost?”

Little Monkey Master replied with a string of ellipses. All the blood he had been holding back finally sprayed out. Got lost? Are you psychic? So you can read minds, huh?

Lin Xiao seemed to be considerate this time: “This map is too big, getting lost when you’re unfamiliar with it is normal. Send me your coordinates, I’ll come to you.”

“…” Little Monkey Master thought for a while, and in the end gave his coordinates, “(78, -168).”

Lin Xiao responded back simply: “Coming.”

Little Monkey Master silently ignored the boos coming from the barrage once again. He turned his head at a forty-five degree angle while staring at the ceiling, the corner of his eyes becoming moist. For some unknown reason he began remembering the time he went by himself to the Imperial Capital. While trying to find his way around, he would head in the opposite direction of where he wanted to go and became lost countless times. It was such a tragic experience.

Adhering to the principle of being vigilant when away from home, the Little Monkey Master, having finished reporting his coordinates, obviously wouldn’t sit around and wait for the other party to come knocking at his door. Instead, with nimble movements he found a small hiding spot near a particular tree.

While using the geographical advantages of the tropical rain forest to cover Chef Lu from plain view, he began teaching battle tactics on the live broadcast. “As everyone has seen, during a battle depending on the map, one must first find its advantages. Just like this Wild Lush Forest map, its complex terrain is its advantage. When an opponent asks, cough, like just now, ahem when he induces you to give him your coordinates, please don’t expect him to walk straight towards you and face you with honor. In order to prevent the other from launching a sneak attack, we need to set up an ambush first and find an opportunity to disrupt the other’s evil… uh… schemes?”

Before his words could fall, in front of millions of viewers, Little Monkey Master, with tears hanging from his eyes faced the camera, his big mouth had already brought two face-slaps upon himself.

I said he would sneak attack! I said I’d try to trick the schemer! Brother, who the hell are you to walk across the path straightforwardly? Huh?! If you don’t know how to duel go back and PvE, don’t come and PvP up the ladder like you’re trying to find a sense of existence. Wu wu… my face hurts… He had no energy left to look at the audience’s comments.

Lin Xiao arrived at the coordinates but when he saw no one there, he’d already understood what had happened.

Using one hand to support his chin on the table, the corner of his lips lazily curled up, his other hand leisurely tapping on the keyboard. Very quickly, he typed: “Bro, don’t be afraid ah, I won’t eat you.”

How could these lines from the soft and adorable Little Red Riding Hood give the feeling as if they were coming from the Big Bad Wolf instead? Imagining this, Little Monkey Master couldn’t help but tremble. He had been a broadcaster for many years, so of course he would not be incited by a few provocative words. He pulled himself together and began to cast his first summon, Green Mushroom4

Under Chef Lu’s control, a green mushroom-shaped summoned beast that almost camouflaged itself to its surroundings, began swaying back and forth as it made its way slowly through the dense forest towards Little Red Riding Hood.

Adorable Ghost clearly didn’t notice the incoming danger until after the Green Mushroom bit into her, causing a small portion of her HP bar to decrease. Despite the first strike, the Green Mushroom was wiped out in a matter of seconds by the time she raised her weapon. A stunning loss.

“As you can see, the Green Mushroom I just used is a basic summon, it has a blood-sucking skill. Although the HP it absorbs is little, it still can restore whatever percentage of HP it absorbed to its Summoner. Also, as everyone has seen, this low-level summon by itself is also very weak, so it can easily be killed by the opponent. However, the corresponding skill points it gives are not much nor is it an excessive skill. For Summoners, it could be said that it is an indispensable baby.”

He already had some understanding about his opponent’s hand speed, although Green Mushroom died much faster than expected, Monkey Master didn’t pay it much heed. Almost the instant the Green Mushroom died, he quickly followed up with the next summon, Ice Dryad5.

Compared to the soft Green Mushroom, the Ice Dryad rushed over baring its fangs and brandishing its claws, directly releasing its power, freezing Adorable Ghost in place.

Little Monkey Master’s hand speed soared, and he instantly summoned a Sticky Slime.6. He deliberately controlled it to rush forward going to the left with a slight detour, then having it quickly pounce over to his opponent’s side. Under this vicious attack, the opponent’s HP began decreasing once again.

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“That roundabout method I just implemented is a strategy a lot of Summoners like to use. After all, Summoners belong to the long range class, and the summoned beasts are this class’ ultimate defensive barriers. A sharp Summoner should always keep renewing their summons as often as they can, keeping the opponent constantly disrupted and with no way to determine your own exact location. As everyone can see, by now the opponent’s Ghost Priest has almost half her HP bar left, while our Chef Lu still has full HP.”

Having said that, Little Monkey Master could not help but strike a handsome pose and smiled charmingly towards the camera, “This way you can sink a ship with the impact from the waves of a torpedo.”

Upon hearing the sound of thunder, Little Monkey Master was suddenly in a good mood. Excellent. Seeing that all the summons he had just thrown were wiped out clean, on one hand he made commentaries, while on the other he continued reading the comments. After all, he too was a veteran in the Second Division Ladder. Although he himself wasn’t a Summoner player, he could easily play as one, as such he didn’t reveal the slightest panicked look.

However, as he continued casting summon after summon, his expression became increasingly ugly.

In spite of the opponent’s HP continuously decreasing, he had the strange feeling that the rate at which it declined became increasingly slower. The strange point to note was that the skills he was using in comparison to the earlier ones were of higher caliber and thus should have incurred more damage. 

The anchor was of course surprised. Such a situation clearly was very weird. The audience at the other end of the screen could also see the situation so clearly that they secretly spat on the anchor in their hearts. So many summons were thrown, and the results? For half a day not only did they not kill the opponent but rather were killed one by one. Are we still playing Zone? Shouldn’t this game be named Plants vs. Zombies instead?!

The doubts in Little Monkey Master’s heart became more and more, and he decided to increase his battle speed, but found the summon skills he usually used on a daily basis had stopped working.

What was going on? A BUG?! He looked down and saw the icon on the skill bar had paled. He checked his mana, but there still was half left. He frowned, suddenly a strong sense of crisis rose deep from within him. Only one other possibility came to his mind, the idea making his whole person seem to completely freeze. If a Summoner couldn’t continue to release summons, there were only two possibilities. First, there was not enough mana. Second, the number of summons had already reached seven and hence the player couldn’t continue summoning. It was most likely the second case for him.

Unconsciously, his rhythm had already become so chaotic that his summons had already maxed out without him realizing.

Although he had been using his summoning skills non-stop, he clearly hadn’t made any slip ups while controlling the beasts to attack. The several ‘Unable to Attack’ prompts before made him subconsciously think that the summons were on the verge of dying, yet that didn’t seem to be the case now.

After so long, the bunch of summoned beasts on the field were all still alive, while that Ghost Priest was no longer losing HP…

Hold up, Ghost Priest?!

A thought flashed through Little Monkey Master’s mind, and he wanted to pull apart the leaves that blocked his view so he could view the situation outside. However, just as he stepped outside, a person’s silhouette flashed in front of him.

Seeing the whirling club that came right towards his face, his body slipped in front of the computer, directly falling from the chair, having lost his centre of gravity. The entire live broadcast room heard him swear straight from the depths of his heart: “Fuck your mother!”

He was hiding so well and also had his summoning beasts make a detour, how did this ghost priest find his hiding place?!

Despite everything, what made him have the impulse to go on a rampage was when he saw his summoned beast that was steadily controlled in the distance. He instantly had his thoughts confirmed. This move was so dirty, such an underhanded trick!

Ghost Priests had three main functions, they could cast blood-draw magic, crowd control curses, and supplementary three-dimensional displacing spells. In 1v1 Ladder duels, due to the latter of the two being suitable for support roles and the lack of explosive damage it gave off, a burst output greatly full of blood magic was almost the only option left. Since his opponent could keep his seven summons sealed and blocked in an endless-loop completely by himself, it was more than enough for him to be sure that the other person had mainly picked the curse branch on his skill tree.

As for the curse ghost’s pitiful damage skills? Fear of ending up dead during the course of the 1v1? It didn’t matter. When the cudgel 7 simply came swinging right on top of his head, it was enough to explain everything, this was a physical weapon that could deal damage when striking!

Had Little Monkey Master known from the beginning that the opponent was cursed, or that he would be playing more of a high-end match rather than a fun teaching one, perhaps if he’d controlled the rhythm and number of his summoning beasts then he would not have fallen into such a position. One where he was unable to use his skills and left with no other choice than to turn tail and flee. Such an embarrassing scene.

However, the situation had already become one-sided.

It wasn’t only Little Monkey Master that couldn’t help but go wild, watching the Ghost Priest personally wield a staff, then continuously strike over and over again leaving them half dead. A dead silence fell in the streaming room, everyone’s minds had already grown chaotic. Using curses during a duel was fine as the Ghost Priest was in the spell-casting class, but was it really appropriate for you to have a staff that deals physical damage as the main weapon? Ghost Priests can still be played like this?!

Lin Xiao couldn’t feel the more than thousands of millions of galloping Grass Mud Horses 8from the other end of the screen, so he swiped his staff steadily and completely emptied SummonerChef Lu‘s HP bar to the last drop at once.

[System] First Blood!

The author has something to say: 

The 1V1 match is determined by the first to win two drops of blood, that is to say, the face off is not over yet! Little Monkey Master don’t cry, stand up and keep going!

T/n : Little Monkey Master … One should always know when to walk away but in this case know when to run… (^‿^。)

Chef Lu – Little Monkey Master’s ID. (Just as Adorable Ghost is the player ID for Lin Xiao’s Ghost Priest)

Long March – An event that took place between (October 1934 – October 1936). It was a military retreat undertaken by the Red Army of the Communist Party of China, to evade the pursuit of the Kuomintang army. There was not one Long March, but a series of marches, as various Communist armies in the south escaped to the north and west.

Red Yan’an – ‘According to google’ Yan’an was near the endpoint of the Long March, and became the center of the Chinese Communist revolution from 1936 to 1948. Chinese communists celebrate Yan’an as the birthplace of the revolution.

I think it would be looking something like this but uhh green….

[4] Million grass mud horses – The ‘Grass-Mud Horse” [Cǎonímǎ (草泥马)] is a mythical creature whose name in Chinese sounds like “fuck your mother” [cào nǐ mā (肏你妈)].

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