Chapter 40: CH 40

It smelled pleasant, like flowers.

What came to mind was the image of my parents chatting while watching a silly variety show in the not-so-large living room.

When I was there, I always got praised by my father and mother whenever I reported that I got good marks in the school test.

To me, that was a normal life.

And the very fiery night when it all crumbled.

In the living, I was all alone. I think I was watching the variety show the three of us watched together in the distant past.

Hearing the cheerful voices of the entertainers and celebrities who looked excited about the annual event, I remember thinking in those times, “This looks interesting.”

But to be honest, I didn’t find it interesting, and I kept being attacked by vague doubts. I remember asking myself questions about what I was even trying to achieve at that time.

And starting the next day, I was already leading a normal life again.

It made me think about whether I was being ungrateful or if I even had anything called a heart.

But now that I think about it, I feel like that reaction was just an excuse to escape from that sudden reality.

“You’re changed, Haru.”

It was the first thing Masaya told me when I entered high school.

Not having a good awareness of myself, I just tilted my head in reaction.

“Like well… No, perhaps the essence hasn’t changed at all…”

“What is it? Say it clearly.”

“… No, I’ll stop after all.”

Masaya ended the conversation there without giving me a chance to pester him with the question.

However, I think he probably wanted to point out that I wasn’t smiling heartily as I did before back then.

I didn’t realize that at the time, but now I understand.

Because after I met the existence known as Tojo Fuyuki, it was the first after a long time that I was able to laugh from the bottom of my heart.

That’s why I decided.

As long as she asks me, I’ll…

“… Haruyuki-kun?”

When my name got called, my consciousness surfaced.

What reflected in front of my blurred vision was a white ceiling.

When I squinted my eyes, and moved to the left and right to look at the surroundings, I saw a drip connected to my arms and curtains around the bed separating it from the surroundings.

Even while dazed, I could understand that this was a hospital room.

And then, sitting near the bed where I was lying―.

“Fuyuki…”

“I am so glad, yo–you’re finally awake.”

She looked at me with a relieved look on her face. Even tears were starting to form at the corners of her eyes.

It looked like she could cry out at any moment now.

“I am…”

The moment I tried to lift myself up, I felt a cramping pain in my head and got supported by her.

It seemed that my head got wrapped in bandages.

My right hand also got wrapped in bandages.

That’s right. Kadokura and I had――

“Do you remember what happened in that abandoned building?”

“A~h, yeah, I’m fine. I’m clear on the details.”

“… I am relieved. There seems to be a crack in your right hand, and the doctors said it would take about a month to heal completely. There was also no particular problem with the head. Although the bleeding was a little flashy, it seems it was only a superficial injury… As for why you fainted, it seems that what happened at that time caused you a lot of mental pressure.”

According to Fuyuki, it was highly likely that my mind, which had exceeded its limit, sought immediate rest after being released from the extreme state of tension I was experiencing.

At that time, I was so desperate that I didn’t even have time to realize my own situation, but my life was undoubtedly in danger. I can understand why I fainted out of a sense of relaxation and secure feeling.

“I’m sorry, it would have been ideal if we could rush at the moment Haruyuki-kun made contact with Kadokura, but his so-called hired half-assed lackeys got in the way…”

“… don’t worry about it. Rather, I’m blessed to have received your help right at that moment.”

It was a really close call.

Even now, when I remember the sight of the bat being swung right above my head, cold sweat drips down my spine.

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It’s nothing more than a miracle that I survived with only this level of injury.

“After that, how long did I sleep?”

“One night. It’s eleven o’clock now.”

“So I slept quite a bit… What about Yakumo?”

“She’s safe. There was still the mark of being tied up, but it seems it won’t be permanent. I thought she might need mental care, so I tried to arrange some, but she refused it herself.”

Although Fuyuki said that with a given-up look on her face, there was a sense of relief that I could feel.

There is a possibility that some adverse effects may arise in the future, so I might still need to be under care for a while, but it seems I was indeed just fine for now.

“For the time being, Haruyuki-kun will be in the hospital until tomorrow, so I brought a change of clothes.”

“Thank you, Fuyuki.”

“——No.”

And then suddenly, a shadow cast over Fuyuki’s expression.

When I sat up straight again and asked why, she bowed her head down to me and said, while still seated.

“I’m sorry, Haruyuki-kun. It was my fault that you got hurt unnecessarily.”

“It’s not because of Fuyuki in any—”

“No, it is my responsibility. It’s my fault that you had to go through such dangers.”

“…”

I couldn’t reply.

Perhaps I would have also done the same thing if I were in the place of Fuyuki.

The moment I understood her feelings, I lost my right to protest.

“… Then how do you want to go about this, Fuyuki?”

“…”

All I could do was listen to what Fuyuki wanted to say until the end.

She bit her lip, breathed in and squeezed out in a quivering voice.

“Ha—Haruyuki-kun… I thought it would be better if you weren’t involved with me any further.”

I couldn’t see her expression clearly as her face was still bowing, looking at the floor.

However, the way she trembled showed that the words she had just said weren’t to get taken lightly.

(… ah.)

Suddenly, I averted my gaze.

Right there were flowers in that vase.

(Yes, I remember, it was this scent.)

I know this scent.

A beautiful white flower that my parents liked―.

『In the language of flowers, it means ‘returning with happiness’.』

The meaning behind those flowers that my mother taught me back then.

Ever since I was young, I liked it.

“… Did Fuyuki bring this flower?”

“Huh? Y–yes. I like the meaning of what these flowers convey… in Europe, there are many people who prepare it to gain and give sympathy.”

“I see.”

I wonder how long it has been since I actually saw this flower called Suzuran. 

[TL notes: Suzuran is also known as ‘Lily of the Valley.’]

I feel like I’ve unconsciously kept them out of my sight ever since I said goodbye to my family for the last time.

I was afraid that it would make me remember the loss of my family once again, remembering that feeling of loneliness and hopelessness.

But when I actually saw it in front of me with my own eyes, it wasn’t anything like I thought.

I was convinced I managed to leave the shadow of my parents behind me.

Because what she brought me was a new happiness right here―.

“Fuyuki… I love you.”

Before I knew it, I conveyed my inner feelings from the bottom of my heart to Fuyuki.

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