Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating
Chapter 64 - Stay away from Laozi, thank you very much.
Edited by Divetus
When Jing Huan woke up the next day, his WeChat had already been completely inundated by all his group chats. He specifically looked at the time. It was just a few minutes after 8:00 am, so their server should have just had maintenance.
Not surprisingly, there were 99+ notifications from the guild group chat, and even his dorm group chat had 40+ notifications.
He really couldn’t understand why the two people, who lived together and couldn’t move their heads without seeing each other, would still spend all day chatting in the group chat.
Jing Huan was bleary-eyed. His eyelids opened and closed several times before he gradually woke up and slowly opened the dorm group chat.
It turned out they weren’t just randomly chatting.
All 40+ messages were screenshots from the game.
[Is Gege Big, coordinates (19, 41) Fairyland]
[Don’t Ask when I’ll Return, coordinates (129, 18) Main City]
[Falling Sweet, coordinates (99, 83) Unknown Realm]
…….
Jing Huan suddenly woke up.
Damn, this was… These coordinates were all for his guild members.
Xiao Jing ya: What are you guys doing?
Lu Wenhao: Killing people ah. The side accounts have all been arranged, just waiting for them to leave the safe area now. Why are you awake so early?
Xiao Jing ya: … There’s some store downstairs playing music, noisy.
Gao Zixiang: I envy you. We got up at half-past six.
Xiao Jing ya: ??
Gao Zixiang: We were afraid that NCH would open up the server ahead of time, and we wouldn’t be able to seize the opportunity.
Lu Wenhao: Still, the two of us had the foresight and hurried over to be at the frontline of the server queues. Other people are still queuing up hahaha!
Xiao Jing ya: Why can’t you just go in? It’s just the stream of people from two servers, it shouldn’t be necessary to queue up ba?
Lu Wenhao: Think about it. People from other servers have also all come over to gawk at the drama. Since you’re awake, why not come and help us operate an account? My wife’s account just happens to be free.
Xiao Jing ya: …No, I’ll keep sleeping, 88.
At the end of that sentence, Jing Huan immediately opened up the guild group chat.
Sure enough, there was also a sea of screenshots from the game.
Chunxiao: Today, let’s not do any dailies for the time being. Team leaders go protect our guild’s shopkeepers. If you don’t have a team, don’t leave the safe zone! Counting on everyone! Every day this week, I will pay a guild bonus as compensation!
With Chunxiao’s call to arms, everyone’s spirits lifted, and they were eager to fight.
It was a thrill to just play the game, and now that provocation had come knocking on their doors, everyone in the guild was excited beyond belief.
Jing Huan also liked provocation.
It was exciting to think about seizing territory after a server integration.
That was, if his two idiotic roommates weren’t in the enemy guild.
Thinking of the two people’s heroic words last night, Jing Huan felt a headache brewing.
Yesterday, he had considered confessing to them and telling them not to interfere with the matters between him and Yearning For. However, when he thought about everything he had done in the past few months, the thought immediately vanished with not a single trace left behind.
He had pretended to be a woman and sent over a picture of his thighs in the hot springs to a guy online. In this life, he would take this secret to his grave.
If a second person knew about it, then that person would also have to join him in a grave at the same time.
His phone vibrated a little and pulled him back to reality.
Xiang: When you wake up, come look for me.
Xiao Jing ya: I’m here! Morning Gege~~\\(≧▽≦)/~
Xiang: Morning, are you playing today?
Xiao Jing ya : I don’t know, all the news from the guild looks really scary ah T▽T … Is Gege playing?
Xiang: En.
Xiang: I promised Chunxiao to help seize the main city’s potion fields for them.
Each big map of NCH had its own potion field, and each potion field could only be picked up by one guild. The potion quality of the main city was the highest, and before the server integration, the potion field picking rights for the main city had always been in the hands of the members of Idle Pavillion.
The right to collect potions changed once every two months. Only during the selection week could the guild with the highest funds obtain the potion field in the main city. Guild funds couldn’t be directly filled up; money could only be obtained by the merchants in the guild using silver tickets to trade with the NPCs of each map for money, and a guild could only have ten merchants at the same time.
In short, if you wanted to seize the potion field in the main city, you needed to protect your own merchants and hunt down the merchants of the enemy guilds during selection week.
Xiang: It’s actually okay if you don’t want to get online. I’ll let Chunxiao know, and you can not come.
Xiao Jing ya: No no no, I want to advance and retreat with Gege. Gege, wait for me, I’ll get online after I wash up~ [kiss kiss]
“Is Xiao Jingjing coming or not?” Lu Hang was fetching potions. “If she isn’t coming, we’ll have to find another teammate.”
Xiang Huaizhi typed on his keyboard. “She’s coming.”
“Okay.” Lu Hang looked up at the server integration announcement and mumbled, “Heaven Grants Conjugal Felicity… The name of this server sounds familiar.”
Xiang Huaizhi didn’t pay any attention to that. Lu Hang had been in other servers before he had arrived in the Illusion server. In addition, he often participated in offline activities and knew many people from other servers. It wasn’t surprising for him to feel like this server was familiar.
Until a megaphone popped up in the game——
[Megaphone] Half Life: Where are all the Idle Pavillion people? Are you all hiding in the safe zone??
Half Life?
This name… seemed a bit familiar.
Xiang Huaizhi frowned and clicked open the other person’s information.
Half Life, Level 150, Fairy Fox Cave.
Fairy Fox Cave…
As soon as Xiang Huaizhi vaguely thought of something, he heard a voice from the person behind him. “Oh, holy shit—”
Lu Hang slapped the table excitedly. “Isn’t this Lu Wenhao and them?”
Afraid that Xiang Huaizhi wouldn’t remember, he also turned around to remind him. “It’s those underclassmen we met at the resort! Didn’t you even watch them do instances? Half Life is Lu Wenhao… The kind of chubby one!”
“How could something so coincidental happen!” Lu Hang grinned and opened Half Life’s profile, adding the other player as a friend. “Tch, I have to go talk to him, how dare he angrily yell at a senior…”
“No,” Xiang Huaizhi instantly called out.
Looking at Lu Hang’s puzzled eyes, Xiang Huaizhi pursed his lips, and it took him a long time to make up an excuse. “We’re now rival guilds. You saying anything will only put them in an awkward situation.”
Once they knew that Lu Hang was Long Road Ahead, then he probably also wouldn’t be able to conceal himself anymore. After all, his name and game ID overlapped, and their voices were similar, it was all too obvious.
He still didn’t want Jing Huan to know his real identity yet.
“What awkward situation? We can just bury the hatchet.”
Xiang Huaizhi lightly asked, “Then, who should the main city’s potion fields go to?”
Lu Hang was stunned. “Of course it should be us!”
After he said that, he also realized that this matter was really hard to reconcile. After all, the two guilds added up to 400 people. Each guild was responsible for its own members, and it was impossible to let something like this go just by saying so.
They were all strong members of their guilds, and they may have to fight against each other later.
Lu Hang asked, “Then what should we do? Just pretend we don’t know them? That’s not good ba, they’ve even sheltered us before.”
Xiang Huaizhi hesitated for a moment. “We’ll talk about it after things are over with. The fight won’t last long, at most one month.”
“This… Is it okay?” Lu Hang didn’t think too long about it, quickly falling into Xiang Huaizhi’s idea. “It seems okay. When the time comes, I’ll pretend that I just figured out this matter, and they shouldn’t be able to find out… Then, when we start fighting, we should hide from them. If we didn’t recognize each other, it’d be fine, but we can’t just kill them now ba.”
Xiang Huaizhi let out a perfunctory hum.
No wonder Jing Huan had constantly been sending over crying emoticons when he had mentioned the server integration yesterday.
His roommates shouldn’t know that he was playing a female account, nor that he was pursuing men in the game.
Jing Huan turned on the computer without even having breakfast.
There were more than 180 people in the guild YY at this time. Today was the weekend, and most of the guild members were there and discussing the upcoming strategic deployment.
“Why did only 180 people come?” Qiufeng asked, “I saw that the guild had 200 members.”
“That’s very good. This time, I can catch all the side accounts hidden in our guild and I’ll kick them out later.” Chunxiao’s tone was calm. “The city opens at 9, there are 20 minutes left. Let’s all form teams first. Their guild has two strong teams, I’ve pinned the IDs in the public channel. If you see them, don’t interact. Just leave them to my and Yearning For’s team to solve.”
Jing Huan listened while opening up the game. As soon as he entered the interface, a team invitation popped up.
[Yearning For invites you to join his team. Yes, No. ]
Jing Huan was stunned and immediately clicked to join.
“Gege,” He had just gotten up, so his voice was a bit hoarse. “I saw you as soon as I logged in, it seems that today is my lucky day.”
Xiang Huaizhi led him to the main city and threw a heap of high-level potions at him. “I watched you log off yesterday.”
Jing Huan’s brain stuttered a bit. “Huh?”
“I was waiting for you.” Xiang Huaizhi explained. “It has nothing to do with luck.”
Jing Huan had logged off in a wild map yesterday. The main city hadn’t opened yet, so assassins from both guilds were hunting for lone guild members in wild maps. Xiang Huaizhi was only afraid that he would be slaughtered, thus he came to pick him up.
Jing Huan blinked and silently digested this information.
Yearning For had actually been specifically waiting for him to login?
When the voice channel fell into silence, only then did Xiang Huaizhi realize that he had been struck speechless, and added, “I just came to pick up my teammate. Even if it was Long Road Ahead in a wild map, I would also go pick him up.”
After that, he didn’t give Jing Huan time to think and dragged other people into the team.
“Ahhhhhhh, it’s so exciting. I can’t wait.” Kiss Kiss Fish Fish said excitedly, “How long until the city opens ah!”
Love is For You to Eat replied, “We’re in the last few minutes.”
“Let’s go to the central places first ba.” Lu Hang said. “To the Silk Road, it’s where all the merchants have to go.”
The Silk Road was teeming with people. Guild members from Idle Pavilion and Promise were all crowded in the map, along with the battle watching side accounts of other guilds and those from other servers who had come over to see what the fuss was about.
Jing Huan had been playing the game for so long, but it was the first time he had seen such a sight. His back couldn’t help but straighten out.
[Megaphone] Half Life: Idle Pavilion, you have three minutes to surrender. [proud]
Jing Huan: “…”
How could this Lu Wenhao be so naive?
People who said stuff like this before a big battle wouldn’t survive more than two chapters in a novel.
He really wanted to advise his roommate to be a little more restrained, but he was afraid of revealing the truth, so he had to give up the idea.
At nine o’clock sharp, the fierce battle began, and the Silk Road was completely reduced into a battlefield.
When Xiang Huaizhi was about to go to find the enemy guild’s merchants, he saw that Half Life was bringing his team and mightily marching forward toward him.
Xiang Yu was already ready to fight, but her Ge turned around and ran away from Half Life’s attack range.
She said blankly, “Ge, isn’t that Half Life part of one of their main teams? Why aren’t you fighting them?”
Xiang Huaizhi responded, “I saw their guilds merchants, so I’m prioritizing killing them.”
Jing Huan had just breathed a sigh of relief when his WeChat messages rang.
Lu Wenhao: @ Xiao Jing ya, Damn it Huanhuan, I was just about to face off against Yearning For, but he ran away when he saw me! It’s really too much!!
Xiao Jing ya: …In that case, it’s better to just let it go ba.
Lu Wenhao: ?
Lu Wenhao: Don’t worry, I won’t let him escape. You wait, your brother will help you educate him today!
Educate my ass.
Stay away from Laozi, thank you very much.
Unfortunately, God didn’t hear Jing Huan’s prayer. Three hours later, the two teams still collided.
—
Juurensha: Ahhhhh Huanhuan, you knew the two of you have to fight it out!
Divi: Should’ve just confessed your plan Huanhuan. Your brothers would’ve thought you were hilarious and would help critique your attempts tbh.
And we have a fanart page!
And be sure to support the raws!
Chapter 64: Stay away from Laozi, thank you very much.
Edited by Divetus
When Jing Huan woke up the next day, his WeChat had already been completely inundated by all his group chats. He specifically looked at the time. It was just a few minutes after 8:00 am, so their server should have just had maintenance.
Not surprisingly, there were 99+ notifications from the guild group chat, and even his dorm group chat had 40+ notifications.
He really couldn’t understand why the two people, who lived together and couldn’t move their heads without seeing each other, would still spend all day chatting in the group chat.
Jing Huan was bleary-eyed. His eyelids opened and closed several times before he gradually woke up and slowly opened the dorm group chat.
It turned out they weren’t just randomly chatting.
All 40+ messages were screenshots from the game.
[Is Gege Big, coordinates (19, 41) Fairyland]
[Don’t Ask when I’ll Return, coordinates (129, 18) Main City]
[Falling Sweet, coordinates (99, 83) Unknown Realm]
…….
Jing Huan suddenly woke up.
Damn, this was… These coordinates were all for his guild members.
Xiao Jing ya: What are you guys doing?
Lu Wenhao: Killing people ah. The side accounts have all been arranged, just waiting for them to leave the safe area now. Why are you awake so early?
Xiao Jing ya: … There’s some store downstairs playing music, noisy.
Gao Zixiang: I envy you. We got up at half-past six.
Xiao Jing ya: ??
Gao Zixiang: We were afraid that NCH would open up the server ahead of time, and we wouldn’t be able to seize the opportunity.
Xiao Jing ya: Why can’t you just go in? It’s just the stream of people from two servers, it shouldn’t be necessary to queue up ba?
Lu Wenhao: Think about it. People from other servers have also all come over to gawk at the drama. Since you’re awake, why not come and help us operate an account? My wife’s account just happens to be free.
Xiao Jing ya: …No, I’ll keep sleeping, 88.
At the end of that sentence, Jing Huan immediately opened up the guild group chat.
Sure enough, there was also a sea of screenshots from the game.
Chunxiao: Today, let’s not do any dailies for the time being. Team leaders go protect our guild’s shopkeepers. If you don’t have a team, don’t leave the safe zone! Counting on everyone! Every day this week, I will pay a guild bonus as compensation!
With Chunxiao’s call to arms, everyone’s spirits lifted, and they were eager to fight.
It was a thrill to just play the game, and now that provocation had come knocking on their doors, everyone in the guild was excited beyond belief.
Jing Huan also liked provocation.
It was exciting to think about seizing territory after a server integration.
That was, if his two idiotic roommates weren’t in the enemy guild.
Thinking of the two people’s heroic words last night, Jing Huan felt a headache brewing.
Yesterday, he had considered confessing to them and telling them not to interfere with the matters between him and Yearning For. However, when he thought about everything he had done in the past few months, the thought immediately vanished with not a single trace left behind.
He had pretended to be a woman and sent over a picture of his thighs in the hot springs to a guy online. In this life, he would take this secret to his grave.
If a second person knew about it, then that person would also have to join him in a grave at the same time.
His phone vibrated a little and pulled him back to reality.
Xiang: When you wake up, come look for me.
Xiao Jing ya: I’m here! Morning Gege~~\\(≧▽≦)/~
Xiang: Morning, are you playing today?
Xiang: En.
Xiang: I promised Chunxiao to help seize the main city’s potion fields for them.
Each big map of NCH had its own potion field, and each potion field could only be picked up by one guild. The potion quality of the main city was the highest, and before the server integration, the potion field picking rights for the main city had always been in the hands of the members of Idle Pavillion.
The right to collect potions changed once every two months. Only during the selection week could the guild with the highest funds obtain the potion field in the main city. Guild funds couldn’t be directly filled up; money could only be obtained by the merchants in the guild using silver tickets to trade with the NPCs of each map for money, and a guild could only have ten merchants at the same time.
In short, if you wanted to seize the potion field in the main city, you needed to protect your own merchants and hunt down the merchants of the enemy guilds during selection week.
Xiang: It’s actually okay if you don’t want to get online. I’ll let Chunxiao know, and you can not come.
Xiao Jing ya: No no no, I want to advance and retreat with Gege. Gege, wait for me, I’ll get online after I wash up~ [kiss kiss]
“Is Xiao Jingjing coming or not?” Lu Hang was fetching potions. “If she isn’t coming, we’ll have to find another teammate.”
Xiang Huaizhi typed on his keyboard. “She’s coming.”
“Okay.” Lu Hang looked up at the server integration announcement and mumbled, “Heaven Grants Conjugal Felicity… The name of this server sounds familiar.”
Xiang Huaizhi didn’t pay any attention to that. Lu Hang had been in other servers before he had arrived in the Illusion server. In addition, he often participated in offline activities and knew many people from other servers. It wasn’t surprising for him to feel like this server was familiar.
Until a megaphone popped up in the game——
[Megaphone] Half Life: Where are all the Idle Pavillion people? Are you all hiding in the safe zone??
Half Life?
This name… seemed a bit familiar.
Xiang Huaizhi frowned and clicked open the other person’s information.
Half Life, Level 150, Fairy Fox Cave.
Fairy Fox Cave…
As soon as Xiang Huaizhi vaguely thought of something, he heard a voice from the person behind him. “Oh, holy shit—”
Afraid that Xiang Huaizhi wouldn’t remember, he also turned around to remind him. “It’s those underclassmen we met at the resort! Didn’t you even watch them do instances? Half Life is Lu Wenhao… The kind of chubby one!”
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Xiang Huaizhi slightly shifted and reflexively glanced at the WeChat interface next to the game.“How could something so coincidental happen!” Lu Hang grinned and opened Half Life’s profile, adding the other player as a friend. “Tch, I have to go talk to him, how dare he angrily yell at a senior…”
“No,” Xiang Huaizhi instantly called out.
Looking at Lu Hang’s puzzled eyes, Xiang Huaizhi pursed his lips, and it took him a long time to make up an excuse. “We’re now rival guilds. You saying anything will only put them in an awkward situation.”
Once they knew that Lu Hang was Long Road Ahead, then he probably also wouldn’t be able to conceal himself anymore. After all, his name and game ID overlapped, and their voices were similar, it was all too obvious.
He still didn’t want Jing Huan to know his real identity yet.
“What awkward situation? We can just bury the hatchet.”
Xiang Huaizhi lightly asked, “Then, who should the main city’s potion fields go to?”
Lu Hang was stunned. “Of course it should be us!”
After he said that, he also realized that this matter was really hard to reconcile. After all, the two guilds added up to 400 people. Each guild was responsible for its own members, and it was impossible to let something like this go just by saying so.
They were all strong members of their guilds, and they may have to fight against each other later.
Lu Hang asked, “Then what should we do? Just pretend we don’t know them? That’s not good ba, they’ve even sheltered us before.”
Xiang Huaizhi hesitated for a moment. “We’ll talk about it after things are over with. The fight won’t last long, at most one month.”
“This… Is it okay?” Lu Hang didn’t think too long about it, quickly falling into Xiang Huaizhi’s idea. “It seems okay. When the time comes, I’ll pretend that I just figured out this matter, and they shouldn’t be able to find out… Then, when we start fighting, we should hide from them. If we didn’t recognize each other, it’d be fine, but we can’t just kill them now ba.”
Xiang Huaizhi let out a perfunctory hum.
No wonder Jing Huan had constantly been sending over crying emoticons when he had mentioned the server integration yesterday.
His roommates shouldn’t know that he was playing a female account, nor that he was pursuing men in the game.
Jing Huan turned on the computer without even having breakfast.
“Why did only 180 people come?” Qiufeng asked, “I saw that the guild had 200 members.”
“That’s very good. This time, I can catch all the side accounts hidden in our guild and I’ll kick them out later.” Chunxiao’s tone was calm. “The city opens at 9, there are 20 minutes left. Let’s all form teams first. Their guild has two strong teams, I’ve pinned the IDs in the public channel. If you see them, don’t interact. Just leave them to my and Yearning For’s team to solve.”
Jing Huan listened while opening up the game. As soon as he entered the interface, a team invitation popped up.
[Yearning For invites you to join his team. Yes, No. ]
Jing Huan was stunned and immediately clicked to join.
“Gege,” He had just gotten up, so his voice was a bit hoarse. “I saw you as soon as I logged in, it seems that today is my lucky day.”
Xiang Huaizhi led him to the main city and threw a heap of high-level potions at him. “I watched you log off yesterday.”
Jing Huan’s brain stuttered a bit. “Huh?”
“I was waiting for you.” Xiang Huaizhi explained. “It has nothing to do with luck.”
Jing Huan had logged off in a wild map yesterday. The main city hadn’t opened yet, so assassins from both guilds were hunting for lone guild members in wild maps. Xiang Huaizhi was only afraid that he would be slaughtered, thus he came to pick him up.
Jing Huan blinked and silently digested this information.
Yearning For had actually been specifically waiting for him to login?
When the voice channel fell into silence, only then did Xiang Huaizhi realize that he had been struck speechless, and added, “I just came to pick up my teammate. Even if it was Long Road Ahead in a wild map, I would also go pick him up.”
After that, he didn’t give Jing Huan time to think and dragged other people into the team.
“Ahhhhhhh, it’s so exciting. I can’t wait.” Kiss Kiss Fish Fish said excitedly, “How long until the city opens ah!”
Love is For You to Eat replied, “We’re in the last few minutes.”
“Let’s go to the central places first ba.” Lu Hang said. “To the Silk Road, it’s where all the merchants have to go.”
The Silk Road was teeming with people. Guild members from Idle Pavilion and Promise were all crowded in the map, along with the battle watching side accounts of other guilds and those from other servers who had come over to see what the fuss was about.
Jing Huan had been playing the game for so long, but it was the first time he had seen such a sight. His back couldn’t help but straighten out.
Jing Huan: “…”
How could this Lu Wenhao be so naive?
People who said stuff like this before a big battle wouldn’t survive more than two chapters in a novel.
He really wanted to advise his roommate to be a little more restrained, but he was afraid of revealing the truth, so he had to give up the idea.
At nine o’clock sharp, the fierce battle began, and the Silk Road was completely reduced into a battlefield.
When Xiang Huaizhi was about to go to find the enemy guild’s merchants, he saw that Half Life was bringing his team and mightily marching forward toward him.
Xiang Yu was already ready to fight, but her Ge turned around and ran away from Half Life’s attack range.
She said blankly, “Ge, isn’t that Half Life part of one of their main teams? Why aren’t you fighting them?”
Xiang Huaizhi responded, “I saw their guilds merchants, so I’m prioritizing killing them.”
Jing Huan had just breathed a sigh of relief when his WeChat messages rang.
Lu Wenhao: @ Xiao Jing ya, Damn it Huanhuan, I was just about to face off against Yearning For, but he ran away when he saw me! It’s really too much!!
Xiao Jing ya: …In that case, it’s better to just let it go ba.
Lu Wenhao: ?
Lu Wenhao: Don’t worry, I won’t let him escape. You wait, your brother will help you educate him today!
Educate my ass.
Stay away from Laozi, thank you very much.
Unfortunately, God didn’t hear Jing Huan’s prayer. Three hours later, the two teams still collided.
—
Juurensha: Ahhhhh Huanhuan, you knew the two of you have to fight it out!
And we have a fanart page!
And be sure to support the raws!
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