"Mother, do you know that you have nightmares and you suffer from trauma for the previous torture you went through?" Mu Lan was careful when she asked. She was observing Jing Sheng's every reaction.
Jing Sheng was baffled. "…What do you mean?"
Mu Lan said, "Every night you scream as you see nightmares of how your sons were taken away from you, how you were abused physically; don't you remember anything?"
"I clearly have no idea what you are talking about." Jing Sheng was totally unaware of her nightmares.
Mu Lan asked, "Do you know why you don't remember what happens to you every night?" She bent to the side and opened the drawer of the bedside table. She took out a bottle of medicine and threw it to Jing Sheng since she still couldn't walk properly. After throwing the bottle, she said, "Because of this."
"This is…" Jing Sheng read the content written on the bottle. "I never saw this medicine before. I never took it."
Mu Lan told her, "You didn't but someone else fed it to you every night when you screamed and cried in your dark bedroom."
"…What? But who would do such thing for me? Why would that person go such lengths to do this for me?" Jing Sheng asked number of questions all at once.
"That person not only gave you that medicine every night, that person also protected you while you were being tortured by Mu Lin." Mu Lan already investigated and found out about all the many things that Noel did behind everyone's back.
Jing Sheng was dumbstruck after hearing that. She came forward and grabbed Mu Lan's hand rightly. "Who is this person? Who is helping me?"
Mu Lan smiled. "And why do you want to know, mother? What will you do after knowing who it is?"
Jing Sheng was momentarily loss of words before answering, "I will thank that person of course."
Mu Lan took her hands out of Jing Sheng's grasp. She shook her head and smiled bitterly. "That person doesn't want you to know, mother."
Jing Sheng blinked. "…What? Why?"
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"Because that person loves you deeply. He loves you so much that he never dared to say it. He thought that you might shut yourself from him." Mu Lan told her the truth.
Jing Sheng could hardly believe what she was hearing. "…What are you saying? How do you know this?"
Mu Lan gave her future mother-in-law the reason. "That's why you knew nothing about it until I told you. Now mother, what will do you after finding out who he is? The man who used all his savings to protect you secretly, if you only thank him after knowing everything, it will be the lowest move you could make, even compared to Mu Lin."
Jing Sheng's lips and fingers trembled, and her head hung low. She had no way to refute, she couldn't say anything. When she thought that she was living without anyone's help, but in the end, she found out that someone was protecting her secretly, sacrificing everything, her heart shattered into pieces. She didn't feel that way when she divorced.
Her eyes moistened. Here she thought that she had no heart and no feelings left for people. If so, why was her heart feeling the agony? She couldn't say.
This time, Mu Lan touched Jing Sheng's hands and spoke with a smile, "You don't have to think so much, Mother. Just let go of all the tensions and the burden which is not yours. You have no connection with the Mu Family. You are free to do anything, to think anything. You still have time to take what you deserve."
Jing Sheng took her hands away from her and stood up. She shook her head. She whispered, "Don't give me false hope. I don't have time."
Mu Lan frowned. She didn't think that after knowing and thinking this hard, Jing Sheng would move back to the ground zero. She kept saying the same thing again and again. However, she was still a mental ill and Mu Lan shouldn't do anything abruptly that would trigger her illness. She coldly said, "As long anyone is still alive, they have time."
Jing Sheng trembled. She understood that Mu Lan's words were right. But her heart wasn't willing to accept it. She wanted to be escape from the marriage life. She wanted to free herself from the Mu Family. But the world wasn't that easy. Reality was far harsher, not positive at all.
If she was to become happy with another man, her three sons Mu Liang, Mu Feng and Mu Chen might suffer. She closed her eyes and controlled herself. She kept her shivering hands in the pockets of her coat and said, "Xiao Lan, I know you're trying to do what is the best for me maybe, but I want to stay alone. I don't want to dream again. I'm fine, really."
Mu Lan asked, "And what about that person? How long you want him to take care of you? For eternity? Mother, it's too painful for him. He did nothing to deserve such treatment." Her tone was sharper.
Jing Sheng turned around to leave. She replied, "Doesn't he want to keep it a secret from me? Think of it as if we never had this conversation."
Mu Lan didn't stop there. She kept saying, "He wanted you to make a move first. He wanted you to rely on him. He is too scared to make the first move. You know in your heart that a person who knows everything about you and still kept supporting you in the dark will make you happy. You would be happy with him; yet, you decided not to be happy, shutting yourself from everyone. You don't care about what we feel, do you? You don't think of us as your own. Because we didn't support you in your darkest time. That's why you are trying to keep us in the dark and don't want to share any of your burden."
Her tone became cruder as she spoke. For some reason, she became agitated.
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