Chapter 18: Mercantilism (The Import and Export parts)

Reading the minds of the twins had given me some insights. First, keep an even closer eye on Tori and deal with bullies accordingly.

 

Second, that they would be willing to work with me so long as I made the Whimsy Pearls a little less ‘nightmarish’.

 

Hah! Nightmarish. That’s not even the worst thing they could seen. There’s much worse things out there than some alien consuming and taking over a human body. Like things that pretend to be humans, but they just don’t get all the details right. Then…you, uh, well, don’t really enjoy living at that point…I guess…

 

Back to the twins, they met with me. Said they’d be willing to work with me—with them getting a quarter each, and I get a half—as they would run marketing and sales, and I would run background work. They said they would give me a hand if I asked, but it’s been decided that I would take up the work that would definitely be toeing far across the line.

 

We also agreed that I would end up doing the most work, since I proposed this, and would end up with the largest profit margins.

 

I, of course, being much wealthier than them and only doing this for fun, offered to do it for free and to instead have them include me in, or at least let me know about, their pranks.

 

A bit of negotiations later, and I finally got them to accept. So now, I lead them to an abandoned classroom on the second floor. Honestly, they’re quite trusting of me because I could just kill them both right now and replace their bodies…

 

No. No! Bad intrusive thoughts!

 

With just enough force to not shatter the hinges, I throw open the door. The twins, for a moment, are unimpressed as there’s really nothing to look at.

 

“It’s…clean.” Yeah, thanks, George. Thanks for noticing that I swept up the dust and removed the cobwebs from existence. Yeah, really big thanks.

 

“Mmm,” I hum. “I know it’s not much. Actually, it’s one of several not much-es.”

 

The two remain silent, expecting me to elaborate. I huff a huffy huff. “Okay, pull out your map. It shows classroom names, right?”

 

“Yeah,” George replies while Fred pulls out the map. “Rooms like this just say abandoned, though.” Fred, however, looks at the map in slight confusion.

 

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“George, look at this.” He pulls him over, and George adopts a similar look of confusion. They both look up at me, then back to the map.

 

“It says…Joke Shop?”

 

“Yep! Got it in one, Fred! Really putting to work your reading comprehension skills. Though, okay. Yeah, a little confusing. Bet you both have hundreds of questions. Just let me rant for a bit, okay?” Receiving nods, I continue, pacing back and forth.

 

“So, I had to figure out, ‘how do I make a shop that can’t be found?’ Well, I followed another room’s example, and I modified the school’s wards…slightly. Hogwarts, for all intents and purposes, is, for lack of a better term in the human language, alive. It rearranges itself. Hallways disappear, staircases move. Makes it unmappable, well, unless you have a map that’s connected to the castle.

 

The Founders, when they weren’t on bad terms, decided to make this place not just a place to learn, but a place to discover. They gave the castle the power to guide people where they need to go and away from where they shouldn’t be.

 

I, ahem, changed a few things. Our location will always be in a different room: be it closet, bathroom, or classroom. Whatever it is, students will always be able to find it if they need or want it.

 

Other problems: entrances, exits, and moving of stock. I-I have an idea in mind, but I can’t work on it here. Need a better workshop, and the best one I know is back at home, so…yeah. We’d have to use the secret exits to leave the castle, and the normal doors for the shops. Currently, I’m just moving all the stock by hand, so it’s manageable for right now.”

 

They look pensive, staring off into space with narrowed eyes. “Questions?”

 

Fred speaks up. “Decorations? Prices?”

 

“Fred.” I rub my forehead. “That’s your job. I may be doing this for free, but that doesn't mean I’m doing everything.” Plus, time and time again, the other Rulers have told me that I should not have a passion for graphic design. Somehow, Revian, the most stoic of us, threw up when she saw what I made in photoshop.

 

I have most of the system worked out. Finer points for convenience can be made at later points. The twins, after a bit of goading, finally agreed to the plan. So, we now have an access point for people to buy contraband.

 

We also charge a premium for smuggling requested items in, or, in some cases, getting items out. It’s really easy for me, slightly easy for the twins. I don’t think we’ll be seeing many cases where we have to sneak items, or people, out.

 

Not until our seventh year, at maximum.

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