Chapter 31: Chapter 31: Self-Doubt

"Kubwah!" Dirian yelled as he fell face first to the ground.

What followed was a brief moment of silence during which everyone looked at him in astonishment, including Gideon, who couldn't believe what had just happened. Gideon's risk, which he took simply because he thought it might work, bore fruit right in front of his enlarged, shivering eyes.

The complete silence was immediately broken when Dirian stood up and wandered his eyes throughout the area; he received no injury, and the fall did not physically hurt him in the least. However, seeing all of the eyes on him caused him to lose his cool. "What—what are you looking at? I—didn't lose! I just tripped!" He chuckled, but his voice cracked. "I didn't get beat... by a trainee."

No one responded to Dirian, instead continuing on with their work without saying anything and keeping their thoughts to themselves.

Like a dojo master who was beaten by a new recruit who had no idea how to throw a punch, or a veteran novelist who lost a writing contest to a new author who had no idea how to construct a proper sentence. Those thoughts infiltrated Dirian's mind, instilling overwhelming humiliation in every vein of his body.

Dirian gestured with both hands. "Trainee, say it. You can't possibly beat me, can you? Me, of all people?" He forced a laugh as he stared at Gideon with shivering eyes, holding the last pride he had as one of the guild's trainers. "I just tripped; it's a minor mishap, right? Trainee? Do you really believe you can beat me? A weakling with no sword skill and who couldn't even lift a sword properly knocking me down? Do you believe that's possible? Because I don't believe it! What are your thoughts?"

Gideon chuckled and scratched the back of his head, showing no signs of hesitation. "Of course you are correct," he said, nodding and smiling. "We all know you just tripped; there is no way I could defeat someone as powerful as you, Sir Dirian. Wasn't the previous rounds of you kicking my ass enough proof?"

Dirian's eyes calmed as he slowly regained his composure after hearing Gideon's assurance. Taking in Gideon's words and proclaiming them to be the only truth. After a few seconds, his usual confident smile returned as he approached Gideon and gently tapped his shoulder, smiling. "But I'd say you did exceptionally well in our sparring, Trainee. You still have a long way to go, but I can see that you have potential; you will get there if you train hard enough."

Gideon smiled. "Thanks."

Dirian responded with a loud chuckle as he slowly walked away from Gideon towards the training ground's entrance. "That's all for now; I'll go report your performance to Seilyn."

"Thank you for your time, Sir Dirian," Gideon said as he watched Dirian leave the practice field. He groaned as he confirmed Dirian's absence. "Um, my back— could anyone please direct me to the freaking clinic?"

"That was incredible, My lad!" Ordy exclaimed, tapping his arm on Gideon's shoulder.

Gideon, on the other hand, groaned once more due to shoulder pain. "I think I broke my shoulders, arms, and jaw, especially my jaw—something tells me my face just dislocated."

"I can't believe you actually won, Gideon!" Halini exclaimed, a cheerful smile on her face.

"Do you mean survive? Because the only thing I remember is that I did manage to survive," Gideon replied, his eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean? You did exceptionally well," Halini protested, pouting her lips. "So well that I got a little envious."

Gideon simply exhaled and smiled when he saw Halini's pouty lips. "Let's just go with what you're insisting on."

"I'm not going to call that a lucky break," Mian said, crossing her arms and staring at Gideon with a slight smile on her light pink lips.

"I won't either," Gideon said, scratching the back of his neck. "Anyway, I'm going to take a break because my body ache is killing me."

Gideon walked through them, rubbing his back and shoulder with his hands. The next thing that could be heard in the area were the roars of the adventurers who had witnessed what had happened.

"Now it irritates me that I haven't found you myself, My lad! You'll be a fantastic addition to my party!" exclaimed one of the warriors, a great sword dangling from his back.

"My lad, Gideon, if you get tired of Ordy's party, come to mine! We're going to drink booze every day!" said the topless bald man, holding a brown bottle of booze.

Gideon simply exhaled slowly, a tired smile on his face. "Thank you for your kind words, Guys; I appreciate it," he said, assuming they were just trying to cheer him up.

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He walked through the crowds of adventurers on the outskirts of the training grounds. When he saw a familiar face standing by the side of the path, he took a brief pause. Vien was just looking down, rubbing her thumbs together, and didn't say anything until Gideon walked past her.

"Ah, um... you did a fantastic job, Mister Gideon."

Gideon came to a halt and looked down at Vien, who was still looking down. "Do you think so?"

Vien raised her head, revealing her shy expression as she considered what to say. "This is the first time I've seen a trainee knock down a trainer; usually, it's the other way around."

"I did? I don't think so, but thank you for your words of encouragement." He walked forward, leaving everyone behind.

No matter how many encouraging words Gideon received, the only words that stayed with him were the harsh words Dirian said to him, shattering his already fragile self-esteem.

The entire crowd on the training ground was watching Gideon's every move without his knowledge. Their eyes were drawn to the event they witnessed, a natural ability that, at the time, could not be considered ridiculously powerful but had undeniable potential if allowed to develop. At the same time, some of them were filled with envy for Ordy, the one who had managed to recruit him.

Ordy, sensing the eyes on him, laughed so loudly that his baritone voice echoed throughout the silent place. "See, I told you Gideon is a remarkable young man; I knew it the moment I laid eyes on him for the first time!"

"He transformed Dirian, who was always calm and confident, into a rampaging blonde ape. Do you think he has the ability to drive someone insane enough to jump off a cliff?" Halini inquired.

"I don't think that's how his skill works, Halini," Mian replied, assuming, like everyone else who witnessed what happened, that what Gideon did was a demonstration of his 'Skill'. Her pupils constricted. "However, what if he can?"

Ordy walked out and toward the training ground's entrance. "Let's find out, after all, he's now a member of our party," he chuckled. Mian, Halini, and Vien followed him.

They reach the front of the guild hall after a few seconds of walking. They discovered Gideon standing next to the door, silently looking down with disappointment in his eyes, which he quickly concealed with a smile when he noticed Ordy approaching him.

"Gideon, my lad, now that you're finally registered as an adventurer, how about we go adventuring right away, so you can finally experience the fun of adventuring!" Ordy said with a big smile.

Gideon, on the other hand, paused for a second before bursting out laughing. "I appreciate that you still want me at your party after what happened, but I don't think I can join your adventure yet."

Ordy, Mian, Halini, and Vien drew their brows together.

"Ha? Why?" Ordy asked, his voice clearly confused.

Gideon let out a forced chuckle with his cracking voice before answering Ordy. "I got my sorry ass handed to me ten times, and I don't even know how to use a sword properly," he shrugged and smiled. "As you can see, my combat skills aren't even passable; I don't want to be a burden to all of you. So I decided to take non-dangerous quests while also training to be able to fight in the meantime. And once I'm decent, I'll join you guys—if you don't mind waiting."

"But—"

"Halini," Mian interrupted, crossing her arms and sighing.

Ordy nodded slowly. "I see; we can't force you if that's your choice."

"Thank you for your understanding... I guess I'll see you around."

Gideon exhaled, turned away from them, and walked away with his shoulders lowered. The fake smile he had flashed them had faded, revealing a tired and gloomy expression. His already lifeless eyes became so lifeless that even the bright sun couldn't bring them back to life.

"I am a weakling, and that will never change no matter where I am," he said, his voice cracking coldly.

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