Heavenly Demon Cultivation Simulation
“This is how a fist needs to be made.”
“No. Here, after bowing your head. I was asked to pay, too.”
The two elders had been in a heated discussion since morning. Early today, a person, supposedly a spy, stopped by the library. So now they were arguing about close combat.
“Seriously—I’m telling you I’m right. How does it make any sense for the Emei Sect to represent the central lands? Look closely.”
Du Hong stepped forwards, taking a firm stance with his hands clasped into fists at his waist. Then he lifted his fist.
“Ugh! Huk! Huk!”
“Hat! Hat! Hat!”
Groans emerged from the ends of Du Hong’s fists. Seol-Hwi had been tied to a tree to act as a punching bag for the old men.
“Phew…” After several hits, Du Hong pulled back his fists and paused to catch his breath. It looked like he was done, but— “Okay, shall we get started?” His eyes shone and his palm snapped out.
“Dadadadadada!”
“Aghgahhehagaha!”
Du Hong jabbed his fingers into Seol-Hwi’s pressure points, and all sorts of other crazy stuff—hitting, punching, pinching… He finished it off with a slap, which wasn’t even something the spy taught him.
“Phew.” Du Hong turned to Lee Byeok. “How was it?”
“That isn’t right. The third movement isn’t like that. It’s normally done with swift movements: first you hit the stomach, then there.”
“Is that so? Then show me starting from the first technique.”
“I was waiting for you to say that.” Lee Byeok leapt up and ran at Seol-Hwi, ignoring his protests. “Here I come!” He waved his fist like a six year old kid.
“Ack!” Seol-Hwi took a fist to his stomach at tremendous speed.
“Huu! Dududududu!”
“Ackckakkakcakckak!” His screams varied as he was struck in interesting new ways. But then came the third form they were talking about.
“AGHHH!” When Lee Byeok’s fist smashed into his body, Seol-Hwi could see that the grim reaper had come to visit. This was not like the usual pain. His vision was going black and he couldn’t feel his body.
Shit… something’s broken, right?
“How was that?”
Du Hong shot Lee Byeok a thumbs-up. They both seemed satisfied.
Let’s end it here, was the only thing Seol-Hwi could think. New combat types were all well and good, but if they didn’t stop hitting him between the legs it wouldn’t do him any good.
Even when he was falling apart, the text hadn’t changed. He’d spend all of yesterday being treated like less-than-human to get those seven jobs done. It should’ve ended with being their punching bag.
“That’s how it’s done.”
“No, didn’t you see what I did? The hit should go here.”
Right. Let’s kill them later. Seol-Hwi was losing it. There was a limit to everything.
“I don’t understand. You have to show me.”
“I’ll demonstrate.”
Huh?
The long awaited number.
Ah…! Six days of bloody hell. The reward had come, the new combat type was revealed.
Right. But what was it? What the hell kind of reward did he wait for so long for?
What did it mean?
“This time, I will start.” Lee Byeok cracked his neck and walked towards Seol-Hwi again. As he began to swing his fists, Seol-Hwi cackled like a madman.
“Hehehehehe… Pay me back for 450… 28 slaps for no reason, 5 times on the nose, 10 punches to the face, 80+ kicks to the waist, 76 times on the ass and 90 times in the crotch—”
“What is this bastard talking about?”
“30 pinches, 60 slaps to the face, 40 kicks to my sides—”
“This brat!” Lee Byeok threw a fist at Seol-Hwi—but he couldn’t move. Seol-Hwi caught his fist instantly.
“Those are the things you people did to me in the past six days. I counted every single one of them—and I will give it all back.” Seol-Hwi paced towards him.
“Uh, uh—aack!”
It felt like these old tofu blocks could be smashed without resistance.
“AGGGGGGGHH!”
Lee Byeok’s screams were proof of it.
“This brat—!” Du Hong ran at him from behind. Seol-Hwi was ready. Du Hong’s punch was just so straightforward that Seol-Hwi didn’t even need to move fast to respond.
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This, this feeling. It wasn’t firm like when he hit Lee Byeok; it was like he was punching air.
Amidst the old man’s screams, Seol-Hwi punched Du Hong again.
“Take this! And this!” He felt Du Hong’s hips shatter, and his toes crushed so hard it must have broken.
The old men were laid out on the floor, groaning in pain, but their screams didn’t last long. Seol-Hwi grabbed their heads and dragged them away.
“Let’s go to the bathroom now, kids.”
His words were… oddly passionate.
If asked what the most horrific thing he’d been through was, Seol-Hwi could answer immediately.
“When I had to sneak into a latrine for an assasination.”
The terrible stench was choking; the foul feeling on his body; being immersed in shit killed something inside him.
Like, human dignity.
“Now you’ll know how I felt.” Seol-Hwi wanted to teach that to the old men. The worst disgrace of his life. A nightmare.
He’d endured for the quest rewards… and finally, his day had come!
There was a bit of a fuss while he was dragging them there. Du Hong suddenly attacked him in front of the bathroom door. Seol-Hwi wasn’t sure why—maybe the smell of poop made him anxious?
So he kicked the old man a few times until he fell over and stopped breathing.
“Can’t even do this right…” He didn’t mean to kill Du Hong. What a pathetic death. “Oh, right! There’s on more!”
“S-spare me.”
“Of course, you’ll get special treatment.” Seol-Hwi pushed him in.
“Ahhhh! Ahhhhhhhhh!” Lee Byeok let out terrible screams as the sticky shit covered his body. As Seol-Hwi intended, it was a scene straight out of his worst nightmare.
“Hahah. Is it hard to breathe? Even when you’re not doing anything it’s awful, right? I know, I know,” Seol-Hwi said sympathetically. “I know what it feels like.”
“You bastard!” Lee Byeok choked up. He was too afraid of dying to say much.
“Oh, what’s that? You must be out of your mind. Hmm… is it cold down there? Should I throw in some warm shit?”
Lee Byeok stiffened. It wasn’t difficult to guess what Seol-Hwi meant by “warm shit.”
“No! G-great one! I-I must have been crazy all this time!” He shut his eyes, unable to bear the sight of the feces.
“Should I shit here? Or closer to you~”
“Ah, please, please…” Lee Byeok wept, but his opponent seemed to have no intention of backing down. His appeals went unheard.
“Here!”
Plop. Plop. Something was being done. Splash.
“Ack!” The space was too small for Lee Byeok to escape, no matter how hard he struggled.
Plop, plop, plop.
“Ahh! Ahhhhhh! What kind of fat bastard are you?! Why aren’t you done?!”
Look at him being cheap.
Plop.
Seol-Hwi just grinned and shat. Lee Byeok’s screams serenaded his ears while he examined the combat types.
Off to the right, he could see “Turn Based” and “AI,” neither of which he understood.
“This is how I was fighting until now.” He was glad the system was telling him about it. Taking extra damage was a surprise. But what was this about focus?”
“Stop shi—! Stop shitting!”
Plop. Plop.
Lee Byeok’s voice wafted up from below, but Seol-Hwi ignored it.
“This seems good, doesn’t it?” Seol-Hwi’s face brightened. Of course, he didn’t know that AI meant Artificial Intelligence, or what the system was, but he could understand that it would help him.
“Are you even human? How can you shit this much!”
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“Should I choose one?”
It looked like he could keep changing them.
“So how would this work…?”
His anger must have given him superhuman strength: Lee Byeok was climbing up the wall, despite his leg wound. It was the perfect opportunity for Seol-Hwi to satisfy his curiosity.
Chapter 29: 28
“No. Here, after bowing your head. I was asked to pay, too.”
The two elders had been in a heated discussion since morning. Early today, a person, supposedly a spy, stopped by the library. So now they were arguing about close combat.
“Seriously—I’m telling you I’m right. How does it make any sense for the Emei Sect to represent the central lands? Look closely.”
Du Hong stepped forwards, taking a firm stance with his hands clasped into fists at his waist. Then he lifted his fist.
“Ugh! Huk! Huk!”
“Hat! Hat! Hat!”
Groans emerged from the ends of Du Hong’s fists. Seol-Hwi had been tied to a tree to act as a punching bag for the old men.
“Phew…” After several hits, Du Hong pulled back his fists and paused to catch his breath. It looked like he was done, but— “Okay, shall we get started?” His eyes shone and his palm snapped out.
“Dadadadadada!”
“Aghgahhehagaha!”
Du Hong jabbed his fingers into Seol-Hwi’s pressure points, and all sorts of other crazy stuff—hitting, punching, pinching… He finished it off with a slap, which wasn’t even something the spy taught him.
“Phew.” Du Hong turned to Lee Byeok. “How was it?”
“That isn’t right. The third movement isn’t like that. It’s normally done with swift movements: first you hit the stomach, then there.”
“Is that so? Then show me starting from the first technique.”
“I was waiting for you to say that.” Lee Byeok leapt up and ran at Seol-Hwi, ignoring his protests. “Here I come!” He waved his fist like a six year old kid.
“Ack!” Seol-Hwi took a fist to his stomach at tremendous speed.
“Huu! Dududududu!”
“Ackckakkakcakckak!” His screams varied as he was struck in interesting new ways. But then came the third form they were talking about.
“AGHHH!” When Lee Byeok’s fist smashed into his body, Seol-Hwi could see that the grim reaper had come to visit. This was not like the usual pain. His vision was going black and he couldn’t feel his body.
“How was that?”
Du Hong shot Lee Byeok a thumbs-up. They both seemed satisfied.
Let’s end it here, was the only thing Seol-Hwi could think. New combat types were all well and good, but if they didn’t stop hitting him between the legs it wouldn’t do him any good.
Even when he was falling apart, the text hadn’t changed. He’d spend all of yesterday being treated like less-than-human to get those seven jobs done. It should’ve ended with being their punching bag.
“That’s how it’s done.”
“No, didn’t you see what I did? The hit should go here.”
Right. Let’s kill them later. Seol-Hwi was losing it. There was a limit to everything.
“I don’t understand. You have to show me.”
“I’ll demonstrate.”
Huh?
The long awaited number.
Ah…! Six days of bloody hell. The reward had come, the new combat type was revealed.
Right. But what was it? What the hell kind of reward did he wait for so long for?
What did it mean?
“This time, I will start.” Lee Byeok cracked his neck and walked towards Seol-Hwi again. As he began to swing his fists, Seol-Hwi cackled like a madman.
“Hehehehehe… Pay me back for 450… 28 slaps for no reason, 5 times on the nose, 10 punches to the face, 80+ kicks to the waist, 76 times on the ass and 90 times in the crotch—”
“What is this bastard talking about?”
“30 pinches, 60 slaps to the face, 40 kicks to my sides—”
“This brat!” Lee Byeok threw a fist at Seol-Hwi—but he couldn’t move. Seol-Hwi caught his fist instantly.
“Uh, uh—aack!”
It felt like these old tofu blocks could be smashed without resistance.
“AGGGGGGGHH!”
Lee Byeok’s screams were proof of it.
“This brat—!” Du Hong ran at him from behind. Seol-Hwi was ready. Du Hong’s punch was just so straightforward that Seol-Hwi didn’t even need to move fast to respond.
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“Ugh—ack!”This, this feeling. It wasn’t firm like when he hit Lee Byeok; it was like he was punching air.
Amidst the old man’s screams, Seol-Hwi punched Du Hong again.
“Take this! And this!” He felt Du Hong’s hips shatter, and his toes crushed so hard it must have broken.
The old men were laid out on the floor, groaning in pain, but their screams didn’t last long. Seol-Hwi grabbed their heads and dragged them away.
“Let’s go to the bathroom now, kids.”
His words were… oddly passionate.
If asked what the most horrific thing he’d been through was, Seol-Hwi could answer immediately.
“When I had to sneak into a latrine for an assasination.”
The terrible stench was choking; the foul feeling on his body; being immersed in shit killed something inside him.
Like, human dignity.
“Now you’ll know how I felt.” Seol-Hwi wanted to teach that to the old men. The worst disgrace of his life. A nightmare.
He’d endured for the quest rewards… and finally, his day had come!
So he kicked the old man a few times until he fell over and stopped breathing.
“Can’t even do this right…” He didn’t mean to kill Du Hong. What a pathetic death. “Oh, right! There’s on more!”
“S-spare me.”
“Of course, you’ll get special treatment.” Seol-Hwi pushed him in.
“Ahhhh! Ahhhhhhhhh!” Lee Byeok let out terrible screams as the sticky shit covered his body. As Seol-Hwi intended, it was a scene straight out of his worst nightmare.
“Hahah. Is it hard to breathe? Even when you’re not doing anything it’s awful, right? I know, I know,” Seol-Hwi said sympathetically. “I know what it feels like.”
“You bastard!” Lee Byeok choked up. He was too afraid of dying to say much.
“Oh, what’s that? You must be out of your mind. Hmm… is it cold down there? Should I throw in some warm shit?”
Lee Byeok stiffened. It wasn’t difficult to guess what Seol-Hwi meant by “warm shit.”
“No! G-great one! I-I must have been crazy all this time!” He shut his eyes, unable to bear the sight of the feces.
“Should I shit here? Or closer to you~”
“Ah, please, please…” Lee Byeok wept, but his opponent seemed to have no intention of backing down. His appeals went unheard.
“Here!”
Plop. Plop. Something was being done. Splash.
“Ack!” The space was too small for Lee Byeok to escape, no matter how hard he struggled.
Plop, plop, plop.
“Ahh! Ahhhhhh! What kind of fat bastard are you?! Why aren’t you done?!”
Look at him being cheap.
Plop.
Off to the right, he could see “Turn Based” and “AI,” neither of which he understood.
“This is how I was fighting until now.” He was glad the system was telling him about it. Taking extra damage was a surprise. But what was this about focus?”
“Stop shi—! Stop shitting!”
Plop. Plop.
Lee Byeok’s voice wafted up from below, but Seol-Hwi ignored it.
“This seems good, doesn’t it?” Seol-Hwi’s face brightened. Of course, he didn’t know that AI meant Artificial Intelligence, or what the system was, but he could understand that it would help him.
“Are you even human? How can you shit this much!”
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“Should I choose one?”
It looked like he could keep changing them.
“So how would this work…?”
His anger must have given him superhuman strength: Lee Byeok was climbing up the wall, despite his leg wound. It was the perfect opportunity for Seol-Hwi to satisfy his curiosity.
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