Chapter 40: 38: Instilling Understanding

Completely drained of energy already, Qinghe lay limply on the bed, his head resting on the pillow as his hair fanned around him.

Hearing Wei Xiang’s words, Qinghe widened his eyes as he repeated, “P-punish me?”

Wei Xiang raised an eyebrow. “Oh? You don’t think you deserve punishment for all the worry you’ve caused us? Do you know how anxious we all were not knowing where you were or what was happening to you? Do you know how many horrible scenarios kept circling through my mind when I realized how much danger you were in?! Damn it Qinghe, I could have lost you this time!” Wei Xiang’s voice rose.

Qinghe tried to bury himself deeper in the bed. He didn’t know how to deal with the grief twisting Wei Xiang’s face or the franticness that flashed through his expression when he mentioned losing him.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Qinghe murmured meekly. “You can punish me however you want. You can hit me till you feel better, so don’t be angry anymore, okay?”

All his fury draining away, Wei Xiang sighed.

He didn’t want to cause his injured lover any more distress, but he needed to learn to take better care of himself. Qinghe needed to stop using himself as a disposable chess piece so casually. He needed to understand that there were people willing to help him and share his troubles.

But yelling at him would only hurt him and convey none of these points.

Wei Xiang sighed tiredly again. “Qinghe, love, I’m not mad at you. I’m just very disappointed at how careless you are with your own life.”

Qinghe looked away and tried to justify himself, “I wasn’t careless. I was already prepared to deal with everything that could happen. Even though I got hurt, it was still under control. I wouldn’t have died. And as long as I’m not dead, everything else can be fixed.”

Hearing those words that showed just how much Qinghe disregarded his own suffering, Wei Xiang’s chest ached deeply.

Not knowing how to make his stubborn lover understand, Wei Xiang leaned down, his forehead beside Qinghe’s chest as he wrapped his arms around his beloved. He felt the weight of every one of the fourteen thousand years he’d lived dragging down on his bones, he was so tired.

Anxiously raising a hand, Qinghe patted Wei Xiang’s hair hesitantly. “…Xiang?” he called out in nervousness. It seemed something he’d done had hurt Wei Xiang deeply, but he didn’t know what or why. He felt panic rising. Would Wei Xiang get fed up and leave him?

“Xiang, I’m sorry,” Qinghe apologized for the umpteenth time. “I’ll be good, just tell me what to do. Don’t be sad, please?”

Wei Xiang rose up again and looked at his frantic lover. This was doing neither of them any good. And in his exhaustion, he only seemed to be making things worse.

He took a deep breath to clear his mind.

It was obvious that he had to put it in a different way for Qinghe to understand. It seemed a demonstration was in order.

“I have decided on your punishment. Will you accept it, whatever it may be?” he asked.

Qinghe sat up unsteadily on the bed and hurriedly nodded. He was so scared Wei Xiang would find him too much of a bother and leave him that he would agree to anything he said right now.

Wei Xiang smiled without humor and took out from his sleeve a sharp dagger with a long and thin blade. He handed it to Qinghe, who turned it over curiously in his hand. What was he supposed to do with this?

Then Wei Xiang explained, “Qinghe, your punishment is this: for every wound you have, you will stab me once.”

Jerking upright, Qinghe looked at him shocked. “S-Stab you? No! Xiang, I can’t hurt you. Why would you―”

Not heeding his objections, Wei Xiang captured Qinghe’s hand that held the dagger and brought it towards himself. Qinghe tried to pull back but had no strength in his arms right now. Wei Xiang pressed the tip of the blade against his own vulnerable neck and pushed down, forming a divot.

“Why not? Didn’t you promise me just now that you’d accept whatever punishment I gave you?” he reminded cruelly.

“B-But I don’t want to―”

“Didn’t you say that as long as you’re prepared to be hurt, the injuries you’ve suffered don’t matter? All that matters is that you don’t die, am I right?”

Wei Xiang’s fingers tightened around Qinghe’s hand.

“That’s not…”

“Well,” Wei Xiang smiled thinly, his eyes cold, “I won’t die if you stab me a few times. I am already prepared for the pain, so according to your logic, everything should be fine, yes?”

“I-I didn’t mean… No, I can’t…” Qinghe desperately tried to argue but could only speak incoherently. His hand holding the dagger lightly trembled, yet he tried to hold himself still so that the blade wouldn’t hurt Wei Xiang. He was frenetic and frustrated, his eyes tearing up in helplessness.

“Tell me, was anything I said wrong?” Wei Xiang mercilessly continued.

Qinghe shook his head and begged falteringly, “Xiang, please…please don’t……please…”

Wei Xiang finally took pity. He let go of Qinghe’s hand, letting the dagger leave his throat. Qinghe immediately flung the blade away as if it was a poisonous viper.

Circling his arms around his still trembling lover, Wei Xiang lifted him up and held him close, seating him sideways on his lap. With Qinghe’s head buried in his shoulder, Wei Xiang soothingly patted his back as he asked in a calmer voice, “Tell me, why didn’t you want to do it?”

Qinghe whispered dully, “I…don’t want to hurt you.”

“Why?” he asked again.

“Because I… because it would pain me more to see you hurt than being hurt myself would.”

Nodding, Wei Xiang said, “Then what makes you think I’d feel any different towards you? Just like seeing me hurt pains you, seeing you hurt pains me too.”

Qinghe didn’t know what to say to that.

“Do you think I care any less about you than you care for me?”

Slowly, Qinghe shook his head.

“Tell me then, if I was in your place, if everything that was done to you by them was instead done to me, how would you feel?” Wei Xiang asked, and immediately felt the slender body in his embrace stiffen.

What would Qinghe feel? Rage, desperation, fear, worry…and the desire to rip apart every single one who contributed to his beloved’s suffering―that’s what he’d feel!

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Wei Xiang’s voice sounded sad as he spoke, “All of that is what I felt when I saw you like that. You were so hurt and in pain, you looked on the verge of death. You must have been so helpless and suffered so much, yet I was unable to do anything, I didn’t even know it was happening.”

Qinghe felt as if his heart was pierced with a hundred daggers when he heard the pain in his lover’s voice.

Wei Xiang hugged the person in his arms tighter as he whispered into his ear hoarsely, “Qinghe, I love you.”

Jerking in surprise, Qinghe wanted to say something, but Wei Xiang continued, “I love you, but if I keep having to constantly see you hurting yourself like this to the point of near-death, even I will eventually break.”

These heartrending words triggered a memory and Qinghe suddenly remembered what the silver-haired Elder had advised him yesterday―

‘Yes, you are strong. You are stronger than most and with good reason. But keep in mind that if you keep being strong like this, you will break your loved ones. Boy, be careful.’

He suddenly felt like he understood.

He’d thought he was being strong by handling everything on his own, never caring about pain or injury. But if he kept being strong in that sense, his loved ones would be the ones suffering whenever he came back wounded. Even if he didn’t mind, they minded very much.

So rather than taking everything on by himself, should he…ask for help? Would that make them worry less?

Qinghe lifted his head up and rubbed his cheek against Wei Xiang’s. Softly, he said, “Xiang, I’m sorry I made you worry. I understand now, I won’t be like this anymore. If I need to do something dangerous, I’ll just ask for help, okay? I’ll make sure I don’t get hurt as much. Is this alright?”

Wei Xiang saw the uncertainty on his lover’s face as if he still wasn’t sure if this was what he should do. Though Qinghe was able to accurately read people’s thoughts on their faces, sometimes understanding what those thoughts meant still seemed beyond him. His personality was warped by his childhood and his thoughts went often in a completely different direction that most wouldn’t be able to follow. But it was the same for Qinghe, he felt that others were just as incomprehensible too.

So if he was to be made to comprehend something, it should be explained to him in terms he could understand. That was what Wei Xiang had finally succeeded in doing.

Wei Xiang smiled warmly and patted Qinghe’s head as he praised, “Yes, it’s good that you understood.”

Qinghe returned the smile happily. It seemed he had finally gotten it right.

“Now, you should apologize to your junior brothers too. You caused them a lot of difficulty as well,” Wei Xiang told him.

Nodding Qinghe said, “Okay then, I’ll apologize the next time I see them.”

“Good. Now let me heal your remaining injuries,” Wei Xiang said seriously, but his eyes were sparkling with mischief.

Seeing him back to his old self, Qinghe helplessly agreed. “Okay, but how are you going to do that?”

Wei Xiang’s smirk got wider. “I am the son of a dragon queen, and like most beasts with a dragon bloodline, my saliva can greatly speed up healing.”

Blinking, Qinghe was still trying to make sense of the words when Wei Xiang had begun to take off the clothes he’d just put on him.

“Oi! What are you doing?” Qinghe asked flusteredly.

“I’m taking your clothes off so I can apply my saliva over your wounds,” Wei Xiang spoke like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Did that mean he was going to lick him all over?! Qinghe thought while blushing.

And sure enough, that seemed to be exactly what Wei Xiang was planning.

Pushing the now naked Qinghe back down on the bed, Wei Xiang surveyed his wounds. After Qinghe had imbibed the pills he’d fed, most of the wounds had healed, leaving only faint marks.

Leaning down, he slowly scraped his moist tongue over a bruise on Qinghe’s chest. Qinghe froze as heat began to spread under his skin. He could feel the pain in that area dissipating. The wound had completely disappeared.

Qinghe tried to lay still and let Wei Xiang heal him, but the constant feeling of being licked by his lover’s hot tongue made his desire slowly rise. Biting his lip, Qinghe tried to contain his reaction, but lying like this without a stitch of clothing on, how could his arousal be missed?

“Oh, dear,” Wei Xiang exclaimed playfully. His fingers lightly skimmed over Qinghe’s erect shaft as he continued, “Is this place injured as well?”

“Mn…” Qinghe muttered incoherently. The sensation of those fingertips gliding up and down softly was almost unbearable. He started twisting due to the intense need that started pulsing through him.

“Maybe I should take care of it just in case,” Wei Xiang teased.

“…Xiang…” Qinghe called out in a voice husky with want.

Wei Xiang’s eyes darkened with lust of his own. Deciding to give his beloved some relief, Wei Xiang bent his head towards his lover’s stiff organ.

Qinghe felt warm breath fanning over his hard length a moment before Wei Xiang’s moist mouth enclosed it. Qinghe jerked and moaned as his lover wrapped his tongue around the tip, lapping at it lightly. Slowly, Wei Xiang swallowed the shaft until it reached his throat.

Sweat beaded on Qinghe’s skin as he writhed. This felt too good, the heat around his member scalding him and fanning his flames higher. The molten desire ran through his veins, turning his skin oversensitive everywhere his lover touched him.

Slick noises sounded sinfully in the room as Wei Xiang expertly moved his lips and tongue over and around the stiffness in his mouth, not neglecting to flick his tongue over the sensitive slit on the head. Qinghe constantly moaned in a soft voice that melted Wei Xiang’s heart as he worked over his lover eagerly.

As Wei Xiang moved his mouth up and down, the friction against his sensitive shaft pushed Qinghe higher and higher until he finally erupted. Feeling the throat wrapped around his pulsing member tighten as Wei Xiang swallowed, Qinghe’s climax intensified, going on and on until he had nothing more left.

Qinghe slumped back on the bed and Wei Xiang joined beside him while licking his lips. “How do you feel?” he asked concernedly.

But Qinghe’s eyes were fixed on his lover’s lips moistened by his own release. Even though he had just had his desire sated, Qinghe still felt unsatisfied. He wanted to try doing it for his lover too. He was curious to see how Wei Xiang would taste.

Seeming to read his mind, Wei Xiang smiled and told him, “You can reciprocate after you heal completely. Now stop looking at me like that or I’ll be tempted to take this much further.”

“I have no objections to that,” Qinghe replied eagerly.

Laughing, Wei Xiang covered Qinghe with a blanket and pecked him on the forehead before saying, “Go to sleep, love.”

And so, after pouting for a bit, Qinghe quickly fell asleep.

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