Chapter 13: 13. SMALL STEPS

SVAN CHORYTH

I sat on the bed, trying to digest every piece of information that Eliora fed me. Mana, divines, demons, spatial manipulation. My thought process went in circles around these words. I wanted to feel excited, at least it turned out that I wasn’t just some useless noble with no abilities, but for some unknown reasons, I couldn’t.

I paced restlessly around the room, my thoughts keeping me company, though they were unproductive. I faced a bothersome quandary in which I had a lot on my mind but couldn’t seem to focus on any of it, like being in a garden filled with butterflies, chasing after all of them but not catching any one of them.

I walked in front of the window, and once again, I caught the sight of Eliora staring at her little garden. I didn’t need to be told that she had some sort of connection with the garden, and though she told me it was because of Yukina, I was convinced that there was more to it. She didn’t seem to notice that I was looking at her; unlike earlier in the morning, it looked like she was lost in her thoughts or maybe reminiscing an old memory.

“Mom,” I said in a very low-pitched voice.

There was a high probability that she was my mother, but I couldn’t possibly understand what it felt like to have one. As much as I wanted to come to terms with it, I still saw her as a woman named Eliora who claimed she was my mother. The truth was, I wasn’t sure if I really needed a mother figure, and no matter how I thought of it, that connection would probably never be made between us.

I walked to the bed and sat on it. Shifting my thoughts away from Eliora. I tried to recollect everything that had happened since I left, up until this moment. Maybe by doing so, I could find some clues or missing pieces. I vividly remembered my encounter with the falx and what the grey domain felt like when it first manifested. It was a fact that I got quicker and improved my reflexes in that state, but I didn’t really feel any connection to the mana Eliora was talking about.

“What could possibly be the mana?” I asked myself. “Was it the grey atmosphere or the flames I saw on Yukina and the falx’s silhouettes?”

No matter how much I thought about it, there was no way I could say what it was for sure. I was able to recreate the grey domain quite easily, solely through my imagination. When I first activated it on my own, I did so by remembering the emotions I felt and the way my body reacted. Though the grey domain was an interesting upgrade, it wasn’t sufficient, and Eliora proved it to me. If I could consciously recreate the teleport I had performed when Eliora used me to test her premise, I would feel much more accomplished, and even Yukina would have a hard time against me.

I sighed, collapsing on the bed with both eyes shut. I tried to give it a shot and see if it would result in anything. Surprisingly, I found myself standing in a direful place covered with water that rose a few inches above the ground. The whole area was pitch-dark, making sight impossible. The darkness was frightening and very unfriendly to the eyes. 

“Another unpleasant surprise,” I muttered in fear.

If such strange happenings keep on unfolding like a norm, it wouldn’t be long before I would be driven to complete insanity.

The whole area was dead silent with an aura of unsettling tranquility. I was so scared to even utter another word.

“Finally, you are here,” a feminine voice echoed from the depths of the never-ending darkness.

The voice was welcoming, contrasting the dreaded nature of the whole place.

“Who are you,” I asked in a shaky voice.

“I can’t tell you that, at least not now. You will get to know me when the time comes.”

Right. Just as I expected. Whoever she was, I was beginning to like her. I definitely hadn't learned any lesson. I should know better that answering such questions would eventually lead to more questions, ultimately confusing me and making me wish I hadn't asked the question in the first place.

“Are you the thing Eliora talked about?” I asked again.

“You know, I am actually thinking about a proper form of punishment to give to you for being rude, idiot. First, you call me a thing, and secondly, don’t you think it’s rude to refer to your mother by her name.”

“Wow, this is a new form of crazy,” I said to myself.

“I can hear you loud and clear,” she said as I felt something hit me hard on my belly.

“I think at this point, it’s important to remind you that you’d have been long dead if it weren't for me. Remember the ice spear? Did you think that you were fabulously fast enough to avoid it? The thing you call the grey domain, did you think it manifested just on its own? Who did you think saved Yukina from impending death? And how were you possibly able to be here with your mother? It was me. It was all my doing, so the least you can do is to show some gratitude.”

I winced in pain as I struggled to stay on my feet.

“I’m sorry,” I coughed out in a desperate attempt to avoid getting hit again. 

When the pain dulled, I stood upright. With one hand still clutching my stomach, and in a very polite manner, I asked,

“What do you want from me?”

“I think this question should be directed the other way round,” the voice replied.

“Well, I will cut you the goose chase. I am sick and tired of listening to all the crap and self-loathing you say to yourself. Seriously, it’s annoying because you are just all talk. That aside, I brought you here to your mother to set my plans in motion.”

“What plans?” I asked.

“About that, I can’t also tell you, but learning about your abilities is one of them. You must know that you are a lot stronger than you think. You just have to connect with the mana around you.”

“How can I be able to do that?”

“If I tell you how, it would be boring. Discovering how to do it on your own would be much more fun, so I am just going to sit back and watch your little show. There is enough time for that, at least. I have already provided you some clues, so piece them together and see the bigger picture.” 

Her voice gradually faded into the dark emptiness before it suddenly came alive again.

“And one more thing, you are a stillbringer.”

Everywhere got bright again as I found myself lying on the bed.

“What was that just now?”

I hadn’t moved an inch from where I lay, but I still felt some pain in my belly. I had no idea who spoke to me, but her last words clanged in my head.

“You are a stillbringer.”

I also remembered her saying that I should connect with the mana around me and that she had provided me with the clues I needed to fit the pieces together. Everything that had happened to me had to be connected in some manner. I just needed to figure it out.

Maybe I was too excited or rather carried away by the grey domain that I failed to grasp its very concept. The grey domain was simply a form of perception. I could see and feel things differently than any person normally would. There had to be something behind it; something had to grant me those perceptive abilities.

An idea came into my mind. I tried to recreate the warmth I felt throughout my body whenever I switched to the grey domain, but this time, not actually trying to be in it. I didn’t really know how I would be able to pull it off, but I had to try regardless. Interestingly, it was working. I felt the warmth, but I kept my eyes shut just so I don’t open them and find myself in the grey domain. After a little while, I separated my eyelids slowly to see if I was still in it, and surprisingly, I wasn’t. I could still feel the warmth, like a warm fire burning from inside me, originating from my chest, radiating all over my body.

It was reaching for something intangible, but at the same time, I felt like I could touch it.

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“Finally!” I exclaimed. 

It had to be the mana that I was feeling. I tried to put my hypothesis to test as I stretched my hands towards the table and tried to grab it from a distance. I didn’t think it would work, but if what Eliora said about abilities were true, there should at least be some sort of reaction. Strikingly, it worked. The table was drawn towards me like it was a metal being attracted by a magnet.

I was beyond excited. It was astonishing to see that I was able to do something that was so out of the ordinary. Though it wasn’t the first as the grey domain held that spot, the feeling was different. The grey domain felt a bit more natural because I was the one performing the kinetics, but this; was oddly exciting. In the same fashion, I pushed the table away from me back to its original position. 

I sat down for a while, pondering the possibilities of being a stillbringer. If I was, it should have manifested a long time ago. I paused for a moment as a thought flashed into my head. Maybe the reason why my Feel never manifested was that I was a part divine. The warmth I felt in my body was definitely what granted me the ability to manipulate mana, so it had to have the same function as the Feel. What was confusing was that being a stillbringer meant that I should have the Feel. 

One possibility was that both mediums nullified themselves. Another was that my Feel was more recessive, like it was insubstantial.

“Crit!” I gasped. 

I remembered him dangling some medallion in my direction, which rendered me unable to activate the grey domain. Most importantly, I still remembered how my body reacted out of desperation, and I was jerked violently. I knew I ran incredibly fast and covered a lot of distance to get close to Yukina and Vixra.

“Could that be the Feel?”

It was logical, considering it happened when whatever medium of mana manipulation I had as a divine got suppressed. My conclusion was that both mediums of mana manipulation could not co-manifest even though I happened to have both of them. Though I was clueless, I was also very optimistic because I could already feel stronger than I was a few hours ago. Just being able to perform a simple push and pull would undoubtedly be very efficient and effective in a battle scenario.

Eliora came into the room,

“We set for Stavren tomorrow. What do you think?”

I nodded,

“I think it’s a good idea.”

She wore a content smile as she turned to leave.

“Would you mind if I spar with you for a bit?” I asked, stopping her in her tracks.

It was clear that she was very surprised,

“Sure,” she replied in what sounded mocking.

I wasn’t trying to get ahead of myself, but I was too eager to test the effectiveness of my newfound abilities. We both went outside to a large clearing close to her house. At that moment, it was to our convenience that where she lived was largely isolated and didn't have any neighbors.

“When you are ready,” she said to me.

I knew I would lose the duel, but I could learn a thing or two from it. Eliora saw my hesitation to draw out my sword,

“It’s okay. You can use that too.”

She conjured iced spikes and launched them toward me. In response, I switched to the grey domain; as expected, she was covered in blue flames.

“Too slow.”

I side-dashed, evading all of it as I charged toward her. She looked completely defenseless. I could feel some sort of distortion approaching from behind me like something was tearing through the viscous atmosphere sending its ripple waves towards me. I didn’t need to see it, I just needed to avoid it, and I was able to just in time. It wasn’t difficult to tell that she wasn’t being serious. If she was, she could have launched the spikes from close proximity, which would have been nearly impossible for me to avoid, just like she did when we were having breakfast.

Though I didn’t know much about how elementals were able to manipulate mana, I knew that conjuring ice in that manner would require very fine and precise control. If she did something similar again, I planned to push them away in the same fashion as I did with the table.

I pressed on but was wary of any rocks that might erupt and aim at me, but none of it came. I slashed toward her direction though I knew she would easily defend against it. Her silhouette raised its hands just above her head to block my sword.

“What is she doing?”

For a moment, I was scared that I would cut off her arm, but when my sword landed on her arm, it didn’t cut through. I heard something crack, and after that, my sword was stuck. I tried to pull it out, but it was to no avail. I immediately switched out of the grey domain to get a good look at what just happened.

Disbelief struck me when I found out my sword's blades were frozen, and the frost kept spreading towards its hilt. I immediately let go of my sword, stepping away from her. I watched in horror as the frost covered the entirety of my sword and shattered it like it was made from some brittle material, not metal. She was definitely on a different level than anyone I had ever encountered.

Her expression changed when I pulled her towards me, with disbelief written all over her face. I was certain that she’d least expected it. I was glad that it was actually working on a person. As she drew closer, I switched into the grey domain and landed a solid punch on her torso. Everything happened so fast that by blinking, one might miss it. She fell backward but reacted just in time to cushion her fall. A punch was the best I could pull off since I had no other weapon, and if she were to attack again, it would probably spell the end of the fight.

She walked towards me and patted my head, 

“You win.”

I smiled shyly. I happily accepted my victory even though I knew she didn’t even use half her strength.

“Because you let me,” I replied.

“Come on, don’t be polite when you win. You’ve got to claim it. Your reactions are very fast, maybe even faster than mine, and the fact that you were able to land a clean blow on me despite not having a clear understanding of your abilities is really impressive.”

I was relieved. At least she didn’t beat the crap out of me, and looking at her, I could tell she was genuinely happy.

“Let’s head back inside and make preparations for tomorrow.”

I followed her lead as we walked side by side towards the house.

“But how were you able to do that; the thing you did and pulled me towards you,” she asked, looking very curious.

I smiled,

“I will tell you when we get inside.”

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