Chapter 15: Chapter 15

I felt the same dread as when I summoned Ra'zizi, but this time it seemed to come from somewhere even deeper within me. Like a person on a lone night walk suddenly hearing footsteps on an empty street, too afraid to turn around and check, but much more blood-curdling. The darkness around me felt like it was about to suffocate me.
My throat felt constricted. I had to ready myself to speak up.
"Who is this?", I asked.
The voice chuckled in the most unnerving manner, a warping, rumbling jeer. The sound seemed to slow down gradually, until it faded to an almost inaudible ringing in my ears.
"I am the Eastern Wind. I bring the knowledge of the arcane on masts of starlight. I herald the coming of dawn and the vanquishing of the umbral moon. My hands grasp the blizzards that cut through wings of sloth. My eyes see through the sons of Adam, and through all their deception, and their desire, and through the demons' hearts. I am the gold of the hilt of the blade of punishment. I am King."
With this, I was sure that I performed the ritual correctly. This must have been Ald-ghareth then, a - if one were to trust Tim's words on the matter - Lord of Hell. Knowing this didn't make it better.

As I was hearing this bizarre introduction, I thought there was a creaking sound behind me. Briskly turning around, I only saw more of the swirling black fog.
"The succubus cannot see or hear us talk," the voice spoke again. "That is what you fear, mortal."
I felt obliged to nod politely and keep on looking into the shadow vortices in front of me. My heart was beating so fast, I could swear it was audible within a meter away from my body.
"Why did you call out to me?" the voice asked again.
"I..." I stuttered and froze up. You haven't felt desperation until you've tried entrusting your life to something like this. At any moment, I thought, whatever it was would kill me, or worse, torment me in a way that Ra'zizi couldn't.
"Ra'zizi," it said, almost the moment I thought of her name. I gulped.
"Yes..."
"You want... to get rid of her?" the voice asked tentatively.
I felt sweat dripping from my brow. Like a prisoner with a death sentence hanging over him, trying to appease the court in a last ditch appeal, I couldn't help but nod yet again. There was a moment of silence that I dared not interrupt while I tried to keep my limbs from squirming anxiously.
"Very well," the voice responded, resounding in my head. "I shall make it so. In return, you will deliver me souls."
"Souls?"
"Mortals' souls. This in exchange for my aid."

I felt my stomach churn. Deep in my heart, I felt a squeezing sensation, like I was at extreme unease, the type you'd feel realizing there's an avalanche about to bury you. I imagined how my parents, my sister would look at me. What Izzie would think of me...
"No..."
No?" the voice asked with the slightest hint of irritation.
"I... I can't bring myself to kill people, I can't do it, I'm sorry!" I blurted out and felt myself tearing up. I lowered my head. I was done. I knew I wouldn't be able to live that way.

The voice sneered, and the skin on my arms felt like it was being stabbed with a million tiny hooks pulling it off of my body.
"You are a weakling! Such lack of resolve... Perfect..."
I brought my head back up, my mouth slightly open, one of my eyebrows raised.
"I don't need you to make me blood offerings," the demon explained. "You won't need to stab, strangle, or shoot anyone."
I could only surmise what this meant - burning people alive? Electrocuting them? Thoughts raced through my head. As if feeling my hesitation, the voice continued,
"You won't need to even harm anyone yourself, mortal."
Hearing this, my eyes opened wide. The demon's offer felt tailored to my own liking. I cleared my throat and asked with a humble voice,
"...How? How would I do it?"

The chuckling resounded again, and it seemed to encircle me, sounding to the right, then to the left, six times, closer and closer, like a wolf measuring up its prey before leaping.
"I knew my offer would be well-received," it jeered. "Before I tell you, what does it mean to you?"
"To... me?" I answered, trying to locate the voice by turning my head left and right.
"The offer. A pact. How do I know you are not a waste of my time, mortal?"
"I am not!" I insisted. I felt the another pang of a sqeezing sensation in my heart. The voice didn't respond. "I mean it, I swear, I can do it!" I yelled, my voice trembling.
Nothing, complete silence. I started nervously looking up, down, left and right, expecting to be back in the with Ra'zizi at any point.

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"I will do it!" I pleaded. "Just don't make me hurt people!"
Suddenly I heard a growl right near the back of my head. It startled me so much, I almost sprang up completely to stand on my feet. In the end, I just hopped a bit forward. I wasn't sure I didn't piss myself.
"I won't have to" the voice jeered. "What do you want the most?"

I tried steadying myself and felt another case of my mind going blank. I didn't know where to put my hands. Like at a job interview, but a million times worse, it made me feel very lightheaded.
"Like I said, I want Ra'zizi gone from my life," it felt strange to say these words. Speaking in honesty made no difference to the fact I remembered her warm, comforting embrace, the feeling of body connected to body - the fulfilled longing. She was no good for me, but I felt like I was backstabbing her.
"No," the voice replied and I felt pushed off track again. "You have a deeper desire."
"I..." I hesitated. I tried searching deepest I could into myself. Before I was done, the voice spoke for me yet again.
"You wish to be desired. You lust after women, after their caress, after their lust. That is why you summoned Ra'zizi."

I felt as if my stomach turned empty and was squeezing itself into a ball. I figured the demon could read me like an open book. I was reluctant to admit that it was right, but I also didn't want to argue, knowing I can't win.
"But... I still need her gone."
"That is how you shall get your wish," the voice cut me off. My mind was starting to feel torn - the demon now apparently trying to up-sell me on my original request, but why would it? Fearful as I might have felt, I also felt pulled towards the idea.
"I... "
"You want desire."
"... Yes," I finally admitted. There was no point in pretending. "But-"
"And you shall have it. You shall pick women of your liking, then bring them onto the sinful path."

I tried to avoid thinking about the proposal, to not reveal my interest, even in my thoughts.
"And I guarantee the succubus shall let go of you. This shall be your main reward," the demon's words carried an unwavering sense of authority, dictating what was going to happen, as if it had already happened.
"So... that's it? I seduce women and Ra'zizi goes away?" I asked with disbelief.
"You shall find women. You will unleash their debauchery, and in turn you will replenish your life force. That is how you will withstand Ra'zizi, until you're ready."
"... Ready?"
"Ready to rid yourself of her. All in its time."
I knew a part of me wanted such a power for years, but now that I was offered it, it somehow felt wrong. Besides, I already experienced what it's like to take demons up on their offer. Yet, who was I to bargain?
"But... " I said and felt myself become fidgety again. "You see, I'm not exactly a... womanizer..."
"You don't need to be," the voice answered, "with my aid, all is possible." It put additonal weight on the "all".
"Can I..." I wanted to say "make a counter-offer", but the demon must have heard my thought before my mouth moved.
"I won't bargain with you anymore..." the voice reverberated, as if speaking in a large tunnel. It made my ears ring. "Do you accept?" I was certain the demon was impatient.
The heavy feeling in my chest persisted. I was doing something wrong. Hell, I have been doing so many wrong things over these days, I could barely tell what I was doing. But I've already started. I couldn't back away. Yet, this plan seemed too simple to work.
"But then..." I paused, as it occurred to me Ra'zizi would obviously know what I was up to. Again, the voice replied before I could say anything.
"Ra'zizi won't know of this conversation," the voice assured me. When I raised my eyebrow again, it followed up with its go-to phrase. "I shall make it so. And when she reads your mind, she will not find the memory of this conversation, of our pact, nor of your thoughts of it."

I fell silent. Looking down at the floor, I tried imagining what I would have to do, and how I would go about it. I just couldn't believe it.

"Enough of this!" I jumped, startled by the voice's sudden anger. It sounded more menacing than I it had with its already strange strange timbre. "I am through with your feeble mind! You summoned me! Do you accept the pact or not?"
Every hair on my body was standing up. I straightened my back and felt myself shudder, my muscles tense and my breath held in. My head felt like it was being crushed. I turned my head up to look back at the swirling void.
"... Yes," I responded with a solemn voice.
The shadowy fog in front of me started moving about violently and, in a moment, assembled itself into the form of a black, sinewy hand. It looked like a cross between a bird's foot and a human hand, its boney fingers moving about, reassembling a gesture like one would pose a jointed doll.
"Excellent. Let us shake hands on it," the voice responded, ringing out with satisfaction.

Hesitatnly, I put my hand foreward. The demon's hand kept waiting open. Finally, when our palmes touched, it clasped onto mine like a mouse trap. I felt a searing pain, like a thousand shards of glass struck my skin. I yelped out, then winced and looked down on my hand. My blood was dripping onto the floor and the Bible. I didn't know what to do. The shock was so severe, I couldn't even bring myself to try and yank my hand back. Instead, I stared and moaned in terror, too shocked to even genuinely scream as the crushing sensation squeezed what was now a small stream of blood from my palm. I felt my finger bones were being crushed. I opened my mouth.
Suddenly, everything stopped. The scream I was about to let out fizzled out as an awkward, descending whine. As if in a blink, the scenery around me changed back to normal. There was no fog, I was back in my room. My hand was held out in the air, aching, but there was no blood. I held it up to my face, fascinated by the fact I could still move my fingers.

"What are you up to...?" I heard a voice, sweet and smooth. Delicate barefoot footsteps sounded behind me. "I've been looking for you."

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