Chapter 27: Chapter 27

I withstood the next two days, barely. For our date, me and Izzie went to a small jazz concert in a restaurant tucked conveniently away from the bustle of the city centre. I noticed during that time that she seemed to be spending a lot more time contemplating her drinks than looking at me or chatting. I told myself she was just enjoying the music. Ra'zizi was of course with us, at the table, butting into our short convos and shooting me lewd looks while trying her best to jerk me off under the table with her foot, but I managed to wiggle out of her foot's teasing grasp every time. Annoyed with me, she pushed on my hand, causing me to lose grasp of a glass of wine, making it tumble and spill on the table and partially on Izzie's dress. Strangely, Izzie herself almost didn't react, barely making sure the spill didn't hit her dress or shoes.

We didn't order any main dishes, and left promptly as the band's last chord rang out. There was a very uncomfortable silence between me and her as we walked back.

"That was nice, um," I began as we passed window fronts on a street that led back to the park we've been at before. "Those tickets, did they cost you a lot?"

"No, I mean... Don't worry about it..."

I felt so guilty, I could barely swallow my saliva. I could only withstand this silence until the park gates. As a cold breeze wafted past us, signaling the incoming autumn, I turned to Izzie the same moment she turned to me.

"Listen," I said, but she spoke at the same time.

"You're screwing Suzanne, right?", she asked as we stood at a fork in the road.

My mouth moved, but I didn't know what to say. Izzie looked me in the eyes for a moment and shook her head.

"I... This... Wha-"

To my surprise, she smirked, then laughed. But the laughter turned sour after a moment and she shielded her mouth with her hand and looked aside.

"Wow! Sorry, I... I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay! Izzie, I..."

"You don't need to tell me. It's none of my business," she said and looked down. "I just thought..."

I noticed her tearing up. Her mouth twitched. She continued, "I thought I found a man who was... serious about..."

She made a noise that sounded like a halted whimper, then sniffled.

"Agh! I'm sorry!" she turned back to look me in the eyes. "I just have a lot of shit to deal with right now, and, I'm... I'm just being stupid!"

I felt stunned, like I always did when either confronted or talking to a beautiful woman so openly.

"It's not what you think," I began.

"No, please don't... It's really not my business, we aren't that close, Matt," she tried to keep her voice steady, but the bitter expression on her face told the entire story.

"I swear I'm not-"

"No, forget I asked that, I don't know why I said it. Can we please change the topic?" she cut me off, trying to hide her face behind her hand. There was something about her tone of voice at that moment that felt really cold. We stood still for a moment looking at each other. Then, without a word, we turned and continued down the path towards our apartments.

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I felt there was something more at play here, more than just her suspicions about me and Suzanne. But with Izzie's sudden taciturn shift, I could only speculate. My steps felt rigid from the tension.

"Can I help somehow?" I broke the silence. Izzie turned to me with a confused expression. "You said you have a lot of stuff going on..."

"Oh. No, it's my brother, my parents..." she walked in silence for a moment, her hair fluttering in the wind. "Apparently there were cuts in government funding, so they're going to use the money they were saving up for me to go study to be a nurse, to pay for this physiotherapy... Which puts me, I mean us, back a few... No, I don't even want to think about it..."

"Okay, but if you need help-"

"Thank you, but I'm fine," she stopped walking and said with a confident voice and a poker face. I felt my stomach tighten, but after a couple seconds of looking each other in the eyes, she smiled back again, the same kind smile she always gave me. "I'm sorry," she chuckled, "I'm overwhelmed, I'll get over it, I promise. Let's go."

I was thanking my fate that Suzanne wasn't anywhere near, as we stood in front of Izzie's apartment. All the other stuff in her life notwithstanding, I had to make the attempt.

"So, how about we meet on Sunday?"

It was brazen and, in retrospective, stupid. But I was never good at coming up with plans under pressure, especially when threats of violence were coming from demonic entities.

"Huh? First of all, that's in two days, Matt," she said, surprised. "I'm almost out of money too."

"We could have a movie night."

"I... I don't know," she said. "Like I said, I have so much on my head..."

"It will help you relax..."

"But... but you... and Suzanne?" she looked me in the eyes again. "I'm sorry, Matt, I just don't know what to think, I want to believe you... but..."

As always, everything was slipping away. I wanted to help her. I didn't want to die. With regrets already mounting on me like ballast on my shoulders, without knowing what to do, I put my hand on her shoulder in a friendly manner.

"Izzie. I'm not hooking up with Suzanne," I said, trying to sound confident while gesturing vaguely around and towards her. "I want... this... us..."

I saw her eyes look almost like they were glazing over when I touched her. Her lips parted slightly, as her gaze seemed to defocus, and then refocus on me in a span of a few seconds. She took a long breath, and finally said,

"... Okay... This Sunday, right? Sunday evening?"

"Sunday evening, the day after tomorrow...", I said with a smile. "See you then."

"I won't take advantage of her," I promised myself while showering. "I'm not that kind of person, and she's too good to use whatever the hell this is on. We'll just be close friends until I'm done."

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