Chapter 41: Chapter 41

I didn't notice it at first, but there was a clock in the room. It must have been on the desk, turned away from me, because at regular intervals it gave a soft ticking sound, then went silent, as if the mechanism inside either wasn't well-regulated enough, or the rhythmic padded ticking was meant to soothe and give a measure of the passage of time. Doctor Carder seemed to first examine my outward appearance thoroughly, then came the reciting of the trivial details, like my family and educational background, and finally we went over why I asked for help in the first place, after which she congratulated me the bravery, and all the rest of the pleasantries. In the middle of her reassuring, I realized that I didn't feel shy or withdrawn at all. Previously I would be too stressed to talk about any personal issues, but now it was as if all of this pressure was gone. The thought kept returning: what did I have to lose?

"Now, this is a lot to process, and I know it's complicated, but... Do you mind answering a few questions about this demon for me?" her words came out almost silky smooth, so smooth you could mistake them for a compliment and a cheer if you didn't know their meaning.

"Sure," I answered calmly.

"This demon... Have you seen it?"

"Her. For sure."

There was a pause during which Stephanie Carder displayed her mastery of the poker face.

"Really?" she then cocked her head with interest and a gentle, encouraging smile, "What do they... does she... look like?"

"Well, it's... a succubus," I said and waited for a reaction, but none came. "You know, a- a female demon, the succubus, is the most voluptuous, supermodel-like woman you can imagine-"

"Voluptuous?"

I made an hourgass sign with my arms.

"Huge tits. Tall. Wide lips, but not too wide, eyes that look salacious..."

"I see..."

"Or she is sometimes flat like an ironing board," I continued.

"Ironing board?" Stephanie raised her eyebrow and began to take notes on a clipboard she pulled off the table.

I felt no shame in discussing this. I don't know why.

"Yes, so she's small, like short, small tits, very thin build... and of course both forms have horns, wings and tails."

"Of course, right, I see..." she looked back up at me, "So she can change her looks?"

"Exactly," I nodded slowly. I felt absent-minded a bit, maybe it was the lack of decor in the room, or the fact the session felt like ages spent describing the most mundane things.

"So, tell me, what does a succubus do?"

I smirked and almost chuckled, thinking that this was a ruse, but seeing the psych's unchanging factial expression made me stop and clear my throat.

"Well, she... drains my life force."

"... How?"

At this point I couldn't help but raise my eyebrow.

"By sex, obviously. She's mischievous, assertive... and always hungry."

Doctor Carder nodded and asked, without a hint of mockery.

"And is this... pleasant to you?"

"Yes, but it's all more for her to toy with me."

"Toy with you?"

"To torment me."

"Mhm," she hummed as her pen was moving vigorously, then looked back at me. "Does it work?"

"Oh yes," I replied immediately. "Every time."

"And does she only appear when you're... sexually frustrated?" she let the question hang at the end.

"No, no," I shook my head. "She appears whenever she wants."

For a moment, Stephie looked concerned at me, then returned to a neutral, if slightly optimistic face.

"Do you talk to her?"

"Yes," I said, looking down.

"Does she ever talk back?"

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Suddenly it felt like someone turned the thermostat ten degrees lower in the room. I let the moment of self-awareness wash over me, then looked back up at the psych.

"Yes."

Doctor Carder momentarily opened her mouth, then closed it, nodding slowly.

"Does... she... have a name?"

"Ra'zizi."

"Ra...zzi?"

"Ra'zizi," I repeated. The word itself somehow felt powerful.

We both sat back for a moment. I stayed quiet, taking a deep breath while she pursed her already quite thin lips and looked down at her notes.

After rubbing her temple for a moment, she hummed with what seemed like hesitation. Putting her clipboard aside, doctor Carder shuffled her legs, putting left one over right, and grabbed her knee to lean in a bit. She spent another minute repeating her initial action—looking closely at me, slowly nodding. I met her gaze and saw what seemed like concern, hidden behind layers of reenacted, professional neutrality.

"Matt? Can I ask you one more thing?" she asked.

"Sure."

After hesitating for a moment, she said, with a coureous smile, "the succubus... Ra'zizi... is she here, now?"

I looked away momentarily, then met her gaze again and smiled back, replying "yes."

"Oh. And..." she directed her gaze left and right, then back at me. "Where is she?"

"She's sitting next to you. On the armrest."

I don't know if it was the way I said it, but Stephanie's body seemed to oddly stiffen up a bit for a brief few seconds, like she wasn't comfortable sitting there. She blinked forcefully a couple of times and smiled, exhaling, then shot me back an ironic look, with one eyebrow raised and a polite smile, like I caught her on a gotcha. I met it with an unyielding, frank gaze. The clock on her desk started ticking loudly, or at least it sounded louder than before. After a moment of silence, Stephanie looked cautiously to her right. Ra'zizi was right there, letting her full thighs flow over the armrest. Propping herself up against the wide back of the chair, she was sitting with one leg over the other, just like Stephanie. I met the succubus's sly gaze, and she put up her index finger to her lower lip, dragging it slightly.

"I'm sorry, Matt, but..." Stephanie said, "Matt?"

I realized I was still looking Ra'zizi in the eyes, so I quickly returned to the conversation.

"Yes?"

"Matt, are you absolutely sure that you see a succubus on my armrest?" the psychologist for the first time sounded the slightest bit worried, leaning far in and squinting.

"Absolutely."

"Hmm..." she hummed and nodded again. "Do you think there's a reason why I can't see her?"

"Of course."

She continued nodding and looking intently at me as we sat in silence. I smiled and glanced shot Ra'zizi a quick look before continuing.

"You want me to say I think it's because she isn't real, don't you?"

"I only want you to tell me what you think, Matt," she said with concern. "Is that what you think?"

"Oh, but she is real," I paused and waited for the nodding to stop, but Stephanie just kept going. "I can prove it to you..." I added, leaning back.

"Can you?" she said with a slightest contorted smile that she corrected to a polite one almost immediately.

I turned to Ra'zizi once more. When our eyes met, she started grinning widely, fluttering her wings.

"Do it," I said to her, loudly enough for the psychologist to hear.

Ra'zizi held on to the backrest and leaned over towards Stephanie. I followed the succubus's movement as she slowly lowered her head and turned it to be almost touching doctor Carder's, at a distance short enough to whisper. The psychologist kept on giving me an unimpressed look, slightly tilting her head forward and trying to smile politely. Then, Ra'zizi pursed her lips and gently blew right into her ear.

Stephanie almost instantly jumped up and to her left, waving her hand around as if she was trying to shoo away a mosquito. Ra'zizi burst out laughing and slapping her thighs, and almost fell off the armrest.

"How did you-..." the doctor looked at me, eyes wide and brows furrowed severely for a moment, before she remembered her therapeutic manners. She cleared her throat and fixed her posture. "Ahem... That was pretty impressive, Matt," she tried to laugh it off, but failed to hide the shakiness in her voice, "Uh... Well, I guess I know enough now, but let's talk about you. What do you hope to get out of these sessions?"

I saw Ra'zizi get up and walk around the chair, then bend over the backrest so that her huge breasts were dangling over Stephanie's head. I smirked.

"Matt?" she asked, voice a tone higher than before.

My eyes and attention steadily went back to Stephanie. Looking her in the eyes, I said, "I would like you to see what else there is," I paused and smiled up at the succubus. "To see, and to believe. To help me."

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